pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

There is an egregious grammar mistake in the first paragraph of that Kanye review.

Actually there are two (though one may be better classified as "incorrect use of idiom" rather than "incorrect grammar")

lmao at the description of the choir, which really comes across like the author has never actually heard a choir before

The author also likes putting ideas in opposition that actually reinforce each other

For someone who built his earliest songs out of extracting vocal loops from obscure, sometimes decades-old songs, Kanye has seen the way musicians can be resurrected and given new life.

this sentence hurts my brain

It's SO BAD

I wonder if they considered even for a moment just not reviewing this.

(yes, I know the real answer.)

Or at least giving it to someone who knows what a choir is and therefore wouldn't write The Sunday Service Choir as a whole also seems to be taking cues from groups with no real lead singer like the Fisk Jubilee Singers, the Dixie Hummingbirds, and the Blind Boys of Alabama as if it was searing insight.

"On this album, the choir... performs as a choir." /galaxy brain

I graded too many student papers recently to read more than a paragraph of this. Or at any rate, the opening of the second one made me genuinely sad.

"he fuses two seemingly disparate venues: the club and the church."

wow, very cool to see someone fusing gospel influences into secular R&B and hip hop - very innovative, never heard of that before

rare audio of kanye rehearsing before his eye surgery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uTDa3771HM

you know what would be dope is if Kanye invents a new form of hip hop based on jazz samples, and maybe I dunno has like Ron Carter or Donald Byrd do some jams, just spitballing here

biddy biddy bop, funky funky

As is the case with many creative types, West has described himself as an artist with synesthesia

many creative types

architects and clowns for instance

That sentence

↓

OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

xp

the creative types at pitchfork suffer from an ever rarer form of synesthesia where they feel compelled to translate audio into incomprehensible sequences of words

I understand the rhetorical conceit of introducing the concept of synesthesia and then using it to describe the music but... it's not particularly helpful

you guys are making me want to read Pitchfork again

ok not really but

I understand the rhetorical conceit of introducing the concept of synesthesia and then using it to describe the music

what color is "bad"

olive-brown with bright orange and puce flecks

Red because when we are angry our face will be change in red colour.

See also: gammons.

I know that complaining about October is beyond the scope of this thread — but this is currently promoted on Pfork’s home page, and it’s sooooo dumb: https://oct.co/articles/5-types-craft-beer-drinker

oof. that's kinda fascinating for the existential crisis it raises - maybe there's just not enough meaningful content about beer to have a whole website devoted to it.

A first-day Buzzfeed intern would be embarrassed to hit publish on that.

Most of us remember that it doesn't really matter what you're drinking, as long as you're enjoying it.

Oh good, there was an utterly banal point to all this.

I like how one of the knocks on the stout enthusiast is basically that he’s fat.

I resemble that remark

Is this... “humor”?

https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/22-musical-predictions-for-the-2020s/

it sure tries

Apparently: https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/tags/humor/

A seldom-used tag, but gold every time

losing my mind thinking about the person on halsey’s team who had to tell her she just called for the collapse of one world trade https://t.co/eJJmK0KyQ7

— ben kesslen (@benkesslen) January 23, 2020

That explains the lingering influence of artists once written off as angry women: Shania Twain, Alanis Morissette, and pre-acrobatics P!nk.

Ex-squeeze me(?) Shania, an "angry woman"?

This review is hilarious

Though Manic features Halsey’s take on a handful of different genres—broody pop-R&B reminiscent of her early work; alt-rock-lite that is an aesthetic match to her persona; twangy country-pop sure to find a home on certain segments of pop radio—much of it has the same reflective surface and, at some points, the depth of an oil slick. The Morissette collab “Alanis’ Interlude,” which features a reference to John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” is almost too irritating to endure: “Your pussy is a wonderland,” the pair warbles, infinitely more times than necessary. It is a low point for someone who is at times a clever songwriter.

There's so much shade in this paragraph that I keep finding albinos under it

There's so much shade in this paragraph that I keep finding albinos under it

Wow <3

The "miserable Lyft ride" dig at Halsey reminded me of this Matty Perps tweet.

Can we give this stuff a more specific genre name, like Ubercore, since it's the music you always seem to hear in a ride share https://t.co/Us03SdPTZA

— Matthew Perpetua (@perpetua) December 31, 2019

wow another strike for twitter embeds

ILM got there first

I typically like their 6.5's better than their BNMs so maybe the Halsey is for me.

pick me up at 6

btw "Alanis' Interlude" is hilarious

I'm listening to the entire Halsey album and so far its biggest sin is... it sounds like all the other music Halsey has released?

Halsey IS...Halsey.

she's certainly the most successful version of the "bananees" and "avocadees" indie-girl voice, correct?

what?

from this: https://youtu.be/8SU0gFPMwP8