pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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Donald
Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork
Mon Apr 1 07:08:25 2002
63.167.209.146

I'm not going to spew any elitist bullshit, but Alanis Morrissette, Kylie Minogue? Oh my fucking God. I'll stay for a little while to see if P-Fork still serves my needs, but with today's front page, I'm not counting on it. I understand the career move, but I just don't think it's going to serve me any more.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

stu Re: Oh my God, what just happened at P-Fork Mon Apr 1 07:41:08 2002 65.92.243.96

I wonder if it's going to serve anyone's needs. I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue. To my knowledge, no one actually hunts down information about such artists. People just hear about it on tv and that's it. Let's give Pitchfork a few months, until the corporate contributors pull the plug.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I am very disappointed. Could they have made it any more obvious? COME ON, PEOPLE.

David Raposa, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't think a web- only publication can attract readers interested in Alanis Morissette and Kylie Minogue.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

What makes me think that things will be back to normal by tomorrow? ;)

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know Sean... it would be April 2nd, which would make it one day after...

Andy K, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

You scalawags, you make me laff. Perhaps.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Speaking of which, HEY NED! My Bloody Valentine are finally releasing their new album!

Sean Carruthers, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"i for one will not be returning to this site if you're seriously going to be reviewing alanis. like i can't read that shit everywhere and anywhere? the reason i had pitchfork as my home page was because i could actually find out about the shit i care about. i'm glad you can pay your rent now, it's too bad that you sold out your millions of readers for britney fans in body glitter to do it."

Dare, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

pitchfork as your homepage, classic or dud?

the first thing i thought (after, well, this is no all cure all the time) was that i wished they really had "sold out" (what the fuck, is this 93?), because maybe it would mean LESS GODDAMN PROG.

jess, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

he's calling you out, leone. FITE!

Todd Burns, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I think I'd rather read about Alanis and Kylie than most of the stuff they normally review.

Sean, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Their funniest joke came months ago.

Nicole, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is...

mr. sparkle, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

We thought about that as one of the news items.

Makes sense, really.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know what all you fools are talking about... I only WISH all of it were true.

Well, the Albini thing practically is... huh???

Brock K., Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

LESS GODDAMN PROG

So, does that mean we'll write about the next Radiohead album, or not?

dleone, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

And that Flaming Lips thing actually is true. I think.

powertonevolume, Monday, 1 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Hein? Is the joke that Pitchfork reviewed some pop musik?? Even their KYLIE review was as dull as www.defra.gov.uk/farm/sustain/default.htm ARRRGHHHHHHHHH!! Then again Pitchfork = dull is a big shocker along the lines of Nelson in COLUMN!!!!!! shocker.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'On' column? 'HAS' column?! I can see him from my bladdy window but does that help my BRANE I think NICHT.

Sarah, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Dom, how much of the Kylie review was farce? "The song exudes a catchiness that belies its inherent simplicity, so reassuring during an era when chart acts sound increasingly baroque and producers race to see who can ape electronic music trends first" sounds at least semi-serious.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

five years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (twelve years ago) link

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (twelve years ago) link

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (twelve years ago) link

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (twelve years ago) link

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (twelve years ago) link

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (twelve years ago) link

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (twelve years ago) link

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (twelve years ago) link

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (twelve years ago) link

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (twelve years ago) link

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (twelve years ago) link

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (twelve years ago) link

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (twelve years ago) link

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (twelve years ago) link

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (twelve years ago) link

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (twelve years ago) link

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (twelve years ago) link

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (twelve years ago) link

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (twelve years ago) link

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (twelve years ago) link

(by the way, i bought that album on vinyl on its release date and have been living in constant disappointment ever since. such an overrated, sunstance-free pile of trash.)

― Totally different head. Totally. (Austin), Monday, 4 November 2019 22:08 (one week ago) link

Bizarre post

ILX’s bad boy (D-40), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 14:42 (three weeks ago) link

thanks; it's what i do.

Totally different head. Totally. (Austin), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:08 (three weeks ago) link

when sony bought loews the jingle got rebranded in the most awkward way

maura, Wednesday, 13 November 2019 17:21 (three weeks ago) link

big news

https://pitchfork.com/news/real-estate-unveil-signature-wine/

Real Estate have unveiled a signature red wine blend. Produced in collaboration with Sonoma Valley’s Echo Echo Wine Company, “Reality Estates” is a blend of malbec, petit verdot, and cabernet sauvignon. According to the winery, the blend is “hand crafted to reflect Real Estate’s love of intense and nuanced flavors while complementing the sanguine feel of their music.” The product description also says the wine contains “aromas of blackberries and dark cherries in tune with black pepper, plus flavors of Satsuma plum, dark chocolate, with medium body and light, silky tannins.” Preview the bottles below.

omar little, Wednesday, 13 November 2019 22:26 (three weeks ago) link

yes but are Echo Echo Wine selling real estate?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 22:30 (three weeks ago) link

Ivers composed “In Heaven” for David Lynch’s debut film Eraserhead, hosted the public access variety show New Wave Theatre, and recorded numerous demo cassettes and reel-to-reel tapes, leaving a mess of pop oddities at the time of his still-unsolved murder in 1983. On Becoming Peter Ivers, RVNG Intl. presents a collection of his bizarre and beautiful recordings, some of which have never before seen the light of day. It is an embarrassment of riches that crowns Ivers as the weirdo king of bedroom pop, decades before the genre existed.

*sigh*. Emitt Rhodes' first home studio recordings: 1970, McCartney's home recorded solo debut: 1969, Cleaners from Venus' first home recordings: 1982, etc etc

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:34 (three weeks ago) link

I'm sure there's others - Gary Wilson (1977)?

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:38 (three weeks ago) link

DECADES!

(also, Pete Townshend's demos starting around 1966-67)

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 15 November 2019 20:40 (three weeks ago) link

could arguably call the Beach Boys' home studio recordings from the late 60s the real ground zero (Smiley Smile, for ex.)

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:41 (three weeks ago) link

were those records seen as part of a genre called bedroom pop at the time?

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Friday, 15 November 2019 20:42 (three weeks ago) link

I don't think the writer is claiming that this was the first person who recorded in a bedroom

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Friday, 15 November 2019 20:42 (three weeks ago) link

genres are often codified after the fact. even so, the most generous reading of that quote implies that no one had identified anything as "bedroom pop" prior to 2003, which is definitely not the case.

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:50 (three weeks ago) link

let's take a look at wikipedia, shall we

DIY music predates written history, but "lo-fi" as it was understood after the 1990s can be traced to 1950s rock and roll.[31] AllMusic writes that the genre's recordings were made "cheaply and quickly, often on substandard equipment. In that sense, the earliest rock & roll records, most of the garage rock of the '60s, and much of the punk rock of the late '70s could be tagged as Lo-Fi."[32] The Beach Boys' albums Smiley Smile (1967), Wild Honey (1967), and Friends (1968) were a trilogy of lo-fi albums recorded mostly in Brian Wilson's makeshift home studio; the albums were later referred to as components of his "Bedroom Tapes".[33] Pitchfork writer Mark Richardson credited Smiley Smile with "basically invent[ing] the kind of lo-fi bedroom pop that would later propel Sebadoh, Animal Collective, and other characters."[34]

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:51 (three weeks ago) link

idk why I even look at this fucking site anymore. morbid curiosity I guess.

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:52 (three weeks ago) link

I feel like it's referring to something more specific and contemporary, as defined in this recent New Yorker piece by Carrie Battan:

At some point in the past decade, the bedroom replaced the garage as the primary spiritual escape hatch for suburban teen-agers who wanted to express themselves through music. Oversized amps and hand-me-down drum sets were usurped by Wi-Fi, laptops, and home-recording software. The angst and the noise of garage rock gave way to more subdued sounds, as young musicians began making the kind of hushed, Internet-facing electronic pop that could be kept secret from adults, rather than weaponized against them. This insular form of music eventually crystallized into a scene called “bedroom pop”—a digitally connected cohort of musicians with its own stars, styles, and dedicated playlists. (It also shifted the meaning of the word “bedroom” in music away from the sensual and toward the cerebral.) Like many terms used to characterize micro-genres, bedroom pop is a misnomer—not all of it is recorded in bedrooms, and most of it is not popular—but it is an apt description of a woozy lo-fi style generated from self-imposed isolation.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/08/19/clairo-and-the-fuzzy-diy-sounds-of-bedroom-pop

jaymc, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:56 (three weeks ago) link

But of course, you're right that the term is older than that.

jaymc, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:59 (three weeks ago) link

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone's first album came out in 1999.

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 20:59 (three weeks ago) link

it's funny how research is easier than it ever has been in the history of the world, and yet ppl are still too lazy to do it

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:00 (three weeks ago) link

ooh baby makin music

maffew12, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:03 (three weeks ago) link

There's a Spotify playlist called Bedroom Pop and it's all recent stuff like Clairo and Rex Orange County.

jaymc, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:03 (three weeks ago) link

guys, "bedroom pop" refers to a specific group of modern musicians even though the term was used before...

The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:05 (three weeks ago) link

if that's the case why is it being retroactively applied to a dude from 1983 who did not have a laptop, an internet connection and home recording software

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:06 (three weeks ago) link

were you big mad when they used to call Neil Young the "godfather of grunge"

The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:07 (three weeks ago) link

even so, the most generous reading of that quote implies that no one had identified anything as "bedroom pop" prior to 2003

wait, what? he's talking about tapes by a guy who died in 1983.

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:10 (three weeks ago) link

I just don't get why this guy is the progenitor of this "genre" and not all these other people who were doing m/l the same type of thing

wait, what? he's talking about tapes by a guy who died in 1983.

right, and "decades" implies at least more than one decade ie +20 years = 2003 is the earliest point at which "the genre existed"

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:12 (three weeks ago) link

The compilation presents 25 tracks culled from over 500 recordings that Ivers laid down at his Laurel Canyon home and studios in L.A. in the mid-to-late ’70s

not quite so late as 2003, but granted, people were definitely using "bedroom pop" as a genre term when Exile in Guyville came out.

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:16 (three weeks ago) link

I think the issue is the word "genre." If it's referring to the specific group of modern musicians, maybe better to call it a "scene." Or just say "decades before Clairo came along."

jaymc, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:18 (three weeks ago) link

yeah.

even so what is the connection between this guy and the current scene, as distinguished from other bedroom pop weirdos of the last 50 years (per the "weirdo king... decades prior")

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:20 (three weeks ago) link

You guys are absolute pedants and you sound like you're outside a Hot Topic screaming that Hawthorne Heights isn't punk

The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:22 (three weeks ago) link

GenXers don't yell, we eyeroll

Οὖτις, Friday, 15 November 2019 21:27 (three weeks ago) link

Jack Black definitely yells

brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 15 November 2019 21:29 (three weeks ago) link

Hawthorne Heights isn't punk

well they're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

j., Saturday, 16 November 2019 00:21 (three weeks ago) link

McCartney's home recorded solo debut: 1969,

lol

flopson, Saturday, 16 November 2019 00:25 (three weeks ago) link

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone's first album came out in 1999.

― Οὖτις, Friday, November 15, 2019 3:59 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

now i can't tell if shakey is pedantic or just innumerate

flopson, Saturday, 16 November 2019 00:26 (three weeks ago) link

Her full setlist included “Lover” and “The Man” from Lover, the title track from Love Story, “I Knew You Were Trouble” from Red as well as “Oh my God, look at That Face...” and “Shake It Off” from 1989.

Pretty sure the song is called “Blank Space.”

FODMAP of the reef (morrisp), Monday, 25 November 2019 04:43 (two weeks ago) link

Btw — why was there no retrospective “Sunday review” today? I was looking forward to seeing how they rate Eddie Grant’s Killer on the Rampage, or whatever...

FODMAP of the reef (morrisp), Monday, 25 November 2019 04:49 (two weeks ago) link

I thought it might be because of thanksgiving or some other weird us thingy.

Frederik B, Monday, 25 November 2019 11:47 (two weeks ago) link

finally you're learning to respect our customs and know your place!! good foreigner

j., Monday, 25 November 2019 12:41 (two weeks ago) link

Lil Bub, Famous Internet Cat, Dead at 8

Soy Bean False Chicken (morrisp), Monday, 2 December 2019 18:02 (one week ago) link

was interviewed by David Yow once tbf

insecurity bear (sic), Monday, 2 December 2019 18:04 (one week ago) link

He was the hipster choice when it came to famous internet cats.

MarkoP, Monday, 2 December 2019 18:25 (one week ago) link

no Aquemini or atliens or southernplayalistic in the p4k archives fyi

flopson, Monday, 2 December 2019 18:45 (one week ago) link

I wonder what they think of those

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Monday, 2 December 2019 20:14 (one week ago) link

i don't.

Totally different head. Totally. (Austin), Monday, 2 December 2019 22:50 (one week ago) link

went to vote in the readers poll only for Lambchop to auto-complete to "Lambshop" (with the right album title though)

ufo, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 12:39 (six days ago) link

same w "Carla fal Gorno"

lowercase (eric), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 12:56 (six days ago) link

well it had the "dal" right. i'm prob not one to judge quick typos

lowercase (eric), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 12:59 (six days ago) link

yeah I'm super anal-retentive about this kind of stuff and I noticed they capitalized the first two letters in Andrew Bird's last name so it appeared as "Andrew BIrd"

Evans on Hammond (evol j), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 14:47 (six days ago) link

Did pitchfork stop doing tracks reviews?
https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/

(also, under "Reviews" there's no choice for "Tracks" anymore)

enochroot, Friday, 6 December 2019 15:26 (three days ago) link

There's one from two days ago at that very link, for the Caribou song.

soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 6 December 2019 15:30 (three days ago) link


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