Eurovision Song Contest 2022

“He is also Iceland’s answer to Jim Corr”

My mind went to conspiracy theorist before it went to brother, sorry to say.

This was my second favourite!

That could have been from any Eurovision in the last 30 years.

Now I've heard these turgid ballads I can see why people are enthusiastic about the UK entry.

Going to vote for this Moldovan one about a billion times sorry now, FROM BUCHAREST TO CHISINĂU

Moldova is really good.

Moldova is exactly what I come here for. Finally.

Glad to have a song that doesn't start out all whispery and almost inaudible before bursting into a bombastic chorus and then back to simpering and so on.

They had an incredible entry maybe ten years ago with So Lucky but this one is even better and it wakes you up after all those dirges

That's the stuff. It'll do well in the voting.

Bonnie Tyler should've sung this in 2013

Some vague Andreas Jonsson vibes off that one

Destroy Australia

Unintentionally funny.

I liked it! I didn’t in the semi!

Viera

This is like another country’s entry, which is a compliment. I could see this doing well

He looks like one of the Allman Brothers. But, yes, this is much better than the UK have managed for a while.

Yeah, I was a bit lukewarm on it before but it sounds good compared to the patchy offerings we've had so far.

Well the last time the UK won it was a song sung by an American. So maybe that's the key to winning.

(xps)

Iiiiii don't wanna fall in love/I would wait a million years

I love going from that banger straight into LET ME TAKE MY BODY DOWN TO THE RIIIIIIVER

Leave him in the river

So many gloomy depressive songs this year.

A lot of the staging for these entries seems to consist of "how fast can we get these hundreds of white lights to flash?"

His dad is an opera singer iirc

OK Serbia has just rescued the entire contest.

What is the Serbian song about?

I think it is literally about healthcare as per the commentary?!

Serbia was brilliant, so glad I had the subtitles on.

Hands. Face. Space.

https://eurovision.tv/participant/konstrakta-22 you can see the lyrics in English here

Loved it

A healthy mind in a healthy body (Spoken backwards in Latin)

What could be the secret of Meghan Markle’s healthy hair?

What could it be?

What could be the secret of Meghan Markle’s healthy hair?

What could it be? (What could it be?)

I think it’s all about deep hydration

They say our skin and hair show it all

For example, deep undereye circles could signal liver trouble

The pesky spots around the lips point to an enlarged spleen

That’s not a good spleen, not a very pretty spleen

And the artist must be healthy

To be healthy, to be healthy

To be healthy

To-to-to-to be healthy

To be healthy, to be healthy

must be, must be, must be

How lucky the existence of the autonomic nervous system

No need to control my heartbeats

The heart beats, the heart beats, alone

A summer’s day, the colours bright, skirts of mine, on my body

My dog and I, we walk

just the two of us, counting steps

The skirt goes around my leg

We are walking and that’s all!

And it does not have to get better!

The heart beats by itself!

I surrender my trust, let it beat by itself!

I surrender my trust, let it beat! Let me breathe!

God grant us health, grant us health, grant us health!

(God grant us health)

Since there’s no medical insurance for me

Now how will they follow me?
(All in the name of health)

How will they care for me?
(All in the name of health)

The artist is invisible
(All in the name of health)

You can’t see me, it’s magical
(All in the name of health)

The artist could be healthy

To be healthy

To be healthy

To be healthy

To-to-to-to be healthy

To be healthy, to be healthy

must be, must be, must be

(A healthy mind in a healthy body)

(A healthy mind in a healthy body)

In a healthy body, in a healthy body

A healthy body

and what now?!

A sick mind in a healthy body

A sad soul in a healthy body

A desperate mind in a healthy body

A frightened mind in a healthy body

Now what shall we do?

That is genius. It MUST WIN.

People are mad about Serbia. It got the biggest cheer when she came out.

“You can vote up to twenty times” - always uncomfortable not knowing the upper limit until now

Thanks Gyac for the lyrics.

Moldova
Serbia
Ukraine

Honourable mentions for the French and not despising the UK entry.

You say this, but I know you’ll be giving Spain your votes

audibly gasped when the måneskin bassist appeared

— 𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔰 🧲 (@PerthshireMags) May 14, 2022

lmao

Since Maneskin actually turned up, does that mean we don't have to listen to Mika sing?

Nope the interval act and last year’s winner are always separate

Graham’s “oh dear” killed me

….. my wife pic.twitter.com/mzj1taoyvf

— 𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙵 𝚂𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 (@drratbag) May 14, 2022

I hesitated over Serbia for a hot minty but then went Sweden, genuine good song. Rounding out my top 5 would be Italy, Estonia (hated it on first listen but really enjoyed it tonight), and fuck it, Ukraine I guess

Actually I forgot, I'd put Lithuania 5

UK genuinely horrific, I hope he gets zero, gets run out of Torino on a rail, gets maudlin and falls asleep smoking, dies in a housefire

I'd agree if you were talking about Mika.

Bit much to wish death on either Mika or (UK Singer who looked like a rabbit) tbh. Just some singers doing their jobs.