Publicist red flags!

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Other big flags? "MySpace" and "ringtones"= "Maudlin emo" and "sounds better in midi."

― js (honestengine), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:36 (twenty years ago)

...renewed enthusiasm thanks to a new record company that understands them...

They got dropped.

An infusion of metal and hardcore...

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:36 (twenty years ago)

I honestly don't understand how any professional writer can use the "...on Acid" now without spontaneously combusting of shame.

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Liz Phwoar

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:38 (twenty years ago)

...supergroup...

you know this will suck

― Aaron A, Friday, 24 February 2006 21:40 (twenty years ago)

"sounds better in midi."

oh come on, everything sounds better in midi

― the bitchy guy in the pince-nez from the old films (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:42 (twenty years ago)

how about, "sounds like crap in everything but midi"?

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:43 (twenty years ago)

"mixed in Dobly"

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

man, this thread is funny, but when you dudes do threads like this it gives me such a fucking horrible pit in my stomach at the thought of ever actually releasing a CD.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

"first release by original line-up in X years"

solo albums didn't pan out, mortgages don't pay themselves.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Hey, try writing a bio for your own band with all this in the back of your mind. I think I closed our last one with a dick joke, just cause.

― Eppy (Eppy), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

...hook-filled songwriting...

There is now a 75% chance this album will neither have hooks or be good.

― Sean Braudis (Sean Braudis), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:48 (twenty years ago)

"mystic"/"spiritual"= "hippie wank."

― js (honestengine), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Their first album on Sanctuary

"Jumped the shark"

― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:51 (twenty years ago)

not a translation of a phrase, just one of the most overused/sickening strings of words:

has played/shared the stage with/given away blow to/stolen equipment from/

THE LIKES OF

...zzzzz Doesn't everybody stop reading right here?

― c@md3n (c@md3n), Friday, 24 February 2006 22:12 (twenty years ago)

haha! i just turned in a story that included a use of "the likes of". now i'm ashamed.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 24 February 2006 22:21 (twenty years ago)

"misunderstood" = perfectly well-understood as the shit it is
"raging" = obnoxious
"whimsical" = supposed to be funny but isn't
"delicate" = quiet and dull
"dense" = loud and dull

― Jason Toon (Jason Toon), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:10 (twenty years ago)

If any press release writers read this - this is what I want to know:

* who are in the band and who plays what
* where are they from
* when are they playing round here
* when is the album actually coming out
* how manyeth album of theirs is it
* what is the single/video

Thank you, that'll be all.

― JoB (JoB), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:18 (twenty years ago)

"rearranges old elements in fresh ways" = garden variety indie ... in 2006!

― nbj,, Friday, 24 February 2006 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Meet James Blunt...

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:27 (twenty years ago)

I wish all press releases were in bullet point format.

― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:33 (twenty years ago)

and if you include a photo, identify everyone, from left to right. an amazing number of press photos don't bother to tell you who's who.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:51 (twenty years ago)

"trend-setting

Trend-following.

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:53 (twenty years ago)

"A diverse range of influences from The Smiths and The Jam through to Run DMC, James Brown, and Funkadelic"

Indie band with black vocallist.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:55 (twenty years ago)

To those who are intimidated by the snark on display here -- fear not.

As someone who used to make his living as a critic and now makes records - most music writers actually like music. They just hate reading stupid press releases and horrible bios.

― Uncle Tom (Uncle Tom), Saturday, 25 February 2006 07:59 (twenty years ago)

"influenced by Talking Heads"

Anxious-sounding singer and boring beats.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 25 February 2006 08:45 (twenty years ago)

"blah blah blah"

This is going to be shitty just like everything else.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 25 February 2006 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Any writer who dares describe a beat as 'fractured' or 'bruised' ever again will be hunted down and shot like a dog. This is my promise.

― stu (stu), Saturday, 25 February 2006 08:54 (twenty years ago)

I agree with the hunting and killing, but I say we use the dog to track them down and shoot them like a rat or a snake. I just don't cotton to dog-shootin'.

― Okeigh, Saturday, 25 February 2006 13:11 (twenty years ago)

Oh, alright then.

― stu (stu), Saturday, 25 February 2006 13:43 (twenty years ago)

I swear that this just got emailed to me in a press release:

"They play rock-style music mixed with alternative-style."

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Saturday, 25 February 2006 14:52 (twenty years ago)

If the artist is from Louisiana, unlesss it's Britney Spears, dollars to donuts their music will be referred to as a "gumbo."

Once, some copy editor inserted that word in one of my articles and I freaked - the only time the Rev. Hoodoo will consciously use the word "gumbo" is when he's writing about food!

― Rev. Hoodoo (Rev. Hoodoo), Saturday, 25 February 2006 15:02 (twenty years ago)

"classically-trained" or "thrown out of the elite [name] conservatory"

Wasn't good enough to make it in the classical world, lacks the imagination needed to go 'avant-garde', so they made a sub-Coldplay album with one operatic-style song that shows why they weren't good enough to make it in the classical world.

― joylyn, Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

OTM

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 25 February 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

joylyn: YES!

"dark" and or "gloomy" = minor key snooze.

"darkwave" = dorkwave.

― js (honestengine), Saturday, 25 February 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

sensational success = we still can't understand why people bought that crap, but the fact alone that item x sold n units should be enough to convince you that item y is a hit
seemingly effortless = tried hard, might even have exercised / communicated a strong will to... (but failed)
national treasure = music scene in land x sucks (variation of the country/state theme)
colorful = lyrics don't mean anything but doobeedooh (not necessarily a bad thing)

― b0ring, Sunday, 26 February 2006 06:13 (twenty years ago)

in fact i came to appreciate publicist notes, if you read them right you have the release's most weak points at hand and can concentrate on it's upsides (if any).

― b0ring, Sunday, 26 February 2006 06:23 (twenty years ago)

Best thread ever. This is why i've been writing my own for years. Even MINE still read like dogshit but these fucking things are almost impossible to write unless you're a total douchebag

― Dog Ear, Sunday, 26 February 2006 07:35 (twenty years ago)

Angular guitar lines

Sounds like every Dischord band.

― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Sunday, 26 February 2006 16:17 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

Would you say "poignant" is out of bounds? (what if the shit really is kinda poignant?!)

― Saxby D. Elder, Friday, 18 May 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

ah, well you got to say something about the artist...

― whisperineddhurt, Friday, 18 May 2007 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

that's taking the world by storm

that has a massive promotional budget for this album, and damn they'd better recoup fast or they will be dropped like a hot potato.

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

Myspace sensations

Invested in a copy of FriendFlood, now annoying people in their thousands daily

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:26 (nineteen years ago)

have put metal firmly back on the map

Used to be a power pop band named Widget

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:33 (nineteen years ago)

heralded in some UK circles as ï¿½the new Nirvana.ï¿½

This band will never equal the quality or cultural importance of Nirvana. Also, they suck.

― Jeff Treppel, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:34 (nineteen years ago)

the Australian rockers are back with their second album

Young Einstein II

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:35 (nineteen years ago)

Caused a sensation at SxSW this year

Sustainable 3-5 year indie career if we can find another $60,000 for their next trip.

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 00:37 (nineteen years ago)

built up a massive following through constant touring over three years

to obtain arsehole quotient, multiply number of tattoos by number of self inflicted wounds

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

took control of her career

manager quit

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 01:12 (nineteen years ago)

collaborated with Bjork

will never collaborate with Bjork again

― moley, Saturday, 19 May 2007 01:15 (nineteen years ago)

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