Rolling Worst Music of 2017

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMb4TGFEVYw

"Today we share a new song to inspire the weary-disappointed hearts of so many crest-fallen citizens. We just started working on a new album, but “Smoke ‘em Out” begged to be turned loose on the world now, as a means of participation during these turbulent yet invigorating times. Joined on guest vocals by our fellow Future Feminist ANOHNI, “Smoke ‘em Out” welcomes the new character who will be occupying the White House with a mob of women and children armed with forks and knives. In the wake of this unnatural disaster, we feel a call to rise, shout, and burn the house down. The future is female.
peace, Bianca & Sierra Casady"

"begged to be turned loose"

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:07 (ten months ago) Permalink

also, i got blocked from Anohni's FB page when I dared to bring up CocoRosie's Kill Whitey parties when she posted a link to the song lmao

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:09 (ten months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

fault in our stars actor & lowkey EDM festival DJ attempts to breaks out as a budding pop star with hilariously atrocious results:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4gsAS8h3p0

joshywinty (josh), Monday, 6 February 2017 22:02 (nine months ago) Permalink

Watching the Beta Boys video from the previous year's thread led me down a Youtube recommend alley to the work of their sole female member, "Fellatia Geisha". It's, um, interesting. Not exactly good interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OvXyrySKtU

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:13 (nine months ago) Permalink

Oh wow, she has a new one this week, and um...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLha5zlBQMc

Lots of things going on here, but I can't help zeroing in on the use of an FCUK t-shirt to apparently signify rebellion against "intersectional feminism"

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:27 (nine months ago) Permalink

Was just coming here to post the Ansel track.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:25 (nine months ago) Permalink

abysmal real name of 2017 and hard to see how that track & video will be beaten either

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:34 (nine months ago) Permalink

the second one is kinda like beat poetry on a Thursday night at Borders circa 1999

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:38 (nine months ago) Permalink

I don't hate this ansel elgort thing as much as I should

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:41 (nine months ago) Permalink

I guess I'll tolerate anything* if it's over a decent synthesizer

* except, like, nazi shit, no one post that buzzfeed article, I've read it

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:43 (nine months ago) Permalink

i didn't think it was bad either

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:58 (nine months ago) Permalink

um

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:08 (nine months ago) Permalink

there was an "exposé" a few months about a "burgeoning" "subgenre" of fascist/neo-nazi themed songs over giorgio moroder ripoffs

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:15 (nine months ago) Permalink

So far nothing in this thread is truly awful.

daavid, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 05:05 (nine months ago) Permalink

best/worst thing about the ansel elgort song is his overenunciation of every single word

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

i think he learned it phonetically

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:46 (nine months ago) Permalink

as a person who has actually liked a fair number of FJM/J. Tillman things, his decision to double down on po-faced "political" lyrics has resulted in, I believe, some dizzying new lows worthy of this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT2-0y1542I

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:48 (nine months ago) Permalink

That Elgort video is pretty good on mute, cause you know, cute mostly-naked boy + Cocaine Noir visuals.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:07 (nine months ago) Permalink

I hope his acting is better than his singing, otherwise he might ruin the upcoming Edgar Wright movie that he's starring in.

MarkoP, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:14 (nine months ago) Permalink

The Elgort song is mostly guilty of trying too hard. It reminds me a bit of that Kiefer Sutherland country track from last year in that regard (although that was way funnier).

Those Fellatia Geisha tracks are just straight up appalling, through. Like Kitty (Pryde) performing lyrics written by Milo Yiannopoulos.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:47 (nine months ago) Permalink

haha that ansel elgort song is hilariously bad, thread delivers

fjm is annoyingly bad ;_;

niels, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:19 (nine months ago) Permalink

apparently there's a 13-minute song kicking around but I don't feel up to torturing y'all on that level

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:21 (nine months ago) Permalink

This is from 2014, but I was just sent it because he's touring:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXYgLPBfF_w

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:04 (nine months ago) Permalink

At long last, the lead single of a certain animated group's upcoming 4th album. No, not that one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7A6-WllOSQ

MarkoP, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:21 (nine months ago) Permalink

This Prozzak song isn't good, but they were probably one of the very last turn-of-the-millennium bands that I would have expected to still be around in 2017, so that's something.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:31 (nine months ago) Permalink

Well their upcoming album, due in March, is called "Forever 1999".

MarkoP, Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:12 (nine months ago) Permalink

wow 2017 shaping up to be worse than last year

wonder if that arthur brown shit is to poor for tom waits to sue

niels, Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:03 (nine months ago) Permalink

alternate titles: "Sia Continues To Not Do Subtext"; "I Didn't Expect Melanie Martinez To Be Where Katy Perry Is Being Positioned, Huh"; "If You Told Me Katy Perry Was Doing 'Pleasantville' I Would Have Expected Pinup Shit"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gsGhdZDC-0

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:30 (nine months ago) Permalink

"stumbling around like a wasted zombie" is a great description of whatever the chorus is trying to do

the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:33 (nine months ago) Permalink

there's something so awkward about how capitalism/mainstream pop absorbed counterculture in the way it's expressed here - it's like when Dr. Evil does the "i'm hip" routine

worst indeed

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 18:48 (nine months ago) Permalink

the thing is, it isn't really counterculture at all. it's Sia writing a Sia song that is essentially "Chandelier"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:00 (nine months ago) Permalink

I only meant to suggest that criticizing popular culture within a pop framework is awkward when the content of the critique is so banal/superficial/"without any subtext"

it isn't really counterculture - but doesn't it rely on misconstrued countercultural aesthetics?

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:12 (nine months ago) Permalink

imo a song that tells people they are zombies and have to find real purpose in such vague terms is virtually insidistinguishable from telling people to get real jobs and stop watching reality tv

mh 😏, Sunday, 12 February 2017 20:53 (nine months ago) Permalink

Fuck, Sia has really dropped off in quality since We are Born - not sure if it's related to her sobering up and doing music 24/7 or the money. Happy for her health-wise I guess.

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Monday, 13 February 2017 03:04 (nine months ago) Permalink

xp promo otm and a self-indictment

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:44 (nine months ago) Permalink

am I horrible if I say sia's best bits were zero 7 vocals

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:45 (nine months ago) Permalink

Nope.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 09:51 (nine months ago) Permalink

Otoh, "I'm watching porn in my hotel dressing gown" is v Rolling Worst Music 2002.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 12:11 (nine months ago) Permalink

(picture of Trump in bathrobe)

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 14:40 (nine months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRhZFNHrT6c

k3vin k., Wednesday, 22 February 2017 17:05 (eight months ago) Permalink

Bryson Morris sings that song / so i don't even bother

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 18:40 (eight months ago) Permalink

I like that he has braces.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:08 (eight months ago) Permalink

Dare I stick my head out and admit that I sort of like the Katy Perry song, just a bit put off by the rubbish lyrics and scansion

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:11 (eight months ago) Permalink

I cannot get past that Cocorosie/ANHONI song

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:17 (eight months ago) Permalink

The best thing that I will say about that Perry song is that, after hearing it maybe twice, it doesn't actively annoy me in any way. Other than that, I can't right now recall a single thing about it.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:22 (eight months ago) Permalink

Filed under "Machine-gunning fish in a barrel":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hlSgENWCcU

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2017 15:05 (eight months ago) Permalink

Jessie Ware co-wrote this. I'm horrified

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwzD8U4u76k

monotony, Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:03 (eight months ago) Permalink

Go fuck yourself, Ed.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:11 (eight months ago) Permalink

I have never been as anti-Karmin as most of the rest of the board (aside from joining in the general "wtf" at "Acapella" and a lot of their pre-fame covers; their hit is tolerable IMO) and, while I don't especially enjoy this song, the technical skill needed to keep up that flow without falling off of the beat or tripping over words is impressive. I'm probably not going to play it again though.

PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Friday, 2 June 2017 16:07 (five months ago) Permalink

I never minded "I Want It All." There – I said it.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 2 June 2017 16:11 (five months ago) Permalink

I only remember that "cheerio" song, which can fuck right off.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Friday, 2 June 2017 16:23 (five months ago) Permalink

no talkin bad 'bout little mix

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 2 June 2017 16:35 (five months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

this arcade fire album is gonna be baaad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UymXRxJPOQo

voodoo chili, Friday, 14 July 2017 14:25 (four months ago) Permalink

the abominable playlist has been fully updated for the half year mark.

ILM's Rolling Worst Music Thread 2017 Spotify Playlist

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Friday, 14 July 2017 14:43 (four months ago) Permalink

i never knew this prizewinner existed until i read a few news stories about him being a shitty neighbor in L.A. but here you go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSlb1ezRqfA

nomar, Wednesday, 19 July 2017 20:25 (four months ago) Permalink

With something this amateurish, I genuinely feel too sorry for it to fully hate it, but no, this guy and his crew can fuck right off.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 20:31 (four months ago) Permalink

what the fuck was that

this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Wednesday, 19 July 2017 20:55 (four months ago) Permalink

he's a youtube star

maura, Thursday, 20 July 2017 06:00 (four months ago) Permalink

70m views

utter shite

niels, Thursday, 20 July 2017 07:47 (four months ago) Permalink

good thread addition

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 20 July 2017 11:39 (four months ago) Permalink

It's good that someone's making rap for 80s teen movie villains now.

how's life, Thursday, 20 July 2017 14:49 (four months ago) Permalink

top that

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Thursday, 20 July 2017 14:58 (four months ago) Permalink

lol

how's life, Thursday, 20 July 2017 15:16 (four months ago) Permalink

omg Brad

this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Thursday, 20 July 2017 15:30 (four months ago) Permalink

isis is going to kill us all because of that video

nomar, Thursday, 20 July 2017 16:09 (four months ago) Permalink

http://uproxx.com/music/jake-paul-worst-songs-of-2017/3/

na (NA), Thursday, 20 July 2017 16:25 (four months ago) Permalink

so that's what happened to the "i like turtles" kid. sad!

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 20 July 2017 16:46 (four months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9phCHjI6cI

this one's worse

ufo, Thursday, 20 July 2017 17:26 (four months ago) Permalink

he has such a deeply stupid face: the deeply inset blank eyes, the slack mouth
he's basically moose from the archie comics

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 20 July 2017 18:34 (four months ago) Permalink

this is the worst thing i've heard all year and i'm pretty sure it won't be beaten

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlBIeZi3Ko4

imago, Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:22 (three months ago) Permalink

it's no khalid

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 25 July 2017 13:26 (three months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh87aqB-0KU

monotony, Wednesday, 2 August 2017 00:13 (three months ago) Permalink

lol

niels, Wednesday, 2 August 2017 07:32 (three months ago) Permalink

I've had headphones recently and have been shielded from the garbage output of the criminals in shopping centres and on buses but they are broken. Today there was some mournful dirge in Greggs, it just said "i'm ready" 100 times in a row. I didn't want to complain too much as the sign said freshly baked with pride and i know they do their best but it was just too much

saer, Monday, 7 August 2017 15:22 (three months ago) Permalink

yo jake paul has a message for all of you on this thread

https://youtu.be/jC0BbeFd2zA

na (NA), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 16:02 (three months ago) Permalink

oh dear

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 16:27 (three months ago) Permalink

he's going to wind up in prison sooner rather than later

right? oh i forgot he's a rich white dude

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 16:34 (three months ago) Permalink

yeah, that one kinda leapt off the screen didn't it

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 17:50 (three months ago) Permalink

he's a complete fucking sociopath

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:03 (three months ago) Permalink

guys just like him are partying in 9-bedroom mcmansions in the hamptons right now, phonebook thrown in the pool, peanut butter smeared on the wall, the quiet hum of undocumented cleaning crews picking up after them come sunday afternoon

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:05 (three months ago) Permalink

but where were you when he documented meeting a kid with cancer?

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 8 August 2017 19:19 (three months ago) Permalink

I love chris isaak but this shit is fucked up
https://open.spotify.com/track/1bH8yq5PlCTlzPypoFof7p

niels, Thursday, 10 August 2017 13:42 (three months ago) Permalink

Did he even have anything to do with this, or is this a case of metadata shenanigans? He doesn't seem to be promoting it anywhere.

Anyway, here's the singer in question: https://www.instagram.com/davidsbaumanis/

maura, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:29 (three months ago) Permalink

(I also like that someone on his FB page posted a note to Agent Desmond.)

maura, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:30 (three months ago) Permalink

Some lad called Ron Jelly or something like that. The sooner I get these headphones fixed the better

saer, Thursday, 10 August 2017 14:35 (three months ago) Permalink

Bastille - Basket Case

Spottie, Friday, 18 August 2017 21:12 (three months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

6 Music keep playing this for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhAIzVw9_VQ&list=PLU9Xdwsq_bJaiB2bgVq0lg5ujv7_-gG1o&index=4

Dan Worsley, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:24 (two months ago) Permalink

Try again...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhAIzVw9_VQ

Dan Worsley, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:26 (two months ago) Permalink

reason : mercury prize entrant

mark e, Thursday, 14 September 2017 19:28 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

has Castle on the Hill been mentioned? Ed Sheeran never fails to horrify:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qp5vcuMIlk

his voice, the production, it's all so terrible - but the lyrics are even worse! absolutely dreadful

niels, Sunday, 1 October 2017 18:15 (one month ago) Permalink

That song played dozens of times at the place i worked at over the summer - i hated it so goddamn much and i'm so glad I don't have to be around that office radio anymore. Yeah, we get it ed, your friends in high school were burnouts. that doesn't make you any less of a cheeseball.

josh az (2011nostalgia), Sunday, 1 October 2017 19:15 (one month ago) Permalink

harry styles - sign of the times

Week of Wonders (Ross), Sunday, 1 October 2017 19:25 (one month ago) Permalink

i fully expect "castle on the hill" to be nominated for song of the year grammy

dyl, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:14 (one month ago) Permalink

"Castle On The Hill" is not nearly the worst thing Sheeran's released this year

monotony, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:19 (one month ago) Permalink

yeah it's going to get record/song of the year noms for sure unless the grammys just give up and give every song that hit number one in its nomination period (which ended yesterday) a nod

maura, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:23 (one month ago) Permalink

that list, btw, would be (in reverse chronological order)

bodak yellow
look what you made me do
despacito
i'm the one
that's what i like
humble
shape of you
bad and boujee
black beatles
starboy (woof) and
closer (WOOOFFFF)

maura, Sunday, 1 October 2017 22:25 (one month ago) Permalink

despacito owned the charts huh

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 17:05 (one month ago) Permalink


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