R. Kelly - "Trapped in the Closet - Chapter 6"

that lip-syncing bullshit was yet another ego trip on a show even more full of them than usual.

now, that said, id love to see Chapter 6 in the format of 1-5 (ie: as a video with real actors)

Genius.

I love the idea that "Trapped in the Closet" could turn into a wiki. Ludacris' version would be great but Bowling for Soup would eff it all up, of course.

I really hope that the cop shows up in Chapter 7 in an attempt to either steal Kathy from Rufus or to initiate a threesome. That just seems perfect to me ...

I actually hadn;t even heard the the 5-part recording until tonight (a little behind on my r&b, clearly), but it's EASILY the best piece of pop music I've heard all year. Deserves to be single of the year, even if that's probably either going to be "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" or "Since U Been Gone" at this point, right?

"Rufus is all 'Chuck, did I mention? Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines...'" "Chuck be all up like 'WTF??!!'"

Gross.

This was horrible. it had none of waht the other chapters had. no over the top camp at all. just boring drama. was chuck and rufus kissing supposed to be surprsing?

I guess we're supposed drive ourselves crazy wondering if Chuck is a) bisexual, or b) a closeted gay man who is married to a woman. However, Chuck's character is poorly developed compared to the other major players, so I'm not sure what reason we'd have to care about his story.

Also, the "chuck said rufus said kathy said x 5739393" part was more over the top than anything in Parts 1-5.

I didn't really take it that way, more that he's "cured" of cheating in general. Rufus' final moment with Chuck is tender. I think if R. Kelly wanted to make a statement on curing homosexuality, Rufus wouldn't have kissed Chuck. And Chuck would have spontaneously combusted, burning in hell right before our ears. R's been a lot more sensitive about the gay thing than I ever would have suspected. Plus the whole pro-marriage vows stance seems more in line with "Closet" and Robert's brand of retardation.

Anyway, I posted an MP3 of "Part 6" that I recorded from the show. It's here:

http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2005/08/reloaded_or_ret.html

Chapter 6: Phantom Menace...big letdown.

This is one of those songs I don't want to ever end, like Dylan's Highlands.

haha that's a good comparison actually...lots of dialogue in each....

Rich has a point, but I still think the cheer at the end when Rufus goes back to kathy was a bit...ugh.

How many on the DL dudes do you know who are bi like that?!

(xp haha @ the idea that madonna+britney kiss has anything to do with the assault homosexuality poses on our family values!!!)

To me, this is the most interesting part of the "Closet" ordeal, which I felt wasn't clever enough to merit its bombast. I'm kinda sorry that I doubted him.

as opposed to my 9th grade drama class, when doing this sort of thing was an assignment

"My niece has got it/ Cherise has got it"

less MTV fights

more slow-jam challenge throw-downs!!!

this is exactly what i thought
there is no circumstance where that performance was not absurd- the only debate is "brilliantly absurd or just absurd?"

he was marcel marceau'ing his ass off...

i may never say "what the fuck?" with any greater conviction again in my lifetime

I say Rufus keeps vacillating between Chuck and Kathy until they both get sick of him; he's outed and disgraced before his flock; he becomes a preacher to homeless gay men, ending up so destitute and dejected he takes $55 to do a video from the site bumpee.com where these two obnoxious frat boy types pay homeless guys to receive golden showers; um, R. Kelly sees the video and recognizes Rufus as the guy from trapped in the closet and takes pity on him; on the eve of R.'s sentencing for his k1dd1e pZrn conviction they escape to a secret island R. owns.

Episode 100: they spoon all night.

Turn your brains off, it's just fun, you know?

well, that alone would make it an accomplishment !

You're Macy Gray?

Now soon as I left Cathys house, they all get up of the floor
then Rufus says Chuck are you okey, then Cathy closes the door
then Chuck said Rufus what the hell just happened, then Rufus said I'll tell ya
she just almost got us shot, right here in this room
then Cathy says you got nerve, almost got you shot? when you sneeking in and out of hotels with him and not telling what I got
Chuck says and what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says: figure it out!
he says: uhhhhhh Rufus, she do'nt know me, I will cut this bitch right now
come on and try it
wait I swear to God, try it
just try it
Rufus I swear to God, try it
come on, try it
come on, CALM YOUR ASS DOWN!
Rufus says, Rufus says Chuck we'll talk about it later
then Cathy says this shit is said
Chuck says Rufus I'm leaving, are you coming?
Cathy says Rufus, then Chuck says Rufus
Rufus looks at Chuck and says: Chuck you know I love you
Chuck says well lets go he said but I love her too
then Chuck says Rufus what about the things you told me, the things we did, the places we went, the love you made to me..
then Cathy says wait a minute, now I've heard enough of this bull
Chuck says me too, Rufus lets go can't you see the stunt she's trying to pull?
Rufus says I said nobody's going nowere, to we figure this out
Cathy says like I said, it ain't nothing to figure out, so get this fool up out my house
then Rufus said: your house is my house too and I say he stays
Chuck says Rufus Im out of here
Rufus says Chuck hold up, just wait!
Cathy says let him go, Rufus, I need you and Chuck says Rufus I need you too
then Rufus says Chuck, Chuck says Rufus if I loved you(???) aint no telling what I would do (???)
then Cathy says Rufus,
Rufus says Cathy,
Chuck says Rufus,
Rufus says Chuck
then Cathy grabs him
then Chuck pulls him
then Cathy says Rufus, please, if you love me, dont let him ruin our lives
then Rufus looks at Cathy, then he lets go of Cathy, then he looks at Chuck
he walks over to Chuck, and then he kisses Chuck, then he says to Chuck: Chuck I'm sorry, but I'm going back to my wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!!!

Yup. Easily entertained right here. It was kinda like listening to a Madea play without paying a shitload of money.

Me, I found the performance completely half-arsed and disappointing, but enormously enjoyed watching how Kelly's disconnect from reality enabled him to deliver something so half-arsed and disappointing in such an earnest manner.

some facts gleaned:
the saga is written through chapter 22.
chuck's backstory: he was a transvestite hustler in san francisco who moved to chicago and was saved by rufus' preaching.
twan's backstory: he was running drugs from chicago to atlanta and got busted, and he's just getting out of prison.
the guy playing the cop in chapters 6-12 (out on dvd on 11/1) is not the same guy who played the cop in chapter 4's original edit.

also r kelly did an amazing imitation of himself as an old man, asking what chapter he was up to.

finally, a gun that was introduced in the first segment does, indeed, go off.

The Intraweb really suxxor sometimes. Deej's feeling is totally justified. So is hstencil's disagreement with it.

So let's call each other nasty names and behave like schoolchildren! YEAH!!!

Besides, only Chapter 1 was any good, anyway.

hold tight lioness on this one

"Rufus says Chuck we'll talk about it later
then Cathy says this shit is said
Chuck says Rufus I'm leaving, are you coming?
Cathy says Rufus, then Chuck says Rufus
Rufus looks at Chuck and says: Chuck you know I love you"

Surely this is lame. Maybe it works if it's performed by more than one guy but as a one man performance this was just laughable.