Best "Right Now" caption in Van Halen's "Right Now" video

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Happy 25th anniversary of Van Halen's FOR UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE.

(I had to delete two items to make this hit the 50-option mark, so I nixed "Right now a tired man with a wounded heart is sitting in a coach seat on an eastbound transatlantic flight looking out the window wondering how to say "dog" "howl" and "moon" in French just in case it comes up" because it was too long for the poll and combined the two M-5 cards.)

Poll Results

Right now, Mike is thinking about a solo project. 5
Right now, science is building a better tomato. 3
Right now, God is killing moms and dogs because he has to. 3
Right now, oil companies and old men are in control. 1
Right now your memory is getting longer while your life is getting shorter. 1
Right now we must be going. 1
Right now, pigs are becoming lunch. 1
Right now is just a space between ice ages. 1
Right now it's nicer in Cabo. 1
Right now, you wish you had a larger TV. 1
Right now, somebody's got the wrong idea. 1
Right now there is no cure. 1
Right now, people are having unprotected sex. 1
Right now, forces are aligning against you. 1
Right now, blacks and whites don't eat together very much. 1
Right now, you could be outside. 1
Right now dogs have it good. 1
Right now oysters are being robbed of their sole possession. 1
Right now your parents miss you. 1
Right now, the truth is being obscured. 1
Right now, time is having its way with you. 0
Right now, someone is walking onto a nude beach for the first time. 0
Right now, our government is doing things we think only other countries do. 0
Right now, Ed's got his hands full. 0
Right now keeps happening. 0
Right now a bowl of soup would be nice. 0
Right now people are doing it for money. 0
Right now is not the fault of the Japanese. 0
Right now, the light from a star in M-5 is heading toward earth. Right now, light that left M-5 a thousand years ago is 0
Right now is harder than it looks. 0
Right now you aren't doing what you most wish you were. 0
Right now she is going on with her life. 0
Right now, a mad man is wandering the streets of the town you live in. 0
Right now maybe we should pay attention to the lyrics. 0
Right now, justice is being perverted in a court of law. 0
Right now, guilt is turning someone inside out. 0
Right now, Van Halen is planning a world tour. 0
Right now, there's a bomb factory hard at work. 0
Right now you are sitting too close. 0
Right now, Ed is playing the piano. 0
Right now, it's business as usual in the woods. 0
Right now, nothing is more expensive than regret. 0
Right now, people who can't read breathe are bumming. 0
Right now youth is king. 0
Right now is a good time to repent. 0
Right now, someone is working too hard for minimum wage. 0
Right now a convenience store is open. 0
Right now no one is safe from loneliness. 0
Right now it's cold where someone you love is. 0
Right now, opportunity is passing you by. 0

maura, Monday, 21 March 2016 04:27 (five years ago) link

maura, Monday, 21 March 2016 04:28 (five years ago) link

dogs obvs

davey, Monday, 21 March 2016 04:37 (five years ago) link

forces aligning

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 21 March 2016 04:40 (five years ago) link

Breathe/bumming, I don't get it

stanley krubrick (rip van wanko), Monday, 21 March 2016 04:44 (five years ago) link

anti cigarette bit

maura, Monday, 21 March 2016 04:45 (five years ago) link

Moms and dogs, duh

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Monday, 21 March 2016 07:49 (five years ago) link

can't pick

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:17 (five years ago) link

Thought I always thought the bare nude beach feet were p evocative

Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:17 (five years ago) link

Mike's solo album. Right now I'm still waiting!

DavidLeeRoth, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:25 (five years ago) link

surprisingly moving

Poliopolice, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:26 (five years ago) link

Right now Sting is picking his nose.

MarkoP, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:28 (five years ago) link

Right now, science is building a better tomato.

is this a matter-of-fact statement about plant breeding or a rant about scientists devoting all their energy to useless consumer products/foods when they should be curing AIDS and putting a man on Mars? gonna share some of these freeze-frames on facebook, they're pretty deep.

small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Monday, 21 March 2016 14:33 (five years ago) link

Would make a great costume for cheap:

pplains, Monday, 21 March 2016 14:51 (five years ago) link

"Right now, Mike is thinking about a solo project"

// 166,000 W A N K E R S // LOVE (Turrican), Monday, 21 March 2016 18:10 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 14 April 2016 00:01 (five years ago) link

I kind of like the semi-clueless failed social commentary of "right now blacks and whites don't eat together very much."

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Thursday, 14 April 2016 01:07 (five years ago) link

This video was a total piece of smug shit. God the 90s were awful.

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 14 April 2016 01:19 (five years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 15 April 2016 00:01 (five years ago) link

I bet each band member could contribute whatever he wanted (Cabo reference obviously Sammy) and the rest was padded out by a literary type

calstars, Friday, 15 April 2016 00:18 (five years ago) link

VH's stab at art

calstars, Friday, 15 April 2016 00:18 (five years ago) link

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