who is Bob Lefsetz?

does any of that make any sense to ya'll?

because what in the fuck is he on about? have mercy.

Capitalism

The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is take a pee. And this makes no sense to me. I mean I’ve already gotten up to take a leak multiple times during the night, it’s the scourge of the enlarged prostate, you’ll be familiar with it if you live long enough. And the funny thing is sometimes I’ve only peed forty five minutes before. You know, when you wake up but it’s still too early to get up and you ultimately lie in bed until the appointed time? How can I still have pee less than an hour later? I never wake up dry, I’m flummoxed.

After that I find some clothes. Although I’m cool with walking around the house naked, but that’s not Felice’s style. And I always debate what I’m going to wear, is it going to last the whole day long? I mean we had a cold streak here in L.A. last week, I broke out the heavy sweatpants and the long-sleeve t-shirts, but if it warms up during the day I might change to a short-sleeve t, and am I going to wear the same clothes later? And then I remember there’s a washer and dryer in the house, that I can wear as many clothes as I want and never freak out that the closet is bare, I can just fire up the machines. Yes, that’s my idea of living, of making it, when you have your own washer and dryer.

And then I get my phone. I do not keep it by my bed. Then I’d never get to sleep, I get e-mail all through the night. And you know you can’t resist that chime. And then there are the people who complain if you e-mail or text them after eleven, sometimes nine or ten, it’s a rule, you get old and you must go to bed earlier. Why would you want to wake up when it’s dark? Don’t these people know you can silence the ringer/chime? But oldsters are not tech-savvy. Now I’ll get e-mail from those who are. So this rule doesn’t apply to you, nothing is completely black and white, get over it.

And the first thing I do when I pick up my phone is look at the messages on the lock screen. I scroll through them, see if anything’s mega-important. And if there is, I open that message immediately, although for some reason I understand messages better on my computer than my phone, maybe because it’s all on one screen, I don’t have to scroll, end result being I sometimes get all heated up when the truth is I shouldn’t be, but I don’t know this until I fire up my computer and then…if there are no important messages, I start going to my sites.

There are too many of them. But usually I start with the “New York Times,” to see if the world blew up. And then it’s the “Washington Post.” And then I go to the “Los Angeles Times” and the “Wall Street Journal” and then I start scrolling my Twitter feed, which is in order of posting, I don’t believe in the algorithm, there’s no algorithm that replicates the needs and wants of a person.

Did I tell you I do all this on the pot?

Yes, that’s my secret space. And sometimes I don’t even have to go number two but I sit down anyway.

The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is take a pee.

see this is exactly what i mean: i refuse to read past even the first sentence.

Woke up
Got out of bed
Dragged myself off to the head
Found my way inside and had pee
And thinking that I knew I had to blog

In Conversation: Bob Lefsetz & Adrian Chiles - get your tickets now...

lmao i was going to posit the exact same pairing when i read that

Did I tell you I do all this on the pot?

https://i.ibb.co/ZcnWKJ9/D9-E27-BB6-47-FA-4-CA9-9884-9-EA6073-A0878.gif

Do you know any genius musicians? Well, I do.

Lefsetz from his piece on the Brian Wilson doc that's on PBS now in the US

I know quite a few and unlike whoever Lefsetz claims to know, I actually think of them as friends.

Do you know any genius newsletter writers?

Well modesty forbids.

Pretty funny sometimes-trolling interview with Lef on How Long Gone.

Rather than becoming a musician, you're better off becoming a comedian. You can buy your beats, create a hit and be back in your bedroom within a year. It's a lot harder to make it in comedy, you have to pay your dues, hone your craft, but once you break through you can tell jokes FOREVER!

"Miami 2017" EXPLODES out of the speakers. It's almost like a rocket liftoff at Cape Canaveral. And when Billy starts to tickle the ivories you're ALL IN!

his blog became second person billy joel erotica so gradually i never noticed

in that case, i want to contact him about advertising on his blog.

Well, you can't spell Billy Joel without BJ.

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hey, I didn't realize "Billy Joel Bowl" was a thing.

Unless Urban Dictionary is lying to me.

urban dictionary has never lied.

to anyone.

ever.

why is there not a band called Jilly Bowl?

checks Spotify.

oh, never mind.

We ARE Woodstock '99.

disappointingly otm

When Don Henley sang we hadn’t had that spirit since 1969 he was right. He knew, BUT YOU IGNORED HIM!

Yes, our rock stars were seers, laying down truth.

Everybody else sold out to the man.

last week he was trying to say that nobody knows who beyoncé is

ok, not quite, but he did ignore the critical hosannas in order to highlight an opinion from a venture capitalist who "listened to house music since the beginning"

well, i mean ... if you call that music.

Everybody Else Sold Out To The Man: The Don Henley Story: He Knew: BUT YOU IGNORED HIM! by big bobby lef

This is like a monstrous parody of what happens to men of a certain age who can't admit they've lost touch with current music.

(I meant the actual blog, not cat's post)

Next week - Bob Lefsetz comes clean:

Beyoncé’s Renaissance: We Haven’t Had That Spirit Here Since Destiny’s Child

Although it's equally irritating when he takes the opposite stance, when he goes to a rave or electronic music show: "this is what the kids of today love, all you people talking about sitting quietly listening to some singer-songwriter need to live in the present!"

he doesn't have...how you say...object permanence

but that’s what’s so great about him! it’s like peering directly into the cavernous echoing emptiness of an old timey record exec’s mind heart soul newsletter

without the "having actual success in the music business" part

he just hasn’t sold out to the man, man. bob has studied at the feet of don henley, whose wisdom we have ignored, ignored!!!!!! through these many long decades and now look at us. nary a newsletter to our names, for shame.

Could be Lef’s tombstone:

Something is happening here. I just wanted to hip you to it.

loved his column yesterday when he explained that most people don’t realize that atlanta has a big rap scene

well he does seem stuck in 1984, so sure why not.

idk who he's even talking to when he says things like that cause any industry exec has been making most their money from rap music for over a decade

“Sir, this is a Subaru dealership.”

I've been waiting for the blues to come back. Isn't it about time? Aren't the blues forever? One thing's for sure, we've got 'em, you and me, it's tough times, despite all the hedonistic music on the hit parade.

Which most people don't know.

Happens to me all the time. Yesterday at the Subaru dealer. Service writer had no idea who Morgan Wallen was. I felt like I was speaking a foreign language, all I got was a blank face talking about the acts I was going to see.

Hahaha

i didn't know it could get better

I’ve been getting endless texts asking me to weigh in with my political opinions. What do I do with them? I BLOCK THE NUMBERS!

I went down in my Crosstrek, to get the oil changed
I went down in my Crosstrek, to get the oil changed
Start talkin’ ‘bout Morgan Wallen
Service writer stared like I was strange

I would have thought that Bob was ideologically opposed to lightweights such as former contestants on The Voice, but what do I know

Morgan Wallen has probably been responsible for 30% of music industry profits for the past two years

If you haven't made love to "Avalon"...

Who cared how many tickets the band sold, who cared if everybody knew the material or not, I certainly did, and how many times have I had sex to this?