We Didn't Start The Fire

All are equal in the eyes of the Lord.

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia

i like to imagine 'space monkey mafia' is one thing

I was going to split each individual thing out on a seperate line but realized NO.

so many classic lines

i like having to choose them as a lot

so hard

TO FIND A GOOD ONE

I can't take it anymore

front-runner

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex

I like how Billy understands that there's such a thing as British polician sex.

I love how there are 30 lines representing something like 15 years (1948-63), and then only 8 lines for the remaining 26 years.

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex

for rhyming those last two

xp!

yeah i voted for i can't take it anymore

jaymc, the point is that the boomers didn't start the fire, that the boomers didn't stop it is just a passing acknowledgement.

If "CHILDREN OF THALIDOMIDE!!!" was separate I'd probably vote for that

Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai

This one is kind of poignant.

as it is I'm stuck between "rock'n'roller cola wars" "dylan, berlin, bay of pigs invasion" and "JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say?!?!!"

"Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz"

so good!

but i voted for JFK with no second thought

This song should just be "Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide" 74 times in a row.

edsel is a no-go

AIDS/Crack is pretty great

Actually, I think that's a Front Line Assembly B-side. xpost to myself.

Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
may have the best rhyme, but i think i'm voting Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron

Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock

I mean, this line alone is like 1969-77 (sure, you could argue that punk started earlier, but the next line begins with Begin, who became prime minister in 1977 and is probably in there for his role at the Camp David Accords of 1978, anyway).

Chubby Checker/Psycho is great because in the real song, you hear the Hitchcock strings for a second or two and it makes the song even scarier.

It's kind of astonishing when you look at the lyrics and remember the awful awful music to which they are set.

I can't believe I've never done this at karaoke yet. I did "Modern Woman" a month ago, though!

I think we've all done modern woman.

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia

^^^^^

yeah where's the shred solo? after JFK, right?

I went for "J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say". It's cheap and lazy, like the rest of the song.

Who will be the asshole who creates the "American Pie" poll?

isn't it a keyboard solo/breakdown?

keyboards can shred dogg!

TRUE^^^^^^^

Now I wish I could vote for the guitar fill that follows "thalidomide"

x-post!

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy

i wish i had speakers at work, i would do nothing for the rest of the day except listen to this song/watch the video

Who will be the asshole who creates the "American Pie" poll?

This sounds like a dare!

British Beatlemania

The first time I heard this song was at the barber shop. I was 10 years old and thought that it was like the best thing ever. "He's just saying random stuff!"

the doubling of the "ands" in line 6 is rather awkward

I totally owned Storm Front back in elementary school

shit was deep

I wish I could change my screen name to "Space Monkey Mafia".

da croupier, it's cool. i too, once sailed the cheesy seas on the Downeaster Alexa.

"Santayana goodbye" always gave me a lol/fantasy of killing Joel.

LOVE the "Get a Life" episode where Chris Elliott is stuck upside down on rollercoaster for hours, making up new verses to this.

If I had the know-how I'd do a dub remix of the song, slowing the vocal waaaaaaaay down. The vocal is pretty monotonous so I bet it would scare small kids etc.

I wish I could change my screen name to "Space Monkey Mafia".

Sweet sugar cane, on my brain
I don't wanna, I don't wanna Go insane

Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Is this one of those "one of these things is not like the other" tests?

marilyn MONROE

Just what the world needed: MORE of this terrible song

Donald Trump's tiny hands, COVID, meth, Julian Sands

xxpost Shinzo Abe

I’m not joking

Fall out boy racking their brains for 40 seconds trying to figure out what rhymes with George Floyd before finally settling on Metroid pic.twitter.com/4WOEYYLOM0

— John Halo (@EpicMasterChief) June 28, 2023

I might have gone with something like "Bamiyan Buddhas get destroyed," seeing as how they weren't even trying to put things in sequence.

One can make up rhymes all day, the artistry (such as it is) is being choosy.

Wildfires, Lilibet, is Donald Trump in prison yet, Vladimir Zelensky, everybody's mask-free, Tina Turner, where's the beef, Ed Sheeran's not a thief. That took me far less than 40 seconds.

Tik Tok, Planet Rock, Hunter Biden, Poop Sock; Snowden, Melania, Trump has diarrhea.

Sorry, “where's the beef” is an ‘80s reference. (See, it’s harder than it looks!!)

The original covered 40 years so this one is really jumping the gun.

Ok fine morrisp, sub in "fake beef."

Low bar, easy rhymes, we'll be done in seconds time; bad song, sing along, take a hit from the bong.
No end, once again, let them ask what happens next; GPT wrote this for me, couldn't be more easy.

I did ask Chat GPT to "write a new version of We Didn't Start the Fire," and it spit this out:

Antarctica, melting ice, climate change's deadly vice,
Greta Thunberg takes the stage, rallying for a world engaged,
Pandemic strikes, COVID's reign, global lockdown, lives in pain,
Vaccines bring a glimmer of hope, but variants make us cope.

(Chorus)
We didn't start the fire, but it's burning brighter,
From crisis to crisis, in this world we're living,
Through the chaos and the pain, we'll rise again,
Together we'll ignite, a future shining bright.

(Verse 2)
Crypto rise, Bitcoin's high, blockchain changing the finance sky,
NFTs and digital art, a new era playing its part,
SpaceX launches to the stars, Mars colonization not too far,
Jeff Bezos, space tourism, a new frontier to consume.

(Chorus)
We didn't start the fire, but it's burning brighter,
From crisis to crisis, in this world we're living,
Through the chaos and the pain, we'll rise again,
Together we'll ignite, a future shining bright.

(Verse 3)
Black Lives Matter, racial fight, justice sought with all our might,
Protests for equality, breaking chains of history,
Women's rights, gender is fluid, voices rise, no longer muted,
LGBTQ+ love, acceptance, a world embracing difference.

(Chorus)
We didn't start the fire, but it's burning brighter,
From crisis to crisis, in this world we're living,
Through the chaos and the pain, we'll rise again,
Together we'll ignite, a future shining bright.

(Bridge)
Technological revolution, AI's grand evolution,
Automation, jobs at risk, reimagining our societal mix,
Renewable energy race, green solutions we embrace,
Education, innovation, building bridges for each nation.

(Verse 4)
Terror strikes, conflicts rise, seeking peace through compromise,
Refugees seeking a home, compassion shouldn't be overthrown,
Space exploration, mysteries unfold, seeking knowledge untold,
Scientific breakthroughs galore, unraveling the universe's core.

(Chorus)
We didn't start the fire, but it's burning brighter,
From crisis to crisis, in this world we're living,
Through the chaos and the pain, we'll rise again,
Together we'll ignite, a future shining bright.

(Outro)
In this ever-changing world, where challenges are hurled,
We'll face them hand in hand, united we will stand,
For the fire may keep on burning, but our spirit keeps on yearning,
To build a world that's just and free, a beacon of hope for you and me.

the flow is awful. this is such lazy songwriting. craft matters!

Deepfake, yellowcake, Bill Clinton's trousersnake

(Outro)
In this ever-changing world, where challenges are hurled,
We'll face them hand in hand, united we will stand,
For the fire may keep on burning, but our spirit keeps on yearning,
To build a world that's just and free, a beacon of hope for you and me.

someone has convinced chatgpt that every single song has to have an "outro" and, worse, it has to tie the song up in an inspirational bow, and it might be the single worst thing about the entire field of artificial intelligence.

Not enough Space Monkey Mafia randomness in those ai lyrics.

the flow is awful. this is such lazy songwriting. craft matters!

(this was about fob, not ai, in case that wasn't clear!)

I thought this, from a few years back, was a sort of clever take on the same idea (diff song, obv): https://godisinthetvzine.bandcamp.com/track/it-s-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-feel-fine-2021-version

next up, a version of this that lists all of the influencers that got cancelled between 2018-2023

I don’t even recognize some of the shit in the Fall Out Boy version. Like why is some guy from Blink 182 name checked?

AI has done the impossible. It made me respect this song.

AI didn't start the fire, Eric H

AI CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

Confirmed recently that I still know every single word to this song. You can take the girl outta Long Island etc etc.

this was shopped around to multiple bands, right?

Barenaked Ladies passed

The pitch email was redirected to Smash Mouth's spam folder.

Post Malone was approached but he hit the guy before he could finish talking

20. It’s also very funny that My Chemical Romance’s album The Black Parade is deemed worthy of inclusion on this list.

21. Not gonna lie, at least one person at Slate very nervously asked if “Black Parade” was a ham-handed reference to Black Lives Matter.

Cf. Amy Winehouse, back 2 black lives matter

Like why is some guy from Blink 182 name checked?

― Alito Bit of Soap (President Keyes), Thursday, June 29, 2023 6:33 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

because area 51

Area 51 is Billy Joel territory

Did Blink 182 play a show there?

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/26/science/tom-delonge-ufo-research.html

Oh. How did I miss this significant event from the past 30 years

Dr Disrespect is banned, "jet fuel can't melt steal beams, mannn"
Rockapella, Miles Teller
Morrow has no head

No one warned Duke Ferdinand
Humankind just learned to stand
Jesus died, people cried
Guy from Matlock's dead

Mose makes the sea divide
Cleopatra suicide
A dinosaur took a bath
somebody invented math

Moses

Is there a version of this song with only "JFK blown away" as lyrics

Perhaps not, Neanderthal, but we will always have "suckin on chili dogs."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QX57aIDbDU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GP6jDp5oN8

Okay I see that and raise you with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K4oym9Pw48

Update? It's been done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTOBvGzurxA

Seems like they missed a shot by not using something like "DeSantis Hey, Don't Say 'Gay', What Else Do I Have To Say?"

(I'm sure I just ruined my YouTube recommendation algorithm by searching for that video.)

Hideous Lump, thank you for posting this important corrective

I am sure we will all reflect on its messaging and totally change our minds now

I take it back, the revised chorus is actually quite a feat

(Chorus)
We didn't start the fire, but it's burning brighter,
From crisis to crisis, in this world we're living,
Through the chaos and the pain, we'll rise again,
Together we'll ignite, a future shining bright.

Needs a Soviet Childrens' Choir

The video to The 1975’s Love It If We Made It was already a modern-day update of this song, kinda.

FAP but not the sexy kind
yoga flame for all time
bit of fun, let's be cool
Classic or dud

Can't turn my face into a heart
Amazing Randy got his start
Bootyflakes, Snoop Shake
Have a nice blood

Hemiola Chief Keef
Vordul's got a wite kid beef