I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC.

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Please go here and listen to the clips first, seriously it will take you all of 5 minutes and you will not regret it.

I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC. Here's a thread:

2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You pic.twitter.com/Y4rrOdSGY2

— 𝗔𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 (@jazzemu_) December 5, 2019

Poll Results

OptionVotes
1770s - Handel, Zadok The Priest (Club Edit) 9
660s - The People of Byzantium, The Coronation of Cher 7
1580s - Cher, I Turned Back Time 7
1960s - Herbie Bonson, Do The Crunch 6
14,000BCE - H. Sapiens, Rock Scraping On Other Rock (Once) 5
1820s - Lord Crisp-Banbury, Mambo No. 4 5
1940s - Jöhn Smith, Britain (Is Where I'm From) 5
1850s - Nurse Licebaron, Little Timmy 4
3230s BCE - The Aliens, Does Anyone Want To Hang Out 3
1930s - Disney Inc., Unconscious Tower Maiden 2
1990s - Lou Bega, Mambo No.5 1
1980s - Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time 1
1970s - The Beegees, Haaaah 1
1430s - Baron Von Hurb, Ma-lreanr 1
12,450BCE - Brog, Mambo No.1 1
1920s - Phillip Jameson, Dirty Anklez 1
70s BCE - The Bethelehem Bbz, Zoopzappyzappa 0
2540s BCE - Nafkatiti, Mambo No.2 0
2650s BCE - Gogmagog, Stonehenge Finish 0
3220s BCE - The People of Babylon, The Aliens Are Gone 0
2000s - James Blunt, You're Beautiful 0
1310s - Sir Chillalot, Mambo No.3 0
1350s - The Rancid Prince, Be My Daddy 0
1420s - Glög, Ü 0
1950s - Chunky Finchman & The Interrupters, She's My Baby 0
1440s - Bogis De Bonbon, Hurmurnurmur 0
1790s - Beethoven, Post-deafness Acoustic Sessions 0
1900s - The Wright Brothers, Ten Feet High Club 0
1910s - Rupert McCarthy, Bellum Est Malum (War Is Bad) 0
2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You 0


mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:01 (one year ago) link

torn between 'Do The Crunch' and 'She's My Baby'

YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:05 (one year ago) link

I'm a fan of 'Zadok The Priest (Club Edit)'

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:06 (one year ago) link

gotta be 'i turned back time' but shout-outs to all the mambos

"Big Joe Fuck and the Bogalusa Maniac" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:06 (one year ago) link

lol we went through this earlier. it's Do The Crunch

imago, Friday, 6 December 2019 11:58 (one year ago) link

once again, following Jon Bois is sometimes all you need

imago, Friday, 6 December 2019 11:59 (one year ago) link

Little Timmy is a bop

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:21 (one year ago) link

Went with Ed Sheeran

éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:44 (one year ago) link

The Cher ones are the best

brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:52 (one year ago) link

Mambo #4 = slept-on

britain's secret sauce (seandalai), Friday, 6 December 2019 15:39 (one year ago) link

voting timmy with dirty anklez runner up

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 6 December 2019 16:37 (one year ago) link

The Bee Gees one and "Britain (Is Where I'm From)" reduced my girlfriend to tears of laughter.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 6 December 2019 17:14 (one year ago) link

i got to herbie bonson before my lady figured out something was up

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:19 (one year ago) link

ten feet high club vs little timmy vs mambo no. 4

jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:31 (one year ago) link

mambo no 4 is almost a better joke without the inclusion of 3, 2 and 1

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:39 (one year ago) link

i can't believe im queen

jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:49 (one year ago) link

That was the one where I howled

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:50 (one year ago) link

"Britain (Is Where I'm From)" for the umlaut in the John Smith name combined with "leave the lights on during the Blitz."

Honorable Mention: Ten Feet High Club

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 6 December 2019 18:13 (one year ago) link

egyptian mambo is when my co-workers started looking at me and i had to close the tab

10,000 mani-gecs (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:07 (one year ago) link

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna have to spend some time with this one when I'm not at work.

afraid of gosts, frankinstines, mummys, vampires, warewolf (Old Lunch), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:20 (one year ago) link

so happy when Nurse Licebarron's "Little Timmy" got resurrected by Elton John centuries later, though still aggrieved he renamed the character Jeannie

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:31 (one year ago) link

"Rock Scraping on Other Rock" singlehandedly created Throbbing Gristle

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:32 (one year ago) link

I really, really laughed at the Handel one, just for the timing.

zadok the priest is the only correct answer

like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Saturday, 7 December 2019 08:26 (one year ago) link

penny dropped last night while revisiting that Jöhn Smith is in fact a German spy ('eating chips and fish') who made a single that Britishers bought in their droves telling them to leave their lights on so the Nazis can bomb them.
How do you fit so much backstory into 10"s?

YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Saturday, 7 December 2019 09:13 (one year ago) link

it's finished. play!

groovemaaan, Saturday, 7 December 2019 12:06 (one year ago) link

clear EOY contender

britain's secret sauce (seandalai), Saturday, 7 December 2019 13:19 (one year ago) link

voted "do the crunch"

laffs aside the list is approximately as well researched and accurate as the serious lists on that topic which have been spammed onto wikipedia

dyl, Saturday, 7 December 2019 15:15 (one year ago) link

I didn't realize teh songs had audio samples yesterday. this is even better now

"I can't believe that worked, I only read the WikiHow"

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 December 2019 15:15 (one year ago) link

laffs aside the list is approximately as well researched and accurate as the serious lists on that topic which have been spammed onto wikipedia

― dyl

it's sourced!

nah it's not _that_ well-researched, i could nitpick for days.

the beethoven entry reminds me of the existing piano roll of joplin playing his "maple leaf rag" in june 1916 (the uni-record recording, not the slightly earlier connorized). i've seen people argue over it trying somehow to claim that this represents his actual style. having heard the roll, it mostly seems to me to represent tertiary syphilis :(

Agnes Motörhead (rushomancy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 16:12 (one year ago) link

I still cherish the moment when I first heard the Bee Gee's "Haaaah", wondering how I escaped hearing that billion-seller in it's day. Seems just like yesterday.

file of unknown origin (bendy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 18:23 (one year ago) link

I still cherish the moment when I first heard the Bee Gee's "Haaaah", wondering how I escaped hearing that billion-seller in it's day. Seems just like yesterday.

― file of unknown origin (bendy)

yeah i felt the same way when i first heard "children of the world" a month ago

Agnes Motörhead (rushomancy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 19:23 (one year ago) link

meatls got robbed

I have not yet begun to fart (rip van wanko), Saturday, 7 December 2019 21:06 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:01 (one year ago) link

Rock Scraping On Other Rock (Once) by a country mile

Darin, Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:14 (one year ago) link

First blastbeat

looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:18 (one year ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 1 January 2020 00:01 (one year ago) link

Solid results ILM, hope the new decade can produce something of the calibre of Zadok The Priest (Club Edit)

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 January 2020 00:04 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

account has been suspended! what the fuck!

did anyone put these on youtube?

bart harley-jarvis cocker (voodoo chili), Thursday, 15 July 2021 14:59 (two weeks ago) link

he received a prehistoric DMCA notice

Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:09 (two weeks ago) link

gogmagog's lawyer is a real ball buster

bart harley-jarvis cocker (voodoo chili), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:14 (two weeks ago) link

I am…

Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (two weeks ago) link

…I am Superman!

Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (two weeks ago) link

…The Magnificent!

Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (two weeks ago) link


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