Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

Just browsed through the wonderful Abbey Road web store and this can't be life. Who buys this stuff?

I once came across a TEAC A-3340 or something at a pawn shop a few years ago, and don’t regret not picking it up. Idk if that’s a good model, but just the thought of it needing service and the cost of open-reel recordings was too much of a minefield to try to do frugally. I’m sure there’s a scene for that (perhaps some folks here collect them), but it seems like if there would have been a heyday for getting into it, it would have been in the late 90s-00s when ppl were just figuring out the internet and just offloading shit they thought was outdated.

thought i was in the NFT thread for a sec

― scanner darkly

Yes omg this is NFTs for boomers!

No Floyd Tapes

Oh wait, these are litho prints of the front and back of the tape box, mounted in little photo-corners? I thought it was the actual box at least!

I'd happy pay a tenner for a photographic reproduction of the master tape box (of something I actually love, like, I dunno, Brilliant Trees or House Tornado or something) on something useful, like a ring binder or a mouse mat or a pencil case, but obviously that's far too trashy gift shop / Paperchase for Abbey Road. Chuck in a certificate and it's £200.

I used to like those '90s CD re-issues with images of hand-written stereo master labels in the liner notes. Never occurred to me you could charge big bucks for those images!

I take it back, Abbey Road shop is full of this kind of "useful" tat. You can never have enough tote bags.

TEAC A-3340

Pretty sure we had one of these when I worked in a university archive - we had the congressional papers from a long serving speaker of the house and some other state things and the archivist was required by law to keep them in their original format and have the hardware necessary to make reproductions as needed. So we had an 8 track player, reel-to-reel, Zip drives, ancient giant floppy drives, and multiples of a weird film projecter from the 80s that happened to have a composite video output - he bought a few on ebay to keep around as backups.

tbh i can totally see myself splurging £200 on the original master tape box for some album i really love as a cool collectible & now i'm kinda mad that the idea is in my head but its not a thing being offered

Maybe they don't have the rights to the music? But wait, they're using the EMI logo???

Maybe they have a deal with EMI were they can use the trademark on reproductions of old stuff (from when that was the studio name), and EMI gets a cut

if this ain't the way you listen to yer vinyls than yer doin it wrong. pic.twitter.com/1Lj2oE9Yhx

— QueenCityJamz (@QueenCityJamz) March 3, 2022

i'm getting some unpleasant resonances. what fillings do you recommend for soundstage accuracy and clarity?

it helps to swallow a handful of shakti stones first

Hey look! Side two is now for sale.

https://shop.abbeyroad.com/*/*/Pink-Floyd-The-Dark-Side-of-the-Moon-EMI-Tape-Box-Folio-Side-Two/7BHJ0000000

Okay, it stopped being funny.

>:|

$300+ shipped to the U.S. Imagine someone designing some ridiculous super deluxe box set and stopping at the sight of this, thinking "wait, are you saying we don't even need actual content to make this kind of money???"

Here is one of the last batch that came out, it's not even a tape box, just a folder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GUeyNVmVds

omg

New car, caviar, four-star daydream (...amirite?)

have to take your hat off to em, this is next level bullshit

$300+ shipped to the U.S. Imagine someone designing some ridiculous super deluxe box set and stopping at the sight of this, thinking "wait, are you saying we don't even need actual content to make this kind of money???"

How many bands could get away with it*, probably just Pink Floyd and The Beatles? I don't think Stones fans would go for an Exile version of this.

* assuming that more than 5 of these actually sell which is a big assumption

Surprised Robert Fripp hasn't at least tried.

Well, soon you can buy 32 discs of Fripp's music, in a box with a 50-page booklet for £160

My coworker pulled the grill cloth off some "vintage speakers" and found this pic.twitter.com/DumrqmFXPL

— stu (@rinbcage) March 19, 2022

(chef's kiss)

hold on to your shakti stones, cuz the $700 usb dummy plug https://www.thecableco.com/rut-1-usb-terminator.html

missed a word there

They’ve convinced me

USB port of the computer and audio equipment, always operating state, what to release noise even in the open state that does not use, has had a negative effect on the audio equipment. In particular, USB has coexist power supply line and the signal line, making it the sensitive structure the influence of noise. The type of memory shape to be attached to USB-A port vacant acoustic Riva USB isolator RUT-1 of Eve, was laminated the signal line of high quality resistance, power line Built-in noise cut circuit using a good quality of parts is doing. Noise and distortion, stimulus component is reduced, sound localization is clarified, such as texture and three-dimensional feeling, every item will dramatically improve. Should you are able to recognize the importance of noise and vibration control measures of free USB terminal that has been ignored so far

That's amazing. The description doesn't even make sense.

But yes, agreed: quite convincing.

Holy shit, lol

Built-in noise cut circuit using a good quality of parts is doing.

It reads like Madlibs that didn't quite work out. Company is based in PA and not only do they have free consultation, but also a loyalty program. The whole site is wonderful. $9000 cables. $35000 headphone amps. $123000 turntables. Fascinating!

I want to be on the pricing strategy team, do they sit around the table upping the price until someone finally cracks and starts laughing?

Agreed. My kinda place, if so. Going into every staff meeting with that "I'm not even blinking until we get to seven figures" face.

i wonder how vast the soundstage would be if i applied cream electret to the RUT-1

Some all-time classic contributions recently to this (already MFSL-quality) thread.

Some amazing close-out deals on The Cable Company's sister site usedcable.com. $2000 RCA cables on fire sale for the low low price of $875.

No doubt with all the aligned electrons squeezed out of them, though.

plus they're all gunked up from the hot stampers the previous owners played through em

This is a far cry from switchplates and crystals, but in the spirit of Absurd Audio I offer you this.

https://clearaudio.de/en/products/turntables-statement.php

Altho to be honest if I was a billionaire I’d probably buy one.

Price is somewhere around $230,000 CAD

I would pay that much for a replica made out of Legos.

But not for the actual turntable.

So $250K turntables are the new $250K watches?

Wow. 350 KG (770 lb.). I'd be terrified to place it anywhere other than terra firma.

And it can't even play 16 RPM! Worthless.

tbrr if I was a billionaire I’d buy a handful of these garbage products over breakfast and have them overnighted to discard by dinner the next day

not a lot of them, because I’m not that wasteful!

I'd buy one and dedicate it to listening to Misfits bootlegs that sound like they were recorded in the bottom of a well.

To this day I am unsure whether Audiophile magazine (or whoever it was) was trolling its readership by deciding that the "unmeasurables" separating good gear from great, were "pace, rhythm and timing" - acronym PRAT.

Lol, I have heard that turntable on more than one occasion.

I'd buy one and dedicate it to listening to Misfits bootlegs that sound like they were recorded in the bottom of a well.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, April 5, 2022 11:35 PM

New bucket list item, thx.

Continuing on that sidebar, I saw some reddit thread recently where some poor soul was asking if the early Misfits singles had been remastered or anything like that because he keeps trying to listen to them but they sound so terrible!

Sure, the Misfits do sound terrible, but probably not what they meant . . .

I may or may not have an alt on Reddit where I offer purposely ridiculous advice in audiophile (and similar) subs.

☺