Eurovision Song Contest 2022

YUM YUM YUMYUMYUM
YUM YUM YUM YUM
YUM YUM YUMYUMYUM

I apologize in advance.

You're not sorry at all

Fair

https://scandipop.co.uk/norways-eurovision-2022-song-subwoolfer-give-wolf-banana/

"tomorrow is Sunday" ?

Gonna be a spicy one folks

Sam Ryder: TikTok star to sing Space Man for UK at Eurovision 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udsMTb2NIak

truly, truly awful

So basically Dua Lipa's management team went on Tik Tok and picked whoever from the UK had the most followers.

The lyrics are so bad, especially the "been down some black holes" line - which gets repeated over and over again. Also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCbAEkfXSDE
...an intergalactic crime indeed.

Okay, but is it as bad as Latvia?

I would very much like to watch this with my five year old daughter, but 1.) it's not easy to do so in the U.S., is it, and 2.) is this possibly not something that a kid would find hilarious? I always had the notion from afar that it was kitschy shit that anyone not too concerned with what Steve albini or Gerard Cosloy might think could appreciate… now that I think for second, in 2014 or thereabouts Logo did a highlights program with bitchy gay guy commentary that was excellent…

Depends on the kid, I guess, but I would highly recommend it for watching with a kid. There's plenty of kitschy shit and a few actually good songs, as well as dreary rubbish like the UK sends.

Also I literally just watched Norway's entry for the first time, and... I kind of like it?

Seconded - there's a lot of variation between the acts to keep things interesting, and even the ballads usually have some bizarre theatrical staging. Might want to tap out at the voting though.

I watched my first Eurovision when I was 6, and was hooked thereafter.

OK, it sounds like James Blunt.

It's terrible.

It's probably going to do better than any UK entry for a considerable time. Win, even. Well, no let's say top ten.

god that's dull
I actually have seen him before doing a cover of the excellent Set You Free and completely ruining it

obsessed with Spain and Serbia this year. Kind of hate the Ukrainian entry unfortunately, not a patch on "Shum" - but expect them to win and won't begrudge it!

also France missed a trick by not sending Pauline Chagne

UK song obv embarrassing but I'd still say it's their best entry since...Flying the Flag (for You)? Not exactly a packed field at the top.

would make a good poll
have to go for scooch too

2.) is this possibly not something that a kid would find hilarious?

My kids love Eurovision but I'm not sure they would've when they were five, I think it helps to already be at least a little into current pop music

obsessed with Spain and Serbia this year.

further research has proven this to be correct

as if Ukraine isn't going to win this

Ukraine will walk with it via sentiment alone, but Serbia's entry is a hell of a thing.

doesn't the USA state version of this start tonight?

sisqos representing maryland

Amerivision Thong Contest

What state is Flo Rida representing?

Alas, as an honorable Sammarinese (!) citizen Flo Rida is not eligible for the US contest:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkhiH-JXFPs

ah, I'd forgotten about that

Some entries I like a lot:

First of all, our quite wonderful Dutch entry, by S10 (pronounced ‘Steen’ in English, because that’s how you pronounce her first name, Stien), whose 2020 album was very high on my ILM ballot that year. It’s our first Dutch-language entry since Sieneke’s dead on populist-not-poptimist arrival “Ik ben verliefd (Sha-la-lie)" in 2010:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2m-MGSys0k
S10 • De Diepte

Next up, Italy’s all-male passion play, hotly tipped to be the winner (ancora!) until the war broke out. And if they manage to pull off a performance like the one in the San Remo final, who could say they wouldn’t have deserved it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MgMhzfUmiA
Mahmood & BLANCO • Brividi

Now instead, Mahmood might have to settle for the runner-up position for the second time in three editions.

I also posted about the Albanian entry a couple of weeks ago on A thread for pop with Arabic influences from the Balkans, Transcaucasia, North Africa and the Middle East, to stunned silence:

”Sekret” by Ronela Hajati, this year’s Albanian Eurovision entry, is more than worth a thread revive. There’s several different versions to choose from - I can’t, so here’s all three of them:

the original all-Albanian version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NczxScmhajw

live performance in the national final, partly in English: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuLIDqZ3waQ

the brand new revamped international video version, English + Albanian and featuring some strategically interspersed Spanish elements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMu47raqbcc

A truly insane final video.

My favorites for this year are Cyprus and Czech Republic:

Andromache - Ela

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM8CY08UT6I

We Are Domi - Lights Off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMesI3_LprY

This video contains snippets from all the tracks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrOaYo3I-9A

Rehearsals underway, but to catch the snippets, off to TikTok...

https://www.tiktok.com/@eurovision

Two hours to go to semifinal 1! If you're over here and need viewing help...

https://www.eurowhat.com/watch

Semi final order badly formatted by me lazily pasting from Wikipedia

01 Albania - Ronela Hajati, "Sekret" (Albanian, English)
02 Latvia - Citi Zēni, "Eat Your Salad"(English)
03 Lithuania - Monika Liu, “Sentimentai”(Lithuanian)
04 Switzerland - Marius Bear , “Boys Do Cry" (English)
05 Slovenia - LPS, “Disko" (Slovene)
06 Ukraine - Kalush Orchestra, “Stefania" (Ukrainian)
07 Bulgaria - Intelligent Music Project, “Intention" (English)
08 Netherlands - S10, “De diepte" (Dutch)
09 Moldova - Zdob și Zdub & Advahov Brothers, “Trenulețul" (Romanian, English)
10 Portugal - Maro, “Saudade, saudade" (English, Portuguese)
11 Croatia - Mia Dimšić, “Guilty Pleasure" (English, Croatian)
12 Denmark - Reddi, “The Show" (English)
13 Austria - Lumix feat. Pia Maria , “Halo" (English)
14 Iceland - Systur, “Með hækkandi sól" (Icelandic)
15 Greece - Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord, “Die Together" (English)
16 Norway - Subwoolfer, “Give That Wolf a Banana" (English)
17 Armenia - Rosa Linn, “Snap" (English)

Bbc commentary: “thanks for getting off grindr to host Eurovision” (!)

Popbitch have handily just released their guide.

I still can’t believe these are the opening lyrics to the Latvian Eurovision this year. pic.twitter.com/9IDi4t3guz

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) May 10, 2022

Moldova vg

Zdob si Dob always are great value

wot? DJ ChisinÖtzi?

Austria very happy to be here

lots of 70s vibes tonight

this grew on me

He'll be Sir Sam Ryder by the end of the year.

my little tot

Public vote hopefully kinder to Moldova than the juries were

<rubs hands together>

Watch the avalanche of votes for Ukraine roll inexorably in.

banging table PUBLIC VOTE PUBLIC VOTE PUBLIC VOTE PUBLIC VOTE PUBLIC VO

Think the German guy's been hitting the sauce.

haha what moldova

Brutal for France and Germany

THANK YOU EUROPEAN AND MISCELLANEOUS COUNTRIES FOR VOTING FOR MOLDOVA I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR NOT FORGETTING THEM

ouch

Lol @ Switzerland, the public is good

OK we need the UK to get less than 29 votes now.

lmao public recognised Serbia and HOW

Great that Serbia and Moldova got some serious points

Graham is so annoying, he loves these fucking ballads.

UK should be toast. Fucking praying here.

I actually said out loud "Australia two points" and they got two points!

aw I had a soft spot for the Netherlands one

Aw that is brutal

Norton's musical taste is as bad as Wogan's despite him being 50 years younger.

Still think maybe 80% chance Ukraine will win it.

Aw Italy

LOL, knocked it out the park.

There we go, unassailable lead I think.

It's all over guys, the rest of you can all go home.

Fuck me those Ukraine points

Who is surprised? People are corny

2 mins to 12, get the fuck on with it

People elsewhere in the continent watching this at 2am lol

UK, 28 votes.

Wonder how many people actually vote in the UK?

Just thinking about the fact that if Putin hadn't decided to invade Ukraine, the UK would have just won Eurovision.

Public got it pretty much spot on.

Rotten bit of luck, chaps.

Wonder how many people actually vote in the UK?

Ukraine didn't deserve the 400 and whatever votes they got but they were right about Serbia.

I fucken voted, I do it every year. It's actually a big deal where I live, I could lean out the window and point out 4 more voters

Just thinking about the fact that if Putin hadn't decided to invade Ukraine, the UK would have just won Eurovision.

Just thinking about the fact that if Putin hadn't decided to invade Ukraine, the UK would have just won Eurovision.

― Portrait Of A Dissolvi Ng Drea M (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 14 May 2022 bookmarkflaglink

The Ukraine's extra sympathy votes would've been spread out in a way that's hard to predict. A very small gap btw UK and Spain.

xp It's true! Also the Ukraine song is better, and not the sort of thing which would normally be in with a chance.

Tonight was truly Boris Johnson's Dunkirk moment.

you have melted our hearts, friends #Eurovision 💛💙...

...and it matters the world to us during this time 💔

we send all your love and support to our brave freedom defenders at Azovstal and along the frontline

congrats, KALUSH Orchestra 🏆🇺🇦 #SaveMariupol #SaveAzovstal pic.twitter.com/Vt7WzpMHFQ

— Ukraine / Україна (@Ukraine) May 14, 2022

Ukraine got 431 out of a maximum possible 468 public votes.

without the invasion ukraine have a different entry: alina pash withdrew as contestant for some faff to do with crimea which i'm too sleepy to understand

also russia would be competing

At least Switzerland got fuck all in the public vote.

Next year in a liberated Mariupol.
We’ll sort it out somehow.#Eurovision2022

— Illia Ponomarenko 🇺🇦 (@IAPonomarenko) May 14, 2022

Also Konstrakta’s formal video for the song rules too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S1jrYq87Zw

Just looking at the full vote breakdown now. The following countries’ public votes gave Ukraine 12 points:

🇮🇹 Italy
🇫🇷 France
🇮🇪 Ireland
🇮🇸 Iceland
🇪🇸 Spain
🇬🇧 United Kingdom
🇩🇰 Denmark
🇩🇪 Germany
🇦🇹 Austria
🇪🇪 Estonia
🇱🇻 Latvia
🇱🇹 Lithuania
🇵🇱 Poland
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan
🇧🇬 Bulgaria
🇲🇩 Moldova
🇨🇿 Czech Republic
🇬🇪 Georgia
🇸🇲 San Marino
🇦🇺 Australia
🇧🇪 Belgium
🇨🇾 Cyprus
🇳🇱 Netherlands
🇸🇪 Sweden
🇮🇱 Israel
🇵🇹 Portugal
🇳🇴 Norway
🇫🇮 Finland

My beloved Moldova got 8 points from the UK public, proving my votes for them didn’t go to waste.

They got 12 points from Romania and Serbia, which amuses me because I saw a comment on YouTube by an excited Serb talking about how the video distilled the experience of taking trains in the Balkans and when I ran this by my Serb mate she was like “unbelievably otm” & “one time I saw a group take a suckling pig on the train”. Any other year, they’d be reaping in the end of evening drunk votes but they still did very well!

Obviously there were some Bizarre Voting Irregularities, Sharivari to thread etc

Turns out that you can loop the 32 bar acapella intro of "Stefania" all the way through the break in Madonna's "Hung Up" - the keys match perfectly.

(Fucking hell, wait till she realises. There'll be no stopping her.)