pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Dissolve was an AV Club spinoff published by PF

it read a lot like the av club which was a problem

yes, Altered Zones ... was it really that recent??

https://pitchfork.com/news/j-balvin-and-roddy-ricch-drop-out-of-2020-mtv-vmas/

Seems weird to write this news article without a mention that j Balvin is recovering from covid

Nirvana drops out of 1994 VMAs

Today’s throwback review (of Miranda Lambert’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) is well-written, but it’s an extreme case of the usual problem — by the time Sodomsky gets around to actually talking about that particular album (for a paragraph or two), it’s startling/amusing to recall that a review of that particular album is what you had clicked on.

Keep in mind: it's only been the last few years that Pitchfork's paid attention to Lambert, therefore context is more important than usual. I didn't mind it here, in large part b/c Sodomsky's one of my favorite working writers.

Mine too, but it could have just as easily been labeled a review of Kerosene!

Kerosene’s the better album

I've leaned that way for a couple years

Whoever wrote the subhed for Sodomsky's Mary Chapin Carpenter review probably shouldn't have leaned so heavily on phrasing from the opening sentence.

I am devastated to learn there is “slut-shaming” on the new Nas album

is there a fetus

That's a pretty well-written review, though.

Maybe I'm going stir crazy but for some reason this was just cracking my up yesterday: NEWS
Lil Uzi Vert’s Virtual Concert: Here’s What Happened

You'll never guess what happened: "Running through some of his biggest hits from a socially distanced livestream in Philadelphia... Uzi performed on under a Jumbotron and on a circular stage that flashed with a number of custom designs and animations" Sounds like a good time, hope he had fun!

“on under”?

imagine trying to diagram that sentence in 1968

nevertheless, he performed on, under a jumbotron

https://y.yarn.co/397c637b-d041-4337-8c58-6c15cb7d22a9_text.gif

whoops i meant
https://y.yarn.co/397c637b-d041-4337-8c58-6c15cb7d22a9_text.gif

The Worst Part of Bill & Ted Face the Music Is the Music

i mean, they're not wrong?

Unlike the original! Big Pig and Glen Burtnik 4eva.

The music is bad in all 3 movies except for Primus I guess

the worst part of pitchfork's 2010s decade listicle was the music

the premise of the fantasy movie series Bill & Ted has always been "two untalented doofuses manage to make music that offends nobody"

the bogus journey soundtrack rules

it does! i was thinking of "god gave rock and roll to you" and "two heads are better than one" -- although at least those songs are funny-bad whereas the stuff in the last 10 minutes of face the music is headache-bad.

just to say something nice, I really like the format of Alphonse Pierre's weekly rap column

"It’s Time to Take Enya Seriously"(?)

Maybe a teaser headline format like this shouldn't bug me, but it does - b/c it implies "we" haven't been taking her seriously, and my immediate response is - "That's on you, dude"

Also, I feel like the “it’s time to take Enya seriously” thing is like five years too late at this point

yeah, agree (maybe it's an excellent podcast, idk)

pivot to Enya

It's Time to Take ABBA Seriously

About 162,000,000 results (0.73 seconds)
No results found for "it's time to take yahoo seriously".

Lol Enya has been the tip since at least the mid-2000s what fucking world are these people living in

what a bunch of absolutely disingenuous creeps.

Wha?

As usual, writers labor under the burden of headlines. I'll bet the writer wanted to write a long essay on Enya's continuing relevance -- which is fine! Enya deserves longform criticism (Brad reviewed her album a few years ago). Teaching adults between 18-25 prepares you for the gaps in their education. It's not a big deal.

Imagine how many gaps could be filled if 18-25 year olds weren't writing the bulk of music writing today

enya: why is she so bad and hated

xp otm

this is from 2014: https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/578-getting-into-enya-a-rough-guide-to-the-queen-of-new-age/

https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/GUEST_8748f11b-e3c8-4e35-86af-9044ee74a0ee?wid=488&hei=488&fmt=pjpeg

"Is Orinoco Flow Yacht Rock?"

thanks for proving my point, tyler.

fuck these revisionist assholes.

"Why Are So Many Rappers Sampling This White Irish Sextagenarian? Ready or Not, Here Comes ENYA!"

adults between 18-25

Lately I feel like no one is an adult until 30. (40, if I'm feeling particularly uncharitable. Or until you've buried a parent.)

I don't consider anyone an adult until they're dead, and I'm dead too.

things that make you an adult imo: paying off a mortgage over 15+ years, surgery, death of a parent, colonoscopy, writing a will

we should start a thread