Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

lololololol

"The very best sound was obtained when I slightly loosened the screws on the Duplex Covers. And they sound great!!.

8]

lolololol

every product on the site is like New Hope for the Ape-Eared

i love that website! check out this fancy table: http://machinadynamica.com/machina25.htm

it's supposed to isolate your amplifier from vibrations, "especially the 0 -10 Hz variety produced by Earth's crust movement, traffic, subways, tides, etc. "

how a spring could cancel out waves slower than 1 Hz?

but the best is this "teleportation tweak"
http://machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm

everything on there is great but I'm still standing by the Tru-Tone Duplex cover as the most balls-out

http://www.hometheaterhifi.com/volume_12_3/marigo-labs-signature-3d-mat-7-2005.html

oh wait though codename turquoise is pretty fucking rad

Brilliant Pebbles is my favorite one on that site i think

From cidepress' link, this was amusing:

"Where most audiophiles would agree, however, is that tweaks are a minor aspect of system building. Defined by the dictionary in Microsoft Word® as "a slight adjustment or change in..."

italics mine.

http://machinadynamica.com/water.gif for brains

Somewhere, audiophile dude pushes the leather sofa away from the wall, sees four-socket outlet, shrieks.

Well, these are great, but you don't have to spend a lot of money to improve sound:

http://www.belt.demon.co.uk/Free_Techniques/Free_Techniques.html

Holy shit the Teleportation Tweak! We are dealing with <i>balls</i> here, gentlemen. Big, round, shiny balls, of finest brass, lovingly hand-polished to a mirror shine by a taskforce of brilliant Sound Artisans. These balls can be yours for the astonishingly low price of $680 (Big Shiny Brass Balls are not subject to our 30-day money-back guarantee)

it doesn't actually take any courage to be a con man, is the thing. you just have to really, really hate everybody.

The interesting thing about these tweaks is that they abandon the pretense of scientific support. Whereas w/ feet for speaker stands in Stereophile or whatever they'll be some physicist explaining how the damping works, here's it's just like, Hey, put this magic clock in the room and it'll improve the sound. I love it.

Sorry, maybe I'm Billy-doesn't-get-it, but is this site real or an elaborate spoof?

I had initially assumed spoof, but I followed some links and poked around and it appears to be real, or at least elaborate enough a spoof to include three or four different sites. Stereophile had an article on some of these tweaks a few years ago anyway:

http://www.stereophile.com/news/10415/

even if it is a spoof there's certainly enough real snake-oil products with extremely similar purposes/explanations

here's a collection of some more: http://www.ilikejam.dsl.pipex.com/audiophile.htm

i know someone who swears by this ....
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=280182123367&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=018

"extremely flat"

I don't even know what "a richer, fuller sound, with less emphasis of detail" means. it's supposed to be a good thing?

My latest tweak = this chair;

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Photo624.jpg

i'm actually buying a glass platter for my turntable. i might even buy that mat for it. i'm a sucka 4 luv.

actually the chair i'm assuming was a joke, but honestly i was suprised how much getting speaker stands and "correctly" positioning my chair i listen in and the speakers in the room made a HUGE difference in how good things sounded.

The chair's totally not a joke; it's expensive and comfortable and easily moved but it's not likely to make me fall asleep in it (no headrest); if I'm comfortable and awake, I can concentrate on listening more. I bought it (almost) with the sole intention of it being a 'headphones' chair.

But yeah, basic physics says position your speakers correctly and sit in the right spot; you simply don't get stereo-imaging without it.

http://www.engadget.com/2008/03/03/audiophiles-cant-tell-the-difference-between-monster-cable-and/

...a coat hanger.

that's AMAZING.
audiophiles are some weird people, man.

actually the chair i'm assuming was a joke, but honestly i was suprised how much getting speaker stands and "correctly" positioning my chair i listen in and the speakers in the room made a HUGE difference in how good things sounded.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:39 PM

totally true

actually properly treating one's room acoustically would probably do a better job than moving your chair and speakers about

is there already a company selling audiophile interior house paint?

because if there is, I should start selling audiophile EXTERIOR house paint.

(xpost)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cb/Dbsts2.jpg

I was much, much less impressed with this enormous fucking Naim set-up than I should have been given how much it ought to have cost. Sure it went LOUD, but sound-wise I wouldn't swap it for my own system, I don't think.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0126.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0128.jpg

Is it just perspective on that first photo, or are your speakers nearly at shoulder height?

Oh, no - is that a Cyrus CD player? Or tuner? And why isn't everything on Mana shelves? That's why it doesn't sound that good. And has it been on continuously for five years? Another biggie with Naimists. (Seriously, that doesn't look like a great room for those huge - and amazingly ugly - speakers).

What's the turntable - Nottingham Spacedek or something? Oracle Delphi?

mp3s out a old marantz amp someone gave me and 15 y/o bottom of the line cambridge soundworks speakers all day babay

although i did love to read sudiophile magazines when i worked at a bookstore just for the lulz

The speakers are nearly to chest height - I'm 5'8".

The Cyrus is just a DAC for his wireless streaming thing. Dunno what the turntable is. The room is big but odd; it's a loft that used to be three bedrooms. There's a (low) double bed behind the speakers, plus a desk, which is where I slept (not the desk) (although that picture was taken at 6am so sleeping wasn't exactly urgent and key that weekend).

Yeah, I really wish someone had just given me a peek into my co-habiting/flat in communal block/married-with-kids future when I was handing over the moolah for all my gear in 1996-97. I wish I'd just got something good/2nd-hand with a small footprint (Cyrus CD/integrated, ProAc speakers, something like that; maybe a Pro-Ject record deck, old Marantz cassette deck, NAD tuner, cables from Maplin) and STOPPED there. Think of all the photographic gear I could've bought with the money saved if I'd just contracted that particular hobbyist bug a decade earlier!

(Ah, DAC for wireless streaming; the Naim box-stacking is kinda insane - external power supplies for everything. Makes my Audiolab pre/mono arrangement look positively understated).

The speakers are Naim DBLs. They weigh about 15st each. Retail these days at £15k. When he got them, in 2000, they should have been £12k. He got them for £4k cos they were "shop-soiled" - the band he's in had an arrangement with Naim and they'd been using them as a playback set-up when they recorded an album in a country house, and the guitarist's dog had taken a bite out of the bottom corner of one, or something.

I'm kind of glad I've had a brush with stuff that's seriously high-end because it's warned me off a bit. Our flat's not that small, but it's a flat nonetheless, and, you know, I want stuff on the walls and holidays and a new camera and stuff maybe too.

I think my main response to audiophilia these days is that the best way to make your hi-fi sound great is to play better records on it.

actually properly treating one's room acoustically would probably do a better job than moving your chair and speakers about

How so?

the best way to make your hi-fi sound great is to play better records on it.

b i n g o

if anyone is looking for really great speakers that won't break your bank....i bought these about a year ago and couldn't be more pleased with them...they are really surprising given the price and size:

Epos ELS 3 mini monitors:

http://www.musicdirect.com/product/73457

i run them with a Cambridge Audio integrated amp w/Cambridge phono pre-amp.....

My turntable is a Rega P1 -- one thing on that i would recommend is buying a glass platter and also i replaced the original ortofon cartridge with a Denon DL 160 cartridge which is a fucking amazing cartridge for the price...

For CD player I run a really really old NAD one that I got off craigslist for $35...it works pretty well, has a hard time tracking CD-Rs but will play them after awhile (it's from 87 though so I guess there weren't even CD-Rs then)

Post more pics of slobs in garrets seasoned with with ridiculous sound systems and ugly furniture.

I really like the coffee table.

I think my favourite way / place to listen to music these days, rather than the big sofa and NAD / Cambridge Audio / Tannoy / proper rack & stands set-up in the living room, with everything anchored in a nice triangle, blah blah, equidistant from rear walls, speakers toed in, is the hotch-potch system in the back room, with the knackered Marantz CD, 20-year-old Marantz amp, DAC, and diddy Q Acoustics speakers. Cos I have space, peace, my comfy chair, books, headphones, no TV or console to distract.

Those are the kind of speakers you buy to justify having previously bought Monster Cable.

What's the sensitivity rating on those things? It might be all show, but they certainly look like they could bring on an involuntary bowel movement.

I bought a junker deck for the express purpose of trying this but I have yet to actually do it.

WHOA. I wonder what the removed gluesheet would sound like if you played it.

seem to recall that there are some pretty scary stories re the glue method out there.
its definitely for the more adventurous record collector.

maybe get an anti-static gun too

I've heard people irl that have done it w/success

I mean...I'd try it on a dollar bin record first

I just used Record Revirginiser for the first time (specially formulated wood glue type product) and it has made a crackly old copy of Avalon sound pretty incredible

Mr. Dumble, a man, a human in flesh
But not by law
I feed you dignity to stand with pride
Realize that all in all you stand tall
Go ahead, Mr. Dumble
Mr. Dumble, yeah
Lord, Mr. Dumble

I tried the glue thing, and the hardest part was removing the glue from the outer edge of the record - you have to make sure it's as thick there as on the grooves.

Haven't tried this, but it seems easier, ultimately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_jrJZuf5oA

I kind of want to make a video like that with a very subtle intro that ends with me blasting the heck out of some records with a pressure washer at a car wash

i've had the guy at my local record store clean records with his VPI machine, i wish i had one of those

I just took the plunge and ordered one.

Matthew McConaughey lives more casually than I had imagined

I just took the plunge and ordered one.

― Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, January 18, 2019 9:48 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

awesome !!

enjoy all your new dirty-vinyl-toting friends :)

in all seriousness, a friend of mine has one of these. given the size of his collection and the amount of records he sells online, it was a solid investment and it’s been running nice n smooth for years.

well I just bought a bunch of dirty country LPs from an estate sale so this time next week I'll be able to give a report.

David Allan Coe?

haha close enough

WHOA. I wonder what the removed gluesheet would sound like if you played it.

the voice of satan

horse ghosts. with just an abominable soundstage.

I don't want to bump one of the real vinyl threads but as a self-soothing enterprise for not getting a job I bought some hifi shit and a turntable, which all works fine, but then I bought one (1) record which I evidently immediately warped before even opening it by inadvertently resting it next to a heater vent on the bus ride home. It seems to play mostly fine but I'm mildly bummed out that I've now learned that you have to be careful not to let your records get wibbly on the bus.

Anyway can I damage my turntable by playing a wibbly record on it?

It might have been warped already...QC at pressing plants these days is real hit & miss.

I think you can press it between a couple of big books and leave it in a warm place and it will de-warp, to some extent. I don't think playing a warped record can hurt your turntable at all.

thank u

yeah I leave 'em between two big art books on my balcony during the summer, does the trick for mildly warped LPs... of course it gets up to like 100 here. the oven is also an option but riskier... too hot and it ruins them pretty fast.

wikihow suggested the oven option and I was all o_O

I will try not to worry about it too hard and enjoy my new audiophile phase

anyone got any hot tips on an unguent to rub onto my speaker cables

you COULD pay top dollar for cable treatment if you hate having money! OR you could simply whip up a batch yourself using equal parts thermally stable machine oil (i prefer LSA's [Lubricant Specialists Australia] Heat Transfer Oil 32, which to my ears produces a more musical flow with near zero thermal cracking) and tea tree oil. if you can't stand the smell of tea tree, or if you are allergic, try neem or even lavender.

You should be putting it on your ears, not the cable itself, otherwise you risk voiding the warranty

Sounds like a harrowing bus ride!

It was a 10 minute bus trip at most and I’m not convinced that exposing my record in the sleeve in a paper bag to the heat vent is the cause of this but it seems possible

oh the entire HiFi was a separate trip?

my phone keyboard knows to write HiFi like this.. damn, fancy

No that came via fedex lol

I mean couriered from the B&H warehouse by white-gloved eunuchs

It might have been warped already...QC at pressing plants these days is real hit & miss.

― a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, March 8, 2019 12:22 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I suspect this is it not something you did

A record clamp might help....

I'll probably try the book thing. I'm not gonna start buying tweaks in my first week of being a hifi owner

Welcome to audiophilia, and just so you know, it's pronounced "hiffy". It's shocking how many HiFi enthusiasts get that wrong.

Covhiffy

one great part about a turntable is you can adjust the tracking force, antiskate, etc. and convince yourself that it sounds much better afterward

hiffy? isn't that the stuff that ruined DJ Shadow?

It's like bitcoin mining, except for those who want to signal the rarefied nature of their music taste.
https://ftalphaville.ft.com/2019/05/13/1557720021000/High-resolution-music-is-a-solution-looking-for-a-problem/

Free login required

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCOD_37DA44

Looks like Blake Sleeves are what I was taught were called "J-Bags," the adhesive-flap mylar sleeves where I assumed the "J" was for "Japanese," but might not be. Anyway, if they're the same, they are indeed what the paranoids use.

^ this sounds right to me but i'm curious if anybody has any other info

i'm not paranoid

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

I worked in a record store for nine years, ordered every different kinda inner and outer sleeve including "Japanese rice paper inners," and have never once heard this term or seen it in a catalog. If someone said it to me I would think they meant "blank sleeve" like an all white jacket.

a little creative googling got me here: https://www.clearbags.com/12-3-4-x-12-3-4-flap-crystal-clear-album-sleeve-protective-closure-100-pieces-blpd2.html

I fully expected to find nothing, since audiophiles are probably coming up with their own names for common household objects

can somebody please explain to me what a "blake sleeve" is ?

The explanation is right in that video, no? A record collector by the name of Blake is unhappy with the oversized, cloudy plastic record sleeves you often find; has clearbags.com do a run of crystal clear, snug-fitting sleeves; the sleeves prove popular and clearbags.com decides to add them to their product line, referring to them as Blake sleeves in reference to the man who ordered the initial run. Per the video the product line has now been expanded to include sleeves with and without flaps and sized to accommodate single LPs, doubles, and 7 inches.

I can see the appeal actually. I have a lot of those loose-fitting cloudy sleeves and they're kind of annoying. I have a few sleeves that are pretty similar to what's being described here (most of my Sisters of Mercy 12"s came in them IIRC) but they all have adhesive flaps which I could do without. If I was worried about preserving my jackets I'd probably want them in in a flapless Blake.

On a side note I love how he starts off with "I wanted to do a short video..." and then spends 11 minutes giving us about 37 seconds worth of information.

effortlessly defining the spirit of youtube.com

I like the crystal clear bags with the resealable flap. The loose poly bags can end up accounting for a lot of shelf space.

A record collector by the name of Blake is unhappy with the oversized, cloudy plastic record sleeves you often find; has clearbags.com do a run of crystal clear, snug-fitting sleeves; the sleeves prove popular and clearbags.com decides to add them to their product line, referring to them as Blake sleeves in reference to the man who ordered the initial run.

i watched the video, was aware that he kept referring to somebody called blake, but i never came to this conclusion, which makes perfect sense. thanks.

audiophiles are probably coming up with their own names for common household objects

i think what is going on is that some guy "invented" something that already exists and then had it named after himself. in my world these are called mylar sleeves or japanese archival sleeves.

the only appeal i could see would be if clear bags was selling them for dramatically less than other manufacturers -- which of course the video doesn't even come close to talking about.

and i agree that they are very nice sleeves indeed