pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Doubt it. It's all about the Metacritic average, I think?

I would like to see p4k tweet back "We don't review country music."

Assume the New York Times is getting some shit at the moment

Yep: who are you a stan of?

https://i.imgur.com/cbe3Zea.png

hmm

I've said this in the artists you have tried to get into but can't thread, but I just don't really get the Taylor Swift thing at all. All of her music seems eminently mediocre, and listening to "cardigan" just now hasn't really changed my opinion on that.

Like yeah, it's basically the same as an 8.0, but that anyone with ears could possibly think this record by Ambrose Akinmusire is less good that Taylor's new sentimental pop diarrea opus is wild to me.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/ambrose-akinmusire-on-the-tender-spot-of-every-calloused-moment/

I believe you'll find that she had indie diarrhea.... Brought on by indiegestion

sentimental pop diarrea opus

otm, diaryea is the fucking worst.

Diarrhea Planet was a pretty good band

whoa someone can’t get into the music taylor swift holy shit!

she makes music?

Her work compels us to reassess our tacit understanding of ‘music’.

Personally I find that no other music has ever sounded quite like it

I dont know Folklore is pretty good indie folk music, but is it going to inspire a thread with 1000 unicorn pics? I dont think so.

light - if you’re mad at a jazz album getting a sub-8.0 score, don’t take it out on Folklore... it’s totally a 4-star pop album. (I don’t think it makes sense anyway to comparatively rank albums in different genres, but I’ve said that in this thread already.)

I should do what now?

hmm

― The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Saturday, August 1, 2020 12:59 AM

Ha, I noticed that with the review of the new Greg Dulli album at one point. I briefly thought the days of the inscrutable pan had returned.

Like yeah, it's basically the same as an 8.0, but that anyone with ears could possibly think this record by Ambrose Akinmusire is less good that Taylor's new sentimental pop diarrea opus is wild to me.

As I've noted on here before, pretty much every jazz album reviewed on Pitchfork gets a score of between 7.0 and 8.0. It's the law.

sentimental pop diarrea opus

so you're saying it's watered down?

I assumed it meant the music is all over the place, throw it at the wall and see what sticks kind of thing

I guess that's one way of creating abstract set

*art

The header on the Sunday review reads "Each Sunday, Pitchfork takes an in-depth look at a significant album from the past, and any record not in our archives is eligible."

But some of the albums *were* in the archives at some point, right? Like today, Philip Sherburne reviewed Smog's Knock Knock, which was originally reviewed by Samir Khan.

So was Khan's review scrubbed at some point in the past, or did Sherburne's review replace it? I know that the site has gotten rid of all reviews before 1999, but the Smog record came out in January 1999. Other reviews from that month are still online.

Though probably quite insane, Callahan possesses three very important attributes: an unmistakable voice, a perplexing gift for the language of story, and the ability to make a simple song sound like a universe with impeccable taste in arrangements. He's a true slave of the song, and whatever he may lack in production technique is excused by something most musicians would kill their pregnant cat for: soul.

Why was quality work like this scrubbed i wonder

"honey, have you seen my pregnant cat anywhere?"

shit, pregnant cat!

katherine (if you’re reading) - I believe there’s a typo in today’s Alanis review(?):

just imagine the respose to “Thank U”

Great review. Love the "method to the badness" / "she knows what she's doing" paragraph.

Samir was 19 when he wrote that, just saying

This sounds like someone writing a paper in college about rap lyrics:

Like Cardi, she states what her body needs to reach this level of excitement. Her stellar performance is contingent on whether the other party is equipped to match what she’s bringing

Huh, I thought Sam1r was older than me.

He is! you and I are the same age and I'm pretty sure he's one year older than I am

Ah

This sounds like someone writing a paper in college about rap lyrics:

it's a pitch-perfect replica of a genius annotation

oh baby, state what your body needs to reach this level of excitement

Forgive me, it just seems obligatory

Pitchfork: King PU$$Y Eater revolutionizes our perception of bodies and spaces with his hit single "Goop on Ya Grinch" [7.6]

— nick (@JucheMane) April 14, 2017

prescient tweet

oh my god it's true

In summary, Megan Thee Stallion is a woman of contrasts

That tweet is gold

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I obvs get why everyone's making fun of that track review (the "Cardi kicks off “WAP” with force" part especially reads like a high school English paper) but what I'm wondering is: what *exactly* is the right way to review a song like this? It feels like no matter how you review a raunchy rap song and engage it seriously, it's gonna sound at least a little bit like the goop on ya grinch tweet.. or am I wrong? are there better examples?

I think all you need to do avoid the "Goop on Ya Grinch" effect is just not try to make it sound politically progressive

I used to laugh at how short and matter-of-fact a lot of record reviews in old punk zines were, but now I think I'd prefer it if reviews were just like "Atlanta-style hip-hop with dueling female vox. For fans of NICKI MINAJ and RICO NASTY. Lyric sheet in English and Finnish."

what *exactly* is the right way to review a song like this?

Craig Jenkins did all right.

I mean it *is* politically progressive in its own way, but that’s like the fifth most interesting thing about it and it’s possible to write about that without sounding like a somber lecture about microaggressions or whatever

lol JRN love that style of review: "Brutal Belgian raw d-beat, B+"

^This is OTM, though — in most cases, I think “track reviews” that exceed a sentence or two (i.e., fanzine or trade mag style) are hard to pull off, because... it’s a track, it’s a few minutes long, you can go listen to it, it speaks for itself. Any attempt at elaborate exegesis is bound to feel rickety and beside-the-point. (There are exceptions, I’m sure, like for very weighty or culturally relevant singles in the vein of “This Is America,” etc.)

hardwax house style

I don’t know if I agree with that take? Like, as executed by Pitchfork with their current approach and under their current mandates, sure, a track review that’s being done for perfunctory reasons stands the risk of feeling perfunctory. But I don’t think a song needs to be some sort of multifaceted diamond of obvious talking points to reward detailed examination. Former ilxor and person-whose music-opinions-I-tend-to-respect Marcello Carlin said around 2015 that he could write an entire book about Desiigner’s “Panda” if anyone were inclined to pay him for it, and I 1) believe him and 2) think it’d be pretty good.
(Hoping this doesn’t become some kind of rabbit hole for the thread but I just wanted to put my thoughts down while the above post was still recent)