songs about masturbation

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o well, while we're here

"oops" tweet
"i touch myself" divinyls
"smut" skyhooks

gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Getting the obvious out of the way:
"Pictures of Lily" - The Who
"Turning Japanese" - The Vapors

Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Silence Kit - Pavement

jm (jtm), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Orgasm Addict" by Buzzcocks

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"The Girls of Porn" by Mr.Bungle

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Dancing with Myself" Billy Idol
"Pump It Up" Elvis Costello
a bunch of Green Day songs
"Flowers on the Wall" Statler Bros.

Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:52 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

pixies - holiday song ("here i am, with my hand ...")

brains (cerybut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"She Bop" - Cyndi Lauper

Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"On a Plain" Nirvana

Keith McD (Keith McD), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

C-90 - Masturbation

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:07 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Rosie", Jackson Browne.

derrick (derrick), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 07:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i wanna fuck myself - gg allin

schnell schnell, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 12:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Throbbing Gristle: Something came over me

Klaus Borchardt, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 13:08 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

throbbing gristles - five knuckle shuffle

schnell schnell, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 13:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Anything by U2

Jerry (Jerry), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink


Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hands down: Lucinda Williams - "Right in Time"

Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Reading assignments: "Onan's Greatest Hits" chapter by Dave Marsh in Greil Marcus-edited *Stranded; "All By Myself" chapter by me in *Accidental Evolution of Rock 'n Roll.

A few great forgotten ones: Men at Work "Overkill," Laura Branigan "Solitaire," Kix "The Itch," Atlanta Rhythm Section "Imaginary Lover," Alan O'Day "Undercover Angel," Bruce Springsteen and/or Manfred Mann "Blinded by the Light," Leo Sayer "When I Need You."

chuck, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Blindman" by Aerosmith

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 18:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

summer babe - pavement

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Everyday I Die" - Tubeway Army

The Knitter, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 19:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Aphex Twin - Funny Little Man.

Wintermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 20:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

biggest masturbation hit from the past few years that's nobody's mentioned, i think:

Green Day, "Longview"

chuck, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

How is Vapor's "Turning Japanese" or Tweet's "Oops" about this?

A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:38 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

oh, ok "I looked over to the left, a reflextion of myself"

A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:41 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

blister in the sun - violent femmes

ken taylrr, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

new order - perfect kiss - unlike most of the above managed daytime r1 play...

the wake "solo project" is very funny too.

kieron, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

and i've just noticed from the parallel thread that the wake song was the one that charlie ivens was desperately trying to identify...

kieron, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

rattlesnake shake (peter green? certainly genya ravan)

bflaska, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Vapor's "Turning Japanese"

i don't think i do squint, actually. I'll ask the wife.

gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:07 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Turning Japanese" is a colloquialism describing the facial contortions that sometimes occur during orgasm.

Regarding "Oops" the lyrics!

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 03:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Icicle." Tori Amos
"Muscle of Love." Alice Cooper

janni (janni), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 17:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Tipper Gore's favorite: Prince's 'Darling Nikki'

Oops (Oops), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 17:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

beat it - michael jackson

di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 23:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Gary Numan - Down In The Park
"Down In the Park With My Friend Called FIVE"
Actually theres lots of numan songs about wanking. * Cue comments bout Numan being a wanker*

Reg Deadman, Friday, 14 February 2003 02:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
happiness is a warm gun

guava, Thursday, 6 March 2003 05:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Girls Against Boys, "Cruise Your New Fly Baby Self" (, Thursday, 6 March 2003 15:53 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Teenage Kicks

pete b. (pete b.), Thursday, 6 March 2003 18:08 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

sunroof's classic "jacking off making airplane noises."

your null fame (yournullfame), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:14 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

'homemade' - sebadoh
'automanipulator' - crispin hellion glover

john fail (cenotaph), Thursday, 6 March 2003 21:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

How exactly is "Summer Babe" about jerking it?

"Ice baby, I saw your girlfriend and she's eatin' her fingers like they're just another meal but she waits there in the levee wash mixing cocktails with her plastic-tipped cigar."

Uhhhh... yeah!

Evan (Evan), Thursday, 6 March 2003 22:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
The Osborne Brothers - "Rocky Top"

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 21 March 2003 02:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

There was a man, a lonely man
who lost his love through his indifference
a heart that cared that went unshared
until it died within his silence

And solitaire's the only game in town
and every road that takes him takes him down
while life goes on around him everywhere
he's playing solitaire

And keeping to himself he plays the game
without her love, it always ends the same
and by himself it's easy to pretend
he'll never love again
A little hope goes up in smoke
just how it goes, goes without saying
There was a man, a lonely man
who would command the hand he's playing

Gatinha (rwillmsen), Friday, 21 March 2003 02:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Happy With My Hand" - Annette Peacock

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 21 March 2003 13:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(hm, the above would rhyme rather well with
"Soddin' With Saddam"
...but that'd be, evidently, 'bout a different sort of... self satisfaction)

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 21 March 2003 13:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Is everyone studiously avoiding mentioning Ivor Biggun's 1978 smash hit because it's just too bleedin' obvious?

He was actually Doc Cox from That's Life y'know - what ever would Esther have said if she'd found out?

Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 21 March 2003 13:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

'DIY', Peter Gabriel

Anna Rose, Friday, 21 March 2003 18:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

High & Mighty - "Hands on Experience"
Pharcyde - "Oh Shit" [there's a verse about jackin' it]

phil-two (phil-two), Saturday, 22 March 2003 17:34 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Curved Air - Not Quite The Same

Øystein Holm-Olsen (Øystein H-O), Saturday, 22 March 2003 20:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

elvis costello - welcome to the working week

...well, it references masturbation.. heh heh "rhythmically admired.." heh heh

kyle, Sunday, 23 March 2003 10:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"Holding My Own," The Darkness

This is the one Darkness song that I genuinely like.

rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:07 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The Osborne Brothers - "Rocky Top"

"rocky top"??

fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:11 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Lords of Acid - sorry, i don't know the song. just pick one though.

Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:30 (twelve years ago) Permalink

sebadoh "pound my skinny head"

cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:31 (twelve years ago) Permalink

It's a masturbation power ballad!

Everything has fallen into place
My life is so exciting now I've got my space
Like a splash of water on my face

I'm doing what I can do to pleasure me
I'm finding time to focus on my fantasies
I'm satisfied in my own company

I don't need your permission
To take this matter in my own two hands

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two yeah
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through

All we seem to do is talk about-
We take apart and analyze our ins and outs
Honey, I would rather do without

No-one to answer to
I won't spend another lifetime begging you

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two yeah
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through
I'm holding my own

There's a spring in my stride
There's a twinkle in my dying eyes

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through

rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 11 August 2005 05:12 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Penny Lane has both a masturbation line ("pocket is a portrait of a queen, he likes to keep his fire engine clean, it's a clean machine") and a line about masturbating a woman (finger pies).

Don't even get me started on "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" and "Here I stand, head in hand, turn myself to the wall". What?

Cunga (Cunga), Thursday, 11 August 2005 05:17 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Lou Reed, Banging On My Drum

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Thursday, 11 August 2005 09:02 (twelve years ago) Permalink

radiohead-thinking about you -it has more to do with being left alone than the straight up spanking it and field recordings of their later work

kephm (kephm), Thursday, 11 August 2005 12:03 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Radiohead - Just - lyrically and musically
Television - Guiding Light

"Never the rose/without the prick"


metalmickey, Thursday, 11 August 2005 12:37 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Masturbation Blues - David Alan Coe

m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Thursday, 11 August 2005 14:45 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I read somewhere that the following song:

Devo - Uncontrollable Urge

is about masturbation, though I can't get it.

zeus, Thursday, 11 August 2005 15:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Just wanted to say that "Anything by U2" line, upthread, is still pretty funny.

Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Thursday, 11 August 2005 15:45 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

Never noticed "Sleeping Late" by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show until now, but it definitely fits:

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by devious thoughts
When I'm undercover let me never get caught
Crazy notions begin with that old devil grin on my face
We're such a disgrace, me and my pillow-case

Sleeping late, sleeping late
Sleeping late, sleeping late

The blissful state of sleeping late has been known to compensate
And sometimes even stimulate
I for one appreciate, sleeping late
Ain't it great sleeping late

xhuxk, Sunday, 9 December 2007 22:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

April Wine - "Rock Myself to Sleep" from the Fright Night OST.

I had no idea there was a music video.

Nate Carson, Sunday, 9 December 2007 22:57 (ten years ago) Permalink

Battles - "Atlas"

stephen, Sunday, 9 December 2007 23:01 (ten years ago) Permalink

Well, i always assumed Willie and the Hand Jive was about wanking......

sonofstan, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:05 (ten years ago) Permalink

Charlotte Hatherley, "Roll Over & Let It Go"

The Reverend, Monday, 10 December 2007 02:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

Motorhead - "Vibrator"
come on, people...

Chelvis, Monday, 10 December 2007 05:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

no, You come on people!

Mark G, Monday, 10 December 2007 16:13 (ten years ago) Permalink

Incredible String Band, When You Find Out Who You Are

Remember young man of the time
when your love stick
First rose free between your legs
Like a growing tree

... stupid lyric

Tom D., Monday, 10 December 2007 16:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

The Beautiful South, "Tonight I Fancy Myself"

DavidM, Monday, 10 December 2007 17:06 (ten years ago) Permalink

Juice on the Loose -- Rose Tattoo

Gorge, Monday, 10 December 2007 17:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

Ritchie Valens "Ohh My Head"

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 03:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

God Bullies - Artificial Insemination by Aliens:
"I must have killed millions and millions of babies with my bare hands..." :D

ArchCarrier, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 19:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

I just had a revelation with Webb Pierce's "Walking the Dog":

I'm walking the dog and I'm never blue
I'm walking the dog, I ain't thinkin' 'bout you
I don't need no one to tie me down
I'm walking the dog and I'm paintin' the town
Such an easy life, I never knew until the day that I left you
Well I'm a carefree lad that's seen the light
I'm walking the dog all the day and all night

brilliant euphemism

hawth, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 20:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

Silver Bullet - 20 Seconds To Com(ply)

StanM, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:03 (ten years ago) Permalink


StanM, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:05 (ten years ago) Permalink

The Flaming Lips - "The Southern Oklahoma Cosmic Trigger Contest" (the best masturbation song ever)

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:49 (ten years ago) Permalink

Circle Jerks - "What's Your Problem?"

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

.38 special - hold on loosely

vh1 told me that too!

Emily Bjurnhjam, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

P!nk - "U + Ur Hand"

LeRooLeRoo, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 02:22 (ten years ago) Permalink

if the Meat Puppets merged with ex members of the Beatles would they be the Meat Beatles?

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 03:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

Finger 11 + Bangles=Fingerbangles

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 03:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

"The Southern Oklahoma Cosmic Trigger Contest" - I'm assuming, then, that "Keep the Cosmic Trigger Happy" by The Super Furry Animals is a reference to this?

Pillbox, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 03:51 (ten years ago) Permalink

"Keep the Cosmic Trigger Happy" came first.

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 03:57 (ten years ago) Permalink

that's what she said

Pillbox, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

Faith No More, "Epic"

gabbneb, Friday, 14 December 2007 05:12 (ten years ago) Permalink

or is that too obv?

gabbneb, Friday, 14 December 2007 05:12 (ten years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

Toby Keith, "Pump Jack"

xhuxk, Monday, 7 April 2008 17:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Presidents of The USA- "Peaches"

I took a little nap where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you woman

mizzell, Monday, 7 April 2008 17:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

Rattlesnake Shake by Fleetwood Mac

zaxxon25, Monday, 7 April 2008 20:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

nine years pass...

Courtney Barnett, "Lance Jr."
Victoria Monét, "Ten New Friends"

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Monday, 12 March 2018 18:47 (one week ago) Permalink

'And when she asks me, which one I love the best?
I tear open my shirt and I show "Rosie" on my chest'

Ape Wipes (Old Lunch), Monday, 12 March 2018 18:53 (one week ago) Permalink

Size 14: "Claire Danes Poster"
Zebrahead: "Playmate of The Year"

...some of y'all too woke to function (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 12 March 2018 18:57 (one week ago) Permalink

OMG what about the brilliant 'Softcore' by Maurice & the Cliches? "She's got a birthmark that looks just like a staple. She's from New Jersey- she wants to be an actress.."

Migdalia Amygdala (Dr. Joseph A. Ofalt), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 04:51 (one week ago) Permalink

guys eyes - animal collective

flappy bird, Tuesday, 13 March 2018 05:37 (one week ago) Permalink

Charli XCX - Body Of My Own

Lights out
So high
All alone
I've got a body of my own

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 12:06 (one week ago) Permalink

Sondre Lerche - "Single-Hand Affairs"

Brilliant premise; - he and his girl meet up for a date, hit it off well, but don't hook up; they leave separately and go to their respective homes, where they both wank whilst thinking about each other...

I just noticed his new album is called Solo Pleasure, but it's not about ~that~.

Lee626, Tuesday, 13 March 2018 12:31 (one week ago) Permalink

Animal Collective actually don't have any songs about masturbation, they're just wank.

Full of bile and Blue Nile denial (Turrican), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 19:21 (one week ago) Permalink


absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 19:23 (one week ago) Permalink

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