pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Or maybe just a simple “people are dumb” thread and we can make every thread on the board redirect to it

― 80's hair metal , and good praise music ! (DJP),

US Politics June 2021 - "Where we're going, we don't NEED bipartisanship"

someday people will collect threads like dead shows, and there will be this really infamous 2021 sequence that goes "pitchfork is dumb" --> "people are dumb" --> "you're dumb" --> "no you're dumb" --> "im dum"

― Karl Malone,

when Holger Czukay joined for that one set iirc

https://i.imgur.com/C9DvIex.gif

it's cool in the pool baby

Am I the only one who remembers the Brent DiCrescenzo review actually being fun back in 2000, or am I going to get chased off the board for mentioning that? I mean back then, I was used to reading stodgy Rolling Stone capsule reviews, and that blogger style was pretty new.
Yup, I had the same experience. Not with that particular review per se, but when I first started reading Pitchfork in the late '90s, I loved that half of the reviews felt like wacky creative-writing exercises, with albums as prompts. Not really what I'm looking for out of music criticism these days, but it did feel fresh and exciting at the time, IMO.

― jaymc, Monday, June 7, 2021 11:58 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah I can relate to this. When I first started reading Pitchfork in 1999 I was 13 or 14 years old, so those reviews seemed cool and unique to me. Most of it makes me cringe now, especially the Schreiber-penned stuff. I also remember they had like a banner on the homepage for weeks that said something like "Stop what you're doing and buy the album Emergency & I by the Dismemberment Plan immediately" and I'm glad they did because that album blew my mind back then. Still does sometimes

I, for one, am consistently entertained by this thread's shenanigans.

― pomenitul, Tuesday, June 8, 2021 9:53 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

weezer just streamed a new song calling out Pitchfork as "an office full of dorks". ouch.

They would know

*to the tune of Island in the Sun*: "office full of dorks"

"This is a message that my manager wouldn’t approve/ After this song, he’ll have a lot of cleaning up to do,” Rivers Cuomo sings. “Don’t be influenced by an office full of dorks/ I won’t mention any names [cough cough] Pitchfork.”

Folks, America's greatest power pop band has still got it

I demand to speak to Rivers' manager.

Rivers’ manager gulping down antacid pills

*to the tune of Island in the Sun*: "office full of dorks"

― bruce spr!ngisH3r3 on broadway (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, June 10, 2021 4:39 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol i keep reading it in a pimp c "pocketful of stones" voice

and i've realized that even pimp c couldn't make that line sound cool

Oh no, the Weezer fanclub loons are going to come after everyone's favorite music magazine!

This track review reads 100% like a PR piece: https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/lorde-solar-power/

Rivers Cuomo has a lot of nerve calling anyone else a dork

lorde review would pair nicely with

#ad Mix up your cocktails and keep the summertime feeling going all year long with @drinkbabe https://t.co/rgiRBwPc4J

— Pitchfork (@pitchfork) September 5, 2020

Drink BABE
for mixin' cocktails with a plastic tipped cigar
#ad

I wish "Megan Thee Stallion Reignites Hot Girl Summer With the Fuck-Off Anthem “Thot Shit”" was in fact the name of the new megan thee stallion song

late period Weezer is the most perplexing thing to me
why?

re: Weezer, my issue isn't so much watching dude's mid-life crisis play out in public as much as it why has it been going on for 20 years

that's the privilege of white boy-men

weezer lyric is so dumb and such a terrible diss that i like it lol

I had Spotify randomly serve up some new Weezer song and the chorus was literally about listening to audiobooks on the Audible app

I wonder if they get cash from product placement in lyrics?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhjhaJwhBLI

lmao of all the songs for you to hear... it's kind of a jam tho imo

idk to me weezer has always been a profoundly dumb band and this is why they are enjoyable, and i feel like ppl have been experiencing this indisputable fact as something to have excessive cognitive dissonance over since the day the green album came out

they have made many bad and deservedly hated albums tho

^^^ this is v otm (both posts, caught in the xpost)

one of my favorite lyrics on van weezer is "listening to aerosmith / later on i will call my mom"

would highly recommend this vid which covers the teenage weezer fan to.... where we are now... journey very well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WeEyncm_jQ

The fact that Weezer and Smashing Pumpkins still take up so much air is baffling to me since both of these bands lost the plot 20 years ago. There are way bigger and way less offensive 90s guys (Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Prophets of Rage) who aren't awarded as nearly a constant platform and also aren't constantly tripping over their dicks

idk, I feel like Pumpkins have faded away a ton in the last few years and have nowhere near the omnipresence that Weezer inexplicably still has. i think the last Pumpkins tour had to cancel a bunch of dates and curtain off large portions of the venues due to low ticket sales, while Weezer is set to co-headline ballparks with Green Day. most of the buzz i see about the Pumpkins, even now, is mostly nostalgia and hoping for the machina reissue. iow, even pumpkins fans don't seem to give a shit about current pumpkins product these days.

which doesn't take away from your point, but i think Weezer is on a their own inexplicably weird level of ubiquity

every 13 year old boy into rock somehow hears Blue and Pinkerton. unfortunately they don't hear Siamese Dream through Adore.

good music = memes

thx, pfork!

integrity

there's a whole bunch of factors behind weezer's strange continued ubiquity compared to all those other 90s acts:
-they're really prolific and have only been getting even more prolific - they released seven albums in the last decade
-they never broke up & kept having radio hits long after they lost the plot, due to being fairly pop-minded even at their worst
-they're still on a major label with the extra promotional pushes that can give them
-some of their more recent stuff has actually been ok-to-good, somehow - the white album is genuinely a very good power pop album that's up with their peak period material
-their bad stuff is bad in often fascinatingly strange ways rather than just being bland & hookless (though there's plenty of that too), and even on some of their weakest albums there's sometimes glimpses of what made them good originally. i think that last part is what helped drive the really hardcore fans particularly mad - the sense that cuomo is actually still capable of writing songs of the quality he once did & just isn't interested in that anymore (and that actually turned out to be true with the white album lol)

even despite all that they're very clearly third rung on that upcoming stadium tour behind green day and fall out boy - unlike those two they don't manage to play arenas on their own or anything.

i don't think smashing pumpkins really do take up much air at all these days. there was some brief excitement for the semi-reunion tour a few years ago, but no one has really cared much about new material forever. corgan gets some attention in the media when he gives a particularly dumb/weird quote about something but that's about it. obviously peak pumpkins >>>>>>> peak weezer though & both are very well cemented in the alt rock canon. would probably be better if no teen was encouraged to listen to pinkerton again though

The fact that Weezer and Smashing Pumpkins still take up so much air is baffling to me since both of these bands lost the plot 20 years ago.

Weezer had only first signaled that they understood the plot 20 years ago, on May 15, 2001, when they returned from hiatus with their triumphant Green Album. They quickly lost it again, but let's get the timeline right.

As a non-fan, it was the only moment where they briefly seemed interesting/cool.

I saw them with the get up kids on that tour, they were great. Too many green album songs though

'green is the best weezer album' people are the most confusing of all weezer fans to me

weezer fans are the most confusing of all people to me

Fans are the most confusing people

Interesting array / arrangement of reviews for Monday… I probably would have featured Alfred’s favorable (7.3) piece on a new album from a well-known band, over the mixed (6.0) write-up on an artist who seems interesting to the reviewer mainly from a semiotic standpoint.

Slayyyter is a Big Deal On The Internet

As a non-fan, it was the only moment where they briefly seemed interesting/cool

good morning!

It was a great piece, Mr. Soto.

Apologies if this appears upthread and I missed it

https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/new-yorker-employees-protested-outside-anna-wintours-house.html

As one of the few who've kept up with Garbage all along, it was great to not only see that review, but even better to see who wrote it. Excellent job, Alfred.