pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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Donald
Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork
Mon Apr 1 07:08:25 2002
63.167.209.146

I'm not going to spew any elitist bullshit, but Alanis Morrissette, Kylie Minogue? Oh my fucking God. I'll stay for a little while to see if P-Fork still serves my needs, but with today's front page, I'm not counting on it. I understand the career move, but I just don't think it's going to serve me any more.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

stu Re: Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork Mon Apr 1 07:41:08 2002 65.92.243.96

I wonder if it's going to serve anyone's needs. I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue. To my knowledge, no one actually hunts down information about such artists. People just hear about it on tv and that's it. Let's give Pitchfork a few months, until the corporate contributors pull the plug.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I am very disappointed. Could they have made it any more obvious? COME ON, PEOPLE.

David Raposa, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

What makes me think that things will be back to normal by tomorrow? ;)

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know Sean... it would be April 2nd, which would make it one day after...

Andy K, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

You scalawags, you make me laff. Perhaps.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Speaking of which, HEY NED! My Bloody Valentine are finally releasing their new album!

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

"i for one will not be returning to this site if you're seriously going to be reviewing alanis. like i can't read that shit everywhere and anywhere? the reason i had pitchfork as my home page was because i could actually find out about the shit i care about. i'm glad you can pay your rent now, it's too bad that you sold out your millions of readers for britney fans in body glitter to do it."

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

pitchfork as your homepage, classic or dud?

the first thing i thought (after, well, this is no all cure all the time) was that i wished they really had "sold out" (what the fuck, is this 93?), because maybe it would mean LESS GODDAMN PROG.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

he's calling you out, leone. FITE!

Todd Burns, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I think I'd rather read about Alanis and Kylie than most of the stuff they normally review.

Sean, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Their funniest joke came months ago.

Nicole, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is...

mr. sparkle, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Makes sense, really.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is... huh???

Brock K., Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

LESS GODDAMN PROG

So, does that mean we'll write about the next Radiohead album, or not?

dleone, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

And that Flaming Lips thing actually is true. I think.

powertonevolume, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Hein? Is the joke that Pitchfork reviewed some pop musik?? Even their KYLIE review was as dull as www.defra.gov.uk/farm/sustain/default.htm ARRRGHHHHHHHHH!! Then again Pitchfork = dull is a big shocker along the lines of Nelson in COLUMN!!!!!! shocker.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

'On' column? 'HAS' column?! I can see him from my bladdy window but does that help my BRANE I think NICHT.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Dom, how much of the Kylie review was farce? "The song exudes a catchiness that belies its inherent simplicity, so reassuring during an era when chart acts sound increasingly baroque and producers race to see who can ape electronic music trends first" sounds at least semi-serious.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

five years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (ten years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (ten years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (ten years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (ten years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (ten years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

95% of this list is stuff you would have wanted to check out if you were Spin Magazine reader back in the 80s. Seems odd that it looks like a step forward for a music site in 2018.

President Keyes, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:00 (two weeks ago) Permalink

how have I never seen that Rush video before, that's incredible

frogbs, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I wonder how much different the list would have looked if the writers had simply listed the albums from the decade that they listen to most frequently (in order of frequency)?

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

what’s the frequency, pitchfork

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I love the way this Rush video starts, before it hurtles into wtf territory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wziJqdq4LcA

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 12 September 2018 14:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

(Listening to French Frith Kaiser Thompson while typing this and came across the line "Now that I have kicked, Rolling Stone has picked my albums as the best that be.")

Kaiser has put out 2 albums in the past 10 years called "Plane Crash" related to that line.

sarahell, Wednesday, 12 September 2018 17:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://pitchfork.com/levels/why-tesla-is-hip-hops-new-car-of-choice/

Teslas still don’t dominate rap lyrics the way some other sports cars do, but it is on the rise. Whether they’re intrigued by Elon Musk as a tech mastermind, or fixated on what the future looks like, or simply into the surreality of hands-off driving, rappers are quickly making Tesla a staple and a signifier. As they cruise around in one, their dreams of flying spaceships are realized.

Karl Malone, Thursday, 13 September 2018 15:15 (one week ago) Permalink

Sounds like concluding paragraph to a 10th-grade book report.

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Thursday, 13 September 2018 17:50 (one week ago) Permalink

god this Rapper Product Endorsement Column is embarassing

Οὖτις, Thursday, 13 September 2018 17:52 (one week ago) Permalink

Damn is that a lot of passive voice

guardians of the gums: i am tooth (voodoo chili), Thursday, 13 September 2018 18:26 (one week ago) Permalink

Listening to Turiya Sings, really don't get how that's the one that got on the 80's list. AFAICT it's not re-released, and there are no tracks from it on the Luaka Bob comp, right? So... How has the voters heard it? Anyways, it's great, but still.

Frederik B, Thursday, 13 September 2018 21:17 (one week ago) Permalink

there's one track from it on the comp

I first heard it via an mp3 blog four or five years ago. I was aware it had a bit of an internet cult but yeah, it's inclusion is still fairly surprising

Number None, Friday, 14 September 2018 02:44 (one week ago) Permalink

I hadn't heard of Turiya Sings before the compilation, but right after it came out TS shot up into RYM's top 40 for 1982.

President Keyes, Friday, 14 September 2018 12:27 (one week ago) Permalink

Gaucho is a 1970s album in spirit.

in twelve parts (lamonti), Friday, 14 September 2018 15:44 (one week ago) Permalink

definitely. they didn't officially change the calendar to 1980 until the moment after gaucho was released imo

Karl Malone, Friday, 14 September 2018 15:47 (one week ago) Permalink

(xposts to Frederik) The only place I've been able to find Turiya Sings is YouTube (am literally listening to it there right now, sounding great so far), I've no idea if Luaka Bop are planning on reissuing individual albums as a follow-up to the comp but yeah it looks to have been out of print a long time.

Gavin, Leeds, Friday, 14 September 2018 16:11 (one week ago) Permalink

On February 9, 2018, the 48-year-old Icelandic musician and film composer Jóhann Jóhannsson passed away suddenly from heart failure.

well that's one way of describing an OD.

Ludo, Friday, 14 September 2018 18:24 (one week ago) Permalink

Initially kind of surprised Lewis - L'Amour didn't get retconned into the canon given its recent reissue, but then I looked and it was four years ago...I have no concept of time anymore.

A Box of After Dinner Comics Shipped to Your House Each Month (seandalai), Friday, 14 September 2018 22:56 (one week ago) Permalink

80s poll w/ no Devo? that can't be right.

BrianB, Friday, 14 September 2018 23:07 (one week ago) Permalink

Lewis is old hat. Everyone's all about Plux Quba now.

MarkoP, Friday, 14 September 2018 23:37 (one week ago) Permalink

First Plux Quba revival was like 20 years ago, no? Did something happen recently to rerevive it?

A Box of After Dinner Comics Shipped to Your House Each Month (seandalai), Saturday, 15 September 2018 00:15 (one week ago) Permalink

morrisp, i think a few of those albums were on the RS list posted upthread

― guardians of the gums: i am tooth (voodoo chili), Tuesday, September 11, 2018 11:45 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I must be more of a Wenner kid, lol (shudder)

― stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Tuesday, September 11, 2018 11:46 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink


Ok, I finally looked at the RS list from ‘89 (https://www.listchallenges.com/rolling-stone-100-best-albums-of-the-eighties)... it does feel much more “on point” to me in terms of both reflecting the Zeitgeist and the ranking/inclusion of certain albums (Born in the USA at #6, and Daydream Nation at #45, feels like setting things right in the universe). The list also feels more “diverse” than the Pfork list, in a way (even though there’s a lot of overlap).

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 03:40 (one week ago) Permalink

(“Diverse,” that is, within the context of a list of popular, U.S.-centric albums that feel reasonable to compare to each other, aesthetically. I understand Pfork’s mission was different, this just works for me better.)

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 03:57 (one week ago) Permalink

kind of hilarious that their #1 record was released in 1979. well, sure, why not, what the hell difference does a couple weeks make?

milkshake duck george bernard shaw (rushomancy), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:03 (one week ago) Permalink

I mean, an album whose impact was mostly in the 80s, not released in America until January 1980, was listed as the number one critics pick for 1980 for RS and Pazz and Jop, its like who cares

5th Ward Weeaboo (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:13 (one week ago) Permalink

I mean, I guess people care, but I think it's a solid argument that even though it was released in UK two weeks early, it primarily feels like an "80s" album

5th Ward Weeaboo (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:14 (one week ago) Permalink

or felt

5th Ward Weeaboo (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:14 (one week ago) Permalink

just curious - why does the RS best 100 albums of 80s list start at #96?

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/100-best-albums-of-the-eighties-150477/

maybe 4 of of them end up getting disqualified for one reason or another, so they bumped everything below it up a spot?

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:20 (one week ago) Permalink

Weird — go thru the full list of 100 (in the link above) and compare?

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:31 (one week ago) Permalink

yeah, that's what i'm doing now (the actual list of 100 is here: https://www.besteveralbums.com/thechart.php?c=10637)

first missing one i've found: human league's Dare was originally #78, between Steve Earle's Guitar Town and Robbie Robertson S/T. now it's just gone.

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:33 (one week ago) Permalink

second exclusion: Madonna's S/T, originally positioned at #50, between Run D.M.C.'s S/T and Feelies' Crazy Rhythms
third exclusion: Janet Jackson's Control originally #28, between Lennon/Ono's Double Fantasy and GnR's Appetite for Destruction
fourth exclusion: Smiths S/T, originally #2, between Black Uhuru's Red and Tom Wait's Rain Dogs

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:43 (one week ago) Permalink

i don't think it's a conspiracy or anything, it's just weird that they're gone, and also that whoever put up the webpage for the 100 best albums didn't think twice about adjusting the rankings for most of the list and starting it at #96

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:45 (one week ago) Permalink

pitchfork is dumb but they can count to 100

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:45 (one week ago) Permalink

fourth exclusion: Smiths S/T, originally #2, between Black Uhuru's Red and Tom Wait's Rain Dogs

sorry, this should be "originally #22"

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:46 (one week ago) Permalink

Bizzare... is it possible that the writer of those four blurbs somehow retained the copyright, and RS didn’t have authorization to reprint them online? I know that seems unlikely, I’m grasping at straws.

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 04:58 (one week ago) Permalink

dare wasnt in the new p4k one either

theyre yezhoving the human league

nxd, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 08:54 (one week ago) Permalink

what does yezhoving mean?

in twelve parts (lamonti), Wednesday, 19 September 2018 11:04 (one week ago) Permalink

their review of the new Orbital album demonstrates something I've always disliked about Pitchfork, their tendency to canonize their old reviews and treat them as though they were all written by the same person

this new album gets a 6.0, while their 2004 "farewell" Blue Album got a 7.3. so there's a line about how good that album was, implicitly in comparison to this new one, even though the 2004 review was written by a different author and the group was in a much different circumstance. I think most Orbital fans would agree that this new one is miles ahead of Blue Album - the same criticisms in this review apply double to that one. alas. they do this sort of thing a lot.

frogbs, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 14:49 (one week ago) Permalink

When It Comes to Music and Beer, Hop Along Won't Be Easily Defined

triggercut, Saturday, 22 September 2018 02:31 (four days ago) Permalink

Simply hate when people incorrectly define me When It Comes to Beer.

triggercut, Saturday, 22 September 2018 02:32 (four days ago) Permalink

I once cut a guy for mistakenly thinking I prefer Mosaic hops to Cascade hops.

growing up in publix (morrisp), Saturday, 22 September 2018 04:03 (four days ago) Permalink

The Swedish producer takes the long view on his fifth album

sixth album

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/the-field-infinite-moment/

flappy bird, Monday, 24 September 2018 17:17 (two days ago) Permalink

their review of the new Orbital album demonstrates something I've always disliked about Pitchfork, their tendency to canonize their old reviews and treat them as though they were all written by the same person

it's probably a concious decision to preserve integrity of their existing base of critique, but yeah, being forced to contextualize a release in accordance with the assertions of totally different review can definitely undermine the authors freedom to build a coherent narrative of his or her own.

ninthyoung, Monday, 24 September 2018 18:13 (two days ago) Permalink

This blessed collection of unreleased demos, recorded by Prince to cassette in a single take, is enthralling.

groovemaaan, Tuesday, 25 September 2018 13:15 (yesterday) Permalink

I know one person who wouldn't be blessing it

Number None, Tuesday, 25 September 2018 15:45 (yesterday) Permalink

2 Blessed 2 B Stressed

growing up in publix (morrisp), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 19:21 (yesterday) Permalink

I thought it was a solid review.

The Silky Veils of Alfred (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 19:28 (yesterday) Permalink

It is well written (with maybe a few overreaching metaphors).

growing up in publix (morrisp), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 20:52 (yesterday) Permalink


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