Worst ever festival line up?

This years T In The Park festival may have the worst line up In its history, but what are the worst you have ever seen?

http://i.imgur.com/7SgZu9W.jpg

Most festival lineups in the past five years are interchangeable and indistinguishable from one another.

i feel like the promoters arent even trying here

a) if I were sorry enough to be one of Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, I'd be quietly devastated by this poster; b) I'm amazed at the low billing of Jessie Ware and Modest Mouse.

Modest Mouse (the only band on the bill i like) have never had any hits in the UK

Charli XCX is also really low.

Hard to justify Jessie Ware being any higher on that bill. There's a couple of things I'd see on the Friday and the Saturday, but the Sunday looks pretty dire.

admittedly I am prejudiced in that I have no fucking idea who the wombats are

I hadn't even noticed Jessie J was playing

T in the Park is always wey-heytheladslagerlagerlager though isn't it so mid-tempo hands-in-the-air rock singalongs always the order of the day.

It wasnt like that when it started in Strathclyde Park, Hamilton.

Sunday night line-up on the first T in the Park, Strathclyde Park July 1994:

Primal Scream
Del Amitri
Teenage Fanclub
Crowded House
The Saw Doctors
Gun
Grant Lee Buffalo
Baby Chaos

Id rather see Primal Scream headline T In The Park over Primark Scream who headline this years.

Holy shit, that line-up's fucking awful!

Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds headlining over The Prodigy? #scotland

the prodigy headlined in 95 (was amazing). the next year they played about 3rd on the bill so in daylightdespite having had #1s and being huge. I forget if it was Pulp or Radiohead headlined that day. (i saw Leftfield instead of Radiohead and Afghan Whigs instead of Pulp)

Leftfield finished about 20 mins before the curfew time so i left early to get a taxi up the road (was too knackered to walk 15 mins up the hill ) and i walked outside to the surreal site of 200 riot police in full kit. Nobody else around. Apparently a few hours earlier some motherwell casuals had crossed the park to try burst their way in. (half the park is in Hamilton half is in Motherwell and TITP was on the Hamilton side)

the Kink Festival in Orlando last year had a solid 1-2 punch conclusion of Gojira and Mastodon, but the rest of the lineup was...

Puddle of Mudd
Nonpoint
Devour the Day
Crobot
Islander

the Puddle of Mudd show was so embarrassingly bad. at one point Wes (the lead singer) went on a weird (probably substance-inspired) rambling monologue, and then he says "so I talked to my mother this morning" and my friend yells back "and she said 'make sure to lock up when you come in tonight!'".

also they did a limp dicked cover of War Pigs god I wanted to murder em.

but seriously tho I know Mastodon/Gojira have a wider appeal than other metal bands but who the fuck thought pairing them with nu-metal acts that nobody likes anymore was a good idea.

oh and hardly anybody showed up until the last two bands, apparently the festival was a huge bust and did poorly financially

what a strange kind of festival to have gojira and puddle of mudd. I suppose mastodon have softened a bit so possibly could have fans of both but....

Never heard of the others.

Nonpoint are having some kind of resurgence apparently. they opened for Megadeth and they had a fuckin' street team at the show (wtf is this 1999).

weirdly heartened to hear that puddle of mudd are still going

Guilfest wins this title every year but yeah, for a festival as big as T in the Park this is wretched.

Gutted that Wireless, which is around the corner from me, has leaned EDM this year. Kendrick and Nicki Minaj are playing, but Avicii and David Guetta are headlining. Clearly this is the summer of the EDM hacks.

I keep forgetting that people like The Script and Twin Atlantic (a) exist and (b) are huge. Only on ILM would anyone be surprised that Jessie Ware and Charli XCX are low on the bill.

New Prodigy single is the worst thing you will hear at that festival or at least joint worst.

it's very terrible, this is true.

My vote goes to T in the Park 2015 (10-12 July)

http://riseabovefest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/MONDAY-RAF.png

Note Nonpoint (here sadly identified as Non Point) crossover, but the lineup's a million times worse than the Orlando festival HSB mentioned.

i take it that wasn't what rollins meant when he said he was going to rise above

TITP turned into a shitter V festival

Godsmack as a headlining act!?!

maine, tbf

is there something particular about Maine?

maybe not the worst ever but i follow fred durst for whatever reason and he posted this and it made me thinkg of this thread

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-U9mjWCQAAZu_s.jpg

Hopsin's Wikipedia entry is depressing.

never heard of hopsin

Imagine Odd Future, but even shittier.

'featuring everlast'

It's still 2002 in vast swathes of America it seems

The aptly-named Amnesia Rockfest is always good for a laugh. This year:

http://static.deathandtaxesmag.com/uploads/2015/02/amnesia-rockfest-2015-lineup.jpg

At least they're honest.

that's the ideal festival for someone who's been in a coma for 15 years whose family want to take them to see live music but their doctors don't want them to know how long they were unconscious for just yet

that should say Michale Graves "formerly" of Misfits, dammit

I bet Snoop is in for a rapturous reception at that festival.

it'd be great if all he's doing is lecturing

The Pixies seem like an incongruous inclusion too.

what's with all the bands having preplanned album sets. I mean I know this is a thing now and I've seen many shows like this and have no objection to the format, but the choices for the album are a bit weird. ie why aren't Deftones doing "White Pony", I know people like "Around the Fur" but it's pretty far removed from who they are as a band now. I realize "And Out Come the Wolves" was Rancid's commercial breakthrough but it isn't as if it sounds that different from their other albums, a mixed set would be more fun from them.

Offspring performing Americana? fucking terrible album! at least when they did Smash in its entirety last year it was fun to relive all of the songs that got me excited as a 13 year old.

Mostly tho this poster looks like it was pulled from 2003.

http://www.rock-fest.com/lineup

I win

Redlight King, god they are so bad

re: Rise Above Fest, Butcher Babies are one of the worst bands I've ever fucking heard. There are plenty of phenomenal female-fronted metal/rock bands out there that are making great music. This one insults the audience by pretending these bands don't exist and presenting female-fronted metal as a novelty, solely playing off of the hotness of its two leads, while playing generic nu-metal that sounds fresh out of 2001.

some decent (and once-decent) acts playing the amnesia fest. lost in time, but not complete garbage.

I would go for Slayer, Bad Religion, Descendents, All, Buzzcocks, Flogging Molly, Coheed (fuck off), Ministry, Skinny Puppy, Melvins, Fear Factory, Down, and Propagandhi. not a bad lineup at all.

starting to side-eye the takedowns of this festival that I've seen off-board. like people suggesting "how can you support a LIVENATION festival", as if they don't have a pretty big monopoly on shows/festivals. pretty much everybody sharing this one viral status criticizing the festival has been to a LiveNation show.

but the weirdest take is IT'S GONNA BE A SUPERSPREADER EVENT. the event is in October 2022. We might be in the throes of another variant wave, we might not. we don't know. should nobody plan any events at all, ever?

I mean, us having moved to the endemic phase by then is not a forgone conclusion, no, but if we're still fighting something like an Omicron wave or worse at that time, chances are it will be cancelled anyway. Now people calling people that are even thinking of attending the event "superspreaders", that's concern trolling at its finest.

(keep in mind I wouldn't set foot at this thing if you paid me)

Yeah, Neanderthal, those are the two exact takes I kept seeing pop up last night, both felt really weird. I've also seen a lot of tweets along the lines of, "what will Bright Eyes think when they learn more about LiveNation's business practices?!?!?!" Uh they are probably well aware and have decided it's a necessary evil in order to make money as a touring band in 2022. I hate them too, but let's not blame the bands and fans when there really aren't many feasible alternatives popping up to choose from.

The AstroWorld fest was an unlikely to be completely repeated Perfect Storm clusterfuck.

I mean...I don't like LiveNation, and I think they hire complete psychos for security at shows (one of whom who demanded I show him my ticket when I entered the pit, minutes after I was told I didn't need to do that by another security guard, and that I'd only need to show my wristband. and when I asked why I had to show my ticket when I had my wristband, she screamed at me and said nasty abusive shit. I couldn't find any way to report her to LiveNation other than report her to another security person, which...lol).

and most of the shows I go to aren't LiveNation, cos I usually go to metal shows put on by one or two promoters in town who I know and are good dudes.

but....if I want to go to any big show, esp one at an ampitheater, I probably have no choice. it's like...Live Nation was terrible long before Astro World, idk how to break this to people. it's not exactly a good thing for billion-dollar global corporations like Ticketmaster/Live Nation to have a near monopoly on this shit, but we saw how well the Pearl Jam boycott worked. the game is rigged, I have to grin and bear it if I want to see a band that has more than 500 fans and is playing outdoors at some place with capacity of more than 1000 people.

the alternatives weren't much better, too. when TicketFly existed (before EventBrite folded them in), their fees weren't as bad as Ticketmaster, but they were still pretty hideous.

(yes, if you can buy directly from one of the bands, always do it, always always)

The Superspreaders are Sub Pop's premier cowpunk band, IIRC

lol

lol my stepbrother's old band are in the UK joke version.

"i wonder how many bands are going to be no-shows when they learn more about LiveNation"

no joke, this is the funniest thing i have seen in a while

seeing that and subsequent discussion of LiveNation as if it is some surprise / little known entity is making me feel like i have passed into a bizarro world or something

Yeah are there a lot of people who only know about livenation bc of astroworld, I guess?

i'm sure there are. and i guess that's what you see here.

it's just not in any way connected to reality.

the thought of one member of, like, All American Rejects reading LiveNation's Wikipedia entry, horrified, and calling a band meeting to discuss whether or not they should take a stand is hilarious

it's bizarre to me because not only did you get routed to LiveNation's site when buying tickets to a LiveNation show, some of the ampitheaters around the country are renamed to LiveNation Ampitheater, and the security staff and other employees all wear LiveNation gear.

like....boggles my mind that people are treating them like a new monster

wait til these bands find out about las vegas

wait until they find out about emo

(too far?)

i want Jesus is a Cunt festival

predict at least 2 band members get cancelled before the festival does

lol

I have bad news for all of you

That's it folks, the Noughties are officially retro. pic.twitter.com/5jN5DZTby6

— AAA Badboy (@KaptinisDead) January 22, 2022

Is the bad news that it’s really easy to make fake posters for great lineups?

Yeah on second glance it's fake as hell but still

I'd totally go to this

lol watch what happens when you type in the URL on the poster

never even heard of crookers or the bloody beetroots - would they really be so high on the bill?

I'll never not love this crookers remix

"If I only could, I'd make a deal with Zod, get him to swap our plaaaaaces!"
Climactic scene from SUPERMAN II: A Musical.

— Laird Barron (@LairdBarron) January 22, 2022

oops, this crookers remix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh4TtigBbOQ

crookers released an album with some insane guests on it, so that was a viable inclusion.
however bloody beetroots : who the f^ck !?
so many of the inclusions are no longer in action.
would be a bloody brilliant festival though.
though suspect a lot of tweeters would get blown.

Bloody Beetroots were bloody massive on the dance festival circuit at the time. iirc they sounded like a very shitty Justice, but had the dazzling USP of wearing Spawn masks while they did so.

fair enough.
time to go a digging and see what i missed out on.

Jeff Weiss's write-up of Once Upon A Time in L.A.-- where Drakeo the Ruler was attacked and murdered by a mob of over 100 people--makes it sound like a contender for worst music festival:

https://www.lamag.com/culturefiles/the-assassination-of-drakeo-the-ruler/

The fight appears to be over. Except for a couple of bruises, nobody seems to be badly hurt. That’s when the half dozen antagonists are replaced by what looks like an army of the dead. They appear as if out of nowhere, sprinting helter-skelter in battalions of 20, mostly in red, many ski-masked, letting loose shrieks of “Whoop” and “Suu Whoop.”

It seems clear that the initial confrontation had been a decoy to convince Drakeo and the Stinc Team that their rivals would be willing to catch a fair one. Instead, this mob of 100 swarms them, sprinting nearly to the spot where Snoop Dogg is about to take the stage. This is not merely an escalation or the chaos of a smaller fight gone out of hand. This is strategic, the obvious product of careful design.

By now, nearly seven or eight full minutes have passed since the first punch of the initial, decoy conflict. Maybe ten. Maybe more. Security and police are still entirely absent. Drakeo and the few friends with him drown in a sea of bodies, a red riptide. A video of the incident shows the Stinc Team attempting to retreat behind a fence the moment they realize the depravity of the ambush. In that video, the mob circles a blurred figure on the ground. Later, a private investigator who volunteers his services to Drakeo’s family tells them that after reviewing the footage, he counts 113 people taking on seven.

Directly in front of me, I watch one of the attackers leap up on a ledge, rip off his mask, beat his chest, and screech with apparent glee. As if on cue, the attackers all remove their red hoodies and scatter. Seconds later, security and the police finally arrive, much too late. So do a team of medics, who rush up to a prostrate body writhing on the asphalt. It is Drakeo: mask off, blood pouring all over his face and neck. It looks like his throat has been slit. In the distance, I hear the wail of sirens.

Cops form to separate the Stinc Team and me from the rest of the all-access area. From what I can see, there is no attempt to secure the backstage to prevent the assailants’ escape. No arrests are made. No one else has been stabbed, although one or two people are being treated in a medical tent for minor injuries. None of us is questioned about what we had witnessed.

Hi, we're having a metal night! Pay $9 to dance to the worst garbage the genre has to offer!

https://i.ibb.co/XCbv2k1/286600624-10159128601297981-3295590754539592564-n.jpg

this is like hosting a Reggae night and playing Magic! and Sublime all night

Guilfest is back after 8 years.

Nominated twice as best Medium-sized Festival in the UK

Woah!!! Steady on there!!!

Saturday 16th July: Sister Sledge, Bjorn Again, Baccara, The Jones Gang (featuring Kenney Jones & Friends), Space, The Rock Choir.
Sunday 17th July: Peter Hook & The Light, Dodgy, Counterfeit Stones, Bez, Republica, The Wurzels, Johnny Moped, Definitely Oasis, Old Time Sailors, The Rock Choir

Didn't one of the members of Baccara die? Oh, I see. They split up and became two different versions of Baccara. This is the less successful of the two Baccaras. I wonder if Bez will take the place of the other Baccara lady.

I hope that Peter Hook sits down and thinks long and hard about his life choices at some point. He's part of a festival that has one of two rival incarnations of Baccara, on the same bill as an Oasis tribute band and whatever remains of The Wurzels. I'm reminded that Get Ready is almost twenty years old, and because I lived through those years it feels longer, and shorter. It didn't have to be this way.

It's not just a bad line-up, it's a depressing line-up.

Not being funny but what the fuck does a Bez solo set entail?

he's learned Mongolian throat singing

Get Ready is just about 21 years old.

xpost - I love that I don't know if that is a joke or not

I still haven't come to grips with his stint on Dancing on Ice earlier this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0t2_IETI6A

https://cdn.vor.us/event/464118/og/762aa889cef34aeba0c32e562d62be72.image!jpeg.5194427.jpg.1x1.jpg

Dusty Bahls

Assuming that's not Pepper, the Sublime-influenced reggae rock band.

But what if it was?

Alfold Rock and Blues Festival

1 hour of Eddie & The Hot Rods (similarity to original lineup not known) unless you really like Curved Air or particularly want to see a ZZ Top tribute band.

https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/452949/c62129b312b4bd63103a4dd3de3159fab801a738/original/alfold-schedule-22-pic.png

Could be salvaged if Mantis dig out 'Captured City'.

Wondering if When Rivers Meet is a jam session between members of Big River and Green River Band

I'd imagine Nine Below Zero could be fun but no idea how authentic the lineup are.

I'd go and see Stray for sure, they've been playing on and off for what passes for the Groundhogs these days and I think are all veterans (although might not have all played together in the past).

I think Geordie are the whole band less Brian Johnson so again I'd probably go and see them.

I love how the line up from that website is just a wonky screenshot of an Excel spreadsheet.