OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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all these words are entirely fine, plz don't let this never-exactly-great thread decline into the always awful "words and phrases" thread

mark s, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 11:09 (three years ago) link

I'd be cool with reviews using "sausage."

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 13:04 (three years ago) link

you want people to write reviews with their penis?

there's too much fucking shit on me (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 13:53 (three years ago) link

he said sausage, not sauseeg.

peace, man, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 14:30 (three years ago) link

My sausage slaps!

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 14:31 (three years ago) link

mine's a banger

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 14:34 (three years ago) link

bangers 'n' smash

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 14:35 (three years ago) link

Sausage Slaps is a great name for a band.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 14:36 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Don’t know where to put this, but it’s amusing to me that this article refers to Megan Thee Stallion as “Stallion” on second reference.

Shallot Shortage 2021 (morrisp), Wednesday, 25 August 2021 04:03 (three years ago) link

lol that is very funny.

heyy nineteen, that's john belushi (the table is the table), Sunday, 29 August 2021 21:13 (three years ago) link

"Mr Vert"

Film not music but please enjoy this sentence with me

"Despite the film’s compact running time of just more than 80 minutes, some of these scenes drag out and never quite arrive at a level of depth and originality a filmmaker like Miranda July, whose distinct style the film brings to mind, possesses with her one-of-a-kind voice."

https://variety.com/2021/film/reviews/how-it-ends-review-1234896131/

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 5 September 2021 17:00 (three years ago) link

OOf, that's bad.

Kind regards, Anus (the table is the table), Tuesday, 7 September 2021 18:51 (three years ago) link

that distinctive style is possessing a compact running time

think “Gypsy-Pixie” and misspelled. (We are a white family.) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 19:06 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

something about the combination of arguments, bullshit postulates and crap writing makes this one special
https://www.slantmagazine.com/music/the-pixies-trompe-le-monde-retrospective-review/

assert (matttkkkk), Friday, 24 September 2021 02:22 (three years ago) link

https://californianewstimes.com/r-kelly-conviction-will-this-be-musics-metoo-moment/544694/

I'm guessing this is some translation problem but wow:

“Executives are paralyzed. They’re burying their heads in the sand,” said Drew Dixon, a former A & R executive who raped music tycoon Russell Simmons. “The idea that this dysfunctional culture is needed to create the magic of hit records is a crackdown.”

Former A & R executive Drew Dixon, who raped music tycoon Russell Simmons, denies him © Getty / Equality Now

Dixon in his early twenties got a dream job. A Def Jam Recordings scout talent who worked with artists such as Notorious BIG, she left the company after Simmons claimed to have been raped. She will eventually leave the industry altogether. Simmons denied Dixon’s allegations, stating that all his relationships had reached an agreement.

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 18:26 (three years ago) link

What the fuck is California News Times?

peace, man, Wednesday, 6 October 2021 18:31 (three years ago) link

I think that's an AI bot, fam

licorice in the front, pizza in the rear (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 18:44 (three years ago) link

^^^

most of these sites are bad at getting a lot of search clout but some sneak into google news or whatever. they just scrape popular headlines, grab some text from existing stories, and then use a halfassed completion engine to generate vaguely English-looking text in order to get clicks

mh, Wednesday, 6 October 2021 19:47 (three years ago) link

cool world

alpine static, Wednesday, 6 October 2021 21:39 (three years ago) link

there’s always been a lot of noise in the machine

mh, Wednesday, 6 October 2021 23:09 (three years ago) link

are you saying there was as much noise in the machine, say, 50 or 100 years ago as there is today?

alpine static, Thursday, 7 October 2021 05:46 (three years ago) link

let me rephrase: are you saying today's noise is comparable to the noise 50 or 100 years ago?

alpine static, Thursday, 7 October 2021 05:46 (three years ago) link

static up in those hills

mh, Thursday, 7 October 2021 17:57 (three years ago) link

If that is bad music writing, I don't want to see good.

Sequel to Sadness (Sund4r), Sunday, 10 October 2021 04:20 (three years ago) link

More reviews of 60-year-old novelty songs by retired editors of Minnesota community papers plz

Sequel to Sadness (Sund4r), Sunday, 10 October 2021 04:21 (three years ago) link

Perhaps you will enjoy the follow-up column.

juristic person (morrisp), Sunday, 10 October 2021 04:29 (three years ago) link

The shout-out to “critical race theory” really situates the dude in a milieu.

New Zealand, with that hottie (hardcore dilettante), Sunday, 10 October 2021 05:45 (three years ago) link

I would happily dance to a song called "Critical Race Theory" (I'm imagining Gang of Four styles) but I respect the views of those who would find it difficult.

Sequel to Sadness (Sund4r), Sunday, 10 October 2021 12:18 (three years ago) link

With 10 minutes and a notepad, I could probably work up a critical race theory parody of Supertramp's "Logical Song."

Extinct Namibian shrub genus: Var. (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 10 October 2021 14:40 (three years ago) link

I believe they're still accepting submissions for the ilx comp.

Sequel to Sadness (Sund4r), Sunday, 10 October 2021 15:10 (three years ago) link

Maybe comp 9 should be devoted to dancing to critical race theory?

Sequel to Sadness (Sund4r), Sunday, 10 October 2021 15:11 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Bonded by a shared love of Eighties hardcore and Nineties hip-hop, the creators of @boredapeyc make more than NFTs— they built an immersive, fantastical world. See how Bored Ape Yacht Club took over the internet, and how the founders envision their future. https://t.co/708BlWQGEq pic.twitter.com/XQ00Ijmjsp

— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) November 1, 2021

ufo, Tuesday, 2 November 2021 00:58 (two years ago) link

‘Are we the Beastie Boys of NFTs?”

Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 01:30 (two years ago) link

“Bored Ape Yacht Club,” folks

Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 01:39 (two years ago) link

There is a universe in which they have taken over the internet apparently

Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 02:52 (two years ago) link

Any universe I’m welcome to

Exploding Plastic Bertrand (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 03:09 (two years ago) link

If you like Gorillaz as much as Toad the Wet Sprocket, then you’ll love…

Exploding Plastic Bertrand (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 03:12 (two years ago) link

trashbat.co.ck

A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 2 November 2021 14:54 (two years ago) link

Immersive! Fantastical! Morally Corrupt!

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 November 2021 06:34 (two years ago) link

It's broadcast media, so I don't know whether it qualifies for this thread, but there is a current BBC series on 80s music written and presented by GQ editor and biographer of David Cameron Dylan Jones that is just terrible.

fetter, Saturday, 6 November 2021 09:05 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

So I guess the Express is some kind of britisher garbagepaper, but even our garbagepapers are better than this:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1530552/Richard-Cole-dead-death-Led-Zeppelin-tour-manager-Robert-Plant-instagram-tribute-news

Richard Cole dead: Led Zeppelin tour manager dies as Robert Plant praises his 'bravery'
RICHARD COLE, former Led Zeppelin tour manager, has died aged 75.
By MELANIE KAIDAN
17:17, Thu, Dec 2, 2021 | UPDATED: 17:53, Thu, Dec 2, 2021

Richard Cole, best known for his work as Led Zeppelin’s tour manager, has died aged 75, one month before his birthday. The London-born music manager worked with legendary rock band Led Zeppelin from 1968 to 1980.

He also worked with other music giants including Eric Clapton, Black Sabbath, Lita Ford, and Ozzy Osbourne.

Led Zeppelin’s lead singer and lyricist, Robert Plant, paid an emotional tribute to his late tour manager:

In view of his 615,000 Instagram followers, the singer referred to Richard as “brave to the end”.

He wrote: “Farewell Ricardo...

“Sadly no more tall tales... brave to the end.”

The candid caption was accompanied by a photograph of the pair laughing.

Robert received an outpouring of messages of support from fans on the social media platform.

_sha_nizzle typed: “Very sorry to read this..

“May he rest in peace.”

groupieplant added: “It can't be!

“I do not believe.”

_bella_jenn_ said: “Condolences for your loss. R.I.P. Richard”

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 3 December 2021 13:07 (two years ago) link

That's it. That's the article.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 3 December 2021 13:07 (two years ago) link

Our nation turns its lonely eyes to _sha_nizzle

tone-loki (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 3 December 2021 13:09 (two years ago) link

groupieplant

who's afraid of adrian woolfe? (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:22 (two years ago) link

.

Goofy the Grifter (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:53 (two years ago) link

"hope he's on the 'stairway to heaven'" added _zep_mom_9456

Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Friday, 3 December 2021 16:14 (two years ago) link

Heh

Goofy the Grifter (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 3 December 2021 18:09 (two years ago) link

Surprised Plant only has 615,000 Instagram followers (seems low)

katebishopfan616 (morrisp), Friday, 3 December 2021 18:10 (two years ago) link


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