pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

i hate takedowns but i have a personal stake in this

i once had a review killed bc it wasn’t takedown-y enough, for instance

i had to ask myself “what’s the last record i would’ve written a scathing takedown about” and i would’ve absolutely ripped to shreds that last arcade fire record they gave a 7

Maneskin won Eurovision in 2021, and are a pretty big deal in Europe, but they even crossed over to the U.S. with their cover of the Four Seasons' "Beggin'."

the last genuinely negative p4k review I remember was the not dissimilar Greta van Fleet, who I've still never heard a note by.

That was an xp to NA. All of that is the review, I guess I'm just saying I think they are culturally relevant. Biggest Italian act on the US pop charts since Eiffel 65, at least (who are also coincidentally back on the US pop charts courtesy David Guetta).

Larson wrote the GVF one too iirc. I wouldn't mind reading a vicious takedown every now and again, but I didn't think this was that funny

tl;dr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvZmRv6U_s0

Still think the first Jet review is funnier (and probably the best takedown of This Kind of Thing still on the site)

Huh, that may be the first Måneskin review I've ever seen. I just assumed the band manifested out of the ether or whatever, fully formed and (seemingly?) successful, like Greta Van Fleet. But I hate what I've heard on the radio, so appreciate the takedown concept of Wolfmother produced by Max Martin.

I confess that I’d never heard of Maneskin until … today.

Too much music!!!!

Unlike Greta Van Fleet, I've actually heard Maneskin multiple times on pop radio.

I don't think I've ever heard them, but they're definitely one of those names that has been bubbling around for the last year or two.

i'd advise not checking them out

They did SNL last year, too.

listening now, pretty bad stuff

I often find his writing glib and dickish, but that piece is very good and exactly what that band deserves. It’s not just a takedown, it’s a well-reasoned and accurate description of their many flaws.

ILX is like “I’ve never even heard of Maneskin” and also “I can’t stop hearing about Wet Leg”

Any ilxor born before 1993 can’t have heard of Måneskin. All they know is Wet Leg, charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip & lie.

was tempted to watch the eurovision performances but the awfulness of that "beggin" cover sticks in my craw

I'm forever unsettled by the whole deathless 'sounds like an ad' punch down

i had never heard of Måneskin til this thread, but, after reading the first bit of the review, aren't they a huge band now? the 0.0's of liz phair and travis morrison were gross for a few different reasons, but one of them was that they were not that "big". Måneskin has 6.5 billion streams, which makes them one of handful of artists who can actually make money off of streaming. max martin is producing. plus, yikes they reaaaaaally suck

As someone who was known in his publication office (circa 2009-2011) for writing takedowns, I have to say I approve of this takedown. “Cirque du Soleil: Buckcherry” made me lol.

Rock music is in such dire shape right now

needs to get back to basics

Some great lines in this review! This made me laugh in appreciation:

“Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop,” he continues, hoping for more upvotes on his comment.

i have no idea how anyone could've avoided "Beggin'" over the past year or two

It sounds absolutely awful but is actually getting some decent reviews elsewhere. (Kerrang gave it 4 stars for instance but I've no idea what the quality of Kerrang is like these days).

anyway, this band stinks, and they *are* a very easy target (for P4k, at least / has RS reviewed?), and also we need more negative reviews. all these things are true.

In theory, Måneskin—in their politely iconoclastic, youthful, inscrutably European, anti-mainstream guise—might fit under that rubric Americans once knew as “alternative rock.” It was a genre that conferred—in accordance with the social bylaws of the ’80s and ’90s—that what you liked signaled what you did not like: By owning a Sonic Youth album, you displaced the energy that otherwise would have been consumed by a Spin Doctors album.

By owning one alternative rock album you displace the energy of a different alternative rock album.

"Don’t you wish Guitar Center could win a Grammy?" made me chuckle

only issue i have is there are so many bands which are too big, too plugged into the alt/indie industrial complex for pitchfork to dare slam them as hard as they deserve. anyway this band does deserve it obv.

Yeah, punching up. Måneskin laughing all the way to the bank, a la Bon Jovi happily getting roasted by Triumph the Insult Dog. "Sick burns, Pitchfork." (throws leftover $200 burger topped with gold leaf in the trash)

At least THEY have the guts to make a statement song like Gasoline, not giving a sh*t about pleasing everyone.https://t.co/KF6w2sqZuo

— KosiKosa (@KosiCosa) February 7, 2023

[Verse 1]
You're nothing but gasoline
Starting fires since seventeen
Silver spoon in daddy's jeans
You go, "Four, three, two, one"
Count it, count it down
Mister in a stolen dress
You're so dark, but you paint it red
Soaking wet in your golden bed
You go, "Four, three, two, one"
Count it, count it down

[Pre-Chorus]
How are you sleeping at night?
How do you close both your eyes?
Living with all of those lives
On your hands?
Standing alone on that hill
Using your fuel to kill
We won't take it standing still
Watch us dance
How are you sleeping at night?
How do you close both your eyes?
Living with all of those lives
On your hands?
Standing alone on that hill
Using your fuel to kill
We won't take it standing still
Watch us dance

[Chorus]
We're gonna dancе on gasoline
We're gonna dancе on gasoline
We're gonna dance on gasoline

has RS reviewed?

They pulled their punches a bit: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/review-maneskin-rush-1234661170/

xpost Maybe better in Italian?

Non sei altro che benzina
Accendere incendi da diciassette anni
Cucchiaio d'argento nei jeans di papà
Dici "Quattro, tre, due, uno"
Contalo, contalo alla rovescia
Il signore con un vestito rubato
Sei così scuro, ma lo dipingi di rosso
Bagnato fradicio nel tuo letto d'oro
Dici "Quattro, tre, due, uno"
Contalo, contalo alla rovescia

(Pre-ritornello)
Come dormi la notte?
Come si chiudono entrambi gli occhi?
Vivere con tutte quelle vite
Sulle tue mani?
In piedi da solo su quella collina
Usando il tuo carburante per uccidere
Non ce la faremo a stare fermi
Guardaci ballare
Come dormi la notte?
Come si chiudono entrambi gli occhi?
Vivere con tutte quelle vite
Sulle tue mani?
In piedi da solo su quella collina
Usando il tuo carburante per uccidere
Non ce la faremo a stare fermi
Guardaci ballare

(Coro)
Balleremo a benzina
Balleremo a benzina
Balleremo a benzina

Balleremo a benzina >>>> We're gonna dance on gasoline

It's a metaphor.

those lyrics look like they're written by someone who was exposed to leaded gasoline in their youth

xps not punching down at the band, punching down on the idea of music that sounds like it could be in an advert. which is probably most music.

idk, imo, there's a specificity to "music made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150" that's not equivalent to "music in any ad." The cologne commercial line is broader, and I don't personally have that stereotype in my head so it doesn't land, but even that is narrower

Yeah - obv plenty of ads use good music (that wasn't written specifically for ads), but the review is saying something different.

"music made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyVWQH7jIg8

xp But I don't really get where along the way this stuff has got so synonymous with adverts for, well, cars and cologne. The reality seems a bit different imo. I guess if it was me I'd just find another way to say 'sounds like polite focus grouped music'.

if anyone is making a commercial for gasoline, i know just the song...

One of my favorite jams (I think it did end up being licensed for a car commercial!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcNcuGkhASw

I know a pretty aggro song that would work well in a "Kerosene" commercial (#onethread)

Is there gas in the car?

lol

I dare you guys to reply to that tweet jaymc posted to ask what the statement being made is. I did that the last time someone was saying silly things about music on twitter and it was a lot of fun

Silver spoon in daddy's jeans

did they mean genes or