ITT pitch your concepts for horrible '70s album titles/covers in the style of I've Got My Own Album To Do

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

for reference

artist: Ken Harris

title: "Fancy Meeting Me Here!"

front cover: Ken (a bearded, slightly shlumpy, Nilssonesque singer-songwriter in a flannel shirt) is pictured approaching a bar with a surprised look on his face. seated at the bar (shown in profile and partly in shadow so that you can't quite make out his features) is another shlumpy, bearded man in a flannel shirt

https://i.imgur.com/6fWpTTR.jpg
(kinda like this)

big reveal on the back cover: two identically-dressed Ken Harrises are pictured sitting at the same bar and toasting each other with huge idiotic grins on their faces

https://i.imgur.com/1dFtViz.jpg
(kinda like this)

stop trying to make fetch the bolt cutters happen (unregistered), Monday, 11 May 2020 22:33 (two years ago) link

lol, I like it. I had a bunch of these pitches in the original thread, so it's good to have a designated thread for them.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 11 May 2020 22:35 (two years ago) link

"Allegedly Sexy" would be a good Rod Stewart album title (cover art could have a courtroom scene with a hot female witness pointing a finger at Rod)
― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 11 May 2020 22:44 (two years ago) link

Bixby Snyder -- I'd Buy That For a Dollar

http://s3.amazonaws.com/ebaumsworld.prod/uploads1518566328843-1ombg3.jpg

Pissed Jeans Genie C. Riley (PBKR), Monday, 11 May 2020 22:49 (two years ago) link

sic's current display name makes me imagine one of these. Elton's Musk - jazz saxophonist Elton Dean playing smooth sax riffs on an electric car assembly line with a gaggle of sexy female auto technicians squabbling to get a whiff of his manly odour.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 11 May 2020 23:01 (two years ago) link

This had to make the other thread, even though it is not from the 70s. It's got the similar vibe you discuss.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SGJDWmCU6yw/TyLnWVPZlMI/AAAAAAAABA0/7h88FOLz8z0/s1600/Al+Di+Meola+-+Kiss+My+Axe.jpg

earlnash, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 01:25 (two years ago) link

Amazingly I don't think it had been posted on the thread, I thought of it from your description. That look on Al D's face always cracked me up.

earlnash, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 01:30 (two years ago) link

"Allegedly Sexy" would be a good Rod Stewart album title (cover art could have a courtroom scene with a hot female witness pointing a finger at Rod)
― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, November 16, 2005
― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, May 11, 2020 5:44 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Whoa, origin story

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 01:45 (two years ago) link

"I Rest My Case" - by Nick Lowe-style roots rocker. Cover has the artist lying in a king sized bed next to a guitar case. If he was British he could be dressed in a lawyer's wig etc.

everything, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 02:27 (two years ago) link

can I be in this thread for insisting that The Who's last album should've been called Who Gives a Fuck?

frogbs, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 03:12 (two years ago) link

lol

I'm disappointed that the lead singer of Herman's Hermits has only ever released one solo album, and it isn't titled Noone Loves You or Noone Cares

stop trying to make fetch the bolt cutters happen (unregistered), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 03:18 (two years ago) link

Noone Does It Better! (A cover's album)

"...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 03:30 (two years ago) link

okay I have racked my brain for HOURS on this and the best I can come up with is a Mario Kart themed Ween album called I'm-a Goona Ween

frogbs, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 03:48 (two years ago) link

Man Alive's third release is called "A Man, A Plan, A Canal: Man Alive"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 04:02 (two years ago) link

http://fwiw.imgix.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/09/Insta-Post_housing_4.jpg

The Dan Boonins Band - Rockin Hard or Hardly Rockin?

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Tuesday, 12 May 2020 04:31 (two years ago) link

actual lols

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 04:35 (two years ago) link

Neil Young & Crazy Horse: Horses For Courses (each guy is photographed doing a different activity at a different race track)

"...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 06:07 (two years ago) link

I'm imagining this one with each band member eating a different course of a meal, one on a starter, one on a main, one on a dessert, one eating cheese and biscuits with a cigar, this should all take place with the backdrop of different race courses, of course.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 09:46 (two years ago) link

oh and neil should be in the centre of the picture, shrugging at their antics

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:17 (two years ago) link

the first track should be a cover version of Crazy Horses by The Osmonds, the LP should also contain covers of "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?" and "Wild Horses" to close.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:24 (two years ago) link

Artist: The Loose (Bay Area folk-rock quintet)
circumstances: After two albums, the band has fired, and replaced, its rhythm guitarist/co-lead singer and its bassist.
Title of the third album: Loose Change!

SlimAndSlam, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:34 (two years ago) link

(This also works for pub-rockers The Spare.)

SlimAndSlam, Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:35 (two years ago) link

yes, but we need the band somehow represented as coins jangling around in a pocket too

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:38 (two years ago) link

Band members' faces on the coins ought to do it! Possibly being slammed down onto the counter of a record store by either a) some denim-clad rocker type, or b) a fishnets-and-miniskirt model type. Record store clerk is handing them a Loose/Spare Change LP with his mouth hanging open - maybe a vest-and-moustache type with stogie protruding from the corner of said mouth.

zoom séance goes tits up (Matt #2), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 10:55 (two years ago) link

I like it. There could also be a poster for the 9-11 conspiracy film Loose Change displayed prominently in the shop.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 11:03 (two years ago) link

Neil Young & Crazy Horse: Horses For Courses (each guy is photographed doing a different activity at a different race track)

― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, May 12, 2020 1:07 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

How about a band called Horse, and the record is "A Horse Off Course" with the band on horseback wandering off the racetrack.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 14:16 (two years ago) link

Roni Size - Size Isn't Everything.
Front: Cartoon-style illustration. A (more) miniature Roni is standing in the palm of a giant, leering record exec-type as the city spreads out beneath them. What the exec can't see is that Roni's holding a syringe (almost as tall as he is), and is about to plunge it into his palm.
Back: Exec is sprawled out over a row of buildings with birdies tweeting around his head. Roni's standing atop his voluminous belly, arm-in-arm with a couple of fashion models, with a voice bubble coming out of his mouth saying the album title.

zoom séance goes tits up (Matt #2), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 14:27 (two years ago) link

Justin Thyme's 1971 semi-self-titled debut, "(Got Here) Justin Thyme", is a lost underground classic of the country-rock genre. The cover shows Thyme in cowboy attire in the doorway of a saloon, arms resting on the doors swung inward, pit-stained and still dusty from the trail, ready to draw the guitar off his back like a six-gun.

Pissed Jeans Genie C. Riley (PBKR), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 14:38 (two years ago) link

Robert Zimmerman - Who's Bob Dylan? (1972), is a bizarre one-off soft-rock album recorded at a low point of Dylan's career when he had tired of using his famous pseudonym. Cover here.

Pissed Jeans Genie C. Riley (PBKR), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 14:49 (two years ago) link

lol. that would also work equally well for a different artist also named Robert Zimmerman

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 14:58 (two years ago) link

also lolling @ "Size Isn't Everything"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 12 May 2020 15:11 (two years ago) link

https://imgflip.com/i/42knok

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Saturday, 23 May 2020 17:52 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgflip.com/42knok.jpg

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Saturday, 23 May 2020 17:52 (two years ago) link

Recorded almost 10 years after nearly dying in London, Jimi Hendrix' "Experiences . . . I've Had a Few" is an attempt at a back to basics record in the vein of Let It Be, but like that record, betrays a lack of inspiration.

some vast airy pantaloon is required (PBKR), Saturday, 23 May 2020 22:39 (two years ago) link

Martin Handy - Keep One Handy

I can't decide if the cover should be said Martin waving a handkerchief coquettishly, or a cartoon giant hand proffering a hanky with Martin in it, or Martin's face printed on a condom.

emil.y, Sunday, 24 May 2020 14:20 (two years ago) link

That's what gatefold sleeves are for, you can have them all!

while the city bleeps (Matt #2), Sunday, 24 May 2020 14:26 (two years ago) link

How about a band called Horse, and the record is "A Horse Off Course" with the band on horseback wandering off the racetrack.

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive)

there was a band called horse, this is their album

https://www.youtu.be.com/watch?v=OWgzkLTHbkA

it's pretty good

i am also reminded of diana marcovitz's 1974 singer-songwriter record "a horse of a different feather"

https://www.discogs.com/Diana-Marcovitz-Horse-Of-A-Different-Feather/release/4165951

15 for sale from $3.26!

Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 24 May 2020 14:30 (two years ago) link

i do have a friend whose last name is handy. his first name is not "martin" though because he's american. he's never released an album with a pun-based title that i'm aware of, though.

Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 24 May 2020 14:31 (two years ago) link

Now I'm envisioning a bass-feature record called "Back to Bassics" where the artist has actually never released anything other than stream of basic bass-feature records.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 24 May 2020 16:50 (two years ago) link

Sadly the only record of that title on Discogs seems to be some minimal techno thing.

while the city bleeps (Matt #2), Sunday, 24 May 2020 17:08 (two years ago) link

Martin Handy - Keep One Handy

i'd honestly prefer the title "comes in handy" and the cover art is just the artist fucking his clone with a strap-on, that way it can be on two threads

budo jeru, Sunday, 24 May 2020 17:11 (two years ago) link

Oh god. Definitely the follow-up.

emil.y, Sunday, 24 May 2020 19:12 (two years ago) link

Hit the Pavement

Malkmus, Spiral Stairs, and crew are lying on the road, having been severely beat up. Possibly by their clones

Vinnie, Monday, 25 May 2020 00:32 (two years ago) link

Bill Callahan returns to the Smog moniker with "They Oughta Do Something About The Smog" -- cover is Bill coughing in a polluted urban streetscape

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 25 May 2020 04:52 (two years ago) link

The Doors "Those Swinging Doors" etc

Mark G, Monday, 25 May 2020 08:11 (two years ago) link

IMHO The Doors definitely missed a trick by not by having more opening/closing puns in the titles of their six LPs.

in twelve parts (lamonti), Thursday, 28 May 2020 07:06 (two years ago) link

Tiny Gets Waxed

front cover: Tiny Tim is stretched out on a chaise longue in the middle of an old-timey recording studio; only the upper half of his body is visible. the horn of a wax cylinder phonograph is positioned a few inches from his face, and a sound engineer is standing by to oversee the recording process. Tiny is presumably singing into the horn, though you'd swear by his gaping mouth and furrowed brow that he was yelping in pain.

the scene continues onto the back cover, where we see that Tiny is naked from the waist down. his dick is exactly as big as you'd expect it to be. a beautician is peeling a strip of orange-pube-encrusted wax off of Tiny's pasty crotch.

(the record itself is a collection of bawdy ballads dating back to the 1890s and 1900s. it's one of the rarest and least sought-after LPs in existence)

stop trying to make fetch the bolt cutters happen (unregistered), Monday, 1 June 2020 23:18 (two years ago) link

Clearly there needs to be an album titled "Hot Takes" where the cover involves a studio reel-to-reel machine in some way.

I am sort of torn between having the reel-to-reel in flames vs having the artist doing that gesture where you put your finger on something and pretend it's really hot and make a cheeky face

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, June 1, 2020 4:11 AM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Needles slammed up into the red on the VU meters and the cartoon smoke from the cover of Loaded coming off the machine.

in twelve parts (lamonti), Thursday, 4 June 2020 12:58 (two years ago) link

Metallica The Black Album Revisited (2032)

An old man's hand (wrinkled, liver spots etc) opens a black leather photo album with various sepia-tinted pictures of the Metallica members, each dressed in black.

Siegbran, Thursday, 4 June 2020 15:44 (two years ago) link

Six month's later, Chad Kroger's "Look at this Photograph" is also released, featuring old chad kroger holding an infinite recurision of the younger chad kroger meme

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 4 June 2020 17:13 (two years ago) link

Max Boyce - Boyce Keep Swinging

Welsh language close harmony David Bowie covers album, on the front is Max as Ziggy on a swing in a playground, on the back cover is a parody of the Heroes picture with a giant leek between his hands.

Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Thursday, 4 June 2020 22:56 (two years ago) link

It feels like a wasted opportunity that when The Sweet were reduced to a trio in 1979, they never managed to release an album called Three Piece Sweet

Siegbran, Friday, 5 June 2020 11:53 (two years ago) link

Album cover would've been three jigsaw puzzle pieces, with candies on them.

Siegbran, Friday, 5 June 2020 11:55 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

Derrick New - Out With the Old...

Cover is a very elderly man walking through a door marked “OUT” and the artist walking through one marked “IN”

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2020 04:36 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

James Archibald - Self Driving Car

cover is a selfie of the artist driving a car

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 28 February 2021 18:22 (one year ago) link

five months pass...

Had an idea for an updated version of this concept. Record is called “Guitarists HATE Him”

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 7 August 2021 03:25 (one year ago) link

Aging UK DJ puts out record called "Bangers 'n' Mashups" - cover is bangers and mash plated on a vinyl record

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 9 August 2021 19:39 (one year ago) link

actually that one would be perfect for DJ Food

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 9 August 2021 19:40 (one year ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/uMfLH0S.jpg

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 05:38 (one year ago) link

well done

I honk along darkened Bobo-doors (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 11:31 (one year ago) link

Winner

Captain Beefart (PBKR), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 12:19 (one year ago) link

Robin Zander solo record - '...with this one weird trick'

Maresn3st, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 12:25 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

lol @ Robert Culp

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 01:54 (one year ago) link

an extra horrible one came to me tonight -- the cover is a paycheck resting on a scale that is going down a playground slide, and the title is "Pay on a Sliding Scale"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 01:55 (one year ago) link

Status Quo/Spinal Tap rockers Rusty Spanner - Kicked in the Crotchet.

The Hipgnosis cover involves semi nude possibly underaged model fighting back against medallion-clad Peter Grant resembling sleazy attacker wearing musical note spangled trousers. Too hot to stock on American shelves so replaced with typographical cover in a blackletter typefece. Band is too minor for label to bother renaming it to wordplay Americans would find meaningful, leaving heshers to ponder if it has something to do with yarn.

Citole Country (bendy), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 02:57 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

Clearly Brian Setzer needs to take advantage of this cultural moment and release an album called "Hard Setzer"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 19 January 2022 18:15 (eight months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/3skK8ee.jpg

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 3 February 2022 02:46 (eight months ago) link

still waiting on Robert Culp's sophomore LP... Mea Culpa

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Thursday, 3 February 2022 03:04 (eight months ago) link

and his collab record with his buddy, Two Guys One Culp

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Thursday, 3 February 2022 03:05 (eight months ago) link

One Culp and It's Gone

fetter, Thursday, 3 February 2022 08:44 (eight months ago) link

Hahaha

Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 5 February 2022 23:54 (eight months ago) link

lol

The creator of Ultra Games, for Nintendo (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 6 February 2022 04:42 (seven months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/j0RYMTL.jpg

sorry

in walked airbud (unregistered), Sunday, 20 February 2022 00:50 (seven months ago) link

can you repost your Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe thing, man alive? the fb link seems to be expired

in walked airbud (unregistered), Sunday, 20 February 2022 00:54 (seven months ago) link

This thread is causing me fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 20 February 2022 00:58 (seven months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/mskEIWq.png

in walked airbud (unregistered), Sunday, 20 February 2022 01:48 (seven months ago) link

Here you go
https://i.ibb.co/Qcg8kpd/dch.jpg

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 20 February 2022 03:01 (seven months ago) link

although totally just a result of laziness and not thought out in advance, I like that Dewey Redman is red.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 20 February 2022 03:01 (seven months ago) link

One Love is really getting me on revisiting

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 3 March 2022 04:11 (seven months ago) link

three weeks pass...

what about an album of David Crosby covers played on xylophones etc entitled 'If I Could Only Marimba My Name'

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Tuesday, 29 March 2022 16:47 (six months ago) link

irl lol

Timpani High (About 3am)

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Tuesday, 29 March 2022 17:01 (six months ago) link

hahaha

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 29 March 2022 17:06 (six months ago) link

Cover shot is Crosby wandering through the desert, a soft mallet in either hand.

Halfway there but for you, Tuesday, 29 March 2022 17:08 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

Earl Klugh Trio - Klughless

Cover is just the other two members of the trio. So are the tracks.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 21 May 2022 02:17 (four months ago) link

what about an album of David Crosby covers played on xylophones etc entitled 'If I Could Only Marimba My Name'

― o shit the sheriff (NickB), Tuesday, March 29, 2022 12:47 PM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

I missed this the first time around. Underrated.

PBKR, Saturday, 21 May 2022 02:39 (four months ago) link

three months pass...

https://i.imgflip.com/6t1k19.jpg

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 11 September 2022 22:18 (three weeks ago) link

A covers record, obv

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 11 September 2022 23:37 (three weeks ago) link

brilliant

Doctor Casino, Monday, 12 September 2022 03:48 (three weeks ago) link

Ages ago I imagined a parallel universe John McLaughlin stooping not quite to 'McLaughin' (not even possible in parallel worlds) but rather to 'Aughlin a Laugh'.

you can see me from westbury white horse, Monday, 12 September 2022 04:03 (three weeks ago) link

McLivlin, McLaughlin, McLovlin

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 12 September 2022 13:25 (three weeks ago) link

Band is called E.V.O.O.

Album is “Extra Virgin Killer” - bottle of olive oil on black background.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 16 September 2022 16:55 (two weeks ago) link

A Flair for the Dramatic

The cover is a hot alt model who is wearing a fake beard and mustache, to resemble William Shakespeare. But rather than Elizabethan garb, she's in a TGI Fridays-style waitress uniform with lots of buttons (a la Jennifer Aniston in Office Space).

peace, man, Friday, 16 September 2022 17:34 (two weeks ago) link

Lester and Jack Eyvil - The Lester of Two Eyvils

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 20 September 2022 15:01 (two weeks ago) link

The Ombudsmen - Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 20 September 2022 15:12 (two weeks ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.