Kelis - C/D

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Rodney is almost OTM; it's not the worst song ever but WOW do I never, ever, ever want to hear it again.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

I'm pretty sure you can already hear "Bossy" by pressing the red button on any Casio keyboard...

― less-than three's Christiane F. (drowned in milk), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

the braxe/falke bossy remix (well, one of them) of bossy is TOTALLY BOSS. kicks the original's ass.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

HEL-lo...

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

braxe/falke rmx!!!!

― The Lex (The Lex), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

s1ocki very otm. the only thing i'm really crazy about the original is the sopranos quote. and as long as superfine kelis is on her album covers ain't none of them going to be 'awful'.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 3 August 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, but that cover does work awful hard to separate the words "Kelis" and "superfine" from one another.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Thursday, 3 August 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

Rodney is almost OTM; it's not the worst song ever but WOW do I never, ever, ever want to hear it again.

Rhetoric, dude.

― It's Rodney, assume the position! (R. J. Greene), Thursday, 3 August 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

I like the SebastiAn remix much better than the Braxe/Falke remix. And so should you.

― less-than three's Christiane F. (drowned in milk), Thursday, 3 August 2006 20:48 (nineteen years ago)

switch remix, people! k-wtf factor, esp the end!

― etc (esskay), Thursday, 3 August 2006 21:29 (nineteen years ago)

Just for the record, it's not an 808. I'm sick of people calling any minimal electro kit an 808!

Also, this song is awful. Kelis has so little charisma, it makes me uncomfortable just to listen to it.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

She says 808 in the song. And she has plenty of charisma (see: almost anything else she's done), which doesn't change the fact that the song is an atrocity.

― It's Rodney, assume the position! (R. J. Greene), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

Is there really any argument about Kelis having charisma?

And (way x-post)she has already produced a slice of genius and it was called Milkshake. I'm amazed that The Lex didn't/hasn't realised this.

And as Rodney says, this doesn't stop the new single being meh at best

― Guilty Boksen (Bro_Danielson), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

there's actually TWO different braxe/falke mixes on that 12" (along with the sebastian and switch ones). all pretty good!

― HPSTRKRFT (haitch), Thursday, 3 August 2006 23:34 (nineteen years ago)

"Bossy" = WORST. SONG. EVAR.
Just needed to be said.

not while Milkshake exists. what happened to kelis?

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 3 August 2006 23:40 (nineteen years ago)

I can't wait for Weird Al's "I'm Gassy".

― Marmot 4-Tay: The root cause of dragon hatred among power metal bands. (marmotwo, Thursday, 3 August 2006 23:48 (nineteen years ago)

And (way x-post)she has already produced a slice of genius and it was called Milkshake. I'm amazed that The Lex didn't/hasn't realised this.

eh? i know! where did i say otherwise?

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 4 August 2006 07:13 (nineteen years ago)

"Kelis is back :) Both 'Kaleidoscope' and 'Wanderland' are patchy, but she's an amazing pop star and one day she will make a masterpiece.
-- The Lex (alex_macpherso...) (webmail), September 1st, 2003 2:25 PM. (The Lex) (link)"

This post seemed to imply that you didn't think Milkshake was her masterpiece, bearing in mind that Milkshake was already released at this stage.

― Guilty Boksen (Bro_Danielson), Friday, 4 August 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

He was referring to albums obviously. In terms of song-masterpieces, there's half a dozen songs on Kaleidoscope alone that are miles beyond "Milkshake", and at least several on Wanderland to boot.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 4 August 2006 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

i completely disown that statement, neither kaleidoscope nor wanderland are remotely patchy, I have no idea where my ears were at back then at all.

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 5 August 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

Kaleidoscope is patchy.

― fandango (fandango), Saturday, 5 August 2006 09:52 (nineteen years ago)

Compared to what modern R&B album? I at least like all of the tracks on there, and "Good Stuff", "Caught Out There", "Get Along With You", "Mafia", "Suspended", "No Turning Back" and "Roller Rink" are all excellent. 7 excellent tracks on an R&B album is about as much as one can hope for.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Saturday, 5 August 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

"No Turning Back" was always my jam, but if it had come out even 12 months later it would probably have seemed like another generic Neptunes production - listening to this again makes me feel intensely nostalgic for when I only knew The Neptunes for this album, "Got Your Money" and "Superthug". I actually remember the day I bought Kaleidoscope, I was so excited.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

I think the highpoints just make the surrounding material sound half-assed? That might be more like it.

Anyway, I dunno, I just found it an incredibly uneven listen... I actually sold it and I LOVE Kelis really! But this probably says more about my fussiness in general than the actual record in the end.

I do want to smack Pharrell quite early on in Kaleidoscope though - TOO. MANY. SHOUTOUTS. X(

― fandango (fandango), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

It's true, Pharell was modelling himself on Jermaine Dupri on this album I think.

I'm forgiving of the weaker tracks: even half-arsed material like "Ghetto Children" is kinda goofy and silly and fun. And the run from "Good Stuff" to "Mafia" is the strongest four song succession on an R&B album that I can think of offhand.

Just listened to "Caught Out There" again, I'd forgotten the spoken-word intro. "....WHO'VE BEEN LIED TO BY THEIR MEN! AND I KNOW Y'ALL BEEN LIED TO! OVER & OVER AGAIN!"

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:21 (nineteen years ago)

And the "Dear Diary" bit in "Get Along With You"!

The Neptunes were never this pretty again, sadly.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

I probably sold this hastily to be fair. I could possibly be more forgiving now...

Still think the beat is MASSIVELY too high & hard in the mix on "Get Along With You" (another reason for smacking! and I don't like that fake i.d. mix either..) which REALLY pisses me because that track seriously 'got' me unexpected one night when I was in a post break-up state of mind.

― fandango (fandango), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

Hope this new album is good...

― fandango (fandango), Saturday, 5 August 2006 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

"Bossy" isn't exceptional and not even as good as any of the "Tasty" singles OR that amazing Björk remix(!) but it's still... fairly good.

― fandango (fandango), Saturday, 5 August 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

[i]Just for the record, it's not an 808. I'm sick of people calling any minimal electro kit an 808!

Also, this song is awful. Kelis has so little charisma, it makes me uncomfortable just to listen to it.[i/]

sounds like an 808 kick but the maracas are definately not 808. clap could have been originally. i was just lazy and got tricked by the lyrics. sadly the songs appeal has started to wear out but i got a couple of good weeks out of it. maybe there will be another good song on the album.

ps. i have noticed since last posting how much i love how she says: "i switched up the beat of the drum" she sounds like an ignorant, petulant 8 year old girl. great.

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:52 (nineteen years ago)

hey, so no bbcode right?
can i use html?

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

lets find out...

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

guess not!

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

this is crazy!!! so i can only use some html tags? how do i know which ones??

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

Whoever said Bossy is fun for about 5 seconds was OTM after all.

― rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dogies rollin', rawhide! thread (fandango), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

i can't be bothered, but i'm guessing if i scrolled up i'd find that that person was you?

i just downloaded the switch and the falke and braxe remixes and they are all teh suxxor.

― Andrew Harrison (andrewtothemax), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, but no I was just being flippant.

I was thinking of Rodney's comment probably.

― rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dogies rollin', rawhide! thread (fandango), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

six months pass...

nobody cares about "blindfold me"? this must take her off at least one dud list

― Will M., Monday, 26 February 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

'blindfold me' is fantastic, probably my favourite song on the album. polow da don does lil' jon! kelis totally gets into the spirit of this whole crunk thing.

― lex pretend, Monday, 26 February 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

I'm quite liking the new "Little Star" single. "Blindfold Me" is alright. The video is superhot. (Yes, I'm a kinky mf like that.)

― The Reverend, Monday, 26 February 2007 23:54 (nineteen years ago)

I love KWH! It made my Top 10 albums list for the year. So much goodness.

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Tuesday, 27 February 2007 00:31 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

i'm on the tennis court this morning and what pops into my head but BOSSY! so random, playing tennis with that video in mind.

― Surmounter, Thursday, 14 August 2008 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

I always thought it was cruel of her to dye her poodle green in that video. At least you weren't playing tennis with "Blindfold Me" video in mind. That would've been weird.

― danzig, Thursday, 14 August 2008 21:44 (seventeen years ago)

seven months pass...

Know what's a great song? Help Me, the track she did with Timo Maas some years back.

― chap, Thursday, 19 March 2009 19:31 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

"Milskahe" bridge = best bridge EVAH
Kills me every time.

― Turangalila, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 03:42 (sixteen years ago)

"Help Me" is classic and more people should know about it. Sadly, this chick's career is kinda dead. I've been a fan (moreso of her persona) since day one and hoped that one day she would make a real masterpiece of an album front to back, but I don't see it happening. Wanderland was the closest she came, imo. I hope the future proves me rong.

― Spinspin Sugah, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 04:24 (sixteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

kaleidoscope is so freakin good

― just sayin, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 22:17 (sixteen years ago)

Is Kelis still single? Kelis, call me!

― bamcquern, Wednesday, 9 September 2009 22:22 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm4q9NCBVkY

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

holy donna summer! digging it.

― jabba hands, Tuesday, 24 November 2009 02:18 (sixteen years ago)

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