pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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Donald
Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork
Mon Apr 1 07:08:25 2002
63.167.209.146

I'm not going to spew any elitist bullshit, but Alanis Morrissette, Kylie Minogue? Oh my fucking God. I'll stay for a little while to see if P-Fork still serves my needs, but with today's front page, I'm not counting on it. I understand the career move, but I just don't think it's going to serve me any more.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

stu Re: Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork Mon Apr 1 07:41:08 2002 65.92.243.96

I wonder if it's going to serve anyone's needs. I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue. To my knowledge, no one actually hunts down information about such artists. People just hear about it on tv and that's it. Let's give Pitchfork a few months, until the corporate contributors pull the plug.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I am very disappointed. Could they have made it any more obvious? COME ON, PEOPLE.

David Raposa, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

What makes me think that things will be back to normal by tomorrow? ;)

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know Sean... it would be April 2nd, which would make it one day after...

Andy K, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

You scalawags, you make me laff. Perhaps.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Speaking of which, HEY NED! My Bloody Valentine are finally releasing their new album!

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"i for one will not be returning to this site if you're seriously going to be reviewing alanis. like i can't read that shit everywhere and anywhere? the reason i had pitchfork as my home page was because i could actually find out about the shit i care about. i'm glad you can pay your rent now, it's too bad that you sold out your millions of readers for britney fans in body glitter to do it."

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

pitchfork as your homepage, classic or dud?

the first thing i thought (after, well, this is no all cure all the time) was that i wished they really had "sold out" (what the fuck, is this 93?), because maybe it would mean LESS GODDAMN PROG.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

he's calling you out, leone. FITE!

Todd Burns, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I think I'd rather read about Alanis and Kylie than most of the stuff they normally review.

Sean, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Their funniest joke came months ago.

Nicole, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is...

mr. sparkle, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Makes sense, really.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is... huh???

Brock K., Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

LESS GODDAMN PROG

So, does that mean we'll write about the next Radiohead album, or not?

dleone, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

And that Flaming Lips thing actually is true. I think.

powertonevolume, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hein? Is the joke that Pitchfork reviewed some pop musik?? Even their KYLIE review was as dull as www.defra.gov.uk/farm/sustain/default.htm ARRRGHHHHHHHHH!! Then again Pitchfork = dull is a big shocker along the lines of Nelson in COLUMN!!!!!! shocker.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

'On' column? 'HAS' column?! I can see him from my bladdy window but does that help my BRANE I think NICHT.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Dom, how much of the Kylie review was farce? "The song exudes a catchiness that belies its inherent simplicity, so reassuring during an era when chart acts sound increasingly baroque and producers race to see who can ape electronic music trends first" sounds at least semi-serious.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

five years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

wrt fishbone

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fishbone#Film_and_television_appearances

John Cusack wears a Fishbone shirt in the film Say Anything.... (In that movie's iconic "boombox" scene, Cusack is actually blasting Fishbone from the radio. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" was added later).

i actually did not know this til now

cool little trivia

i n f i n i t y (∞), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 15:51 (two months ago) Permalink

oh damn

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 15:55 (two months ago) Permalink

I wonder what song

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 16:04 (two months ago) Permalink

Fishbone would do a great cover of "In Your Eyes" tbh

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 16:04 (two months ago) Permalink

Probably Voyage to the Land of the Freeze-Dried Godzilla Farts.

Fishbone (the song from the soundtrack) plays during a party scene. Fish plays drums on "Taste the Pain," the RHCP song that's in the movie. (Kiedis was dating Skye, iirc.)

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:15 (two months ago) Permalink

I am dying thinking of this song playing during that scene:

https://youtu.be/1OuiuolN1r4

PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:23 (two months ago) Permalink

lol

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:46 (two months ago) Permalink

actually this may have been funnier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78ZVbw74OhU

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:47 (two months ago) Permalink

ahahahahahahaha A+

PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:49 (two months ago) Permalink

lolz
brb starting a ska punk band called Ione Ska

tylerw, Wednesday, 24 May 2017 18:59 (two months ago) Permalink

OK, apparently

A) Sublime With Rome covered this song on their last album
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv2M5eV8ufY

B) The drummer from Sublime left the band in 2011 and this is Josh Freese

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv2M5eV8ufY

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 19:04 (two months ago) Permalink

I dunno where I heard or read this, but I thought it was originally "Party At Ground Zero."

billstevejim, Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:06 (two months ago) Permalink

I can't say if it it would have made it a better scene, but definitely seems more accurate for an 18 year old
in late Eighties Seattle than Peter Gabriel

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:21 (two months ago) Permalink

Odd how the character in the film loves a song that wasn't a hit on first release and she might not have heard but as a result of its exposure in this movie it becomes better known.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:24 (two months ago) Permalink

From Vanity Fair

The Peter Gabriel boom-box scene is obviously the moment of the film, but that’s not the song that was playing on set when Cusack shot it. Do you think the scene would have been any different if you had the actual song playing?

Absolutely. It was completely different with the song John Cusack was playing when we filmed. What he’s actually playing is Fishbone’s “Bonin’ in the Boneyard.” John was a big Fishbone fan and turned us all onto the band. But when we watched the scene as filmed, with that tune playing outside Diane Court’s window, the effect wasn’t particularly romantic or yearning. It was: “Hey girl, I love Fishbone and I’m not going to let you sleep.”

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:25 (two months ago) Permalink

that suits cusacks personality tho

he always seemed like a cool asshole even in say anything w the whole punching bag thing (then later in hi fidelity)

i n f i n i t y (∞), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:28 (two months ago) Permalink

Also, in my research for this very important post, I would that Smithereens hit "A Girl Like You" was actually written to be the theme of the movie ("I'll say anything, you want to hear...") but it turned out not so

Pat DiNizio from Smithereens: “‘A Girl Like You’ was initially a ‘work for hire’, written for the film Say Anything. Writer/director Cameron Crowe (Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Singles) gave me a copy of the screenplay and a VHS work print of the ‘film-in-progress’ for me to work with. I interpreted the best bits of dialogue between the main characters and told the story of the movie lyrically, but I was careful to write a set of lyrics that stood on their own, that told a story independent of the film as well.”

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:29 (two months ago) Permalink

This dude's life was something else [via wiki]

When Rolling Stone moved its offices from the West Coast to New York in 1977, Crowe decided to stay behind. He also felt the excitement of his career was beginning to wane....

At the age of 22, Crowe came up with the idea to pose undercover as a high school student and write about his experiences. Simon & Schuster gave him a contract, and he moved back in with his parents and enrolled as Dave Cameron at Clairemont High School in San Diego. Reliving the senior year he never had, he made friends and began to fit in. Though he initially planned to include himself in the book, he realized that it would jeopardize his ability to capture the true essence of the high school experience.

His book, Fast Times at Ridgemont High: A True Story, came out in 1981.

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:31 (two months ago) Permalink

Dave Cameron

mark s, Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:33 (two months ago) Permalink

I was so bald at 22, my attempt to do this would have been straight

http://skateandannoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/fellowkids-480x273.jpg

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 24 May 2017 21:34 (two months ago) Permalink

lmao

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 25 May 2017 17:27 (two months ago) Permalink

sorry I haven't trusted their tshirt lists since I spent an awkward summer trying to rock constantines and Clearlake shirts

nomar, Thursday, 25 May 2017 17:31 (two months ago) Permalink

lol

Karl Malone, Thursday, 25 May 2017 17:34 (two months ago) Permalink

ilm eoy shirt list usually more otm, except that year a sock won

President Keyes, Thursday, 25 May 2017 17:38 (two months ago) Permalink

lmao nomar

Spottie, Thursday, 25 May 2017 17:55 (two months ago) Permalink

Beyoncé T-shirts are $35?

grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 25 May 2017 18:11 (two months ago) Permalink

great synergy with the Peaks ad

http://i.imgur.com/o9h0taX.jpg

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 25 May 2017 18:38 (two months ago) Permalink

lana del rey is not in Twin Peaks whiney

Οὖτις, Thursday, 25 May 2017 18:39 (two months ago) Permalink

I just meant it looks like the cast of Twin Peaks is very concerned with these shirts

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 25 May 2017 18:40 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

“Creature Comfort”
Arcade Fire’s “Creature Comfort” Knows Its Own Importance

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 17 June 2017 18:01 (one month ago) Permalink

That whole track review is based on a misreading of the lyrics:

The lyrical arena is where Arcade Fire have out-Arcade-Fired themselves, with the song humble-bragging at one point about Funeral preventing a fan’s suicide. There are specific moments of empathy here that ring true to how music can be the salve, like the line, “Some girls hate their bodies, stand in the mirror and wait for the feedback.” And their overflowing hearts are in the right places, amplifying the unspoken struggle over whether to go through with it in the chorus before Win Butler reasons, “Well if you’re not sure, better safe than sorry.” Inevitably, this song will stop someone from doing something rash. The problem is that Arcade Fire are pompous about knowing that, throwing their arms wide around the problem and presenting their own music as the solution. Bono on line one for you, Win.

That sounds horrible, but the verse in question is pretty clear that Funeral was going to help her kill herself, not prevent it:

Assisted suicide
She dreams about dying all the time
She told me she came so close
Filled up the bathtub and put on our first record

Not the worlds best lyrics but... That's a pretty weird reading of it.

Frederik B, Sunday, 18 June 2017 15:39 (one month ago) Permalink

Last night a BNM saved my life

President Keyes, Sunday, 18 June 2017 16:34 (one month ago) Permalink

wait 'til she hears Reflektor!

fits, Monday, 19 June 2017 21:22 (one month ago) Permalink

my least favorite band

nomar, Monday, 19 June 2017 21:26 (one month ago) Permalink

Are Pitchfork no longer updating their rss feeds?

Vernon Locke, Wednesday, 21 June 2017 02:46 (one month ago) Permalink

FWIW, 30 album reviews landed in my feed this morning.

Vernon Locke, Thursday, 22 June 2017 00:01 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

i liked this piece on PSY and "Gangnam Style" http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/psys-gangnam-style-changed-pop-music-whether-you-like-it-or-not/

flappy bird, Thursday, 13 July 2017 17:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I liked a couple recent features also. Looks like things are turning around.

billstevejim, Saturday, 15 July 2017 05:34 (one week ago) Permalink

*goes to spotify and types in "diamond"*

gold in them thar hills!

mh, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 20:59 (two days ago) Permalink

#1 Diamonds and Pearls lol

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 25 July 2017 21:56 (two days ago) Permalink

In the intervening decades of empowered female pop stars—from Millie Jackson to Madonna, Lil’ Kim to Rihanna—has any one of them baldly put their bikini-clad camel toe front and center on an album as Costa did back in 1973?

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_COPk7dnIPKU%2FSXhYo7-3nOI%2FAAAAAAAAAJs%2FafGSaw5yTzo%2Fs320%2Fkim.jpg&f=1

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 26 July 2017 16:51 (yesterday) Permalink

I don't know, I don't think that invalidates the point at all? For reference:
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41KBHS4ANQL.jpg

Though really going into detail in this discussion would get very awkward very rapidly.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 26 July 2017 17:07 (yesterday) Permalink

itt dudes discuss the history of the musical coochshot

this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 17:14 (yesterday) Permalink


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