Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was murdered

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UNCUT: Shall we go, then?

GORDON: Yes, let's go.

They do not move.

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: You're forgetting one thing

GORDON: What's that?

UNCUT: Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: I am uncut.

GORDON: Me too.

UNCUT: Do you believe a theory?

GORDON: I have evidence.

BEAN COBIAN: I am jojo.

GORDON: Your dad was murdered.

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

YAKOV: IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MURDER DADS YOU!

UNCUT: That is very fascinating

JOJO BEAN: I AM DOGFACE BOY

JOE PISCOPO: smell my panties

GORDON: FUCK OFF

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

GORDON: I WAS THE ONE WHO MURDERED.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:59 (twenty years ago)

GORDON HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:01 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: So, after all that has happened, who do you think murdered jojo's father?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

dying here

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

JOJO Gordon-Bean: YOU ARE UNCUT.

UNCUT: I am, yes.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: But setting that aside, what do you think really happened?

JJG-B: YOU ARE UNCUT

UNCUT: ok you got me

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

Kim Mathers and actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("Third Rock from the Sun") have apparently united in an effort to educate the public about the fact that beans can lead to suicide-by-AIDS.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

In a story that may or may not be related, Gordons Gano and Shumway have given an exclusive interview to Bikini that reveals their shared belief that Lil' Kim sent a harmless AIDS-o-Gram to Kurt Schilling (sic).

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:13 (twenty years ago)

GORDON: Eww, it looks like a pig in a blanket.

UNCUT: ;o(

― amon (eman), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: S

>GORDON goes south.

>You are in a stately mansion. Exits are N and W. You see: COBAIN, a SHOTGUN.

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN

>What do you want to kill COBAIN with?

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN with shotgun

>GORDON shoots COBAIN

― zebedee (zebedee), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

This thread is murder. Launch a criminal investigation already.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

xpost, ha ha Infocom.

UNCUT: LAUNCH criminal investigation

> I'm sorry, I can't do that right now.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you want to come back to my place?

GORDON: I thought you'd never ask.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

This is an ex-thread.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jerzbear.com/media/music/images/17648f.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Kurt was killed by someone else?

GORDON: It was Il Duce in the loft with the shotgun!

UNCUT: By deuce you've done it again, Holmes.

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

hey, this thread got way better.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

jesus i'm crying

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

"I didn't do it!"

http://www.nrk.no/img/376318.gif

(#1 google image search result for "courtney love", btw)

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

she needs an adams apple

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

lolz

― rentboy (rentboy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

yeah he definitely killed himself

― gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

*collapsing in tears of laughter*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: 'twas beauty who killed the beast.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

KIM GO-GO Jordan: or...er, perhaps not.

UNCUTE: yeah.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you believe Mojo Jojo killed Mojo Nixon?

GORDON: I do, yes.

UNCUT: WATERGATE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

"Didn't do it! Nope!'

http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/courtney_love/kurts_mistake/scary_courtney_07.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

"Tell me, was it Courtney?"

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

it's really too much, I shouldn't read this in public!

― Jacobs (LolVStein), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

Kurt Cobain's childhood dream that Kim Gordon is his mother comes true in Heaven.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

"Mommy you won't let them kill me, will you?"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:21 (twenty years ago)

"Darling, they already have..."

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

(cue eerie music)

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

"So my daughter CocoBean has been taking to a...g-g-GHOST!?!"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

Buzz around the magazine industry is that the upcoming issue of Sam Goody's in-house magazine Request will contain a controversial interview where Courtney Cox reveals that she believes that NASCAR legend Jeff Gordon kidnapped her daughter, Coco Cox-Arquette, and filmed a D.I.Y. "AIDS is good for you" PSA with rock spawn Kim Stewart.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

"Of corz I dinnint do dat, no?!"

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/images/content/101530.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Friday, 11 November 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

ten years pass...

I've settled into being agnostic when it comes to whether or not Kurt was murdered, thinking about it just puts me in a bad mood... I think there are equally compelling arguments on both sides. But these new pictures of the gun he used are really fucking me up... Look at how long that thing is. How the fuck do you shoot yourself in the head with that thing without using your toe? (he had his shoes on...)

http://nypost.com/2016/03/18/kurt-cobains-suicide-gun-revealed-for-the-first-time/

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 16:40 (ten years ago)

otm. that's insane. you would have to be stretch armstrong.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 18 March 2016 16:56 (ten years ago)

they should have had Sarah Palin pose with it

― There was a hole bunch of problems whit his campaigns (crüt), Friday, 18 March 2016 17:12 (ten years ago)

did they ever explain how they thought he used that gun? there is one way I can think of to pull the trigger, but it's sort of difficult and there would be evidence that this was the method.

― Poliopolice, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:18 (ten years ago)

the explanation was he lied on his back and shot himself in the mouth using his thumb to pull the trigger... fucking impossible with that thing! the SOAKED IN BLEACH documentary debunks the physics of the official explanation...that doc has some problems (mostly the cheesy, unnecessary dramatic re-enactments), but it's arguments are pretty compelling.

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:36 (ten years ago)

i could totes shoot myself with that gun but I have long arms. cobain was kind of short.

still don't think he was murdered.

― uncle tenderlegdrop (jim in glasgow), Friday, 18 March 2016 17:37 (ten years ago)

xp its*

and yeah, another thing they talk about is how the shell casing was on the wrong side of his body, and how the lack of splatter/mess with his head suggests that he was already dead when the shot was fired (no blood pressure)...

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:38 (ten years ago)

Kurt was short but he actually had pretty long arms. Kennedy wrote a book a couple years ago and she spent like three pages talking about his "gibbon-like arms"

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:39 (ten years ago)

with satellite technology i'm certain we could find the secret pacific island on which he, Diana and Bob Marley are living.

― Van Horn Street, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:39 (ten years ago)

if this was cobain's only gun and he really, really wanted to kill himself with that method, he'd have found a way.

― nomar, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:41 (ten years ago)

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