A Rockists Guide To Rap

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Okay, like it or not, rap is here to stay. Actually its already dead and gone, but it did make a significant enough scratch on the music industry machinery to cause it to be mentioned in any serious overview of Rockist Fundamentalism.

So the question is, why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock and what are some examples of quality Rap?

After extensive research (that included wearing baggy pants and my ballcap cocked sideways while purchasing a little bling-bling on da street corner in da hood) ole Wagemann here has come up with 6 rap/hip hop artists who matter enough to make the list of 1000 most important Rockists artists of the last 20 years, and a full 13 essential albums that a Rockist must know in order to better understand Rap/HipHops influence on Rockism.

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:13 (fourteen years ago) link

well? YOU CAN'T HOOK US LIKE THAT AND THEN JUST LEAVE US HANGING, PAUL

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link

I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES

electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:16 (fourteen years ago) link

(I am not even going to bother doing the "quote a ridiculous sentence or phrase thirty times in a row" thing, mostly because I can't decide which one to go for)

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:17 (fourteen years ago) link

I for one support Wagemann's presence, just because he makes newish people like myself seem a little better.

He lifts all of us up higher. He's the Great Elevator.

Zachary Scott (Zach S), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:20 (fourteen years ago) link

A rising tide of shit lifts all boats.

Wouldn't it be great if this thread were locked before he got started?

The Bearnaise-Stain Bears (Rock Hardy), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Lockist!

mark 0 (mark 0), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:23 (fourteen years ago) link

http://graffitishop.cz/data/P2270110.jpg

mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Rap is Dead is the new Rock is Dead.

It's the lazy and immoral way to become super hip. (Austin, Still), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:29 (fourteen years ago) link

HEY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Rock Aint Dead!!!

You're Dead...

For my list of 6 Rap/hiphop artists and 13 essential albums tune in to my next blog entry, due out sometime in October. I try to only post blogs once a month...otherwise folks will get too high of an expectation of me, and quite frankly, that makes me edgy.

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:32 (fourteen years ago) link

PAUL,

WHAT ARE THE FOUR ELEMENTS OF ROCKISM?

mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:32 (fourteen years ago) link

bait is great

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:34 (fourteen years ago) link

I imagine Mr. Wagemann as an alchemist.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:34 (fourteen years ago) link

"so two rockists rock into a bar..."

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:34 (fourteen years ago) link

WHAT ARE THE FOUR ELEMENTS OF ROCKISM

Seriously? Give me a second, I'll go check wikipeida and get back to you...
*wagemann shuffles off to change his socks with anticipation that this could get ugly...

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:35 (fourteen years ago) link

the slow excelsior day is about to end :-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-):-) :-)

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:36 (fourteen years ago) link

A hennist's guide to fap

Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:37 (fourteen years ago) link

1. 2 Pac: All Eyez On Me
2. Outkast: Speakerboxx/The Love Below
3. Snoop Dogg: Doggystyle
4. 2 Pac: Me Against The World
5. Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy: Hypocricy Is The Greatest Luxury
6. Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP
7. Dr. Dre: The Chronic
8. Arrested Development: Three Years, Five Months And Two Days....
9. Outkast: Stankonia
10.De La Soul: 3 Feet High And Rising

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), September 22nd, 2006. (later)

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, youre a real giver pappa Zit...let me ask you why is there no Ice-T, Beastie Boys, Run-DMC on that list?

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Step 1) paperism covers rockism
Step 2) scissorism cuts paperism
Step 3) rockism crushes scissorism -- pwn'd!!!

King-a-Ling (King-a-Ling), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:42 (fourteen years ago) link

1. Ant Rap
2. Wham! Rap
3. Rappin' Rodney
4. Mel Broooks-It's Good to be the King
5. ...

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:43 (fourteen years ago) link

4) dynamitism blows up rockism, paperism, scissorism, and mercury prizeism

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:44 (fourteen years ago) link

anyone want to get a last word in before i lock this bullshit?

electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Sucker MCs should call me "sire".

mark 0 (mark 0), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:47 (fourteen years ago) link

my missy e's
make rockists freeze

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link

delete thread

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link

delete board

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link

delete internet

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Parminedes was wrong!

King-a-Ling (King-a-Ling), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link

but seriously, didn't we decide a long time ago that posting the same info to various boards, sites and blogs is a ban-worthy offense?

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, youre a real giver pappa Zit...let me ask you why is there no Ice-T, Beastie Boys, Run-DMC on that list?

You do understand cut-and-paste, right? You accused all of the knowledge I've offered in your presence as having been a product of cut and paste before, so you should understand it.

I took the king of ILM rockists (melodyist?), and pasted his rap list for others, in the spirit of the thread of course.

Search POX: Hip-Hop albums to see what we've all already chosen...

Paul, always remember, you are loveable and capable.

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

goddamn, countdown to trackback record

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Okay, like it or not, rap is here to stay. Actually its already dead and gone, but it did make a significant enough scratch on the music industry machinery to cause it to be mentioned in any serious overview of Rockist Fundamentalism.

So the question is, why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock and what are some examples of quality Rap?

After extensive research (that included wearing baggy pants and my ballcap cocked sideways while purchasing a little bling-bling on da street corner in da hood) ole Wagemann here has come up with 6 rap/hip hop artists who matter enough to make the list of 1000 most important Rockists artists of the last 20 years, and a full 13 essential albums that a Rockist must know in order to better understand Rap/HipHops influence on Rockism.BAN LOUIS JAGGER

-- Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWageman...), September 29th, 2006. (PaulEdwardWagemann) (1 trackback) (later)

Fixed.

Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Can you at least explain why you would lock this?
This is fun, is it against the law for the internet to be fun nowdays?
is that what our society has come to?
I mean Damn! I jsut feel like goin out and bustin a cap in some mofo's ass right a sha-nizzle...

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:51 (fourteen years ago) link

probably because
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock
why does Rap matter, what has it contributed to Rock

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Paul Edward Wagemann

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Louis's status has improved with our new residents...

(and with the x-post comes new evidence)

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:52 (fourteen years ago) link

so uh, best thread ever amirite?

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Paul, It is not fun. It is boring and stupid. ILX decided as a group that discussing or even using the term "rockism" is an action worthy of stoning at least 2 or 3 years ago. Nobody wants this but you. So why are you sharing it with others?

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:55 (fourteen years ago) link

b-b-but dan, look at pew's "blog"...rockism has been reclaimed

(ps...blog = myspace)

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 00:56 (fourteen years ago) link

please kill me if I ever look at his myspace page.

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 29 September 2006 00:58 (fourteen years ago) link

Mr. Que's photobucket account to thread

PappaWheelie puts out again and gives up again and puts out again and gives (Pap, Friday, 29 September 2006 01:00 (fourteen years ago) link

I am a Rockist. I had no idea that ILX did that--unless you are pulling my leg. But I find it very offensive that so many people have such a closed mind about my Rockists beliefs.
I mean maybe Rockism was a bit goofy back in the 80s, but Christ that was 20 some years ago. Things change, ideas evolve, wives leave you and stick you up the patootie with an allemony debt the size of a Rock Hudson hemmeroid. What I'm saying is that if you love Rock, if you love everything that is at the core of Rock, everything about it that shook this nation, that tore the fabric of our society wide open and caused grown men to consider using hair styling products, then for God's sake brutha, give a listen to what ole wagemann is a-sayin...This isnt your father's Rockism anymore...

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 01:01 (fourteen years ago) link

Peeling you off my shoe and throwing you in the trash can would be far too dignified.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 September 2006 01:02 (fourteen years ago) link

IM IN UR RAP, CONTRIBUTIN TO UR ROCK

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 01:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Did I hear someone say "Mr. Que to thread"?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v481/turtle777/attention_whore.jpg
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http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d91/wirldwyde/attention_whore.jpg

Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 29 September 2006 01:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Wait - this has all been about Rock Hudsonism?

It's the lazy and immoral way to become super hip. (Austin, Still), Friday, 29 September 2006 01:05 (fourteen years ago) link

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a61/npope3001/blassie1.jpg

capt thinking (Pablo A), Friday, 29 September 2006 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Is that actually PEW in that gif with Louis Jagger?

I keep trying to ignore these threads but can't stop myself from clicking... the mindboggling stupidity is quite compelling.

xpost awh I miss piggy

Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 29 September 2006 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link

capt thinking, soo got damn OTM

I made the marchant/wagamuffin comparison on another thread too

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 14:53 (fourteen years ago) link

(the difference is, marchant's team members were all in her head, which made it disturbing on some level)

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 14:53 (fourteen years ago) link

"More than jagger, squirrel, and maybe even the great hongro himself"

to be fair, these other three all have their idiosyncrasies but none of 'em are really trolls like this uh, horse's patootie (why is he so in love with that word...? very weird). Geir SP and Jagger are at least genuinely interested in dialogue and ideas and stuff.

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:00 (fourteen years ago) link

i think he's gone

Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:02 (fourteen years ago) link

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You searched for paul edward wagemann [Index]

No results found. For help on searching, please see Wikipedia:Searching.

How is this possible?

rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

it seems like we can't decide if he should be banned or if we should just sit back and enjoy the LOLs... at least he's not like that dude who posted endless threads about what pop starlet fuck fantasies...

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:05 (fourteen years ago) link

i think he's gone

http://macarabia.net/forum/userpix/19_man_laughing_at_you_lg_nwm_1.gif

mark 0 (mark 0), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Calling Squirrel Police idiosyncratic is like selling cars from the junkyard as "gently used"

(x-post, you obv haven't rammed horns with the great wagamuffin enough to witness his patterns yet)

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link

i sort of wanted to play devil's advocate and agree with wagemann's proposition b/c i was bored... but i can't really find one. i don't know what he's advocating, other than his weird list for his montly-updated blog.

max (maxreax), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:35 (fourteen years ago) link

obviously his thesis is that rockists don't properly "understand Rap/HipHops influence on Rockism"

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link

YOU GOTTA KNOW WHERE YA COME FROM BEFORE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHERE YA ARE

bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Friday, 29 September 2006 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link

haha it is amazing that notwithstanding/despite/because of his misunderstanding of the term, pew has decided that not only is "rockism" a stable, agreed-upon category within some unspecified classification system - he has decided to be FOR it!

Can someone explain to the Cat who I'm quoting above, how the enlgish language is an evolving entity...and I dont like the way the word 'Rock' has been hi-jacked by the Popcicle Popologists and used an and ISM. Am I the only one outraged that these Pop fairy's are besmirching our sacred Rock? Rock once stood for something dammit! It was more than music it was both the manifestation and the motivation of an ethos. A honest, working-class, lets get stoned on our lunch break and get shit-faced and chase titties in our Camero on weekends ETHIC!
Well, sure those times are gone. But at its best Rock was universal. It touched something inside of people, and it still does today--and I have set out to reclaim all that is good about Rock and turn the derogatory term 'rockism' back onto these popist snobs (like the blacks turned the degoratory term niggger around, like 'punks' turned the term punk around and like faggots...well, faggots never quite succeeded, but dag gummit at least they tried!!!)
So can somebody please explain that to this guy I quoted. Explain to them that ole Wagemann here isnt a mindless automaton who goes along with wahtever the popular trends and political correctness police tell him he's supposed to go along with. Old Wagemann is inspired by Richard Pryor (who comes from peoria, just across the river from my hometown) and plays by his own rules, speaks his own language, and who, sure, will have sex with a heavy set woman every so often--is that so wrong?

Long Live Rock!
God Bless America!
Seacrest Out!

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Shit. I guess I stand corrected.

Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:21 (fourteen years ago) link

Where you from, PEW? Pekin? Metamora?

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:23 (fourteen years ago) link

jaymc
Pekin is were I was born and went to high school...I lived in marquette hieght from the age of ten to 18 though...
From 18 to 23 I lived all over the place, mostly Macomb, IL where I got a Bach Degree, then I moved to Chicago and have lived there every since.
I take it you are from central illinois as well?

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:27 (fourteen years ago) link

I liked PEW a lot better back when he seemed scrappy and serious. Now he knows he's in the limelight, so he lets on a bit too much with the fakery. It's like the difference between watching the original Ali G stuff and watching that talk show he did later, where he'd interview celebrities who knew he was in character.

nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost I have extended family there. I'm in Chicago.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost He was serious and scrappy once?

Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Klusterf#@k is a typical hipster wannabe...30 something year old men who still cling desperately to their high school standards are annoying...

-- Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWageman...), September 26th, 2006. (later)

http://www.myspace.com/paulewagemann
38, chicago, likes big boobs

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:54 (fourteen years ago) link

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times.
“But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have... you know... sex?”

The answer is an emphatic and resounding yes! And why shouldn’t they? They’re people, too. What most people don’t know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year. Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you’d be blue, too. Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite the weather-Smurf’s direst predictions. I guess good ol’ Mr. Sun is a voyeur. In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village and warned all the Smurfs about AIDS.

Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Paul, what do you think about abortion?

Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:03 (fourteen years ago) link

or absorption, like say, when one song does something a little different, then gets absorbed into the genre afterwards for decades...

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I got a Bach Degree

Hey, didn't you say (repeatedly) you were a rockist? Why listen to Bach then?

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link

big boobs won't return my emails.

M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link

sebastian bach degree

check mod request re: big boobs

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:11 (fourteen years ago) link

or absorption, like say, when one song does something a little different, then gets absorbed into the genre afterwards for decades...

This is an interesting question actually...were you being serious or is this some kind of ILX-inside joke that old wagemann aint privy to?

Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh, yeah, sorry, this is an inside ILM joke. You can get up to speed by checking this thread:

what bands did 60s rockers used to listen to?

PappaWheelie burried Paul. The clues are there man! (PappaWheelie 2), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:15 (fourteen years ago) link

WHY HAVENT WE BANNED THIS FUCKER YET

boo berry (dubplatestyle), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:44 (fourteen years ago) link

EVERY ONE OF THIS TURD'S THREADS DELETED ON SIGHT FROM HERE ON OUT

boo berry (dubplatestyle), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:45 (fourteen years ago) link

two years pass...

10/10 CSS on this thread

Ringtone bisexual bible shower (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Sunday, 15 February 2009 21:50 (twelve years ago) link

Rock Aint Dead!!!

You're Dead...

― Paul Edward Wagemann (PaulEdwardWagemann)

velko, Sunday, 15 February 2009 22:28 (twelve years ago) link

This could have been the Rockist rolling rap thread.

But it wasn't.

Mark G, Monday, 16 February 2009 10:33 (twelve years ago) link

two years pass...

DO NOT ACCEPT PMs/MYSPACE REQUESTS FROM PAUL EDWARD WAGEMANN. HE HAS A HISTORY OF SENDING EXPLICIT CHILD PORNOGRAPHY TO OTHER MEMBERS.

buzza, Thursday, 20 October 2011 04:26 (nine years ago) link

wtf @ that revive!

the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 20 October 2011 22:06 (nine years ago) link

aw, it looks like PEW isn't pretending to be dead anymore. for the record, this was his original post:

Ed Wagemann passed away at the age of 43, leaving two young children behind, a boy who was five and a daughter who was 3. I was given the task of going through his personal belongings, some books and photo albums, some clothes. Ed did not have much in the form of material items, what he did have mostly were toys, clothes, stuffed animals, learning tools and board games for his kids. He did leave behind a laptop computer however.

I gathered his belongings, organized them and gave them away to friends and family. It took me weeks to get rid of everything. Everything except his laptop. Initially I tried to get onto his laptop and see what he had there, but I did not have his password. So I left it with a computer doctor and asked him to retrieve any files that he could. That was a few weeks ago. Then last week I get a call from the computer doctor. He transferred many files for me and I began going through them. What I found was nothing short of amazing. Ed had dozens of short stories and a half dozen novels he had written over the last 15 years. Only one of the stories had been published, back in 1997, and it won a Gold Circle award.

So for the last week as I'm reading Ed's amazing body of work I couldn't help but think that this stuff really needs to be shared with the rest of the literary community. Which is why I am here. I will be publishing a number of Ed's stories here over the next few weeks. The first one I published was written in 2002 as far as I can tell. It is called the girl with the crooked teeth. I hope you all enjoy it.

axolotl rose (unregistered), Monday, 24 October 2011 21:15 (nine years ago) link

two years pass...

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17858881-the-panty-thief-of-bridgeport

The Panty Thief of Bridgeport
by Ed Wagemann (Goodreads Author)
4.14 of 5 stars 7 ratings · 4 reviews

Its springtime in Chicago 1995 and someone has been prowling the working class/southside neighborhood of Bridgeport stealing women's panties. Jack Squat, a 20 something with a mysterious mechanism that is biorythmically integrated into his very spine has been gliding cautiously through his inner city life until he falls in love and has his heart broken by a beautiful ad executive named Samantha. When his 'mechanism' malfunctions at the worst possible time, Jack is forced to engage in a battle against this mysterious biological system of pulleys and levers that dwells within the depths of his own marrow. In the complex emotional game of cat and mouse that ensues it becomes obvious that what is at stake here is not only Jack's sense of self-worth, but his very soul.

when skrillex just stood there (unregistered), Monday, 23 December 2013 01:24 (seven years ago) link

Woah

the whirlwind labeouf, i inhale it (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 23 December 2013 01:27 (seven years ago) link

panty phoenix

CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Monday, 23 December 2013 02:13 (seven years ago) link

A discussion started by "Jack," who gave the novel 5 stars:

Is Panty Thief of Bridgeport the first in the new genre of Dick Lit? Or has there been other Dick Lit novels that have come before this one?
If there are other Dick Lit novels, then can you name them???

JoeStork, Monday, 23 December 2013 02:31 (seven years ago) link

seven years pass...

Eminem, who famously became a wiggah due to never having had a father while growing up,

Left, Friday, 30 April 2021 14:29 (one week ago) link

well now it's been deleted i just sound racist

Left, Friday, 30 April 2021 14:30 (one week ago) link

I'm sure a kindly mod would delete your post if you want

rob, Friday, 30 April 2021 14:33 (one week ago) link

locking this entire thread also not a bad idea imo

rob, Friday, 30 April 2021 14:36 (one week ago) link

deleting this entire thread also not a bad idea

Filibuster Poindexter (Neanderthal), Friday, 30 April 2021 15:04 (one week ago) link

Yeah, just scanning through this and I think a locking is in order. I kind of like being able to look back at trolls of yore so unless there's a big cry for deletion I'll leave it here but locked.

emil.y, Friday, 30 April 2021 15:09 (one week ago) link


This thread has been locked by an administrator

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