Artist-specific music jokes

(I went through a period of a week or so where I thought jokes about the Doors not having a bassist were hilarious. Don't ask.)

A. They both come on small crackers.

Q: What do vegetarian worms eat?

A: Linda McCartney.

What major top selling pop group masturbates together just before going on stage, ejaculating at precisely the same moment on a towel supplied by their management?

'NSync

Why did the Red Hot Chilli Peppers cross the road?

They were running away from the rehab clinic.

Why do the Red Hot Chilli Peppers wear socks on their cocks?

Because they've lost all bladder control.

q. what's brown and rhymes with snoop?

a. dr. dre

lulz

Some 1978 zine said this joke was making the rounds in NYC punk dives:

What has ten legs and kills its girlfriend?
Squid Vicious.

more neil hamburger barbs:

what do you call a senior citizen who can't refrain from showing her genitalia in public?
madonna.

what's the difference between courtney love and the american flag?
it'd be wrong to urinate on the american flag.

more Hamburger

What's Elton John and a Sabre Toothed Tiger got in common

Hell Knows but I would'nt let either of them near my ass

I heard that Dr. Dre one recently.

F3rg's Sparks joke still wins thread as far as I'm concerned (followed closely by "Endless Love"). Got a big old guffaw outta me, that's for sure.

Your favourite jokes about David Guetta

Q: what did the deadheads say when they ran out of drugs?
A: god, this band sucks.

Q: What did the Star Wars droid change his name to when he joined the New York No Wave scene?

A: R2 Lindsay!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a rapper who's been ritually slaughtered and bled?

Halal Cool J!

Have you heard about that white rapper with the sinus infection?

His names Ebideb.

Q: What did the Star Wars droid change his name to when he joined the New York No Wave scene?

A: R2 Lindsay!!!!!!!!!!

Thankig u, I loled irl so hard.

Q. Who goes out with indie musicians, just to eat their clothes?
A. Kate Moth.

What has five legs, weighs 2000 lbs and sings?

The Diabeatles.

What do you get when you cross a pirate with a pedophile?

Arrrrrr! Kelly

here's one i made up in 5th grade:

who is the most famous mexican rapper?
julio (coolio, get it?)

why can't stevie wonder read?
because he's black.

^^^literally my favorite joke of all time

what has 7 arms and sucks?
def leppard

i never get to tell that one because i have never met anyone who gets it and explaining it takes the lols out of it

actually i think it's 9 arms...whatever

did you hear eminem didn't graduate from high school?
well, he's no smartie

JC Penney's is having a Michael Jackson sale ... little boys pants 1/2 off.

This one's great!

Kid (upset): Mom, at school they call me "The Backstreet Boy".

Mom: Who, dear? Who calls you "The Backstreet Boy"?

Kid (singing): EVERYBOOOODY, YEEAH...

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson

Q: What's black and walks into pianos?
A: Stevie Wonder

There are a lot of Stevie Wonder jokes!

My favorite, from the Truly Tasteless Jokes era...

Q: How is Yoko Ono like an Ethiopian?
A: They both live off dead Beetles

Q: Why did Kurt Cobain grope a fat man when he got sad?
A: Cos he was feeling a Tad depressed

George Galloway is visiting his pal Saddam Hussein in Iraq. It's been a while so they're catching up on what's been going on with each other. Saddam is kind of keen to know about public opinion of him in the UK right now. "Oh," says George, "it's... not bad. Actually, you have a pretty high profile celebrity fan, the singer out of the Kaiser Chiefs."

"No way!" Saddam says, "I love that band."... Read More

"Yeah, he thinks you're misunderstood and he wants the Kaiser Chiefs to come and play a concert at your palace."

"Seriously? That's awesome, I'm going to start clearing one of the bigger rooms now."

"Mate, I was only joking. I daresay he probably hates you," George says, laughing.

"Aw... you had me going there you bastard!"

"Sir," says George, rising to shake Saddam's hand, "I salute your indie fatty gullibility."

lol I c+p'd that off someone's Facebook page

It's my joke though.

That's a great one, but I will now never be able to pronounce 'indefatigability' properly again.

I don't get this one:

Q: What's Sid Vicious's real name?
A: John.

The joke is that his real name is John Vicious instead of Sid + a regular surname.

"Q: Why were the Byrds great?
A: They set Bob Dylan songs to music."

Crickets were chirping right out of the gate on this thread.

i love it when tuomas explains stuff.

But John was his real name

No, it was Simon.

Yes, he was christened Simon John Ritchie but he was occasionally known as John too, hence the Four Johns (along with Lydon, Gray, Wardle)

Either way, not funny, in fact, not even a joke!