OFFICAL ILX JOE BONAMASSA CELEBRATION THREAD

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the three identical les pauls up front is so amazing

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:01 (ten months ago) Permalink

May We Be Shown Photos of Bonamassa With Middle Aged Ladies?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fd/71/19/fd711954181a62495a1073010fcd4093.jpg

chr1sb3singer, Monday, 16 January 2017 21:03 (ten months ago) Permalink

fuckin' love this guy

never knowingly heard him play a note but just look at him, he's a treasure

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:06 (ten months ago) Permalink

i ask you this in all seriousness: has anyone ever looked less cool playing a guitar

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:07 (ten months ago) Permalink

i ask you this in all seriousness: has anyone ever looked less cool playing a guitar

Yes

http://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-us-president-george-hw-bush-and-political-advisor-lee-atwater-play-78473204.html

chr1sb3singer, Monday, 16 January 2017 21:09 (ten months ago) Permalink

Here, watch him violently shit all over ZZ Top's "Just Got Paid" for twelve minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSQwj3s8Y4s

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:10 (ten months ago) Permalink

I had Joe autograph my JBLP gold top last year. When Joe hefted it up by the neck he quipped "That's about the weight of a nice sized walleye". (It weighs in at 9 lbs, 3 oz.) I guess you need to be a sport fisherman to appreciate that!

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:13 (ten months ago) Permalink

A true story from Joes` recent Bridlington gig.
My mates wife had an empty seat to her right. A dapper little gent in his sixties sat down next to her and was talking on his mobile(cell-phone to our friends across the pond).
"Yes I`m at Brid Spa, some guy called Joe Bonamassa, don`t know anything about him."
We thought he won`t be here for long. After the second song he was jumping about shouting "Joe, Joe, Joe."
To cut a long story short this old chap was now hooked and said," This guy`s better than Clapton and Well

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:14 (ten months ago) Permalink

I talked to Joe after a show here in Atlanta several years ago and asked if he would like to spend the following day riding motorcycles with me and some buddy’s here in the Georgia country side. I am a dealer and could have hooked him up for a nice afternoon of riding. His response to me was “No Way” I am not coordinated at all and can hardly drive a car.
I find that pretty funny considering he sounds like 2 guys playing guitar and singing all at the same time.

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:15 (ten months ago) Permalink

Joe Bonamassa announces Blues Explosion tribute shows

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:16 (ten months ago) Permalink

"Solos are basically 16-to-24-bar marathons. If you run a marathon, you can’t start sprinting, but at the start people need a little fireworks to grab their attention. Then you have to back off and say something with a melody before you start barnstorming." — Joe Bonamassa

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:17 (ten months ago) Permalink

I really have to hand it to someone who is the only person in the world who thought the Blueshammer sequence was completely serious.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 January 2017 21:40 (ten months ago) Permalink

I made it two minutes into "Just Got Paid," that's all I could do.

Fake posts from a failing poster (Dan Peterson), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:42 (ten months ago) Permalink

He's a Tim Heidecker character, right?

attention vampire (MatthewK), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:43 (ten months ago) Permalink

No wait, André Rieu gone electric.

attention vampire (MatthewK), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:45 (ten months ago) Permalink

This wiki bit is comedy gold:

Bonamassa went to Nashville and collaborated with three songwriters there: Jonathan Cain, who has written for Journey; James House, known for his work with Diamond Rio...; and Jerry Flowers, who has written for Keith Urban. Bonamassa explained to the writers that he wasn't interested in creating three-minute radio hits, but just wanted to write some serious blues rock.

Fake posts from a failing poster (Dan Peterson), Monday, 16 January 2017 21:46 (ten months ago) Permalink

He's a Tim Heidecker character, right?

nailed it

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 22:07 (ten months ago) Permalink

how the fuck does that 'just got paid' video have nearly eight million views

here's a pacy seven-minute tear through 'taxman' at the cavern club, featuring a decloaked death from bill and ted's bogus journey on bass guitar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgaM43KCqT4

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 22:15 (ten months ago) Permalink

Death played a stand-up if I recall correctly

chr1sb3singer, Monday, 16 January 2017 22:20 (ten months ago) Permalink

death was inspired to go electric by the sheer power of bonamassa's tone iirc

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 22:24 (ten months ago) Permalink

I believe that

chr1sb3singer, Monday, 16 January 2017 22:24 (ten months ago) Permalink

Thank god. I knew the thread for discussion of guitarists i have only heard of because i read guitar magazines in the late 90s couldn't contain this guy.

how's life, Monday, 16 January 2017 23:02 (ten months ago) Permalink

Oh, and as far as mainstream music magazines go, well, they've pretty much ignored Bonamassa. In a 2011 American Blues Scene interview, when asked why he wasn’t featured on the Rolling Stone Top 100 Guitar Players of All-Time list, Joe replied, "Have you seen who’s on the cover this week? (It was Snooki.) Rolling Stone has about as much credibility as The National Enquirer."

How To: Make the perfect summer jorts (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 23:18 (ten months ago) Permalink

At this point, it surprises almost nobody that when Joe plays guitar, it’s a “masterclass from a force of nature” as the Lancashire Telegraph said.

How To: Make the perfect summer jorts (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 23:19 (ten months ago) Permalink

Bonamassa was performing at the Brady Theater in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on December 9, when he saw a bouncer harassing an audience member. The blues guitarist took his rare 1951 Fender No-caster in hand and gave the guard a whack.

Afterward, he shared a photo of the incident on his Instagram, along with the following note:

“And to the bouncer who harassed one of our fans up front... That is why you can now tell your family and friends what a 51 Fender No-caster to the head feels like. Don’t ever put hands on my fans again. Consider that a love tap reminder.”

How To: Make the perfect summer jorts (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 January 2017 23:32 (ten months ago) Permalink

Bouncer otm

めんどくさかった (Matt #2), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 00:07 (ten months ago) Permalink

oh so standard tuning then. Thank god for that gear rundown!

Sufjan Grafton, Tuesday, 17 January 2017 00:09 (ten months ago) Permalink

Listening to Bonamassa for the first time
It's like I got new ears

Are they still doing the Roadhouse reboot? He totally has to be the Jeff Healey character

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 01:32 (ten months ago) Permalink

WTF

Before he reached 18 years old, Bonamassa was playing in a band called Bloodline with the sons of Miles Davis, Robby Krieger, and Berry Oakley.

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 02:15 (ten months ago) Permalink

https://media.giphy.com/media/WriRAEzCFF9HG/giphy.gif

example (crüt), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 02:24 (ten months ago) Permalink

I strongly dislike this person's clenched anus blues rock

a but (brimstead), Tuesday, 17 January 2017 02:24 (ten months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Joe Bonamassa is known for his collection of incredibly rare sunburst Gibson Les Paul Standards. But his own signature Gibson Les Paul is a goldtop, created for him by the company in 2008.

Bonamassa recently traded in the prototype of the model at Norman’s Rare Guitars. In the video below, he talks about the guitar and how he felt when the prototype was delivered to him.

“When you’re a kid and you see a Gibson Les Paul, and then something that you’ve idolized over the years shows up at your door and it says [your name] on the truss-rod cover—it was a very special day,” he recalls.

Bonamassa immediately put the guitar to work on the recording of his 2009 album, The Ballad of John Henry, which hit Number One on the Billboard Top Blues chart.

The guitar features Gibson Burstbucker pickups and a black back. “I was trying to make like an early ’57,” he explains. It also has mismatched volume and tone knobs. Bonamassa explains that the different feel of the knobs allows him to know which one he’s grabbing without having to look, which is vital when he’s performing and singing.

Bonamassa explains that Gibson was nervous about the guitar, not knowing if his name had enough clout to carry a signature guitar. “This represented a risk on their part, and it represented a journey for me,” he says.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQWcD5YO8Cw

for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 February 2017 10:42 (nine months ago) Permalink

His favorite guitar is a ’59 Les Paul Sunburst, a “Holy Grail” that he actually takes on the road with him.

“I tour nine months a year,” Bonamassa told Gibson.com, in a 2011 interview. “What am I going to do, come home and noodle with it on the couch? Go, ‘Wow look at this, I’ve got a ’59 Les Paul that never gets used, maybe on a recording here and there.’ I’d rather get a nice case for it--which I did--hire an ex-secret service agent as my security guard--which I did (laughs)--and take it on the road.” In an interview with AmericanBluesScene.com, Bonamassa praised the ‘59’ Les Paul’s extraordinary tone. “I have over 300 guitars, but out of all of them, that one is definitely my favorite.”

for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 February 2017 10:53 (nine months ago) Permalink

Those trademark shades he wears vary with the seasons.

“I have four sets of them,” Bonamassa once told GuitarMessenger.com. “I have the 'hot summer show' ones–called Silhouettes, because they wrap around your ears. That prevents them from sliding off. Then, when you get into the wintertime and the theater’s not that hot, I wear a set of Pradas. I also have a set of Ray Bans and a set of Revos. I’m sure I’ve bought enough sunglasses to put somebody’s kid through college.”

for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 February 2017 10:53 (nine months ago) Permalink

why do I keep thinking he's blind?

StanM, Saturday, 1 July 2017 07:15 (five months ago) Permalink

You've seen his wardrobe and hairstyle?

attention vampire (MatthewK), Saturday, 1 July 2017 07:33 (five months ago) Permalink

open goal nonetheless nicely slotted home by the boy matthewk there, brian

bonamasso guitara (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 1 July 2017 10:50 (five months ago) Permalink

stan, you're probably thinking of blind (and dead) wite bloozeman jeff healey, as featured in sam elliott hairstyle showcase roadhouse

bonamasso guitara (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 1 July 2017 10:53 (five months ago) Permalink

I probably do, yeah - the perpetual sunglasses don't help, though.

StanM, Saturday, 1 July 2017 12:11 (five months ago) Permalink

tbh i'm grateful the sunglasses keep us from seeing his eyes - like a couple of raisins dropped in a bowl of porridge, they are

bonamasso guitara (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 1 July 2017 12:27 (five months ago) Permalink

MatthewK - applause.

Jeff Healey was a wite bluesman, it is true. However, he could defensibly say "I don't see color."

space chipmunk (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 1 July 2017 14:06 (five months ago) Permalink

I'm not about to Google image search this, but I feel like this guy and Donald Trump, Jr. are kind of doppelgangers.

Austin, Saturday, 1 July 2017 17:36 (five months ago) Permalink

This dude is the patron saint of the blues lawyer.

Puke and Other Poems (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 1 July 2017 21:23 (five months ago) Permalink

Whenever you see an old white dude who just rediscovered his love of music 9 times out of 10 it's because he saw that fucking PBS Red Rocks Wite Man's Tribute to Da Blooooooz.

Puke and Other Poems (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 1 July 2017 21:23 (five months ago) Permalink

While I can't make it to the end of the vid to confirm, I find it interesting how the cello player sucks all the guitar-face out of the room, leaving our hero to be the subdued one

Mungolian Jerryset (bendy), Sunday, 2 July 2017 01:23 (five months ago) Permalink

I found that video very pleasing, not least because the shitty recording makes both instruments sound like cats scratching frantically at the door - it's almost a "shreds" video for large stretches.
Disappointed he hasn't collaborated with André Rieu though, a match made in heaven.

attention vampire (MatthewK), Monday, 3 July 2017 01:08 (five months ago) Permalink

It's fucks me up that .the second age as this dude.

kurt schwitterz, Monday, 3 July 2017 01:50 (five months ago) Permalink

Oops

It's fucks me up that I'm the same age as this dude.

kurt schwitterz, Monday, 3 July 2017 01:50 (five months ago) Permalink

joe bonamassa should would make a great elendil in peter jackson's 97-hour film of "the silmarillion".

The Saga of Rodney Stooksbury (rushomancy), Monday, 3 July 2017 01:58 (five months ago) Permalink

JOE BONAMASSA YOU ROCK! you've always been there, even when i was really feeling down. especially when i was feeling down. and i'll never be able to pay you back for that ride you gave me to the airport later that night, because your peak hour rate is total bullshit and i'm still unemployed

Karl Malone, Monday, 3 July 2017 03:21 (five months ago) Permalink

I'm sad that the fanpage glossary failed to list my coinage "Bonamasturbate."

space chipmunk (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 3 July 2017 13:20 (five months ago) Permalink

four months pass...

http://www.musicradar.com/news/joe-bonamassa-using-pedals-that-make-you-sound-like-everything-but-your-guitar-is-fking-lazy

“I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man…

“I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!”

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 3 November 2017 18:26 (one month ago) Permalink

looking forward to a Shields/Bonamassa collab in 2027

cosmic brain dildo (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 3 November 2017 20:38 (one month ago) Permalink

Very skeptical of anyone who considers themselves a musician that doesn't —or, in this case, refuses— to see the potential in all types of music gear. Fine to say, "I don't really like to use effects pedals", but to just assume somebody who does is somehow lesser talented and/or knowledgeable just because of that is pretty flawed logic. I mean, I could say, "People who only rely on a guitar and an amp for their tone are destined to continue falling back on blues cliches to the point of becoming boring and predictable."

Also, the way he talks about pedals implies that he doesn't actually know much about what he's trying to talk down to. Referencing specifically, "pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. . . a box that makes it sound like an algorithm." Does he not realize that a good 65%-75% of new pedals that are coming out these days are drive pedals? Sure, some of those will color your tone a bit, but overwhelmingly, they just take your guitar and make it louder. How could he not already know this?

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Saturday, 4 November 2017 03:21 (one month ago) Permalink

I think it may have something to do with his profound lack of imagination.

cosmic brain dildo (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 4 November 2017 15:00 (one month ago) Permalink

He’s just a prototypical blues guitar dork

Spottie, Saturday, 4 November 2017 16:10 (one month ago) Permalink

to be fair he could have been talking about this pedal which is the worst pedal i ever bought and i can't believe i bought it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-N_Ar3xfak

global tetrahedron, Saturday, 4 November 2017 16:44 (one month ago) Permalink

lulz, that is at the top of my wish list right now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Saturday, 4 November 2017 18:36 (one month ago) Permalink

Someone on fb pointed out that Joe sells his own line of pedals. Further research revealed TWENTY-FOUR DIFFERENT JOE BONAMASSA DOG SWEATERS:
https://shop.jbonamassa.com/collections/dog-apparel

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Saturday, 4 November 2017 19:50 (one month ago) Permalink

Protecting the blues? JFC

The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 4 November 2017 21:42 (one month ago) Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/3pAJczv.jpg

earlnash, Sunday, 5 November 2017 03:45 (one month ago) Permalink

lol his rig is so simple and bluesy it only takes nearly seven minutes to explain

https://youtu.be/UqB0fJLALd4

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 5 November 2017 03:57 (one month ago) Permalink

That TC Electronic 2290 Dynamic Digital Delay was originally owned by Charley Patton.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 5 November 2017 11:53 (one month ago) Permalink

haha

The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 6 November 2017 06:32 (one month ago) Permalink

I need to know when the theremin comes into play.

The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 6 November 2017 06:33 (one month ago) Permalink

There was a vid upthread of him theremin-ing out. It's...exactly what you'd expect.

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 6 November 2017 07:03 (one month ago) Permalink

OMFG he is LARS ULRICH PROVE ME WRONG

attention vampire (MatthewK), Monday, 6 November 2017 12:16 (one month ago) Permalink

Lars is so much cooler and more interesting than this guy

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 6 November 2017 12:35 (one month ago) Permalink

speaking of metallica, i saw them live a couple of weeks ago and i noticed kirk playing a battered les paul that looked vaguely familiar - then i remembered i'd read that kirk bought peter green's legendary '59 les paul and i spent the rest of the show trying to work out whether he was indeed playing a $2m guitar onstage

i guess what i'm saying is that i have become the thing i hate

What's the range of an Iranian frogman dipshit? (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 November 2017 12:40 (one month ago) Permalink

Lars sipping champagne and auctioning off Basquiat paintings in Some Kind of Monster is so baller, metal nerds can't handle flossin on that level

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 6 November 2017 12:51 (one month ago) Permalink

Fun fact: Lars' godfather was Dexter Gordon.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 6 November 2017 15:32 (one month ago) Permalink

yeah also maybe Don Cherry? at least i read him and Neneh Cherry were friends as kids

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 6 November 2017 21:17 (one month ago) Permalink

lars is very charismatic, imo, napster bs notwithstanding

brimstead, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 01:28 (one month ago) Permalink

the existence of this thread... i mean, the painfully boring interminable concert i saw on pbs 4 years ago was enough trauma, i never thought i'd be periodically reminded of this silly man and his constipated musical stylings.. it's just crazy, he's is doing is SO wrong. he is getting MUSIC wrong. music is supposed to lift you out of this brutal corporeal existence and create a supernatural experience.. it's not supposed to be like watching a guy bench press and admiring his beads of sweat and furrowed eyebrows.. gahh!

brimstead, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 01:35 (one month ago) Permalink

it's not supposed to be like watching a guy bench press and admiring his beads of sweat and furrowed eyebrows.. gahh!

this isn't the right analogy... i'm just mad at joe and wish i knew why

brimstead, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 01:40 (one month ago) Permalink

Its because he went down to the crossroads and then decided he wanted to be Clapton, and not even the Clapton of Cream or the Dominoes, but the Clapton of 24 nights at the Royal Albert Hall and wearing suits that cost more than the creators of the blues made in their lifetimes.

"Taste's very strange!" (stevie), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:40 (one month ago) Permalink

joe drove through the mcdonalds where the crossroads used to be and a minimum-wage emissary of satan sold him a blues-themed happy meal for the price of his eternal dignity

with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:50 (one month ago) Permalink

Bonamassa is the logical "tasteful" endpoint of that Guitar mag thread....avoiding the late 80s pyrotechnics but the concept of exhibition as an end-point aesthetic, who can only get that magical tone out of 'that' guitar....except he needs to own 326 identical copies.

Master of Treacle, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 15:46 (one month ago) Permalink

now that you mention it i wonder if joe is consumed by burning jealousy at the thought of kirk hammett owning peter green's old les paul instead of him

with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 15:47 (one month ago) Permalink

But those guys were my guys – Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page. There's a certain sophistication to their approach to the blues that I really like, more so than the American blues that I was listening to. B.B. King's a big influence – he's probably my biggest traditional influence. I love Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson and T-Bone Walker and stuff like that, but I couldn't sit down. I was always forcing myself to listen to whole records by them, where I'd rather listen to Humble Pie do "I'm Ready" than Muddy Waters, you know? I think, the English interpretation of the blues just hit me a lot better, you know?

I think Joe would be good at SHOCKING ILM confessions.

Gavin, Leeds, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 16:07 (one month ago) Permalink

so he's def consumed with burning jealousy at kirk hammett owning peter green's guitar

with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 16:08 (one month ago) Permalink

he's such a normie he probably doesn't even know peter green

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 16:21 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

I just watched a really boring experimental guitarist and I'm suddenly much more sympathetic to Joe's views on effects pedals.

na (NA), Saturday, 2 December 2017 03:51 (one week ago) Permalink

FP

he doesn't need to be racist about it though. (Austin), Saturday, 2 December 2017 06:44 (one week ago) Permalink


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