The Bobby Gillespie Bullshit game

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From last Sunday's Observer, where artists, musicians, whatever, were asked for their favourite 'secret' inspirations:

Bobby Gillespie, singer, Primal Scream:

The world

I came across a burnt-out motorcycle in the street this morning, no wheels, no seat, just a charred metal skeleton. It had obviously been stolen and dumped by a gang of teenage wild boys. It was the most beautiful thing I've seen since last night's evening sky. You don't find 'art' in galleries, it's all around you. The city is alive and on fire. Long may it burn.

A classic piece of r 'n' r nonsense form the aging Scotsman, there. So let's look at the scores: I reckon "motorcycle" [10 points]; "gang of teenage wild boys" [20 points]; "beautiful" [5 points]; "city...on fire etc" [30 points] - giving a total of 65 points (out of a possible 100).

Can anyone beat this?

bham (bham), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:47 (thirteen years ago) link

He wouldn't have said that if it had been his bike!

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I came across a burnt-out motorcycle in the street this morning, no wheels, no seat, just a charred metal skeleton.

Fucking hell, it's MY motorbike!

CUNTS! SCUM! BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE! SEND THEM TO FUCKEN IRAQ! YER FUCKEN SHITE HOOSIN' ESTATE WILL BE ON FUCKEN FIRE IF AH EVER FIND YOUSE! TIE THEIR FUCKEN TUBES!! C*********NTS!!!!!!!!

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes, but until that realisation, he is a spaced out dude, everything is art and nothing's going to touch his world. Your broken leg is beautiful to him. A wound on someone's head is a trancendant statement on the link between the life force in us all, and the galaxy in supernova.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 21 September 2006 07:59 (thirteen years ago) link

oh my god bham that it brilliant.

unfortunately i think this means i shall have to destroy all my primal scream records.

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:05 (thirteen years ago) link

Only destory the ones that he has anything to do with, Henry - i.e. Give Out and Riot City and those first two. The good ones are all Innes, innit.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:08 (thirteen years ago) link

i don't even own 'give out' (sold it) or 'riot city' (never bought).

i suppose i could keep the instrumentals.

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:11 (thirteen years ago) link

"gang of teenage wild boys" rofl rofl

http://jackwolak.com/7/3341.jpg

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:14 (thirteen years ago) link

'riot city' never bought

Fair summation.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:23 (thirteen years ago) link

We can do much better than this, for instance, here are a couple of quotes right from the band's website:

Screamadelica Era
"...I think music is magic... magical, in the true sense of the word. Certain pieces of music make me feel strong, protected. It raises... it raises my soul. No, forget that, it protects me from bad feelings. Music protects us in such a powerful way, it makes you aware of possibilities. To alot of people I think music's a commodity, not spiritual. it's something you put on the mantlepiece and it's there, like a set of golfclubs or an ironing board, whereas to us it's a holy thing, and none of us are even religious."
- Bobby Gillespie, NME interview 28 September 1991

"magic" = 5 points, "raises my soul" = 10 points, "protects me from bad feelings" (whatever that means) = 10 points, spiritual + religious + holy = 30 points, using all this bullshit to form a "we're not in it for the money" argument = 35 points

Total = 90 points

"Most bands think in black and white, we think in Technicolour," - Bobby Gillespie, September(?) 1991

Ugh, ffs, 99 points.

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:24 (thirteen years ago) link

However, as I've said before, Screamadelica is a fantastic Sabres of Paradise album.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:25 (thirteen years ago) link

i can't beat bham but from an nme interview (on that same website!) this year -- i suppose it needs context: he's talking about going to paris fashion shows and elton john's birthday party:

"We're a hardworking band. I go to the studio five days a week. My girlfriend works in fashion and now and again there's something she might want to go to so I go along - that's what you do. It's a bit weird, it's like saying your girlfriend's black so you must be black. Or your girlfriend's Jewish so you must be Jewish."

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:26 (thirteen years ago) link

"People think the flag is a symbol for like slavery and racism," says Bobby. "But that's not what the Civil War was about. It was about like freedom, You know?"

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:29 (thirteen years ago) link

winner

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:31 (thirteen years ago) link

WTF is Bobby "Bomb The Pentagon" Gillespie doing going to kapitalist Elton John birthday parties?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:33 (thirteen years ago) link

it's something you put on the mantlepiece... like a set of golfclubs or an ironing board

This guy would do really badly on Family Fortunes.

NickB (NickB), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:35 (thirteen years ago) link

xpost

Bombing the Pentagon wasn't about anti-American sentiment, it was about, like, freedom, you know? Freedom to do what you want to do, and we want to get loaded ...

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Family Fortunes - I don't think BG would take well to a fitness weekend at a health farm in rural Staffordshire...

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 08:37 (thirteen years ago) link

These quotes are all awesome!! Bobby G. rules!!

Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Thursday, 21 September 2006 09:34 (thirteen years ago) link

"WTF is Bobby "Bomb The Pentagon" Gillespie doing going to kapitalist Elton John birthday parties?"

He's there because his girlfirend's jewish, Marcello, can't you read?

I think this is my favourite BG quote (from OMM earlier this year):

'You know, Andrew Innes is a chemist and so's his wife - they've got pharmaceutical degrees. He's an oddball boffin who'll experiment with anything you give him. When computers came out, he got one straight away and learnt how to work them. Oasis call him "Brains".'

Kudos to Innes for cracking that IBM mainframe up in Glasgow all on his own, but that final punchline is priceless.

bham (bham), Thursday, 21 September 2006 09:51 (thirteen years ago) link

if someone else does it, bobby is bound to come along and dive right in . .

frenchbloke (frenchbloke), Thursday, 21 September 2006 10:04 (thirteen years ago) link

Just calling the album "Riot City Blues" is sixty points right there for Crazy Bob, imho.

Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Thursday, 21 September 2006 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link

I came across a burnt-out rock star in the street this morning, legless, no flesh on his bum, just a charred metal skeleton. He'd obviously been fucked and dumped by a gang of teenage wild boys. It was the most beautiful thing I've seen since last night's evening sky. You don't find 'rock' at rock festivals, it's all around you. The city is alive and on fire. Long may Bobby burn.

Momus (Momus), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:05 (thirteen years ago) link

now now be nice

electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:08 (thirteen years ago) link

b-b-but Bobby WAS a charred metal skeleton in the Velocity Girl days!

(nb thanks for the cd momus)

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:10 (thirteen years ago) link

In reference to Marcello's earlier comment about fitness weekend... (I'm not making this up) I saw BG in the changing-room of my local gym a couple of months ago - so while I didn't actually witness him doing any physical exercise, he did look as though he'd been doing some beforehand. Not very rock'n'roll obviously.

Kaliova (Kaliova), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:37 (thirteen years ago) link

"Select" magazine, April 1994:

"The only thing I don't want is us to be nailed down as some motherfuckin' curators of some rock 'n' roll fuckin' museum. We love all sorts of music, and I'm glad to turn people on to sounds they've never heard - y'know, go and buy "superfly" by curtis mayfield, or the impressions' greatest hits, or Culture "two sevens clash".

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:43 (thirteen years ago) link

...said the curator of the rock museum.

Momus (Momus), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:47 (thirteen years ago) link

That quote, y'know, is motherfuckin' fucked up in several fuckin' ways, most notably "we are not curators of rock museum, here listen to these old records" and "we will turn you on to stuff you've never heard before" (then going on to instruct the readership to buy three records that are somewhat far from being even slightly obscure)

The guy is, and always has been a patronising cock, and primal scream are the worst band to come out of the UK since the '80's at least, and possibly ever.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Pashmina OTM.

Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:56 (thirteen years ago) link

Every day I curse Andrew Weatherall for remixing Primal Scream because if he didn't, nobody would have given a shit about Crazy Bob and we wouldn't have to be discussing about how big a cunt he is.

Eazy-Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Thursday, 21 September 2006 11:58 (thirteen years ago) link

Q: When did you first realise you could sing?

BG: Ehh..I don't know. I think I always wanted to be a singer but I didn't realise it. I always wanted to be a guitar player because I loved guitar players in bands. I became a singer through default. We were writing these songs and I wanted to play guitar and we kept asking these people to sing and they were terrible so I stepped in.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:03 (thirteen years ago) link

I love that Norman obviously really likes Primal Scream despite his protestations.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:10 (thirteen years ago) link

From Bobby's liner notes to the recent Tago Mago reissue, on "jamming" with "the Can":

So there was five of us, Andrew Innes on guitar, me on vocals, Jaki Leibezeit on drums, Michael Karoli on guitar and Liam Gallagher on one finger piano. We jammed our arses off, till five in the morning, hard and heavy on a two-chord Karoli groove, what a night! I'll never forget it. We all fell out of the studio arm-in-arm and walked up the road high and happy, blasted by the magick of Can, The Can!

There's plenty more where that came from as well- I couldn't believe they'd published such utter name-dropping drivel!

Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Haha Nick, they are the band I love to hate, I must admit.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:13 (thirteen years ago) link

But honesty, the sound of the guy's voice is fingernails on a blackboard to me. I cannot stand it.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:15 (thirteen years ago) link

there's a version of the -- hey, hey -- CANecdote in one of the interviews i parsed.

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 12:19 (thirteen years ago) link

blasted by the magick of Can, the Can!

I didn't know he was a Suzi Quatro fan.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:45 (thirteen years ago) link

Ha ha. There's a very good Glasgow word to describe Bobby, A DIDDY.

Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Diddy Gillespie!

Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Thursday, 21 September 2006 13:54 (thirteen years ago) link

I didn't know he was a Suzi Quatro fan.

"After spending a week jamming with Quatro, the Scream determined that 'Leather Forever' would be like part of our ten-point plan to wipe out the fascists that dare like cross our path. We have one of Suzi's Leather Tuscadero outfits hanging in the back room of the Scream Team hideout."

Andy_K (Andy_K), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:02 (thirteen years ago) link

"I first met Suzi when I was a 2-year old punk rocker in Detroit in '68. I was hanging out with the '5, tellin' Fred and Wayne and the boys all about Krautrock, even though I hadn't learnt how to talk yet and Krautrock hadn't been invented yet, but, hey, what i rock 'n' roll about if isn't about dreams, suddenly in walked Suzi..."

Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:09 (thirteen years ago) link

Imagine having to listen to Liam Gallagher playing "one finger piano" all night- the mind boggles.

Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:12 (thirteen years ago) link

imagine the man he calls 'brains'.

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:15 (thirteen years ago) link

"Oasis call him 'brains'" is the best one, that's classic of teh stupid.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:17 (thirteen years ago) link

TS: Liam Gallagher playing one finger piano all night vs. John Cale playing one finger piano all night.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:33 (thirteen years ago) link

John Cale pleaded to be allowed to join in but Bobby said no

Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:35 (thirteen years ago) link

because he didn't own any of his albums yet

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Of course he did, John gave them to him personally, when he was a 12 year old punk rocker hangin' out at CBGBs with DeeDee and Johnny in 1976

Am I Re-elected Yet? (Dada), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Except Ian Hunter nicked them off him three years previously, as described on page 77 of Diary Of A Rock 'N' Roll Star, and substituted the new platters from Poco and Foghat.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 21 September 2006 14:42 (thirteen years ago) link

ilm is good again

calzino, Sunday, 17 November 2019 15:54 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Track by track commentary from Bobby for 2013's clunker "More Light"? Yes please! He manages to misquote JG Ballard within the first minute.

https://open.spotify.com/album/6hIPAoP6Y5N2CLuyhzNmaL?si=eqrwttdxSpSkcFBzYeP6sg

Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 13 January 2020 13:03 (six months ago) link

i watched the shaun the sheep movie this weekend (a gentleman's 6/10 at best tbh) and was thrilled to hear the scream's 'rocks' play in multiple scenes, adding a much-needed edge of streetwise sleaze to the story of a small sheep and his friends ending up marooned in the big city after a day off at the farm goes wrong

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 13 January 2020 13:06 (six months ago) link

... are you trying to tempt me into doing another Boaby skit or what?

Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Monday, 13 January 2020 13:08 (six months ago) link

that film is crying out for a Boaby commentary voice-over- "wake up sheeple" etc.

Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 13 January 2020 13:16 (six months ago) link

... are you trying to tempt me into doing another Boaby skit or what?


the answer to this question is always ‘yes’

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 13 January 2020 14:07 (six months ago) link

2013's clunker "More Light"?

this album is great fwiw

Οὖτις, Monday, 13 January 2020 16:06 (six months ago) link

Boaby has been called to a meeting with with a film producer at his manager's office. He is somewhat late.

Producer: Is he actually going to show, he's nearly an hour late as it is.

Manager: I did warn you not to organize anything before 2pm, he'll just be getting out of his bed, he thinks he's a rock sta....

Ostentatious series of knocks at the door.

Manager: ... that'll be him, come in!

Boab breezes in.

Boaby: Morning, chaps!

Producer: Afternoon.

Boaby: Aye, whatever. So whit's the fuckin' sketch?

Manager (to Producer): Shall I? (to Boaby)What it is, Bobby, is we've had an offer for you to provide a onscreen commentary for a DVD of a movie...

Boaby (interrupting excitedly): Ya dancin' bear!

Manager: ... of a movie in which ...

Boaby: Let me fuckin' guess. It's "Vanishing Point" intit? (to Producer) Did you know we hud an album named efter that film? Aye, ah course ye dae! Huv ye seen it, by the way, it's fuckin' awesome, Randy Newman is fuckin' great in it...

Manager: ... if I may continue, Bobby?

Boaby: Oh right, aye, fire away, ah'm aw ears.

Manager: The movie in question heavily features the Scream's music...

Boaby (interrupting again): ... here, it's no' Tarantino is it? That fuckin' shite he did aboot Manson? Ah've no' seen it masel yet but ah'll be sure tae check it oot when it's next oan at the pictures...

Producer: That was set in 1969.

Boaby: ... and your point is, caller?

Producer: Excuse me?

Boaby (same intonation): And your point is, caller?

Producer stares blankly.

Boaby: ... ye know, like Jimmy Sanderson? (high pitched Glaswegian voice) "Were you at the game?"

Producer continues staring blankly.

Boaby (to Manager, out of side of mouth): Jesus, where did ye dredge this wan up?

Manager: Er, if I may, I think the point is it was it was set in 1969 so Tarantino used music from that era on the soundtrack.

Boaby: Aye, well that makes sense, ah suppose. We can sound like we're from 1969 if ye wahnt though, we've done it afore.

Manager: I know Bobby but we're... look we're getting off track here.

Boaby: Aye, ah'm sorry but ah'm jist so fuckin' made up, man! Me daein' the commentary fur a Hollywood movie!

Producer: It's not exactly a Hollywood movie.

Boaby: Aye, well, cult classic then, nae cunt went tae see "Electra Glide in Blue" either when it came oot, know what ah'm sayin'?

Producer: It's not a cult film either, it's been very successful at the box office.

Boaby: Is that right, big yin? Well ah'm the very boey fur the joab then!

Manager: The film in question, Bobby, is "Shaun the Sheep: The Movie".

Boaby's face hardens.

Boaby: Shaun the Fuckin' Sheep?

Producer: No, Shaun the Sheep.

Boaby: That's whit ah said, Shaun the Fuckin' Sheep.

Manager: We think that...

Boaby: Here, haud oan a minute, d'ye think ah wis born yisterday?

Producer: I've seen your publicity shots, so no.

Boaby: Oh ha-fuckin'-ha, ya f-

Manager (rapidly interrupting): If I can stop you right there, Bobby, we think a commentary track on this DVD will help introduce the Scream to a new audience...

Boaby: ... aye, a fuckin' audience o' 6 year aulds!

Manager: ... 6 year olds and their parents.

Boaby (cautiously): Ah'm listenin'.

Producer: There's a demographic of adults in the 30 to 40 year old bracket who will have become acquainted with the music of your group for the first time as a result of viewing "Shaun the Sheep: The Movie".

Boaby: Aye, ah see where ye're comin' fae, big yin. Go for an audience that's a wee bit aulder than we normally attract.

Manager: Older? Bobby, I've been at your concerts, the audience is almost as old as yyyyyyyou'd be surprised at the age of your audience.

Boaby: Aye, probably. Tae be frank wi' ye, ah've goat nae idea whit age the audience is at oor gigs, ah cannae fuckin' see the cunts, ah'm that oot ma nut maist nights! (nudging Producer who inches away)

Manager: That and you refuse to wear your glasses in public.

Boaby (Shaun the sheepishly): Aye, there's that an' aw.

Producer: Anyway, there is one proviso.

Boaby: Holl', me no speaka de Italian, can ah huv that in fuckin' English, mate?

Producer: One stipulation...

Boab looks puzzled.

Manager (to Producer) Here, let me... (to Boaby) The producers would love for you to do this commentary but... no swearing.

Boaby: Whit? Whit d'ye mean, nae fuckin' swearin'?

Producer: Well, the DVD is aimed at children and their parents.

Boaby: And?

Producer: And, as you have amply proved this afternoon, your language can be on the colourful side.

Boaby: That's fuckin' freedom of expression, pal, ah cannae be held tae society's rules, take me or leave me.

Producer: Well, all things considered I think we might le...

Manager (interrupting): ... I think what we're trying to say is that we want the pure unadulterated Bobby Gillespie....

A serious looking Boab nods furiously.

Manager: ... but with maybe a little moderation in the language.

Boaby: Moderation? Moderation? Ah cannae even spell moderation!

Producer: Now that I can believe.

Boaby: Don't get me wrang, ah'd love tae dae some'hin' like a fuckin' DVD commentary, in fact ah've goat an idea tae dae a track by track commentary oan oor 2013 album, "Mair Light", ye heard it, big yin?

Producer: Me? No, can't say I have. Was it a hit?

Manager: Hmmmmmmm.

Boaby: The thing is, ah'm fae Glesga, whit the fuck dae ah know aboot sheep? Ye'd be better aff gettin' some Teuchter tae dae it or, better still, some Welsh cunt - here, that's an idea!

Producer (checking watch): What is?

Boaby: Ah could gie ye yon Nicky Wire's phone number - they'd be gled o' the work, (sotto voce) huv ye heard their last album? (pinches nose).

Manager: Bobby, if we could get back to the...

Producer (looking desperately for an out): ... no no no, this Nicky, er...

Boaby: ... Wire...

Producer: This Nicky Wire sounds like she...

Boaby: ... he...

Producer: He could be what we're looking for...

Manager: ... but ...

Producer: Guys, I really have to go, I've got another meeting way across town...

Manager: ... but we haven't...

Producer (rising from chair): I'd love to stay a bit longer but time...

Boaby (who has been ineptly scrolling through his phone all this time): But ah've no found Nicky Wire's number fur ye yet.

Producer (now at door): Just, er, get in touch with my PR when you, er, find it...

Manager: ... but we never even...

Producer: Later.

Boaby (cheerily): Don't call us, we'll call...

Door slams.

Boaby: ... you.

As the Producer stands pressed against the door, breathing heavily, we can hear Boaby's voice in the background.

Boaby (muffled): Huv ye seen "Electra Glide in Blue"? It's aboot this wee cunt who's a polis, a motorbike polis mind ye, and he's played by William Blake...

Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Monday, 13 January 2020 19:15 (six months ago) link

okay i’m gonna nudge the shaun the sheep movie up to. a gentleman’s 6.5/10 for inspiring this latest tom d opus, great work everyone

que pasa picasso (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 13 January 2020 19:53 (six months ago) link

this is my favourite thing from 2020

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 13 January 2020 20:40 (six months ago) link

it’s not fair copying and pasting transcripts of the real Shaun The Sheep commentary from a website for the hearing-impaired, Tom, you used to put some effort in on these

don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Monday, 13 January 2020 20:48 (six months ago) link

bravo Tom!

Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 13 January 2020 21:29 (six months ago) link

I thought I've done so many of these I should catalogue them, but it turns out I haven't done as many as I'd thought - there's only three of them on this thread for a start, the rest are scattered all over the place. In all there's been 12 since 2011 with three separate years when there were absolutely none at all! There's the distinct possibility that I might have missed some though.

THE CHRONICLES OF BOABY (Parts 1 to 12)

1. "Gott in himmel, Englander schwein!"
Boaby phones Kevin Shields to complain that the remaster of "Screamadelica" he approved was carried out by 'some cunt naebody's heard o''. Boaby then phones Holger Czukay to try to persuade him to oversee an alternative remaster, much to Holger's chagrin.

2. "... gie's ma heid ower, wull ye?"
Believing that the Wombles have reformed to play "Screamadelica" in its entirety at Glastonbury, Boab has agreed to make a guest appearance... while wearing a Womble suit... this despite his concerns that it will render him incapable of playing his primary instrument, the tambourine. Backstage, after Mike Batt informs him that the Wombles are actually playing "Keep On Wombling" in its entirety, and not "Screamadelica", Boaby phones McGee in a state of high dudgeon.

3. "Naw, ah've no goat time tae listen tae how you discovered Oasis!"
McGee phones Boab to tell him that a Primal Scream track was just played at the Tory Party Conference and that he should release a statement disassociating the band from it. Boab reluctantly agrees but is secretly pleased that his mammy can get to hear his band played on the telly.

4. "UP THE WORKERS!"
Following on from the previous phone call, Boaby goes on a date with Home Secretary Theresa May. Boab is charm itself, within reason, but the evening ends badly when Theresa admits to mistaking the Primal Scream track "Rocks", as played at the Tory Party Conference, for a Rolling Stones song.

5. "Gonny leave me alaine?"
Boaby and Momus have a desultory conversation where Boaby denies ever having toured Germany with Momus or having had sex with a woman called Helga in Hamburg. Boaby's Glaswegian sensibilities are doubly offended by Momus' use of Paisley dialect. That's (abstruse) entertainment!

6. "A scrawny auld duffer wi' a pair o' mad shades oan."
Suicide are playing at the Barbican. Boaby shows up backstage, and immediately rubs Marty Rev up the wrong way by claiming to have written "Dream Baby Dream". Later he mistakes Alan Vega for his father.

7. "You know me, ah know fuck a' aboot fuck a'."
Boaby is 'ower the moon' about a cool avant garde film he has appeared in, playing Gilles de Rais, until McGee bursts his ba' by pointing out that Gilles de Rais was a rapist, a paedophile and a necrophiliac.

8. (aims kick at family pet)
In a domestic scene, which is something of a departure for the Boaby Chronicles, Boab tries to order a book by Julian Cope using Alexa but Alexa singularly fails to understand Boab's accent (join the club).

9. "... 12 actually, mate."
McGee phones Boaby to tell him about the launch of his newest label Creation23, Boab is underwhelmed. Worse is to follow as McGee tries to persuade Boab to get Primal Scream to record a single for the new label. Boab refuses and, for a change, has some fun at McGee's expense.

10. "Here, ah'll fuckin' delete you in a minute."
Following his controversial appearance on the "This Week" and the disparaging remarks concerning it on Twitter made by the show's host, Andrew 'Andra' Neil, Boaby phones to register his disapproval. After some more recondite banter about the differences between Paisley and Glasgow dialects, which absolutely no-one other than the author understands or appreciates, Andra outwits Boab and leaves Boab cursing him and his alma mater.

11. "... a 90 minute album of a fuckin' tap runnin'."
Boaby hears that a number of celebrities have signed a letter, for publication in the press and other media, in support of a Jeremy Corbyn premiership. Annoyed that he was not asked to contribute he phones one of its signatories, Brian Eno, with predictable results.

12. "And your point is, caller?"
Boaby visits his manager's office where is offered the chance to do a commentary for the DVD of "Shaun the Sheep: The Movie". He demurs.

Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:11 (six months ago) link

would genuinely pay real actual money for a book of these

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:14 (six months ago) link

need to preface all of those with "In which..."

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:15 (six months ago) link

def up there with ILM's other greatest contributions to the field of literature, "the Tragedie of Michael Jackson, King of Pop" and "The Interior Life of Noel Gallagher: A Speculative History"

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:17 (six months ago) link

"Boaby is 'ower the moon' about a cool avant garde film he has appeared in, playing Gilles de Rais, until McGee bursts his ba' by pointing out that Gilles de Rais was a rapist, a paedophile and a necrophiliac."

an absolute classic of the genre!

I can remember some goth tool having a Gilles de Rais book published on the short lived publishing wing of McGee's and being involved with the running of it.

https://reprobatepress.com/2019/01/19/cry-havoc-the-church-of-raism/

calzino, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 23:33 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUivKpdk810

Could be wrong, but I'm fairly certain he wasn't listening to house music in '88 while stumbling about stages with his Louise Brooks bob and polka dot, la la la shirt.

Maresn3st, Friday, 21 February 2020 22:25 (five months ago) link

What about the Pastels, Bobby?

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Friday, 21 February 2020 22:33 (five months ago) link

Was he aboard a boat or something there?

ymo sumac (NickB), Friday, 21 February 2020 22:42 (five months ago) link

The Good Ship Candyflip iirc

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 22:45 (five months ago) link

c'mon Nick don't take it too personal that he dissed running, he's into wobbling!

calzino, Friday, 21 February 2020 22:45 (five months ago) link

jesus, mary and joseph my cramps have come back!

calzino, Friday, 21 February 2020 22:50 (five months ago) link

Probably had itchy bollocks from his leather trousers poor lad

ymo sumac (NickB), Friday, 21 February 2020 22:51 (five months ago) link

also very cool that he's wearing ss insignia there, I'm sure that himmler would've had prinal scream in his top three bands too

ymo sumac (NickB), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:20 (five months ago) link

I see some kind of skull(?) and a star but not an SS insignia

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:24 (five months ago) link

I guess that could be a totenkopf

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:25 (five months ago) link

it's the ss totenkopf xp

ymo sumac (NickB), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:25 (five months ago) link

Swastika Ayes

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:27 (five months ago) link

I see some kind of skull(?) and a star but not an SS insignia

― Οὖτις, Friday, February 21, 2020 3:24 PM (twenty-seven seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah it's a SS-totenkopfverbände insignia

frederik b. godt (jim in vancouver), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:31 (five months ago) link

lol Tom

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:31 (five months ago) link

it might have been amongst the last images millions of Jews saw, but I think it looks pretty fucking braw oan mah leather jaiket!

calzino, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:38 (five months ago) link

disappointed oar Boaby tbh

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:40 (five months ago) link

disappointed IN oar Boaby

Οὖτις, Friday, 21 February 2020 23:40 (five months ago) link

Glaikit in a leather jaikit.

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:42 (five months ago) link

that's blitzkrieg boab to you pal

ymo sumac (NickB), Friday, 21 February 2020 23:43 (five months ago) link

lol Tom

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Saturday, 22 February 2020 00:41 (five months ago) link

Achtung Boaby

Maresn3st, Saturday, 22 February 2020 13:16 (five months ago) link

*giggles*

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Saturday, 22 February 2020 13:45 (five months ago) link

"Afterwards, he called me in the early hours and said: “Bobby, it was insane. Weatherall played Loaded and the whole place went ballistic.” He told me that Mick Jones (from the Clash) and Kevin Rowland (from Dexys Midnight Runners) had come up to him afterwards and shook his hand."

bidfurd, Sunday, 23 February 2020 13:44 (five months ago) link

^ From an appreciation by Bobby of Andy Weatherall in the Observer. I thought he actually managed to get through the entire piece without resorting to bullshit.

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Sunday, 23 February 2020 13:49 (five months ago) link

Does manage to make it all about himself though..

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 23 February 2020 14:07 (five months ago) link

Not as much as I'd feared!

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Sunday, 23 February 2020 14:18 (five months ago) link

I actually thought that - The Guardian interview - was all right.

djh, Sunday, 23 February 2020 18:55 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

You couldn't make it up. For those with Freeview, "The Ronnie Wood Show" on London Live, Ronnie talks to Bobby Gillespie about his favourite records. A subdued Bobby, perhaps realizing he's no competition for Ronnie Wood, coming across as a studious indie nerd.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 09:47 (four months ago) link

Bobby choosing a track from "I've Got My Own Album to Do" of course... which is rubbish.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 09:50 (four months ago) link

Most of the show consisting of songs being played while Ronnie and Bobby sit listening and bobbing their heads. London Live at its best.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 09:52 (four months ago) link

We don't get "London Live"

Never mind, ay?

Mark G, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:54 (four months ago) link

Ronnie doing that annoying thing guitarists do when you're trying to listen to a record, picking up a guitar and trying to play along.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 09:54 (four months ago) link

OK, so I get it, it's actually a filmed radio show, shot for Sky Arts in 2012 - Jesus, what does Ronnie look like now.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 09:57 (four months ago) link


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