Vote Now for ILM's WORST SONG of 2015 - Voting Closed

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Simple ballot: Your top five worst songs with your #1 scored as 5 points, #2 scored as 4 points, #3 scored as 3 points, #4 scored as 2 points, #5 scored as 1 point. Would love to get at least 20 ballots.

Send your picks to forksclovet✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧

The following listed tracks are all the 2015 songs mentioned on this year's rolling fuck this shit worst songs of 2015 thread

Here's the Spotify playlist if you wanna subject yourself to the fury:
http://open.spotify.com/user/forksclovetofu/playlist/3slfZre0izEZTHplBD5OLu

Feel free to use this thread to nominate unlisted tracks or to rally the hoi polloi behind an individual shitty song.

Ballots due by December 31. Let's race to the bottom.

3OH!3 - My Dick
5 Seconds of Summer - Hey Everybody!
5 Seconds of Summer - She’s Kinda Hot
Alaska Thunderfuck - This Is My Hair
Albatraoz - Albatraoz
AronChupa - I’m an Albatraoz
Baby Dic - Death Metal Dizzle
Nick Bean - Wifi Wifey
Jon Bellion - All Time Low
Justin Bieber - Children
Big Smo - Got Me
Birdcloud - Black Guys
Black Eyed Peas with David Guetta - Awesome
Bloc Party - The Love Within
Blues Traveler with 3OH!3 and JC Chasez - Blow Up The Moon
Brothers NYC - Moonshine Mama
Luke Bryan - Kick the Dust Up
Cee Lo Green - Robin Williams
Clean Bandit - Extraordinary
Connell Cruise - Into the Wild
Kat Dahilia - I Think I’m in Love
Darlia - I’ve Never Been to Ohio
Death Team - Dolphin Style
Death Team - Fucking Bitches in the Hood
Jason Derulo - Want To Want Me
Electro Velvet - Still in Love With You
Fall Out Boy - Centuries
Fetty Wap - 679
Aretha Franklin - Rollin’ In the Deep (Ralph’s Rolling in The Dub Remix)
GIRLI - So You Think You Can Fuck With Me Do Ya
Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do
Lukas Graham - Strip No More
Lukas Graham - Mama Said
Andy Grammar - Honey I’m Good
Ariana Grande - Focus
David Guetta - What I Did For Love
Halsey - New Americana
Coleman Hell - 2 Heads
The Heydaze - Dumb
Chris Holmes - Born Work Die
Chris Holmes - Way To Be
Sam Hunt - Take Your Time
J Sutta - Feline Resurrection
Jos-B - Ladies First (The Gentleman’s Song)
Life of Dillon - Overload
Little Big Town - Girl Crush
LIZ - When I Rule the World
Tove Lo - Timebomb
Demi Lovato - Cool for the Summer
LunchMoney Lewis - Bills
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (with Grandmaster Caz, Kool Moe Dee and Melle Mel) - Downtown
Manika with Tyga - I Might Go Lesbian
Micachu and The Shapes - Oh Baby
MIKA - Good Guys
Mister Traumatik - I Love Females
Roslyn Moore - In the Burbs
Ollie Murs with Travie McCoy - Wrapped Up
Neves - Five Night at Treasure Island / It’s a Small World
Joanna Newsom - Sapokanikan
OMI - Hula Hoop
Nickelback - She Keeps Me Up
Christopher Owens - Selfish Feelings
Rachel Platten - Fight Song
PPL MVR - Annie
The Prettiots - Boys (I Dated in High School)
PSY with CL of 2NE1 - Daddy
Charlie Puth with Meghan Trainor - Marvin Gaye
Nate Ruess - AhHa
Ed Sheeran - Dirrty (Live at The Live Lounge)
William Singe - Trap Queen
SlimJesus - Drill Time
Britney Spears with Iggy Azalea - Pretty Girls
Splurt - #OMW2SYG (Swiggity Swooty)
Rod Stewart - Batman Superman Spiderman
Nikki Tino - Shake that Lala
Train - Bulletproof Picasso
Meghan Trainor - Dear Future Husband
Meghan Trainor - Better When I’m Dancin
Truth - Left Swipe Dat
Uncle Ezra Ray - B.Y.H.B.
Bryce Vine - The Thug Song
Jacob Whitesides - Let’s Be Birds
Wiz Khalifa and Fall Out Boy - Staying Out All Night (Boys of Zummer Remix)

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 04:27 (three years ago) link

That email to submit your ballot to is forksclovetofu at gmail dot com

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 04:27 (three years ago) link

I was confounded by the many and varied choices of horror in this list, and then I hit 'Dear Future Husband'. Yup.

emil.y, Friday, 11 December 2015 04:35 (three years ago) link

That one is particularly dreadful, but I've spent so much of the year hating "Marvin Gaye" it would be disingenuous to vote otherwise. (Plus, it's still Meghan Trainor!)

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Friday, 11 December 2015 04:44 (three years ago) link

Oh wait, we get five!

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Friday, 11 December 2015 04:44 (three years ago) link

i would like to respectfully / regretfully expose you to my pick for worst song of 2015, the much memed monstrosity "#OMW2SYG (Swiggity Swooty)" by Splurt.
Watch once and never again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSam5sBjvPk

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 05:20 (three years ago) link

my #2 with a bullet is Cee-Lo's "Robin Williams"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfesrob8hW4

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 05:21 (three years ago) link

And probably Andy Grammar's goddamn 'Honey I'm Good' third.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 05:24 (three years ago) link

Voted!

Will you be confirming?

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 December 2015 05:47 (three years ago) link

Yup, will do. And i got it!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 06:27 (three years ago) link

I'd very much like to encourage voters to say a few words about their picks if you're into it.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 06:31 (three years ago) link

Meghan Trainor is hilarious

welltris (crüt), Friday, 11 December 2015 16:01 (three years ago) link

Anyone who doesn't think that "Honey I'm Good" is the worst song of the year hasn't heard it.

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 December 2015 18:44 (three years ago) link

2 voters so far... it's an easy ballot! Send em in early!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 December 2015 18:46 (three years ago) link

listening to the whole spotify playlist (from hell), sending a ballot as soon as possible.

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 12 December 2015 01:14 (three years ago) link

Aww man, I really like "Girl Crush" and the Jason Derulo song!

Got Christopher Owens in my crosshairs though

bunny slopes, Saturday, 12 December 2015 01:23 (three years ago) link

Maaan, Meghan Trainor puts up a valiant fight but there's no way this isnt Fucking Bitches in the Hood

Drugs A. Money, Sunday, 13 December 2015 08:13 (three years ago) link

i've heard three of these and i quite like two of them! wait, no, i didn't see 'dear future husband'.

carly rae jetson (thomp), Sunday, 13 December 2015 09:10 (three years ago) link

A few of these (Fetty Wap, Jason Derulo, Demi Lovato) don't belong here at all and should be in contention for the 77

It's Marvin Gaye vs Honey I'm Good for ultimate worst for me but that J Sutta thing is also truly abominable

art baengels (monotony), Sunday, 13 December 2015 13:26 (three years ago) link

the first 10 seconds of that Nate Ruess song are amazing

scarlett bohansson (unregistered), Monday, 14 December 2015 04:37 (three years ago) link

It's Big Sean IDFWU imo

albvivertine, Monday, 14 December 2015 05:06 (three years ago) link

i think of that as one of the worst songs of 2014 tbh

again though, the songlist comes from songs mentioned in the thread (hence fetty, demi, derulo and other songs that lots of people on ilx will happily ryde or die for)

write-ins are totally welcome

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Monday, 14 December 2015 19:57 (three years ago) link

given that marvin gaye is the worst song of the new millennium...

maura, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 15:23 (three years ago) link

sorry train and vanessa carlton/counting crows, you had a good run

maura, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 15:23 (three years ago) link

i always listen to twenty seconds of "marvin gaye" and then turn it off so you might be right! I guess for me, worst song is the worst song i can stomach powering through and anything that I can't even get that far with doesn't qualify.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:13 (three years ago) link

i think macklemore's "downtown" is something we can all get behind here

marcos, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:39 (three years ago) link

the video is a sack of dogshit too

marcos, Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:40 (three years ago) link

Macklemore is a tire fire given human form

you're breaking the NAP (DJP), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:46 (three years ago) link

it's hard for me to hate (or especially WANT to hate) downtown when it is getting Caz, KMD and Melle Mel paid
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/hip-hop-pioneers-from-macklemores-downtown-get-long-overdue-props-20150918

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 15 December 2015 20:54 (three years ago) link

Thanks for doing this poll Forks. The countdown should be fun! I will be sending a ballot, it's just been affected by Christmas. Not because it's a busy time, but because the music in shops has made all this stuff seem kinda good.

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Thursday, 24 December 2015 11:34 (three years ago) link

Coolio. Right now it's three ballots; twenty would make it interesting and more would make it more interesting!

Again, you want to mail forksclovetofu at gmail dot com your top five worst songs of the year. Your #1 gets five points, #2 gets four points, #3 gets three points, #4 gets two points, #5 gets one point. Simple stuff, so vote.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 December 2015 16:59 (three years ago) link

You could always extend the deadline a while past Jan 1st... For this poll, prolonging the agony is highly appropriate.

Meghan Trainor's "Better When I'm Dancin'" is an improvement, dare I say it? Though she does fail to pronounce the word "music". She calls it "moozic", for some reason.

Melody Thomas discussed the badness of "Dead Future Husband" or whatever the title is, on Radio New Zealand's Matinee Idle.

Thanks to all contributors for an entertaining and informative year of crappery. On some level, the world probably needs bad moozic, in order for there to be so much great moozic.

For my ballot, I would have voted for the properly hateful shit, but it would've meant a very grim ballot topped by "I Love Females". And as heinous as that song is as a (mis)use of music, I feel bad giving it any credit at all. Even in this.

So instead, I went for the super awesome funny-but-crap option. Songs that remind me of talent, even if they display little of it. They're also the ones that gave me the most laughs, which is why I enjoy these threads after all:

5: Baby Dic - "Death Metal Dizzle"
Baby Dic is one outrageous dude. A totally outrageous paradigm.

4: Black Eyed Peas with David Guetta - "Awesome (This Is Awesome)"
It's not awesome. BUT hearing a band desperately pad out a song to four times its official "full" length... that's awesome.

3: Roslyn Moore - "In the Burbs"
The sub-burbs really aren't as cool as Roslyn thinks, nor as hellish as she makes them sound. Tune's okay, in a kind of annoying way.

2: Chris Holmes - "Born Work Die"
"Shove this tuner up your ass". Six minutes long.

1: AronChupa - "I'm an Albatraoz"
All kinds of daft. This song's stupidity has also infected the Wikipedia article about it:

Ekberg raps about a woman who she calls a mouse and refers to in a vulgar way.

The word albatraoz is a made up word, created to reference an albatross[4] and the group itself. Mouse is also a play on words, as the Swedish for mouse is 'mus', which also means vagina, or pussy, which can also mean 'cat'.

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Saturday, 26 December 2015 08:58 (three years ago) link

totally doing a write-in campaign for "Hotline Bling"

i got a really big steen, and they need some really big zings (some dude), Saturday, 26 December 2015 12:02 (three years ago) link

Jason Derulo - Want To Want Me

no

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 26 December 2015 14:12 (three years ago) link

the ballot options looks like a masterfully crafted list of fake 'worst' songs, would excelsior if not real

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 26 December 2015 14:47 (three years ago) link

I think I need to do a write in vote for Taylor Swift's Bad Blood Remix.

MarkoP, Saturday, 26 December 2015 17:49 (three years ago) link

Why this separate poll when the big one that serves the same purpose will kick off soon?

EZ Snappin, Saturday, 26 December 2015 17:55 (three years ago) link

ho ho ho

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 26 December 2015 17:57 (three years ago) link

Why not just use this one? (Once it gets enough votes.) I think this is only the second year when there's been any 'Worst Song' poll.

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Saturday, 26 December 2015 21:33 (three years ago) link

Okay y'all, time to actually do this if you're doing it. Put your vote in tonight!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 18:40 (three years ago) link

Shit, I actually signed up for spotify for the first time so I could scope all these terrible songs. Is it Dec 31 by midnight? If so, I think I can do this on my commute tonight and tomorrow.

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 18:46 (three years ago) link

December 31 means end of day tomorrow but everybody is gonna be gettin drunk then so beat the rush.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 18:48 (three years ago) link

You may need extra booze

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 20:00 (three years ago) link

What's the deal with Slem Igen?

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 21:20 (three years ago) link

Well, so far this is easier than the time I tried to brute-force myself into liking animal collective.

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 21:33 (three years ago) link

This Nate Ruess song is pretty unlistenable.

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 21:47 (three years ago) link

voted "Hotline Bling" for its pernicious virality, cover versions, memes etc. fucking worst crap ever.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 22:00 (three years ago) link

Just realized that Ex's and Oh's isn't on here. Shame. That's the worst one I've heard in the wild.

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 22:19 (three years ago) link

Oh wait, I just got to the My Neck cover. Never. Fucking. Mind.

how's life, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 22:20 (three years ago) link

How many songs were nommed for both best and worst?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 30 December 2015 23:17 (three years ago) link

By my count (and i'm doing a lot of counting with this nonsense these days!) that honor was bestowed on Fall Out Boy, Fetty Wap, Ellie Goulding, Sam Hunt, Demi Lovato and Joanna Newsom.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 December 2015 00:49 (three years ago) link

er, that is the artists were nominated for both. If you mean the exact song, that would be "679" from Fetty Wap, "Take Your Time" from Sam Hunt and "Cool For the Summer" by Demi.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 December 2015 00:51 (three years ago) link

Let us not forget this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_H5fhBoeJU

MarkoP, Thursday, 31 December 2015 01:15 (three years ago) link

What's the deal with Slem Igen?

Niels could explain more, but the Danish "Blak & Jimillian" lyrics, when translated into garbled English, seem to be very Thicke-esque. (Or Thicke's-ghostwriter-esque or whatever.)

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Thursday, 31 December 2015 01:30 (three years ago) link

Oh "Slem Igen"'s the title, oh wgaf

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Thursday, 31 December 2015 01:31 (three years ago) link

I'd like to put a good word in for "Strip No More"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Thursday, 31 December 2015 02:14 (three years ago) link

Voted!

art baengels (monotony), Thursday, 31 December 2015 03:56 (three years ago) link

8 ballots and about 24 hours to go! Easy poll to vote in, you only need one least fave to enter!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 December 2015 06:20 (three years ago) link

I'll have something for sure

how's life, Thursday, 31 December 2015 11:48 (three years ago) link

5 is really tough. So many of these deserve to be recognized for their awfulness.

how's life, Thursday, 31 December 2015 12:39 (three years ago) link

Sent. Worth noting that Elle King - My Neck, My Back is not included on the list above, but IS on the spotify playlist so I voted for it. Her and Meghan Trainor should win some kind of white dude in the old man hat voice prize.

how's life, Thursday, 31 December 2015 12:50 (three years ago) link

11 ballots now, put in your vote today!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 December 2015 16:11 (three years ago) link

I'll put some of these covers into Worst & Best cover songs? when I get time. (Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" = best, obviously)

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Thursday, 31 December 2015 19:42 (three years ago) link

I'm doing this first thing once I get home tonight.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Thursday, 31 December 2015 20:25 (three years ago) link

please do! i have 13 ballots right now and would like to get it to at least 20 and then do a top 10.
make my sad, sad, sad dream a reality.
Also, anyone want to help with graphics for the roll out?

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 31 December 2015 21:06 (three years ago) link

All it takes is 1-5 bad songs people! Get your votes in!

how's life, Thursday, 31 December 2015 22:00 (three years ago) link

I VO(mi)TED

Sushi and the Banchan (Spectrist), Friday, 1 January 2016 01:56 (three years ago) link

Now is your time, latecomers and lurkers, and of course all our Ilmers in American Samoa where 2015 still hasn't ended.

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Friday, 1 January 2016 10:33 (three years ago) link

okay, that's 16. I'm gonna go to a party and then cut this off when I'm back. Any late votes, get em in now and I'll roll out the top ten Monday

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 January 2016 17:50 (three years ago) link

voted!

dronestreet, Friday, 1 January 2016 18:22 (three years ago) link

xp Please load this playlist at the party plzzzzz ok maybe not

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Friday, 1 January 2016 19:29 (three years ago) link

1 short of 20... there's a tie at the top! Help break it!

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 January 2016 19:45 (three years ago) link

Easy poll to vote in

It's not that easy if it involves purposedly submitting yourself to music that is most likely awful.

moans and feedback (Dinsdale), Friday, 1 January 2016 20:50 (three years ago) link

Hey, if Tame Impala fans can do it..

What's the usual tiebreak method? P4k popularity?

flyingtrain (sbahnhof), Friday, 1 January 2016 23:32 (three years ago) link

Forks, let us know when you finally decide to stop accept votes and I'll update the thread title accordingly.

how's life, Friday, 1 January 2016 23:33 (three years ago) link

i voted, hopefully made it in under the wire

i got a really big steen, and they need some really big zings (some dude), Saturday, 2 January 2016 02:16 (three years ago) link

yup, you're in al
we got 21! Let's close it and I'll try to get something together for a Monday top 13 roll-out.

Does that make you mutter, under your breath, “Damn”? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 2 January 2016 02:20 (three years ago) link

w00t may the terriblest win!

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Saturday, 2 January 2016 02:22 (three years ago) link

if I had known the name of Alessia Cara – "Here" I would have posted it in the rolling worst songs thread

welltris (crüt), Sunday, 3 January 2016 04:59 (three years ago) link

Yeah, its dreadful.

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Sunday, 3 January 2016 05:34 (three years ago) link

can't wait for it to show up in the top 77(?) rollout and hear the chorus of moans

dyl, Sunday, 3 January 2016 06:13 (three years ago) link

actually idk it probably won't, i don't remember noticing much enthusiasm for it here

dyl, Sunday, 3 January 2016 06:13 (three years ago) link

I finallyheard Marvin Gaye yesterday, prob would've been worth a vote but guessing it'll do Ok on this poll anyway.

albvivertine, Sunday, 3 January 2016 06:41 (three years ago) link


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