Will you ever HATE music?

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I think the time might eventually come when I get rid of it all. It seems to be a source of frustration lately. I keep wanting to repeat the experience of enjoying music, but I don't enjoy it and it leaves me feeling empty. (Yes, Buddhism etc. discusses this kind of problem at great length, I know).

A similar thing happens when I stay online for too long; maybe you recognize the emotion? It's like you want to stay on a little longer to hopefully find something to entertain yourself with, but time keeps going by and you keep feeling worse. Well, that is the emotion that creeps up when I'm listening to music lately. I've finally identified it. It is the opposite of enjoyment. It is a mix of boredom, restlessness, uneasiness, discomfort and depression combined with the realization that a pastime that used to make life feel so full has suddenly left a big gaping hole of emptiness that needs to be filled.

I can't figure out what to do instead. Music still seems better than everything else. Perhaps I am finally just realizing music is an escapist fantasyland, unreal and meaningless. Perhaps I am just bored with musical possibilities. Maybe it was the drugs all along that made it so interesting. Now that I've been sober for so long, I am finally faced with the cold, harsh reality that life is boring and music is not an effective means of transmuting it.

Maybe this is how people turn from sensitive artist types to competitive assholes! They turn to crushing others for a new hobby.

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate everything else right now except music. Music's probably the only thing keeping my sanity.

donut e- (donut), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, wait until that little slice of heaven dries up. See if you don't feel like crushing people for something to do. It seems almost like the natural reaction to "fight back" against life itself and other people are about as close as you can get to "life itself." Every notice how incredibly vapid, shallow people are often driven to win?

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Every notice - y = Ever notice

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea what you are talking about, but if I ever got tired of listening to music I'd just read more books.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, if i start to hate music, I'll at least be making bank via eBay or Gemm or whatever will be the equivalent by the time I divorce myself from Sweet Music, Ma' Lady.

donut e- (donut), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

That said I can't imagine getting tired of music. I might get tired of buying and actively seeking out new music though. But even that I doubt.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea what you are talking about, but if I ever got tired of listening to music I'd just read more books.

Fine. What if a landmine had taken your sight, taken your speech, taken your hearing, taken your arms and taken your legs? Then what would you do?

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Metallica references? MY GAWD.

The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:54 (eighteen years ago) link

MY GAWD.

Flaming Lips references? Wowee Zowee!

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Music's my water-wings in the public swimming pool of life.

xpost: what if you were trapped under ice?

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"Fine. What if a landmine had taken your sight, taken your speech, taken your hearing, taken your arms and taken your legs? Then what would you do?"

Hope that Bill Frist isn't my doctor.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 1 July 2005 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost: what if you were trapped under ice?

Now you're getting it. This is where I'm at, metaphorically speaking.

Blasphemer, Friday, 1 July 2005 22:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Perhaps you should take a 'break', then. Find something else you're into... or find new ways of experiencing music. Perhaps you've just gotten tired of the same routine..

As for the question at hand, I don't think I will ever actively hate music. Perhaps, when I'm much older, there'll come a time when I don't actively seek music out, or even listen to it much, (though I doubt that), but I surely wouldn't hate it, if only because of all the memories tied to my fave music.

The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Go back to the drugs. It's the only way.

sleep (sleep), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Blasphemer...maybe there's a type of music that you don't have, that would fit with how you're feeling. If you're feeling this bad, then the aim isn't always to cheer yourself up, or distract yourself. Find something that mirrors it, perhaps? Sometimes pushing yourself just a little further towards feeling something can make the difference. But I don't want to be all twee and tell you it'll be fine, you'll find a good song & it'll be better...because by the sounds of it, there might be more to it than that.

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I am finally faced with the cold, harsh reality that life is boring and music is not an effective means of transmuting it.

You've already answered your own question, haven't you? This isn't about hating music, it's trying to look for something to fill the emptiness and finding out that music doesn't do it for you all the time. You need another hobby, you need change, you need new people in your life, you need to travel, you need like, I don't know man, do you know about Jebus?

"No bad religion song can make your life complete."

I've got that "I don't listen to music when I'm down" too, I suppose, but I've got enough to keep me interested and occupied, and before I know it I'm back whistling my favourite Joy Division tunes.

StanM (StanM), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:18 (eighteen years ago) link

I recognise this feeling with music, with video games, being on-line, reading and with drugs too (they're no panacea for ennui).

It occurs when I'm not satisfied in my current life and these activities just wont take the weight of what I want them to do - make things better. But I take a break, it passes, and music is enjoyable again.

Bob Six (bobbysix), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:25 (eighteen years ago) link

all the time, 24/7

jack cole, a senior citizen who lives alone with his cat (jackcole), Friday, 1 July 2005 23:33 (eighteen years ago) link

porn

fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Saturday, 2 July 2005 00:05 (eighteen years ago) link

(is the answer)

fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Saturday, 2 July 2005 00:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I did for awhile recently, after realizing at long last that I was using it as an emotional crutch - and one that didn't even work that well. But it turns out that I like music better than its social aspect. I'm much more comfortable with it now.

mike a, Saturday, 2 July 2005 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Music's not always escapist. It can be downright confrontational.

Ian Riese-Moraine has been xeroxed into a conduit! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 2 July 2005 12:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, Buddhism etc. discusses this kind of problem at great length, I know

explore further?

jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Saturday, 2 July 2005 15:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Anytime I found myself "getting tired of music," it usually meant I had been exposed to music I didn't necessarily like.

As much time and space as music takes up in my world, I still have enuff of a social life that I don't have to ask questions like this.

No offense to the Blasphemer, but it seems like almost EVERY damn music e-group from Maine to Mexico eventually gets this kind of "meaning-of-life" post: "I'm tired of music, where shall I turn?" "Oh, I feel so empty because music isn't all there is in my life," etc..

Part of me wants to tell them to just take a break and not do anything music-related for awhile.

The other part of me wants to scold them for announcing that they're tired of music - on a music-oriented e-group, mind you - and killing everybody else's fun! :-)

But seriously, Blasphemer...just get away from it all. If you find yourself coming back to it, or if you notice yourself staying away from it, that will be your answer right there. Just let the whole thing take its' course. Hope that wasn't too insensitive, but half the time when music freaks (NOT YOU) make this kind of tired-of-music statement, it seems like it's primarily done to bum the rest of us out.

Rev. Hoodoo (Rev. Hoodoo), Saturday, 2 July 2005 15:41 (eighteen years ago) link

No offense to the Blasphemer, but it seems like almost EVERY damn music e-group from Maine to Mexico eventually gets this kind of "meaning-of-life" post: "I'm tired of music, where shall I turn?" "Oh, I feel so empty because music isn't all there is in my life," etc..

How can I not be offended? All those posts are by me! I've been having this problem for quite a while and no music e-group from Maine to Mexico that I've found can help me!

Blasphemer, Saturday, 2 July 2005 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, if that's the case, then reread my last paragraph in my previous post. Get the hell away from music for a while, then see if you go running back...

Rev. Hoodoo (Rev. Hoodoo), Saturday, 2 July 2005 15:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I went through a period when I hated music--I just didn't want to hear it. I definitely didn't want to go to clubs, clubs had been my workplace, not my fun space. I had been immersed on all aspects of music and the business of it for too many years. I think I was tired.

I think I'm coming out of that this year. It's like coming out a deep depression, little by little I find myself wanting to hear old favorites and discover new stuff.

I'm still not to the point where I want to go to clubs again with any regularity. I would rather talk to the musicians themselves in a less hyper situation, like a BBQ or something, and appreciate their recordings separately. Going to clubs still feels like its a job, a duty. I don't know if I'll ever bounce back from that.

I don't feel "empty" because of this though. My interests turned to other things, like art. I started going to galleries instead of gigs. I still like musicians, and often see them at art events, so it's not like I'm isolated from the people--and that's the important part to me.

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 2 July 2005 18:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Man.. this thread is such a downer...

The Brainwasher (Twilight), Saturday, 2 July 2005 20:49 (eighteen years ago) link

this may sound kind of stupid, but there are three records I listen to when I'm in the I don't want to listen to music but I've got a 30 minute drive to work so fuck it sort of mood.

joy division - unknown pleasures
slint - spiderland
aphex twin - richard d james album/ ambient works vol. 2 (whichever I see first)

Jamey Lewis (Jameys Burning), Thursday, 7 July 2005 02:56 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe you need to stop listening to ye ole favorites and turn to, say, galina ustvolskaya's piano sonatas. you won't hear music the same way afterwards.

you will be shot (you will be shot), Thursday, 7 July 2005 03:31 (eighteen years ago) link

since you mention the drug use, i believe its common for junkies to go through period after sober where not able to enjoy things as before - i think its neurotransmitter related...your body gets used to a certain amount of flooding after awhile and just doesn't respond to the lower amounts. and it could be psychological, but how do you separate the two? i don't kown the remedy to this but my intuition says abstinence from pleasure inducing activities could help bring the threshold down. atleast stop listening to the music and mining it for pleasure -that will only cause major frustration. in general you need to lay low! also, i have felt this way when depressed...all beautiful things cease to deliver--colors/sounds seem duller than usual, patterns seem meaningless. it IS like looking at the world thru the eyes of a banker-it is dreadful.

Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 7 July 2005 04:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Orbit OTM. That's the point I got to about two years ago.

MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:13 (eighteen years ago) link

"...It is a mix of boredom, restlessness, uneasiness, discomfort and depression combined with the realization that a pastime that used to make life feel so full has suddenly left a big gaping hole of emptiness that needs to be filled."

I get this all the time too. I'm increasingly turning off background music when I'm reading or pottering about or whatever, and then not bothering to turn it back on...

It feels like I've heard everything before, no matter what new direction I go in. I just can't get as excited about the sixth Super Furries LP as I was about the fifth, which was in turn less than the fourth etc etc. There's a tiny part of me that would love to be that naive 14 year old raving to his mate on the bus about the Kaiser Chiefs or Razorlight or whatever.

Perhaps this whole thread is really just about growing up, that adult life should involve something bigger and more serious than obsessing about fucking records.

I've always had a sneaking suspicion that the 'kidult' culture which permits adults to listen to rock 'n roll (and envelop themselves in Star Wars, £400 imported designer trainers or whatever) was foremost a clever marketing ploy.

Fucking hell this thread really is a downer.


D.G. Jones (D.G. Jones), Saturday, 9 July 2005 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think it's a downer really. It's just a reality, growing up as you said, esp. for those of us who spent a long time in business end of it as performers, working at labels etc. Sometimes I think it's better to be a fan. If a fan gets tired of music, they can just get another interest. When someone in the music business gets tired of music, they need a new *profession*!

Someone I knew than ran an established indie label, and had been a rock journalist said to me once "This music ruined my life!" and I knew what he meant. I think I heard Stevie Nicks say this in an interview once, and I agree--you miss out on the "normal life" things and then you're old.

Then you have to make a transition to "civilian life" and it is NOT easy. I recently made that transition, and now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm starting to be able to listen to music with some enthusiasm again.

Thanks for the OTM kate, I know you've been there. Your band was the last one that I had any enthusiasm for, and unfortunately in the middle of all that, I started to enter my phase of running away from anything related to music business. I'm sorry I didn't get to carry out all the promo ideas I had.

I still don't think it's a downer though, it's just real life. I had a really long conversation about this this with Dee, and I can't recreate it here, but guess in all this blithering what I am saying is whether fan or music worker bee, it's not the end of the world if you lose interest in music for a while--it signals that some kind of change is needed/is happening in your life.

Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 10 July 2005 18:12 (eighteen years ago) link

i'll never hate music, just myself for spending more money on it than i can afford

hobo sapien, Sunday, 10 July 2005 19:13 (eighteen years ago) link

The only time I hated music was when I took 22 mushrooms, blended finely and mixed with grape juice. It rushed into me as the Harmony Rockets (aka Mercury Rev) "Paralyzed Mind of the Archangel Void" was playing at full blast. It sent me farther over the edge than I ever wanted to go. It was then that I understood that there's nothing cool about the mental problems of Brian Wilson, Syd Barret, Roky Erikson, etc. Of course, this should have been obvious, but I was young and dumb. My friends found me curled up on the back porch of my dead grandmother's house, under a blanket, declaring that music was the work of the devil. They offered to change the music, and I told them to put in Miles Davis's "Kind of Blue", the one with the blue cover. They put in "In A Silent Way" by mistake. Back into the void.....

I eventually got over it, and with the help of CAN, all is well. Have you listened to CAN much? They're good for what ails ya. When I feel stuck with music, I'll usually veer off into a genre that I'm not familiar with, and that will keep things fresh.

Joseph Cowart (Joseph Cowart), Monday, 11 July 2005 06:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Some good advice on here...it definitely seems like a matter of changing your habits in order to combat indifference in general. I mean, music can be as fundamental as life itself just as it can be meaningless, insufferable hipster posturing.

My advice would be to leave the portable music player at home, go to the park on a nice day and just take in the peaceful ambience. Try to get that balance back. And you know, the park's always full of nice people. Works for me.

a Side-walkin' Street Wheeler (aaron ef.), Monday, 11 July 2005 18:20 (eighteen years ago) link


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