Defend the Indefensible: Jack Johnson

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
John Mayer with the IQ knob turned down halfway, funk-in-10-lessons guitar playing, patented pantie-moistening hushed voice(TM), nothing's-ever-been-wrong attitude, probably sat on the porch of his off campus house all day playing Redemption Song, AAA-ready arrangements that sound like they could be the backing tracks for 50 other songs, borderline offensive 'black' enunciation ("wid dem tings dat I dun").

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:28 (nineteen years ago) link

He will one day pass from this mortal coil.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:29 (nineteen years ago) link

pro surfer, probably likes the "good" salsa

Silky Sensor (sexyDancer), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago) link

my defense: he's probably marginally better than Mos Def's rock band Black Jack Johnson

Al (sitcom), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago) link

He doesn't have long hair, like those hippies at his concerts.

Ashandeej, Friday, 18 March 2005 16:31 (nineteen years ago) link

There are one or two songs on his website that almost had me convinced he may be alright. Then, I downloaded one of his "best" shows for free and the entire thing sucked.

Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:33 (nineteen years ago) link

He doesn't have long hair, like those hippies at his concerts.

You mean girls? Your average male hippie these days has short hair and looks like a skater.

Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:34 (nineteen years ago) link

What songs almost convinced you? I'll give them an honest listen.

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:34 (nineteen years ago) link

i found the handsome boy modelling school song he was on tolerable

artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:35 (nineteen years ago) link

He learned to sing backwards for a video.

The Mad Puffin (The Mad Puffin), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:36 (nineteen years ago) link

He might not be a total douche in real life. But you can never tell.

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:39 (nineteen years ago) link

What songs almost convinced you? I'll give them an honest listen.

I have no idea. I went sampling at my lady's request expecting to hate and then I heard one or two that sounded almost like Sublime, but not necessarily a copycat of Sublime. The concert I heard sounded like Hurting's initial post.

Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:39 (nineteen years ago) link

He might not be a total douche in real life. But you can never tell.

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...)

i've never heard his music but he grew up on the north shore of oahu with a friend of mine and he's a really nice guy, you'd never imagine he was in the public eye by his personality. he also is married to a completely unrelated friend of mine's sister, and she's also very cool.

what does his music sound like?

gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

You mean girls? Your average male hippie these days has short hair and looks like a skater.

Nah that have that shaggy curly locks thing going on now.

deej., Friday, 18 March 2005 16:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, his name is nicely alliterative, and easy to spell, and he shares it with a legendary boxer.

Jason Toon, Friday, 18 March 2005 17:04 (nineteen years ago) link

I like the part when he says "I'm Jack Johnson, heavyweight champion of the world. I'm black. They never let me forget it."

Keith C (kcraw916), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Nah that have that shaggy curly locks thing going on now.

Last Phish show last year it was a sea of short hair, clean clothes and baggy pants.

Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:44 (nineteen years ago) link

phish fans != hippies. phish fans = frat boys.

Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

holy shit paradigm shift:
hippies = frat boys

Silky Sensor (sexyDancer), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link

phish fans = hippies
Frat boys listen to grateful dead and phish. Does that mean dead fans are not hippies? A lot more people NOT in frats listen to both.

If anything, Jack Johnson fans are not hippies.

Eleventy-Twelve (Eleventy-Twelve), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:10 (nineteen years ago) link

he IS a really nice guy and helps his drunk friend g-love by singing his songs and invited him on snl last week. he dabbles in lounge music on his new album and its not that bad. i opened up for him at the ventura surf rodeo in 2003 he was very very sweet.

charleston charge (chaki), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Handsome Boy Modelling School - White People6 Breakdown (feat Jack Johnson).mp3

ds022b, Friday, 18 March 2005 22:50 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't defend him. The most positive thing I can say is that whole surfer-dude-singing-sweetly-while-strumming-guitar schtick sure would pull him a whole lot of chicks at a beach party.
cf: Ben Harper
ccf: John Mayer (sub category: dorky-looking-smarty-pants-singing-sweetly and pulling chicks)

VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 19 March 2005 04:04 (nineteen years ago) link

I liked his duet with Ben Harper on "High Tide, Low Tide". It's about the only tolerable song featuring Jack.

buck van smack (Buck Van Smack), Saturday, 19 March 2005 04:28 (nineteen years ago) link

He's not Donovan Frankenreiter. That's all I have to say in defense of Jack Johnson.

Deluxe (Damian), Saturday, 19 March 2005 11:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I've never heard of him.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 19 March 2005 13:53 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
my girlfriend brought home 2 of his cd's exactly 2 days ago. I immediately sang, "shoes that look like feet" and pretended I was not too disappointed that I would have to listen to this around the house now. Turns out, it's great. Hating on this dude seems the ultimate in retarded. Once you actually listen enough to actually distinguish one song from the next (as you would anything else you were interested in), his lyrics are really great and his attitude is even better.

The music is certainly mellow as hell, but very 70s-ish in a very good way. One thing that is missing is unpleasant extremes the 70s artists would go to all the time-- no extreme funkiness, extreme acid guitar solo, extreme keyboard. And not extremely lame, either. As Bill Clinton once said, "Oh I see you sitting there with that little smirk on your face and you think you're so clever... do your little hit job." It's just good, happy music. Very understated which is a welcome change from your average asshole expressing himself. Like me, for instance. Ha, beat you to it.

the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 6 October 2006 23:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"Bubble Toes" is a great song.

sean gramophone (Sean M), Saturday, 7 October 2006 16:12 (seventeen years ago) link

He's not as bad as Jason Mraz.

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Damning with the faintest of praise there.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:10 (seventeen years ago) link

I just heard a Jason Mraz song on the radio and I was really dumbfounded. How in 2006 can someone still get away with a "carefree negro" minstrel routine on ostensibly liberal NYC radio?

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I suppose the key word there is 'ostensibly'

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:15 (seventeen years ago) link

one of my favourite miles records.

Godfrzej Ljang (godfrzej), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Weirdly, the first time I heard of him, I was talking about Herbie Hancock's Headhunters album with someone I work with, and he asked have you heard Jack Johnson? As you might imagine I assumed he was talking about Tribute to Jack Johnson but as it turned out apparently not.

T B (T B), Saturday, 7 October 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Jack Johnson should be forced to change his name to " 'Chillin' Jack Johnson" in order to avoid confusion.

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Saturday, 7 October 2006 18:02 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't mind that video where everything's backwards

RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Saturday, 7 October 2006 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I just heard a Jason Mraz song on the radio and I was really dumbfounded. How in 2006 can someone still get away with a "carefree negro" minstrel routine on ostensibly liberal NYC radio?

What really floors me is that someone played a Jason Mraz song on the radio in 2006.

hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 7 October 2006 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

In any year, really.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 October 2006 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Didn't he do the Curious George soundtrack? I like that little monkey, ha ha! Look at him! So curious! Good soundtrack choice I say.

Rowlando for the kidz (Sam Rowlands), Sunday, 8 October 2006 12:43 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought he was black for about a year, until I got around to watching one of his videos. I still tend to think of him as biracial.

King-a-Ling (King-a-Ling), Sunday, 8 October 2006 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

I liked his duet with Ben Harper on "High Tide, Low Tide"...
and he (seems like) a really nice guy, you'd never imagine he was in the public eye by his personality.

Ditto.

shorty (shorty), Sunday, 8 October 2006 14:42 (seventeen years ago) link

He's great in the sack.

Zachary Scott (Zach S), Sunday, 8 October 2006 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

...at the bottom of the sea?

Navek Rednam (Navek Rednam), Sunday, 8 October 2006 17:48 (seventeen years ago) link

two years pass...

I thought he was black for about a year, until I got around to watching one of his videos. I still tend to think of him as biracial.

― King-a-Ling (King-a-Ling), domingo 8 de octubre de 2006 15:28 (2 years ago)

Whoa, I've been thinking he was mulatto this whole time, sort of that extremetly attractive skin color that people like Lisa Bonet, Eagle Eye Cherry, Cree Summer and Lenny Kravitz have to name a few.
Somehow I remember watching that video of his that runs backwards and I certainly didnt think he looked white on that video. I had to google him after reading your comment and now I feel very dissapointed.

Moka, Thursday, 29 January 2009 18:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Anyways, I have some very good memories of a friend in Barcelona who loved this song of his named 'Coccoon' and I ended up liking it. Never really hated on his music, if anything it feels decaffeinated, too harmless but to be honest I'd rather have his music playing in the background than most of my friends' usual collection.

Moka, Thursday, 29 January 2009 19:02 (fifteen years ago) link

This guy should be posted on the WRONG DUDE thread.

lemmy tristano (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 29 January 2009 19:03 (fifteen years ago) link

When I first heard Jack Johnson, I thought he was old, like some middle-aged James Taylor-aspiree. And I thought, "This guy's pretty good for being so old."

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 29 January 2009 19:13 (fifteen years ago) link

When I first heard Jack Johnson, I thought he was really shitty.

MIRV Griffin (goole), Thursday, 29 January 2009 19:15 (fifteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

I heard this song on the radio and sorta liked it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVmbGsEtmFI

my brother thought I had some mental deficiency when I said I didn't care for jack johnson.."everyone likes jack johnson!!"

(we're from the southern california town that he's sorta from.)

iatee, Monday, 2 November 2009 22:24 (fourteen years ago) link

don't buy that curious george soundtrack for your kids. they won't like it. it's really boring and no fun at all. it's like the very opposite of curious george the monkey.

scott seward, Monday, 2 November 2009 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't have kids and I would probably teach them to soulseek it anyway

iatee, Monday, 2 November 2009 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't know how to throw a baseball so a lot of my fatherly bonding activities are gonna have to involve the internet

iatee, Monday, 2 November 2009 22:38 (fourteen years ago) link

I've never seen this fellow, and because they both have generic names beginning with 'J', the mental image I have of him is actually of James Morrison instead. Then I'll see some footage of James Morrison singing far too earnestly, and I'll remember that I've got 'Good People' on my iTunes and it's all sweet and summery - and I think 'Yeah! Jack Johnson's much better than James Morrison'.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 2 November 2009 22:54 (fourteen years ago) link

my brother thought I had some mental deficiency when I said I didn't care for jack johnson.."everyone likes jack johnson!!"

lolz I got this from my coworkers. They use Pandora a lot and continually marvel at how Jack Johnson will eventually appear on any radio station/playlist.

because I used to be a nuclear physicist (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 2 November 2009 22:56 (fourteen years ago) link

twelve years pass...

the p4k review for the new album makes me shocked they didn’t throw a BNM on it.

Western® with Bacon Flavor, Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:02 (one year ago) link

Every time this thread appears I have a momentary "wtf" reaction before I remember there's some singer called Jack Johnson

bury my heart in wounded kieth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:04 (one year ago) link

I enjoyed his first album quite a bit. In all honesty, I was in a kind of Dave Matthews period back then as it was.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:09 (one year ago) link

...his preternatural sense of sangfroid has sometimes crowded out his surprising depth as a world-weary songwriter in search of small moments of respite and delight.

Overwritten, but notable as the first time anytime has ever written "surprising depth" in relation to Jack Johnson.

The Ghost Club, Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:30 (one year ago) link

Well, if it's there, it's definitely surprising.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:49 (one year ago) link

I mean, he's stupidly good looking, he grew up and still lives in Hawaii, he's a surfer and a photographer when he's not making music. Not sure how much depth it's fair to expect of him.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 2 July 2022 20:50 (one year ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.