THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

(I knew far left's sister. Don't think I ever met him tho. She asked me if I thought they'd win the Mercury that year and I made some polite noises and said "well it is a pretty open year".)

looooool

xpost

i was behind the counter as it goes.

Far left looks like every guy who is ever in Waterstones, is the thing - including me, a bit.

Fucking hell, I remember posting to this thread back in my early twenties.

The truth is that I don't like or recognise the person who posted here all that time ago. I'm not sure whether I like myself much, if at all, now, but I'm astonished at how low my regard is for my old self, how little connection I have with him. Much, if not most, of what I posted was pretty much worthless shit (plus ca change, possibly), and I don't think I ever represented myself well, or reflected (with a few exceptions) what I'm actually capable of. I came back on a whim, really (and because I'd fantasised about the 'words in only one hit song' thread in my head years ago, easily-amused as I may be), wondering how long it would take before anyone saw through me. When Marcello did, I thought it was better to admit it immediately rather than play any more games.

Many of the statements I made in the great war with Dom and Nick (which was the moment the bridges burnt) were misjudged, to say the least, and within a few months I had distanced myself from quite a few of them. I am as full of anger at the self-perpetuating nature of the new elite - or as it should be called the New Boy Network - and the way it holds back genuine talent in all fields as anyone else on here, and (I would suspect) more so than many. The difference is that I don't dismiss individuals simply because of their background, as Dom did when he made his grotesquely bigoted remarks about Stephen Fry. I hate the system, but I don't hate people simply because they were born into it (which was not after all their choice). I only hate them when they are artistically worthless, pernicious in their influence and keep out of the mass consciousness those who deserve it far more, c.f. Lily Allen and her hellspawn. None of those descriptions apply to Stephen Fry. Of course there is a residual Old Toryism in the It's a Soaraway Life sketch (which, along with all the other strongly anti-Murdoch / anti-US-influence ones, I suspect was much more Fry than Laurie). But there are also principles that are bigger and stronger than any forum factions, and we are risking all our futures if we cannot see them through our own petty agendas.

I may well be more conservative than I want to be. But there is a fervent radical's heart beating here as well. In the age of Sarkozy and the horrendous Milliband, I feel I am needed more than ever. It would be betrayal for me to be anything else.

I think I'll keep this name from now on. I prefer it.

For what it matters (very little), the Brel article in the 1986 NME whose cover appears upthread - and that is probably their last great cover (though I agree with Mark about the font at the bottom) - was by Momus. As for continuing to add new covers to this thread, for me it's like worrying about people who still wear bowler hats. The NME is the rock'n'roll (kill the Krauts, kill the Arabs) old-guard hangover. But the system in which it's a miniscule pawn deserves all the abuse we can throw at it, and more.

Lily Allen has never praised the comedy stylings of Bernard Manning, though?

I sigh, and then I cry, and I wonder why...

Bernard Manning to Peter Cook on the Joan Rivers show: "You used to be very funny Peter." Then to camera: "He can't remember his lines you see. I work every night."

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/202/522514950_bfb448770a.jpg

nothing can beat this for sheer disgustingness

http://kscakes.com.nyud.net:8080/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/in-ur-cricket-team-hatin-ur-jewz.jpg

hating your fatty jowls morelike

This week's NME issue features The Wombats they deserve a critical beating.

You sure you're not mixing up the Wombats with Keegan's Newcastle?

what about a caged fight between Joey Barton and The Wombats?

Music weekly NME has been overtaken by Classic Rock for the first time after the IPC title lost 12% of its circulation in a year.

Empire and Uncut were among the titles to put on sales among the leading music, film and entertainment magazines, but there were losses elsewhere for Mojo and Kerrang!.

NME had an average weekly sale of 64,033 in the second half of last year, down 6% on the previous six months, according to Audit Bureau of Circulations figures published today.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/feb/14/abcs.pressandpublishing7

time for another new rock revolution.

Music weekly NME has been overtaken by Classic Rock for the first time after the IPC title lost 12% of its circulation in a year.

I shouldn't laugh really, but LOL, awesome.

IPC Ignite publishing director Paul Cheal said NME would be revamped later this year.

"NME magazine sits at the heart of the brand and we are constantly sense checking what readers want and looking to evolve the magazine's content and design," Cheal added.

"With this in mind our editorial team are currently engaged in exciting development work which will come to market later this year."

What are the on, these corporate planks at IPC Ignite?

"exciting development work"

with McNicholas and Krissi Murison in charge ! ha ! a bigger joke than The Wombats and The View

DJ Martian - what would you do to revamp the NME in 2008 to boost sales?

Close it down ! and relaunch Melody Maker ! with a complete new agenda

You position exclamation points in an hypnotic way, djmartian

The spirit of Wyndham Lewis lives.

Melody Maker relaunched with me as editor is an excellent idea, I think.

I thought ILX decided ages ago no one over 30 should be allowed to write for the weeklies?
;)

Um, I think you might be mixing up "ILX" with "The Lex" there Herman...

He will be 30 one day too

"That's what I love about these kids on the bus, man. I get older, they stay the same age." - The Lex

oh snap

I picked up "Classic Rock" for the first time ever today.

Interesting bit of writing on Moby Grape, I have to say.

I can't think of a title like Classic Rock without imagining it being spoken in a Late Great Tommy Vance voice.

The magazine is actually very Tommy Vance. The plus side of it is that the writers seem to be genuinely into what they're writing about, it's not cynical at all, the minus is that some of it is pretty terribly written, though every issue I've ever bought has had one really good piece about some band who never get any props anywhere else - Budgie, or Kansas, people like that. It's one of the very, very few magazines I still pick up and buy, but only twice or three times a year, which is enough.

Conor Mack's current Facebook display photo is of him tied to a chair hanging out with the Mighty Boosh, at least one of whom is wearing "ironic" "pirate" "gear"

It has been since the week before "the Boosh" got their first cover the week beofre series three. Can't remember why I was snooping around his page. He should have it set to private.

http://www.mercuryloungenyc.com/u/i/4/2110bfc5.jpg

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/in-the-mix-the-rebirth-of-the-mixtape-866759.html

I owe my life to a mix tape. I was in sixth form in Bradford, and I was aware that there was a world of music beyond Prince and Sting, but I didn't know where to start. I did, however, have one friend called John Shanks who listened to John Peel a lot, and he offered to make me a tape.

It was indie – The Stone Roses, a bit of Primal Scream I'm sure – and one track set my synapses firing – The Charlatans' "The Only One I Know". This was what I'd been hearing on the radio, this was the music I was looking for, and now here it was for me to play again and again.

When I screwed up my A-levels and entry into Cambridge, I was secretly delighted. I applied to Manchester University – I wanted to be in the same city as the Smiths and the Mondays and to go to the Hacienda. While I was screwing up my degree, I DJed, played in bands, ran a small magazine and met my wife. That tape reset my brain. I lost it while I was at university, which is a pity because I'd treasure it now.

Conor McNicholas is the editor of 'NME'

a new generation of music lovers is falling for the romance of the C90

So not an old generation of music lovers whose teenage kids have taught them how to work computers, then

so the secret of Conor Mc's success is to not have a brain? right

He'd been hearing it on the radio but was unaware of what it was/how to get it?

It's important to the publishers that the editor of the NME is someone that is in love with alternative but mainstream music. Stuff that is difficult to find or listen to or understand if all you have is a tape recorder and an old C90.

Don't IPC pay him enough that he has to go prostituting himself in broadsheets all across the land?

MEMO TO ALL MUSIC WRITERS*: NO MORE MEMOIRS OF MIXTAPES OR ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR FUCKING MEDIOCRE PAST

*exceptions subject to my discretion

I mean you didn't have Percy Dickins going on about his mixtapes back in the day when the NME was a world renowned etc. did you?

As I mentioned on my blog, there's 158 songs in this article, and none of them are rap music. This is just two weeks after the Indie was full of "People who don't like rap music - GET WITH THE PROGRAM GRANDAD" articles in celebration of Jaz-O's weed carrier headling some music festival or other.

Broadsheets don't like blogs, you know that. Why, there was a four-page lead piece about it in the Observer Review yesterday.

Also, they only pretend to like hip hop for a week at a time. Knife crime shock horror youth cult probe innit.

http://www.nme.com/images/218_magbooshcover.jpghttp://www.nme.com/images/218_magkolcover1L151208.jpg

yeah, they really needed to do two of those

probably couldn't guarantee KOL availability so had to have back-up

Mighty Boosh can always be relied upon to be unfunny in whichever publication comes calling.

which one did grout get?!?!

Obviously there is no crossover between Mighty Boosh fans and Kings of Leon fans in the NME's readership.

"It's weird when everybody loves you ..."

How would they know?

"Heather Mills reviews the singles of the year" if I read that right. OMG, rushing out to buy my copy now!