your body is a wonderland

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It's just a fucking DUMB title is what it is. I was already ill-disposed to the song for that reason alone (and then it was heard and I wanted to find someone and kill him or her, preferably Mr. Mayer but just as easily the exec who signed him up).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

You all get mad when Shakira claims that you're HER territory?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

You'd be bitching if he said "My Body Is A Wonderland, Use Your Hands."

john mayer = secret bloodhound gang fan?

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I choose to believe the song was written about Jennifer Love Hewitt's dinners. And that he likes to eat mashed taters off their peaks. Otherwise the song loses all its charm and my ass twitches.

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ned, you'll never get to swim in a deep sea of blankets with John with that attitude.

Carey, it can't be mashed taters. he says he's gonna use his hands!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

i don't know the song, but it seems a dumb line whatever the gender, and the mayer song is monomaniacally devoted to it.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

(i don't know the song = i don't know what shakira you're talking about)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

You all get mad when Shakira claims that you're HER territory?

Actually, I do think that song is fucking stupid as well (as does my wonderful wonderful wife).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dude, you can always use your hands for mashed taters.

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

Chorus to Shakira's Underneath Your Clothes.

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story. There's the man I chose, there's my territory. All the things I deserve, for being such a good girl, honey!

Frankly, I say conquer & be conquered and frikkin' chill out people.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Can you imagine J. Lo Hewitt saying "How does mommy's little piggy eat?" a la Christmas Story, while Mayer oinks. Yeah, you just went to a scary place.

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dear God!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

you just made the ILX laugh out loud list twice today, Carey. Now stop it! I'm at work. It's a little embarassing.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Carey's vision of JLH and piggy Mayer makes this song's existence somewhat bearable.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

But only just.

Ned, you'll never get to swim in a deep sea of blankets with John with that attitude.

And for that, I am deeply grateful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 22:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

I guess it's a nice enough, somewhat gawky lite-pop song, but what creeps me about it is how it also seems to be a not-so-sneaky booty-call enticing sensitive girls to give the groupie thing a try. I mean, have you SEEN the video (or pretty much any live JM footage)--if there are any guys down front singing along, they're vastly outnumbered by co-eds simultaneously undressing the singer with their eyes.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

how it also seems to be a not-so-sneaky booty-call enticing sensitive girls to give the groupie thing a try

The "Hot in Herre" for bohos?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Bohos=Bottled-up whores?

― Oops (Oops), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

the video for this film gets it creepily, unwatchably right: mr. mayer trails his girlfriend with a 8mm camera (oo! how chic!) while she demurely puts her hand over her face and runs away. i think it's a floral-print dress too.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

the video for this film = the video for this song

(where's my head at?)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

So is he sponsored by Delia's then?

― Oops (Oops), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Am I the only person here that doesn't have a problem w/ this song?

BTW - "With Arms Wide Open" blows; "One Last Breath" is IT re: Creed.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

also i hate the descending notes on "ha-a-a-ands," ugh.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Anthony's got yer back, Popshots. Otherwise....

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Right on! We're like Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid! Of course, I think I already jumped.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like the idea that it could be about vaginal fisting (use your hands, indeed) , but it probably isn't. I hate everything else about it.

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

i like this, its sweet and gentle, and seems genuinely respectful. its a little bland, but in that carpenters way.

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Provokes images of The Carpenters and Vaginal Fisting...Gentlemen, I think we got oursevles a number one hit!! Regenald- get Bilboard, NME and Rolling Stone on the phone right now!!!

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

David is right about Creed but wrong about this song.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Thursday, 13 February 2003 01:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

I never would normally call anybody a douchebag but yeah, I saw the video, and that's what he is all right. ugh.

― daria g, Thursday, 13 February 2003 03:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's like what if Dave Matthews sang Prince's worst song. What the fuck? Your Body Is A Wonderland is the most awkward phrase just about ever, and if anyone ever said that to me, I'd fucking deck them.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 13 February 2003 03:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

The first time I heard this song I thought, hmmmm... I wonder what ILM would have to say about this one? I mentioned in the Dave Matthews Brand thread and voila! How can I top any of these comments? I can't. Oh John Mayer. Your smug face has finally met its match!! I hope you never get laid again.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

"I love the shape you take when crawling
towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it"

(http://www.john-mayer-lyrics.com)

definitely written by his little sister in 8th grade and ripped out of her notebook in the middle of the night cause mayer's nose can smell hits coming from the next room. an unstoppable pop force!

seriously, john mayer is some depressing shit.

― ben sterling (frozen in time), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Your Body Is A Wonderland is the most awkward phrase just about ever, and if anyone ever said that to me, I'd fucking deck them.

hey ally, Your Body Is A Wonderland.

i never go to NYC FAPs!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 13 February 2003 04:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

Bland songs I can stand, but not bland songs with the worst title for a song ever. Yuck. This song probably wouldn't have registered on my radar either if not for the title.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Wally Pleasant's version = Your Body Is Wonderland Mall

― Andy K (Andy K), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

His Xmas CD will include "Your Body Is a Winter Wonderland" of course.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Lamest song name ever, possibly?"

I dunno, it might not have enough to beat "E-Mail My Heart."

All the girls at my college seem to love this song. It's so romantic, they tell me, but all I hear is a fratboy trying to convince a gullible co-ed that he's a "poet" so she'll let his body in her wonderland. I do like to imagine this song as sung by R. Kelly, though.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

the line that makes my skin crawl is "one pair of candy lips / and / a bubblegum tongue" -- the bubbleum ref is supposed to sound all twee or whatever but ecccchhhh.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 13 February 2003 06:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

You know what would be cool, is if the video had GWAR in it..

― daria g, Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

every video could benefit from some GWARness

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

They practically invented tongue-chewing.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 13 February 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it"

HAHA I read this totally differently than he intended, and was like, damn, maybe they should just move down on the bed to prevent that kind of bashing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Perhaps it was only a twin.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha Ally that's what I thought too! it didn't seem like a good solution.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 13 February 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Courtesy of Rob Sheffield:
Your body is a wonderland, my brain is a strip mall, my guitar is a
dumpster behind Shoney's on a hot day, my voice is a Komfort Kastle on the wrong side of the crucial Walter Egan/Randy Vanwarmer divide, and my baloney has a second name: John Mayer

end of discussion.

― Carey (Carey), Thursday, 13 February 2003 20:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wonder if he's related to Oscar...

― Prude, Thursday, 13 February 2003 21:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Who's Oscar?

― Blech, Tuesday, 18 February 2003 01:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oscar Mayer, the bologna guy.

― Prude, Tuesday, 18 February 2003 01:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

two weeks pass...

i love this song. absolutely. it captures the moment perfectly.

― Bosse-De-Nage (Bosse-De-Nage), Saturday, 8 March 2003 09:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

dammit, my body is a wonderland

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Saturday, 8 March 2003 09:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

eight months pass...

this song still sucks, BTW

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 17 November 2003 04:17 (twenty years ago) link

So much about John Mayer smacks of him wanting a reward for the sentiments he expresses in his songs.

― Schwingung (Damian), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:39 (twenty years ago) link

People who like this are the same people who in the hip hop world really really liked "21 Questions."

its a song for the ladies, with all sexism inherent in that statement.

― ddrake, Monday, 17 November 2003 08:42 (twenty years ago) link

People who like this are the same people who in the hip hop world really really liked "21 Questions."

Fuck off

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:46 (twenty years ago) link

And people accused ME of not having a sense of humor?

― ddrake, Monday, 17 November 2003 09:12 (twenty years ago) link

to john mayor- your song is a giant turd!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:16 (twenty years ago) link

This song is repulsive and smug and fucking trite. It makes me feel ill.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:25 (twenty years ago) link

We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

And if you want love
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way your hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

you want love?
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland

Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland

That is the funniest lyric ever. I haven't heard the track as I guess it hasn't crossed over to the UK. But that is a real giggle especially if it's serious.

btw, does that mean his hand betwen her head and the headboard? Ahh that's nice...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:55 (twenty years ago) link

And she booked the room too? That's love....

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:55 (twenty years ago) link

I think this is a protest song about the absence, outside Japan, of love hotels. Being forced to rent a hotel all night for a sexual encounter lasting two hours is just a rip off. What's more, in a love hotel the whole room would be a wonderland, a mini theme park. Love hotels everywhere, now!

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 17 November 2003 13:34 (twenty years ago) link

Count me in with the folks who find it cute in a gawky sort of way.

And I'm curious about the need of many on this thread to police the desires of girls and young women.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:58 (twenty years ago) link

momus we totally have hotels that rent rooms by the hour in the us

― cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:00 (twenty years ago) link

Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Because once you get a good look at my giant head and teeth, your going to cringe.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:07 (twenty years ago) link

I just don't like mawkish and overt declarations of affection. I'm a sour old hag who's probably bitter I don't have my own Mayer to describe my body as a theme park ride. Yeah, that's the ticket...

Ick. And the sound of his voice actually singing it, makes it creepier. He sounds like a muppet.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:14 (twenty years ago) link

But Dan what W.W. Joeie Do if you sang "your BOOTY is a wonderland?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

She would probably eviscerate me. Or she'd roll her eyes and ignore me. It's kind of a toss-up.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:33 (twenty years ago) link

I like those odds!! Oh you said "eviscerate."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:34 (twenty years ago) link

momus we totally have hotels that rent rooms by the hour in the us

Damn, you mean I was totally wasting my money when I used to take girls to the Chelsea at $200 a pop?

But do your 'rest' hotels have automated desk clerks, jacuzzis, karaoke machines, vibromassage, and rotating teacup seats?

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:17 (twenty years ago) link

Damn baby
You frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes

I never noticed this line before. He says "Damn baby"!

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

"But do your 'rest' hotels have automated desk clerks, jacuzzis, karaoke machines, vibromassage, and rotating teacup seats?"

No but some of the classier ones have carpets and electrical lights.

― Keith Harris (kharris1128), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:26 (twenty years ago) link

This song just makes me uncomfortable. Doesn't it creep anyone else out?

― Elyn (elynbeth), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:30 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, it creeps me out, too. It's like women never fart or have stray hairs or boogers hanging out of their nose or something.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Monday, 17 November 2003 23:09 (twenty years ago) link

His Xmas CD will include "Your Body Is a Winter Wonderland" of course.
-- Amateurist (amateuris...) (webmail), February 12th, 2003 10:09 PM. (amateurist) (link)

this still cracks me up which goes a long way toward explaining my place in the world

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 17 November 2003 23:11 (twenty years ago) link

I'm sorry, I've got to hear this. Kazaa, i'm comin ......

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 09:58 (twenty years ago) link

You could probably just guess how it goes, tho

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 10:07 (twenty years ago) link

five years pass...

your body is a wonderland

― Smells like meat. Rotten meat. (Eisbaer), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 15:02 (fourteen years ago) link

why?

― "lol" as frivolity (Stevie D), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 15:13 (fourteen years ago) link

The answer is in Eisbaer's handle.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 August 2009 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Why would he bring it here? of all places?

― "lol" as frivolity (Stevie D), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link

because kids are stupid motherfuckers

― Smells like meat. Rotten meat. (Eisbaer), Thursday, 6 August 2009 23:18 (fourteen years ago) link

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