rock & roll hootchie haiku

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Whiskey bottle
Brand new car
Oak tree you're in my way

(the meter can vary)

Luke Havergal, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:29 (fifteen years ago) link

That's not a haiku. Meter can vary, but syllables are 5-7-5. Like so:

Pedantic Asshole
Corrects a Stranger' Verse
On the Internet

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:36 (fifteen years ago) link

Sorry, that is:

Pedantic asshole
Corrects a stranger's verse
On the Internet

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:37 (fifteen years ago) link

for a more tragic rock feel:

Overdosed drummer
Floating in the swimming pool
Choked on own vomit

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:40 (fifteen years ago) link

syllables are 5-7-5

cor-rects-a-stran-gers-verse = 6

ahem, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:41 (fifteen years ago) link

would you believe 'poem'?

good catch.

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:43 (fifteen years ago) link

Listening to Suede
Film star - what a crazy song!
Influenced White Stripes?

Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:47 (fifteen years ago) link

KISS's best album
Ask Alex in N-Y-C
Its Elder for me

Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Which version is best
From Derringer or Winter
Hoochie-Koo Debate

Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Frankly I'm amazed
That Matt Cibula didn't
Begin this here thread

Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Have you heard the news?
There's good rockin' at midnight.
Gonna hold my baby.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:06 (fifteen years ago) link

D'oh!

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Your guitar's too high
Lengthen the strap a little
More more more that's it

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:24 (fifteen years ago) link

indie shoe gazers are
mostly sallow, need more sun
spandex would help too

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 00:03 (fifteen years ago) link

VegemiteGrrl
Is a saucy Aussie lass
Who likes the rock stuff

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 00:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Ned is a boy who
sneaks up on me when I am
sure no-one is watching

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:51 (fifteen years ago) link

all you poseurs get
back in line for gubmint cheese
THE MASTER IS BACK

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:54 (fifteen years ago) link

sly never outdid
'i'm on a trip to your heart'--
but then no one did

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:58 (fifteen years ago) link

full moon's tawny light
I was born to walk alone
yea, like a drifter

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:59 (fifteen years ago) link

we both gasped in awe:
prince naked on purple sheets!
then we so made out

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:02 (fifteen years ago) link

'the wonderful and
frightening world of the fall':
aural lysol douche

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:03 (fifteen years ago) link

all that dude would say
about phife's solo mixtape
was 'wack on both sides'

(i stole that joke)

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:04 (fifteen years ago) link

argh mike reno's ass!
everywhere...haunting me...
nineteen eighty one

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:06 (fifteen years ago) link

do not ask for whom
that insane clock necklace tolls;
it tolls for thee BOING

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:09 (fifteen years ago) link

Mike Reno was tough
He's got to do it his way
Or no way at all

Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:11 (fifteen years ago) link

Mike Reno was down
on his knees, making love to
whoever he please

Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Remember the time
in the closet, off the wall?
Heal the world. Shamone!

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:23 (fifteen years ago) link

all I know of life
I learned from sir isaac hayes
true guerrilla pimp

Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:35 (fifteen years ago) link

My mama loves me
Down on her knees, she hugs me
Loves me like a rock

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:42 (fifteen years ago) link

Well, you went uptown
riding in your limousine -
Park Avenue clothes

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:50 (fifteen years ago) link

If you said bye to
Me tonight there would still
Be music left write

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 04:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Austin you've not only failed at the rules you set out but those rules are wrong. Haikus don't have to be 5-7-5. They do, however, need a break, or breath, or caesura or whatever the fuck you want to call it, after the first, or second, line. For starters. You can't just choose a sentence with 17 syllables and call it a haiku. For fuck's sake!

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:33 (fifteen years ago) link

haha!

it's like a jungle
sometimes it makes me wonder
how i keep from go

mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:36 (fifteen years ago) link

wing understands beak
eyes call to the feet and say
"bock bock! chicken chick-"

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:40 (fifteen years ago) link

I never heard of no haiku that lacked the 5-7-5 pattern, but I'm willing to learn from someone who knows better than I do. Which could be almost anyone. Also, in my understanding each of the first two lines traditionally describes a different aspect of a single image and the third ties them together. But as I say - poetry in general ain't my strong suit.

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:02 (fifteen years ago) link

You gotta nice ass!
I like the way you walk girl!
Fries come with that shake?

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Sorry, I don't know why I got so exercised about it.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:05 (fifteen years ago) link

So...no duel at dawn then? Damnit!

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:09 (fifteen years ago) link

when you're sitting back
in your rose pink cadillac
send me dead flowers


gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:28 (fifteen years ago) link

Come along and ride
On a fantastic voyage
Slide slippity slide

My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:31 (fifteen years ago) link

And right now, right now
It's time to KICK OUT THE JAMS
BROTHERS AND SISTERS

My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:32 (fifteen years ago) link

there's a man outside
in a long coat, gray hat
smoking a cigarette

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:34 (fifteen years ago) link

all you poseurs get
back in line for gubmint cheese
THE MASTER IS BACK

-- Haikunym

Haikunym: Master?
Many agree; but ask me
I Beg2Differ

Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 07:04 (fifteen years ago) link

When I was just a
Baby, my mama said don't
Ever play with guns

But I shot a man
Back in Reno, Nevada
Just to watch him die

And that train whistle
When I hear it blowin' I
Hang my head and cry

Glading the Wanderer, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I can see for miles
I can see for miles and miles
Miles and miles and miles

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

Master of Puppets
Pulled your strings twisted your mind,
smashed your dreams MASTER

Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Life, it fades away
Drifting further everyday
Lost within myself

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:56 (fifteen years ago) link

seven months pass...
Man in a trenchcoat
Badge out, laid-off, says "Bad cough"
Look out, kid - thing done.

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 15 November 2005 06:14 (fifteen years ago) link

Morrissey and Marr
and Westerberg and Stinson.
Mick and Keef to thread.

A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 19:06 (fifteen years ago) link


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