Rolling Worst Music of 2017

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMb4TGFEVYw

"Today we share a new song to inspire the weary-disappointed hearts of so many crest-fallen citizens. We just started working on a new album, but “Smoke ‘em Out” begged to be turned loose on the world now, as a means of participation during these turbulent yet invigorating times. Joined on guest vocals by our fellow Future Feminist ANOHNI, “Smoke ‘em Out” welcomes the new character who will be occupying the White House with a mob of women and children armed with forks and knives. In the wake of this unnatural disaster, we feel a call to rise, shout, and burn the house down. The future is female.
peace, Bianca & Sierra Casady"

"begged to be turned loose"

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:07 (one year ago) Permalink

also, i got blocked from Anohni's FB page when I dared to bring up CocoRosie's Kill Whitey parties when she posted a link to the song lmao

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:09 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

fault in our stars actor & lowkey EDM festival DJ attempts to breaks out as a budding pop star with hilariously atrocious results:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4gsAS8h3p0

joshywinty (josh), Monday, 6 February 2017 22:02 (one year ago) Permalink

Watching the Beta Boys video from the previous year's thread led me down a Youtube recommend alley to the work of their sole female member, "Fellatia Geisha". It's, um, interesting. Not exactly good interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OvXyrySKtU

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:13 (one year ago) Permalink

Oh wow, she has a new one this week, and um...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLha5zlBQMc

Lots of things going on here, but I can't help zeroing in on the use of an FCUK t-shirt to apparently signify rebellion against "intersectional feminism"

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:27 (one year ago) Permalink

Was just coming here to post the Ansel track.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:25 (one year ago) Permalink

abysmal real name of 2017 and hard to see how that track & video will be beaten either

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:34 (one year ago) Permalink

the second one is kinda like beat poetry on a Thursday night at Borders circa 1999

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:38 (one year ago) Permalink

I don't hate this ansel elgort thing as much as I should

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:41 (one year ago) Permalink

I guess I'll tolerate anything* if it's over a decent synthesizer

* except, like, nazi shit, no one post that buzzfeed article, I've read it

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:43 (one year ago) Permalink

i didn't think it was bad either

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:58 (one year ago) Permalink

um

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:08 (one year ago) Permalink

there was an "exposé" a few months about a "burgeoning" "subgenre" of fascist/neo-nazi themed songs over giorgio moroder ripoffs

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:15 (one year ago) Permalink

So far nothing in this thread is truly awful.

daavid, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 05:05 (one year ago) Permalink

best/worst thing about the ansel elgort song is his overenunciation of every single word

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:45 (one year ago) Permalink

i think he learned it phonetically

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:46 (one year ago) Permalink

as a person who has actually liked a fair number of FJM/J. Tillman things, his decision to double down on po-faced "political" lyrics has resulted in, I believe, some dizzying new lows worthy of this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT2-0y1542I

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:48 (one year ago) Permalink

That Elgort video is pretty good on mute, cause you know, cute mostly-naked boy + Cocaine Noir visuals.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:07 (one year ago) Permalink

I hope his acting is better than his singing, otherwise he might ruin the upcoming Edgar Wright movie that he's starring in.

MarkoP, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:14 (one year ago) Permalink

The Elgort song is mostly guilty of trying too hard. It reminds me a bit of that Kiefer Sutherland country track from last year in that regard (although that was way funnier).

Those Fellatia Geisha tracks are just straight up appalling, through. Like Kitty (Pryde) performing lyrics written by Milo Yiannopoulos.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:47 (one year ago) Permalink

haha that ansel elgort song is hilariously bad, thread delivers

fjm is annoyingly bad ;_;

niels, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:19 (one year ago) Permalink

apparently there's a 13-minute song kicking around but I don't feel up to torturing y'all on that level

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:21 (one year ago) Permalink

This is from 2014, but I was just sent it because he's touring:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXYgLPBfF_w

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:04 (one year ago) Permalink

At long last, the lead single of a certain animated group's upcoming 4th album. No, not that one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7A6-WllOSQ

MarkoP, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:21 (one year ago) Permalink

This Prozzak song isn't good, but they were probably one of the very last turn-of-the-millennium bands that I would have expected to still be around in 2017, so that's something.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:31 (one year ago) Permalink

Well their upcoming album, due in March, is called "Forever 1999".

MarkoP, Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:12 (one year ago) Permalink

wow 2017 shaping up to be worse than last year

wonder if that arthur brown shit is to poor for tom waits to sue

niels, Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:03 (one year ago) Permalink

alternate titles: "Sia Continues To Not Do Subtext"; "I Didn't Expect Melanie Martinez To Be Where Katy Perry Is Being Positioned, Huh"; "If You Told Me Katy Perry Was Doing 'Pleasantville' I Would Have Expected Pinup Shit"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gsGhdZDC-0

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:30 (one year ago) Permalink

"stumbling around like a wasted zombie" is a great description of whatever the chorus is trying to do

the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:33 (one year ago) Permalink

there's something so awkward about how capitalism/mainstream pop absorbed counterculture in the way it's expressed here - it's like when Dr. Evil does the "i'm hip" routine

worst indeed

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 18:48 (one year ago) Permalink

the thing is, it isn't really counterculture at all. it's Sia writing a Sia song that is essentially "Chandelier"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:00 (one year ago) Permalink

I only meant to suggest that criticizing popular culture within a pop framework is awkward when the content of the critique is so banal/superficial/"without any subtext"

it isn't really counterculture - but doesn't it rely on misconstrued countercultural aesthetics?

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:12 (one year ago) Permalink

imo a song that tells people they are zombies and have to find real purpose in such vague terms is virtually insidistinguishable from telling people to get real jobs and stop watching reality tv

mh 😏, Sunday, 12 February 2017 20:53 (one year ago) Permalink

Fuck, Sia has really dropped off in quality since We are Born - not sure if it's related to her sobering up and doing music 24/7 or the money. Happy for her health-wise I guess.

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Monday, 13 February 2017 03:04 (one year ago) Permalink

xp promo otm and a self-indictment

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:44 (one year ago) Permalink

am I horrible if I say sia's best bits were zero 7 vocals

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:45 (one year ago) Permalink

Nope.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 09:51 (one year ago) Permalink

Otoh, "I'm watching porn in my hotel dressing gown" is v Rolling Worst Music 2002.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 12:11 (one year ago) Permalink

(picture of Trump in bathrobe)

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 14:40 (one year ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRhZFNHrT6c

k3vin k., Wednesday, 22 February 2017 17:05 (one year ago) Permalink

Bryson Morris sings that song / so i don't even bother

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 18:40 (one year ago) Permalink

I like that he has braces.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:08 (one year ago) Permalink

Dare I stick my head out and admit that I sort of like the Katy Perry song, just a bit put off by the rubbish lyrics and scansion

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:11 (one year ago) Permalink

I cannot get past that Cocorosie/ANHONI song

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:17 (one year ago) Permalink

The best thing that I will say about that Perry song is that, after hearing it maybe twice, it doesn't actively annoy me in any way. Other than that, I can't right now recall a single thing about it.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:22 (one year ago) Permalink

Filed under "Machine-gunning fish in a barrel":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hlSgENWCcU

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2017 15:05 (one year ago) Permalink

Jessie Ware co-wrote this. I'm horrified

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwzD8U4u76k

monotony, Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:03 (one year ago) Permalink

Go fuck yourself, Ed.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:11 (one year ago) Permalink

yeah, that one kinda leapt off the screen didn't it

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 17:50 (eleven months ago) Permalink

he's a complete fucking sociopath

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:03 (eleven months ago) Permalink

guys just like him are partying in 9-bedroom mcmansions in the hamptons right now, phonebook thrown in the pool, peanut butter smeared on the wall, the quiet hum of undocumented cleaning crews picking up after them come sunday afternoon

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:05 (eleven months ago) Permalink

but where were you when he documented meeting a kid with cancer?

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:19 (eleven months ago) Permalink

I love chris isaak but this shit is fucked up
https://open.spotify.com/track/1bH8yq5PlCTlzPypoFof7p

niels, Thursday, 10 August 2017 13:42 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Did he even have anything to do with this, or is this a case of metadata shenanigans? He doesn't seem to be promoting it anywhere.

Anyway, here's the singer in question: https://www.instagram.com/davidsbaumanis/

maura, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:29 (eleven months ago) Permalink

(I also like that someone on his FB page posted a note to Agent Desmond.)

maura, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:30 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Some lad called Ron Jelly or something like that. The sooner I get these headphones fixed the better

saer, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:35 (eleven months ago) Permalink

Bastille - Basket Case

Spottie, Friday, 18 August 2017 21:12 (eleven months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

6 Music keep playing this for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhAIzVw9_VQ&list=PLU9Xdwsq_bJaiB2bgVq0lg5ujv7_-gG1o&index=4

Dan Worsley, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:24 (ten months ago) Permalink

Try again...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhAIzVw9_VQ

Dan Worsley, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:26 (ten months ago) Permalink

reason : mercury prize entrant

mark e, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:28 (ten months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

has Castle on the Hill been mentioned? Ed Sheeran never fails to horrify:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qp5vcuMIlk

his voice, the production, it's all so terrible - but the lyrics are even worse! absolutely dreadful

niels, Sunday, 1 October 2017 18:15 (nine months ago) Permalink

That song played dozens of times at the place i worked at over the summer - i hated it so goddamn much and i'm so glad I don't have to be around that office radio anymore. Yeah, we get it ed, your friends in high school were burnouts. that doesn't make you any less of a cheeseball.

josh az (2011nostalgia), Sunday, 1 October 2017 19:15 (nine months ago) Permalink

harry styles - sign of the times

Week of Wonders (Ross), Sunday, 1 October 2017 19:25 (nine months ago) Permalink

i fully expect "castle on the hill" to be nominated for song of the year grammy

dyl, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:14 (nine months ago) Permalink

"Castle On The Hill" is not nearly the worst thing Sheeran's released this year

monotony, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:19 (nine months ago) Permalink

yeah it's going to get record/song of the year noms for sure unless the grammys just give up and give every song that hit number one in its nomination period (which ended yesterday) a nod

maura, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:23 (nine months ago) Permalink

that list, btw, would be (in reverse chronological order)

bodak yellow
look what you made me do
despacito
i'm the one
that's what i like
humble
shape of you
bad and boujee
black beatles
starboy (woof) and
closer (WOOOFFFF)

maura, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:25 (nine months ago) Permalink

despacito owned the charts huh

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 17:05 (nine months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Last call to get some nominations in here for the worst song of 2017.
I'll likely run a poll in late December.

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 21:12 (seven months ago) Permalink

Is that one where Ed Sheeran keeps saying "I'm in love with your body" on here?

If not, that.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 21:23 (seven months ago) Permalink

did Meghan Trainor sit this year out or something

frogbs, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 21:27 (seven months ago) Permalink

crypto, reposting this for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1-pKWOt2yM

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 21:29 (seven months ago) Permalink

meghan trainor is on a talent show panel with diddy and dj khaled

she also put out a dumb smurfs tie-in song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyL3YKK_1BI

maura, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 21:40 (seven months ago) Permalink

Eminem - Walk On Water

MarkoP, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:03 (seven months ago) Permalink

That American Soul song U2 did on SNL this week should be in the mix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efi4SCY0TA0

DJI, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:24 (seven months ago) Permalink

"refujesus"

DJI, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:26 (seven months ago) Permalink

that smurfette track is very bad

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:42 (seven months ago) Permalink

lol, i forgot that trainor's debut album was 'title'

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:43 (seven months ago) Permalink

it's useful at least as a marker for showing why kelly clarkson's 'whole lotta woman' and kesha's 'woman' are really quite good

maura, Tuesday, 5 December 2017 22:44 (seven months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

https://themuse.jezebel.com/the-worst-songs-of-the-year-2017-when-pop-nearly-kille-1821231799

Katy Perry ft. Migos, “Bon Appetít”
Maroon 5 f. SZA, “What Lovers Do”
Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift
Ed Sheeran, “New Man”
Louis Tomlinson, “Miss You”
Katy Perry, “Swish Swish”
Miley Cyrus, “Malibu”
Portugal. The Man, “Feel It Still”
Branchez & Big Wet, “Turn Up on the Weekend”
Chainsmokers f. Florida Georgia Line, “Last Day Alive”

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 11:52 (seven months ago) Permalink

why would they include Malibu tho?

also, I know they had to pick a token Sheeran track, but I think they should have clarified in the blurb that every Ed Sheeran track is the worst

niels, Wednesday, 20 December 2017 12:28 (seven months ago) Permalink

is this the shortest a worst-of-the-year thread has ever been, in 2017 of all years

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 18:11 (seven months ago) Permalink

too much horrible shit to mind in all other corners of life imo

Simon H., Wednesday, 20 December 2017 18:16 (seven months ago) Permalink

i was pretty impressed by how awful that branches & big wet song is

na (NA), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 18:29 (seven months ago) Permalink

swish swish is a bad song but it really requires the video to move over into terrible

na (NA), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 18:29 (seven months ago) Permalink

I don't know what a JMSN is, but this is some garbage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrWVngO2gu8

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Thursday, 28 December 2017 03:49 (six months ago) Permalink

That’s the only worst-songs-of-the-year list from a major publication this year? Come on, ILM writers, you can do better than that! Where’s Whiney?

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 28 December 2017 12:20 (six months ago) Permalink

EW’s five worst songs of the year:
5. Katy Perry, “Into Me You See”
4. Post Malone feat. 21 Savage, “Rockstar”
3. The Chainsmokers, “Break Up Every Night”
2. DJ Khaled feat. Chance the Rapper, “I Love You So Much”
1. Bhad Bhabie, “These Heaux”

Five worst albums:
5. Prophets of Rage
4. Lil Yachty, Teenage Emotions
3. The Chainsmokers, Memories... Do Not Open
2. Kid Rock, Sweet Southern Sugar
1. Chris Brown, Heartbreak on a Full Moon

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:54 (six months ago) Permalink

kind of a layup there tbh

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:54 (six months ago) Permalink

time puts post malone at #1:

http://time.com/5048308/top-10-worst-songs-2017/

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:55 (six months ago) Permalink

esquire brings in taylor swift’s powerpoint presentation

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/music/g14470314/worst-songs-of-2017/

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:56 (six months ago) Permalink

not linking uproxx’s because it was poorly written trash

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 16:57 (six months ago) Permalink

young & menace is kind of amazing

imago, Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:02 (six months ago) Permalink

it is! easy to hate though

flamenco drop (BradNelson), Thursday, 28 December 2017 17:13 (six months ago) Permalink

"bhad bhabie" isn't really any worse that a dozen other people doing similar work; picking on her seems unimaginative

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 28 December 2017 18:06 (six months ago) Permalink

if you want to be galaxy brain cynical you will likely not piss off any advertisers by shitting on bhad bhabie

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Thursday, 28 December 2017 18:10 (six months ago) Permalink

anyone who didn’t have qveen herby on their list didn’t plumb the depths enough

maura, Thursday, 28 December 2017 18:25 (six months ago) Permalink

I know 2017 is over, but I'm still plowing through 2017 year-end playlists and just came across this ghastly thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtVFTuIZFYU

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 16:43 (six months ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.