pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

"the most trusted name in music"

(proceeds to lie about its own history)

also funny that this is the thread for criticizing them and i (or anyone else) get dogpiled on every time i attempt to do so.

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”
―Carl Sagan

Long story short, Ryan is a millionaire

Should've posted that Sagan quote to the Xgau thread instead.

the kinfolk said, Ryan, move away from there

more like soy disant

Should've posted that Sagan quote to the Xgau thread instead.

― pomenitul, Tuesday, 8 June 2021 15:15 (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol I thought this was that thread reading it for a second

oh yeah ultimately all scores should be stripped from the site imo, i hate coming up with them and i even forgot to assign one to clarity when i filed. it'll never happen

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Tuesday, 8 June 2021 02:15

What's funny is that the moment I saw that there was a Sunday review for Jimmy Eat World's Clarity and it was written by Brad, I immediately guessed that the score would be 8.6, and I was right. I'm not really sure what that says about me, Pitchfork or Brad at this moment.

sorry, i'm still on my old school pitchfork remembrance journey. the writing was definitely sometimes very bad - even as a teen i knew that some of them were like HS creative writing exercises. however, they were very frequently experimental, and i REALLY liked that as a kid. and sometimes - frequently, even - they were better than anything in the print outlets, even if they combined typos and if the writers weren't really pro critics. that's why i (and i suspect many) kept reading every single day for so many years.

pitchfork needs a new vertical for "the experiment zone". sure to be profitable for conde nastay

speaking of,

We aren’t on strike yet, but we will be picketing @CondeNast Chief Content Officer Anna Wintour’s block tomorrow. Join us at 6:30 P.M. at N.Y.U. Stern, and then we'll march over together. Solidarity! pic.twitter.com/gKOYl4ezBC

— The New Yorker Union (@newyorkerunion) June 7, 2021

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”
―Carl Sagan

applicable to so many threads but gonna resist the urge to post this to the Spotify thread because I have discovered that people there are really, really protective of Joe Rogan's meal ticket for some reason

maybe using that quote to apply to a site that reviews music is a tad dramatic? again, i understand disliking p4k and disagreeing with its institutional opinions, but i don't really see the basis of a moral crusade here

Pitchfork is a big windmill.

acting like writing a freelance review for pitchfork here and there - especially as the number of venue for serious rock writing continues to shrink - is like being a lawyer for monsanto or something is pretty weird

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2771-the-eminem-show/

voodoo chili otm, Sagan was talking about science v. pseudoscience iirc ffs. but this thread has been locked in the same groove for years now, so I accept that posting at all is part of the problem

I, for one, am consistently entertained by this thread's shenanigans.

is it time for threads on “people who complain about pitchfork are dumb” and “people how defend pitchfork are dumb”

Or maybe just a simple “people are dumb” thread and we can make every thread on the board redirect to it

#onethread!!!!!

When you're a dumber

xp

xps turn that thread groove upside-down and it's motorik

someday people will collect threads like dead shows, and there will be this really infamous 2021 sequence that goes "pitchfork is dumb" --> "people are dumb" --> "you're dumb" --> "no you're dumb" --> "im dum"

Or maybe just a simple “people are dumb” thread and we can make every thread on the board redirect to it

― 80's hair metal , and good praise music ! (DJP),

US Politics June 2021 - "Where we're going, we don't NEED bipartisanship"

someday people will collect threads like dead shows, and there will be this really infamous 2021 sequence that goes "pitchfork is dumb" --> "people are dumb" --> "you're dumb" --> "no you're dumb" --> "im dum"

― Karl Malone,

when Holger Czukay joined for that one set iirc

https://i.imgur.com/C9DvIex.gif

it's cool in the pool baby

Am I the only one who remembers the Brent DiCrescenzo review actually being fun back in 2000, or am I going to get chased off the board for mentioning that? I mean back then, I was used to reading stodgy Rolling Stone capsule reviews, and that blogger style was pretty new.
Yup, I had the same experience. Not with that particular review per se, but when I first started reading Pitchfork in the late '90s, I loved that half of the reviews felt like wacky creative-writing exercises, with albums as prompts. Not really what I'm looking for out of music criticism these days, but it did feel fresh and exciting at the time, IMO.

― jaymc, Monday, June 7, 2021 11:58 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah I can relate to this. When I first started reading Pitchfork in 1999 I was 13 or 14 years old, so those reviews seemed cool and unique to me. Most of it makes me cringe now, especially the Schreiber-penned stuff. I also remember they had like a banner on the homepage for weeks that said something like "Stop what you're doing and buy the album Emergency & I by the Dismemberment Plan immediately" and I'm glad they did because that album blew my mind back then. Still does sometimes

I, for one, am consistently entertained by this thread's shenanigans.

― pomenitul, Tuesday, June 8, 2021 9:53 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

weezer just streamed a new song calling out Pitchfork as "an office full of dorks". ouch.

They would know

*to the tune of Island in the Sun*: "office full of dorks"

"This is a message that my manager wouldn’t approve/ After this song, he’ll have a lot of cleaning up to do,” Rivers Cuomo sings. “Don’t be influenced by an office full of dorks/ I won’t mention any names [cough cough] Pitchfork.”

Folks, America's greatest power pop band has still got it

I demand to speak to Rivers' manager.

Rivers’ manager gulping down antacid pills

*to the tune of Island in the Sun*: "office full of dorks"

― bruce spr!ngisH3r3 on broadway (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, June 10, 2021 4:39 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol i keep reading it in a pimp c "pocketful of stones" voice

and i've realized that even pimp c couldn't make that line sound cool

Oh no, the Weezer fanclub loons are going to come after everyone's favorite music magazine!

This track review reads 100% like a PR piece: https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/lorde-solar-power/

Rivers Cuomo has a lot of nerve calling anyone else a dork

lorde review would pair nicely with

#ad Mix up your cocktails and keep the summertime feeling going all year long with @drinkbabe https://t.co/rgiRBwPc4J

— Pitchfork (@pitchfork) September 5, 2020

Drink BABE
for mixin' cocktails with a plastic tipped cigar
#ad

I wish "Megan Thee Stallion Reignites Hot Girl Summer With the Fuck-Off Anthem “Thot Shit”" was in fact the name of the new megan thee stallion song

late period Weezer is the most perplexing thing to me
why?

re: Weezer, my issue isn't so much watching dude's mid-life crisis play out in public as much as it why has it been going on for 20 years

that's the privilege of white boy-men

weezer lyric is so dumb and such a terrible diss that i like it lol

I had Spotify randomly serve up some new Weezer song and the chorus was literally about listening to audiobooks on the Audible app

I wonder if they get cash from product placement in lyrics?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhjhaJwhBLI

lmao of all the songs for you to hear... it's kind of a jam tho imo

idk to me weezer has always been a profoundly dumb band and this is why they are enjoyable, and i feel like ppl have been experiencing this indisputable fact as something to have excessive cognitive dissonance over since the day the green album came out

they have made many bad and deservedly hated albums tho

^^^ this is v otm (both posts, caught in the xpost)

one of my favorite lyrics on van weezer is "listening to aerosmith / later on i will call my mom"