Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill

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most of his references seem a bit dated (and disagreeable!) huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4

Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile. Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it’s done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles: Were just a band.
Led Zepplin: Just a band.
The Beach Boys: Just a band.
The Sex Pistols: Just a band.
The Clash: Just a band.
Crass: Just a band.
Minor Threat: Just a band.
The Cure: Just a band.
The Smiths: Just a band.
Nirvana: Just a band.
The Pixies: Just a band.
Oasis: Just a band.
Radiohead: Just a band.
Bloc Party: Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys: Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise- kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always. Thou shalt always kill!

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 09:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Steve there's already been at least one thread on this! Keep up lad.

"Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads."

This is a really staggeringly bad lyric though, one of the all-timers.

Groke, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 09:54 (fourteen years ago) link

We've done this twice already!

braveclub, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 09:55 (fourteen years ago) link

sorry i'm not on ILM much.

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 09:57 (fourteen years ago) link

Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip: this year's Lily Allen?

StanM, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 09:58 (fourteen years ago) link

Thou shalt not pretend to be salt-of-the-earth working class activists when thy records be funded out of thy parents' trust funds.

There's a lot about Stephen Fry that is questionable. That Kingdom series for a start.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:00 (fourteen years ago) link

And if Quentin and Jasper have ever heard any Johnny Hartman in their lives then my uncle was a U-boat.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:02 (fourteen years ago) link

this is one of the worst things i've ever heard

lex pretend, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:17 (fourteen years ago) link

didn't think anything could out-irritant that baz luhrmann thing

lex pretend, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:17 (fourteen years ago) link

it's definitely more baz luhrman than than it is 'losing my edge'

never acid again, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:49 (fourteen years ago) link

with better lyrics and a less annoying voice...it would be great.

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:51 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah if you changed the lyrics and music it'd be classic

never acid again, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:55 (fourteen years ago) link

the music is fine

there were other threads on this but we're going to keep peddling it until it becomes a 300 post argument on class

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:56 (fourteen years ago) link

I think she's very good in the M&S ads and will hear nothing said against her.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:57 (fourteen years ago) link

Have enjoyed this one a lot, didn't notice previous threads either but refrained from (re)posting it last week. Been wanting to yell just a band at pretty much anyone gushing about anyone.

blunt, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:57 (fourteen years ago) link

I'd suggest a 'most disagreeable/agreeable line' poll, if there were 1000 ILMers that'd vote!

Actually, an "agreeable" poll might work.

Mark G, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 10:57 (fourteen years ago) link

Al-Qaeda: JUST A BAND!
Or were Colin and Justin too shit scared to put that line in?

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link

Bloc Party?

bendy, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link

This song is bobbins OK thx bye.

Mark G, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:07 (fourteen years ago) link

i quite like it - lyrics be damned. i heard something else by them on a rob da bank podcast that i also liked - even tho i think it was looping a radiohead sample

Alan, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:09 (fourteen years ago) link

Lex Records should sue The Lex

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:10 (fourteen years ago) link

fortunately they've never heard of him

^@^, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:13 (fourteen years ago) link

atrange mixture of very right and terribly terribly wrong, this song. How confusing.

BenTyler, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:58 (fourteen years ago) link

tstrange, not atrange, atrange clearly isn't a word.

BenTyler, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:59 (fourteen years ago) link

oh never mind :-/

BenTyler, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 11:59 (fourteen years ago) link

it was a radiohead sample. letter from god:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odfh1SNecW0

Alan, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:09 (fourteen years ago) link

They seem to have a problem with popular black music, if the last verse is anything to go by, though clearly not with Desmond Dekker or Jimi Hendrix or other safely dead icons whose names we should not take in vain even though they say not to put musicians on pedestals, however great, one verse later.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:37 (fourteen years ago) link

John Harris's single of the year, then.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:38 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm sure he'll be spinning the platter at those cosy Newsnight Review dinner parties with Julie Myersony and Germaine Greery and Paul Morleyy and that bloke who used to be in Casualtyy.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:47 (fourteen years ago) link

Do you think John Harris has ever used the term "the platters that matter"?

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:48 (fourteen years ago) link

i love it that something so self evidently self contradictory should be taken so seriously

Alan, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:52 (fourteen years ago) link

he wishes he was a punk rocker etc.

blueski, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:53 (fourteen years ago) link

she really did mean it maaaan.

Alan, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

OK, let's go there:


POLL WITHIN A THREAD:

Which is best

Sandi Thom: "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)"
Daniel Sacrington-Smythe and Scramath "Scroobius" Pipperington-Hayne: "Black People, Sort It Out"

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:55 (fourteen years ago) link

The Scroobious Pip went out one day
When the grass was green, and the sky was grey.
Then all the beasts in the world came round
When the Scroobious Pip sat down on the ground.
The cat and the dog and the kangaroo
The sheep and the cow and the guineapig too--
The wolf he howled, the horse he neighed
The little pig squeaked and the donkey brayed,
And when the lion began to roar
There never was heard such a noise before.
And every beast he stood on the tip
Of his toes to look a the Scroobious Pip.
At last they said to the Fox - "By far,
You're the wisest beast! You know you are!
Go close to Scroobious Pip and say,
Tell us all about yourself we pray-
For as yet we can't make out in the least
If you're Fish or Insect, or Bird or Beast."
The Scroobious Pip looked vaguelyy round
And sang these words with a rumbling sound-
Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;-
My only name is the Scroobious Pip.

2

The Scroobious Pip from the top of a tree
Saw the distant Jellybolee,-
And all the birds in the world came there,
Flying in crowds all through the air.
The Vulture and Eagle, the cock and the hen
The Ostrich the Turkey the Snipe and the Wren;
The Parrot chattered, the Blackbird sung
And the owl looked wise bu held his tongue,
And when the Peacock began to scream
The hullabaloo was quite extreme.
And every bird he fluttered the tip
Of his wng as he stared at the Scroobious Pip.
At last they said to the owl- "By far,
You're the wisest Bird -- you know you are!
Fly close to the Scroobious Pip and say,
Explain all about yourself we paray-
For as yet we have neither seen nor heard
If you're fish or insect, beast or bird!"
The Scroobious Pip looked gaily round
And sang these words with a chirpy sound-
Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;-
My only name is the Scroobious Pip.

3

The Scroobious Pip went into the sea
By the beautiful shore of Jellybolee-
All the fish in the world swam round
With a splashing squashy spluttering sound.
The sprat, the herring, the turbot too
The shark, the sole and the mackerel blue,
The flounder spluttered, the purpoise puffed
...............................................................
And when the whale began to spout
...............................................................
And every fish he shook the tip
Of his tail as he gazed on the Scroobious Pip
At last they said to the whale- "By far
You're the biggest Fish - you know you are!
Swim close to the Scroobious Pip and say-
Tell us all about yourself we pray!-
For to know you yourself is our only wish;
Are you beast or insect, bird or fish?"
The Scroobious Pip looked softly round
And sung these words with a liquid sound-
Pliffity Flip; Pliffety Flip;-
My only name is the Scroobious Pip.

4

The scroobious Pip sat under a tree
By the silent shores of the Jellybolee;
All the insects in all the world
About the Scroobious Pip entwirled.
Beetles and with purple eyes
Gnats and buzztilential flies-
Grasshoppers, butterflies, spiders too,
Wasps and bees and dragon-flies blue,
And when the gnats began to hum
bounced like a dismal drum,
And every insect curled the tip
Of his snout, and looked a the Scroobious Pip.
At last the said to the Ant - "By far
You're the wisest insect, you know you are!
Creep close to the Scroobious Pip and say-
Tell us all about yourself we pray,
For we can't find out, and we can't tell why-
If you're beast or fish or a bird or a fly."
The Scroobious Pip turned quickly round
And sang these words with a whistly sound
Wizzeby wip - wizzeby wip--
My only name is the Scroobious Pip.

5

Then all the beasts that walk on the ground
Danced in a circle round and round-
And all the birds that fly in the air
Flew round and round in a circle there,
And all the fish in the Jellybolee
Swum in a circle about the sea,
And all the insects that creep or go
Buzzed in a circle to and fro.
And they roared and sang and whistled and cried
Till the noise was heard from side to side-
Chippetty tip! Chippetty tip!
It's only name is the Scroobious Pip.

Alan, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 12:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Anyway, the winner is "I Want To Be A Punk Rocker" by Andy Cameron, B-side of "Ally's Tartan Army," Klub Records, 1978.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 13:01 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

LOVIN' THIS

pro-tip: sounds really good mixed with DA FUNK

The Macallan 18 Year, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link

BAN THE MACALLAN 18 YEAR

Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 27 June 2007 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link

jesus. wasn't this just the "agadoo" of 2007?

grimly fiendish, Thursday, 28 June 2007 09:33 (fourteen years ago) link

that good?

Mark G, Thursday, 28 June 2007 10:00 (fourteen years ago) link

Great! What instruments would you like us to break?

Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 28 June 2007 10:24 (fourteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

One of these twats was in the Metro today saying that Sage Francis "opened his mind to what hip-hop can be" and also that he thinks punk was better in the north because "it connected directly to the working class". Twat twat twat.

jim, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 18:10 (thirteen years ago) link

i quite like this *ducks*, although yeah, if you pick it apart and then have it rammed down yr throat when you're not in the mood i can see why you wouldn't like it.

the next grozart, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 18:19 (thirteen years ago) link

pro-tip: sounds really good mixed with DA FUNK

was this a joke

Preview of the Matrix 12, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link

One of these twats was in the Metro today saying that Sage Francis "opened his mind to what hip-hop can be" and also that he thinks punk was better in the north because "it connected directly to the working class". Twat twat twat.

-- jim, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 18:10

^^^ Read this, IRL lolled on the train this morning.

Bodrick III, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 18:22 (thirteen years ago) link

one year passes...

these cunts are actually getting worse:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEitrZU-nCw

DJ Get Up Kids (jim in glasgow), Wednesday, 24 February 2010 00:29 (eleven years ago) link

I stopped at 1:33, he really makes me angry. Almost as angry as when someone told me I look like him.

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 24 February 2010 01:09 (eleven years ago) link

yeah i srsly can't deal with him

ianmaxwell, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 01:15 (eleven years ago) link

eleven years pass...

now now behave

am I hallucinating or was/is one of that pair Louis Jagger out of ILxor?

— DJ Punctum (@DPunctum) September 10, 2021

just sayin, Friday, 10 September 2021 09:49 (one week ago) link

ban le jag

siffleur’s mom (wins), Friday, 10 September 2021 10:59 (one week ago) link

I like this song a lot. I’m a sucker for novelty songs. Do they really pronounce it “PEE-dophile” in the UK?

Mr. Snrub, Saturday, 11 September 2021 01:18 (one week ago) link

Yes they do.

nate woolls, Saturday, 11 September 2021 02:09 (one week ago) link


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