Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

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http://machinadynamica.com/machina44.htm

J0hn D., Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:05 (eleven years ago) link

lololololol

J0hn D., Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:06 (eleven years ago) link

"The very best sound was obtained when I slightly loosened the screws on the Duplex Covers. And they sound great!!.

8]

morris pavilion, Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:12 (eleven years ago) link

lolololol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:15 (eleven years ago) link

every product on the site is like New Hope for the Ape-Eared

J0hn D., Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:20 (eleven years ago) link

i love that website! check out this fancy table: http://machinadynamica.com/machina25.htm

it's supposed to isolate your amplifier from vibrations, "especially the 0 -10 Hz variety produced by Earth's crust movement, traffic, subways, tides, etc. "

how a spring could cancel out waves slower than 1 Hz?

elan, Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:38 (eleven years ago) link

but the best is this "teleportation tweak"
http://machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm

elan, Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:44 (eleven years ago) link

everything on there is great but I'm still standing by the Tru-Tone Duplex cover as the most balls-out

J0hn D., Sunday, 18 November 2007 01:50 (eleven years ago) link

oh wait though codename turquoise is pretty fucking rad

J0hn D., Sunday, 18 November 2007 02:00 (eleven years ago) link

Brilliant Pebbles is my favorite one on that site i think

ciderpress, Sunday, 18 November 2007 02:13 (eleven years ago) link

From cidepress' link, this was amusing:

"Where most audiophiles would agree, however, is that tweaks are a minor aspect of system building. Defined by the dictionary in Microsoft Word® as "a slight adjustment or change in..."

italics mine.

Clay, Sunday, 18 November 2007 02:20 (eleven years ago) link

http://machinadynamica.com/water.gif for brains

scott seward, Sunday, 18 November 2007 02:38 (eleven years ago) link

Somewhere, audiophile dude pushes the leather sofa away from the wall, sees four-socket outlet, shrieks.

bendy, Sunday, 18 November 2007 02:44 (eleven years ago) link

Well, these are great, but you don't have to spend a lot of money to improve sound:

http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/Free_Techniques/Free_Techniques.html

Mark Rich@rdson, Sunday, 18 November 2007 04:34 (eleven years ago) link

Holy shit the Teleportation Tweak! We are dealing with <i>balls</i> here, gentlemen. Big, round, shiny balls, of finest brass, lovingly hand-polished to a mirror shine by a taskforce of brilliant Sound Artisans. These balls can be yours for the astonishingly low price of $680 (Big Shiny Brass Balls are not subject to our 30-day money-back guarantee)

Telephone thing, Sunday, 18 November 2007 10:23 (eleven years ago) link

it doesn't actually take any courage to be a con man, is the thing. you just have to really, really hate everybody.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 18 November 2007 19:55 (eleven years ago) link

The interesting thing about these tweaks is that they abandon the pretense of scientific support. Whereas w/ feet for speaker stands in Stereophile or whatever they'll be some physicist explaining how the damping works, here's it's just like, Hey, put this magic clock in the room and it'll improve the sound. I love it.

Mark Rich@rdson, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:36 (eleven years ago) link

Sorry, maybe I'm Billy-doesn't-get-it, but is this site real or an elaborate spoof?

Matt #2, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:40 (eleven years ago) link

I had initially assumed spoof, but I followed some links and poked around and it appears to be real, or at least elaborate enough a spoof to include three or four different sites. Stereophile had an article on some of these tweaks a few years ago anyway:

http://www.stereophile.com/news/10415/

Mark Rich@rdson, Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:49 (eleven years ago) link

even if it is a spoof there's certainly enough real snake-oil products with extremely similar purposes/explanations

here's a collection of some more: http://www.ilikejam.dsl.pipex.com/audiophile.htm

ciderpress, Sunday, 18 November 2007 21:36 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

i know someone who swears by this ....
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=280182123367&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=018

zappi, Thursday, 13 December 2007 15:59 (eleven years ago) link

"extremely flat"

nabisco, Thursday, 13 December 2007 16:10 (eleven years ago) link

I don't even know what "a richer, fuller sound, with less emphasis of detail" means. it's supposed to be a good thing?

bernard snowy, Thursday, 13 December 2007 16:18 (eleven years ago) link

My latest tweak = this chair;

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Photo624.jpg

Scik Mouthy, Thursday, 13 December 2007 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

i'm actually buying a glass platter for my turntable. i might even buy that mat for it. i'm a sucka 4 luv.

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:24 (eleven years ago) link

actually the chair i'm assuming was a joke, but honestly i was suprised how much getting speaker stands and "correctly" positioning my chair i listen in and the speakers in the room made a HUGE difference in how good things sounded.

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 13 December 2007 23:39 (eleven years ago) link

The chair's totally not a joke; it's expensive and comfortable and easily moved but it's not likely to make me fall asleep in it (no headrest); if I'm comfortable and awake, I can concentrate on listening more. I bought it (almost) with the sole intention of it being a 'headphones' chair.

But yeah, basic physics says position your speakers correctly and sit in the right spot; you simply don't get stereo-imaging without it.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 14 December 2007 07:52 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://www.engadget.com/2008/03/03/audiophiles-cant-tell-the-difference-between-monster-cable-and/

...a coat hanger.

bendy, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 14:56 (eleven years ago) link

that's AMAZING.
audiophiles are some weird people, man.

ian, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 19:57 (eleven years ago) link

actually the chair i'm assuming was a joke, but honestly i was suprised how much getting speaker stands and "correctly" positioning my chair i listen in and the speakers in the room made a HUGE difference in how good things sounded.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:39 PM

totally true

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 19:58 (eleven years ago) link

actually properly treating one's room acoustically would probably do a better job than moving your chair and speakers about

electricsound, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:29 (eleven years ago) link

is there already a company selling audiophile interior house paint?

because if there is, I should start selling audiophile EXTERIOR house paint.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 22:30 (eleven years ago) link

(xpost)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cb/Dbsts2.jpg

snoball, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 23:36 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

I was much, much less impressed with this enormous fucking Naim set-up than I should have been given how much it ought to have cost. Sure it went LOUD, but sound-wise I wouldn't swap it for my own system, I don't think.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0126.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0128.jpg

Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:18 (eleven years ago) link

Is it just perspective on that first photo, or are your speakers nearly at shoulder height?

Rob M v2, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:26 (eleven years ago) link

Oh, no - is that a Cyrus CD player? Or tuner? And why isn't everything on Mana shelves? That's why it doesn't sound that good. And has it been on continuously for five years? Another biggie with Naimists. (Seriously, that doesn't look like a great room for those huge - and amazingly ugly - speakers).

What's the turntable - Nottingham Spacedek or something? Oracle Delphi?

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

mp3s out a old marantz amp someone gave me and 15 y/o bottom of the line cambridge soundworks speakers all day babay

although i did love to read sudiophile magazines when i worked at a bookstore just for the lulz

jhøshea, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:30 (eleven years ago) link

The speakers are nearly to chest height - I'm 5'8".

The Cyrus is just a DAC for his wireless streaming thing. Dunno what the turntable is. The room is big but odd; it's a loft that used to be three bedrooms. There's a (low) double bed behind the speakers, plus a desk, which is where I slept (not the desk) (although that picture was taken at 6am so sleeping wasn't exactly urgent and key that weekend).

Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:31 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, I really wish someone had just given me a peek into my co-habiting/flat in communal block/married-with-kids future when I was handing over the moolah for all my gear in 1996-97. I wish I'd just got something good/2nd-hand with a small footprint (Cyrus CD/integrated, ProAc speakers, something like that; maybe a Pro-Ject record deck, old Marantz cassette deck, NAD tuner, cables from Maplin) and STOPPED there. Think of all the photographic gear I could've bought with the money saved if I'd just contracted that particular hobbyist bug a decade earlier!

(Ah, DAC for wireless streaming; the Naim box-stacking is kinda insane - external power supplies for everything. Makes my Audiolab pre/mono arrangement look positively understated).

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:38 (eleven years ago) link

The speakers are Naim DBLs. They weigh about 15st each. Retail these days at £15k. When he got them, in 2000, they should have been £12k. He got them for £4k cos they were "shop-soiled" - the band he's in had an arrangement with Naim and they'd been using them as a playback set-up when they recorded an album in a country house, and the guitarist's dog had taken a bite out of the bottom corner of one, or something.

I'm kind of glad I've had a brush with stuff that's seriously high-end because it's warned me off a bit. Our flat's not that small, but it's a flat nonetheless, and, you know, I want stuff on the walls and holidays and a new camera and stuff maybe too.

Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:42 (eleven years ago) link

I think my main response to audiophilia these days is that the best way to make your hi-fi sound great is to play better records on it.

Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:48 (eleven years ago) link

actually properly treating one's room acoustically would probably do a better job than moving your chair and speakers about

How so?

Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 15:50 (eleven years ago) link

the best way to make your hi-fi sound great is to play better records on it.

b i n g o

Savannah Smiles, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 16:28 (eleven years ago) link

if anyone is looking for really great speakers that won't break your bank....i bought these about a year ago and couldn't be more pleased with them...they are really surprising given the price and size:

Epos ELS 3 mini monitors:

http://www.musicdirect.com/product/73457

i run them with a Cambridge Audio integrated amp w/Cambridge phono pre-amp.....

My turntable is a Rega P1 -- one thing on that i would recommend is buying a glass platter and also i replaced the original ortofon cartridge with a Denon DL 160 cartridge which is a fucking amazing cartridge for the price...

For CD player I run a really really old NAD one that I got off craigslist for $35...it works pretty well, has a hard time tracking CD-Rs but will play them after awhile (it's from 87 though so I guess there weren't even CD-Rs then)

M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 16:38 (eleven years ago) link

Post more pics of slobs in garrets seasoned with with ridiculous sound systems and ugly furniture.

Gorge, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 20:18 (eleven years ago) link

I really like the coffee table.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 20:38 (eleven years ago) link

I think my favourite way / place to listen to music these days, rather than the big sofa and NAD / Cambridge Audio / Tannoy / proper rack & stands set-up in the living room, with everything anchored in a nice triangle, blah blah, equidistant from rear walls, speakers toed in, is the hotch-potch system in the back room, with the knackered Marantz CD, 20-year-old Marantz amp, DAC, and diddy Q Acoustics speakers. Cos I have space, peace, my comfy chair, books, headphones, no TV or console to distract.

Scik Mouthy, Thursday, 8 May 2008 17:24 (eleven years ago) link

Those are the kind of speakers you buy to justify having previously bought Monster Cable.

kenan, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:31 (eleven years ago) link

What's the sensitivity rating on those things? It might be all show, but they certainly look like they could bring on an involuntary bowel movement.

kenan, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

I bought a junker deck for the express purpose of trying this but I have yet to actually do it.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 17 January 2019 18:26 (seven months ago) link

WHOA. I wonder what the removed gluesheet would sound like if you played it.

mick signals, Thursday, 17 January 2019 18:32 (seven months ago) link

seem to recall that there are some pretty scary stories re the glue method out there.
its definitely for the more adventurous record collector.

mark e, Thursday, 17 January 2019 18:35 (seven months ago) link

maybe get an anti-static gun too

brimstead, Thursday, 17 January 2019 19:05 (seven months ago) link

I've heard people irl that have done it w/success

I mean...I'd try it on a dollar bin record first

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 January 2019 19:18 (seven months ago) link

I just used Record Revirginiser for the first time (specially formulated wood glue type product) and it has made a crackly old copy of Avalon sound pretty incredible

umsworth (emsworth), Thursday, 17 January 2019 20:19 (seven months ago) link

Mr. Dumble, a man, a human in flesh
But not by law
I feed you dignity to stand with pride
Realize that all in all you stand tall
Go ahead, Mr. Dumble
Mr. Dumble, yeah
Lord, Mr. Dumble

why date Ryan Adams in the first place? (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 18 January 2019 00:54 (six months ago) link

I tried the glue thing, and the hardest part was removing the glue from the outer edge of the record - you have to make sure it's as thick there as on the grooves.

Haven't tried this, but it seems easier, ultimately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_jrJZuf5oA

eva logorrhea (bendy), Friday, 18 January 2019 13:12 (six months ago) link

I kind of want to make a video like that with a very subtle intro that ends with me blasting the heck out of some records with a pressure washer at a car wash

mh, Friday, 18 January 2019 15:17 (six months ago) link

i've had the guy at my local record store clean records with his VPI machine, i wish i had one of those

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 18 January 2019 15:32 (six months ago) link

I just took the plunge and ordered one.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 18 January 2019 15:48 (six months ago) link

Matthew McConaughey lives more casually than I had imagined

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 18 January 2019 21:41 (six months ago) link

I just took the plunge and ordered one.

― Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, January 18, 2019 9:48 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

awesome !!

enjoy all your new dirty-vinyl-toting friends :)

budo jeru, Friday, 18 January 2019 23:34 (six months ago) link

in all seriousness, a friend of mine has one of these. given the size of his collection and the amount of records he sells online, it was a solid investment and it’s been running nice n smooth for years.

budo jeru, Saturday, 19 January 2019 01:25 (six months ago) link

well I just bought a bunch of dirty country LPs from an estate sale so this time next week I'll be able to give a report.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 19 January 2019 02:56 (six months ago) link

David Allan Coe?

mick signals, Saturday, 19 January 2019 03:55 (six months ago) link

haha close enough

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 19 January 2019 04:03 (six months ago) link

WHOA. I wonder what the removed gluesheet would sound like if you played it.

the voice of satan

Bênoit Balls (stevie), Sunday, 20 January 2019 18:59 (six months ago) link

horse ghosts. with just an abominable soundstage.

maffew12, Sunday, 20 January 2019 20:31 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

I don't want to bump one of the real vinyl threads but as a self-soothing enterprise for not getting a job I bought some hifi shit and a turntable, which all works fine, but then I bought one (1) record which I evidently immediately warped before even opening it by inadvertently resting it next to a heater vent on the bus ride home. It seems to play mostly fine but I'm mildly bummed out that I've now learned that you have to be careful not to let your records get wibbly on the bus.

Anyway can I damage my turntable by playing a wibbly record on it?

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 18:10 (five months ago) link

It might have been warped already...QC at pressing plants these days is real hit & miss.

a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 8 March 2019 18:22 (five months ago) link

I think you can press it between a couple of big books and leave it in a warm place and it will de-warp, to some extent. I don't think playing a warped record can hurt your turntable at all.

DJI, Friday, 8 March 2019 18:44 (five months ago) link

thank u

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 19:07 (five months ago) link

yeah I leave 'em between two big art books on my balcony during the summer, does the trick for mildly warped LPs... of course it gets up to like 100 here. the oven is also an option but riskier... too hot and it ruins them pretty fast.

the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Friday, 8 March 2019 19:17 (five months ago) link

wikihow suggested the oven option and I was all o_O

I will try not to worry about it too hard and enjoy my new audiophile phase

anyone got any hot tips on an unguent to rub onto my speaker cables

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 19:23 (five months ago) link

you COULD pay top dollar for cable treatment if you hate having money! OR you could simply whip up a batch yourself using equal parts thermally stable machine oil (i prefer LSA's [Lubricant Specialists Australia] Heat Transfer Oil 32, which to my ears produces a more musical flow with near zero thermal cracking) and tea tree oil. if you can't stand the smell of tea tree, or if you are allergic, try neem or even lavender.

andrew m., Friday, 8 March 2019 19:38 (five months ago) link

You should be putting it on your ears, not the cable itself, otherwise you risk voiding the warranty

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 8 March 2019 19:42 (five months ago) link

Sounds like a harrowing bus ride!

maffew12, Friday, 8 March 2019 19:44 (five months ago) link

It was a 10 minute bus trip at most and I’m not convinced that exposing my record in the sleeve in a paper bag to the heat vent is the cause of this but it seems possible

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 19:48 (five months ago) link

oh the entire HiFi was a separate trip?

my phone keyboard knows to write HiFi like this.. damn, fancy

maffew12, Friday, 8 March 2019 19:49 (five months ago) link

No that came via fedex lol

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 20:03 (five months ago) link

I mean couriered from the B&H warehouse by white-gloved eunuchs

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 20:04 (five months ago) link

It might have been warped already...QC at pressing plants these days is real hit & miss.

― a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, March 8, 2019 12:22 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I suspect this is it not something you did

A record clamp might help....

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:08 (five months ago) link

I'll probably try the book thing. I'm not gonna start buying tweaks in my first week of being a hifi owner

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:15 (five months ago) link

Welcome to audiophilia, and just so you know, it's pronounced "hiffy". It's shocking how many HiFi enthusiasts get that wrong.

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:24 (five months ago) link

Covhiffy

a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 8 March 2019 23:17 (five months ago) link

one great part about a turntable is you can adjust the tracking force, antiskate, etc. and convince yourself that it sounds much better afterward

say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 8 March 2019 23:24 (five months ago) link

hiffy? isn't that the stuff that ruined DJ Shadow?

maffew12, Saturday, 9 March 2019 00:36 (five months ago) link

two months pass...

It's like bitcoin mining, except for those who want to signal the rarefied nature of their music taste.
https://ftalphaville.ft.com/2019/05/13/1557720021000/High-resolution-music-is-a-solution-looking-for-a-problem/

Free login required

campreverb, Sunday, 19 May 2019 15:41 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCOD_37DA44

budo jeru, Saturday, 6 July 2019 05:46 (one month ago) link

Looks like Blake Sleeves are what I was taught were called "J-Bags," the adhesive-flap mylar sleeves where I assumed the "J" was for "Japanese," but might not be. Anyway, if they're the same, they are indeed what the paranoids use.

^ this sounds right to me but i'm curious if anybody has any other info

budo jeru, Saturday, 6 July 2019 05:49 (one month ago) link

i'm not paranoid

budo jeru, Saturday, 6 July 2019 05:49 (one month ago) link

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

I worked in a record store for nine years, ordered every different kinda inner and outer sleeve including "Japanese rice paper inners," and have never once heard this term or seen it in a catalog. If someone said it to me I would think they meant "blank sleeve" like an all white jacket.

With an Extreme Burning (aka The Tormentor) (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 6 July 2019 08:52 (one month ago) link

a little creative googling got me here: https://www.clearbags.com/12-3-4-x-12-3-4-flap-crystal-clear-album-sleeve-protective-closure-100-pieces-blpd2.html

I fully expected to find nothing, since audiophiles are probably coming up with their own names for common household objects

mh, Saturday, 6 July 2019 14:33 (one month ago) link

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

The explanation is right in that video, no? A record collector by the name of Blake is unhappy with the oversized, cloudy plastic record sleeves you often find; has clearbags.com do a run of crystal clear, snug-fitting sleeves; the sleeves prove popular and clearbags.com decides to add them to their product line, referring to them as Blake sleeves in reference to the man who ordered the initial run. Per the video the product line has now been expanded to include sleeves with and without flaps and sized to accommodate single LPs, doubles, and 7 inches.

I can see the appeal actually. I have a lot of those loose-fitting cloudy sleeves and they're kind of annoying. I have a few sleeves that are pretty similar to what's being described here (most of my Sisters of Mercy 12"s came in them IIRC) but they all have adhesive flaps which I could do without. If I was worried about preserving my jackets I'd probably want them in in a flapless Blake.

early rejecter, Saturday, 6 July 2019 15:48 (one month ago) link

On a side note I love how he starts off with "I wanted to do a short video..." and then spends 11 minutes giving us about 37 seconds worth of information.

early rejecter, Saturday, 6 July 2019 16:05 (one month ago) link

effortlessly defining the spirit of youtube.com

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 6 July 2019 16:09 (one month ago) link

I like the crystal clear bags with the resealable flap. The loose poly bags can end up accounting for a lot of shelf space.

the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 6 July 2019 16:09 (one month ago) link

A record collector by the name of Blake is unhappy with the oversized, cloudy plastic record sleeves you often find; has clearbags.com do a run of crystal clear, snug-fitting sleeves; the sleeves prove popular and clearbags.com decides to add them to their product line, referring to them as Blake sleeves in reference to the man who ordered the initial run.

i watched the video, was aware that he kept referring to somebody called blake, but i never came to this conclusion, which makes perfect sense. thanks.

audiophiles are probably coming up with their own names for common household objects

i think what is going on is that some guy "invented" something that already exists and then had it named after himself. in my world these are called mylar sleeves or japanese archival sleeves.

the only appeal i could see would be if clear bags was selling them for dramatically less than other manufacturers -- which of course the video doesn't even come close to talking about.

budo jeru, Saturday, 6 July 2019 19:12 (one month ago) link

and i agree that they are very nice sleeves indeed

budo jeru, Saturday, 6 July 2019 19:14 (one month ago) link


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