"Use other words please."

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If i hear some bespectacled dweeb with a goatee refer to any...ANY...album as a Tour de Force one more time, I'm gonna nut up and start murdering musicologists! GodDAMN I hate that! Its a stale clichéd cop-out generic one-size fits all handwaving filling column inches and paid by the word pretentious prolix pseudo-profound look-I'm-now-Baudelaire-because-I-used-a-word-in-French-does-this-beret- make-my-ass-look-big piece of crap and it never EVER NEEDS TO BE USED EVER AGAIN! And I know that some people who write for Allmusic are out there, so just remember...you have been warned.

― Lord Custos III, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[Custos is yanked from his seat and the men in white coats give him his tranqs]

― Lord Custos III, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how do you feel abt "tour de france" then? *runs away*

― mark s, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Indeed."

― Arthur, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Calling an album a "Tour de France" would be cool...one time. But if they put in every freaking review for the next 20 years it will become as annoying as an uncle who changes a subject in conversation by saying "...anywho..."

― Lord Custos III, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"[x] reclaiming [his/her/their] crown as [genre's] best [lyricist/crafter-of-melodies/guitarist/sneezer]"

― Ess Kay, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think some german dudes already did call an album that, custos.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah. Kraftwerk, right?
But thats not what I meant. I meant a reviewer referring to an album as "a Tour de Fran^H^H^H^H Force."
...Anywho...

― Lord Custos III, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I find "'nuff said" completely unbearable.

― Patrick, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

- The "-esque" suffix drives me crazy, overused.

- "of [their/that] ilk" always reeks of smugness at the very least, but is also usually part of some larger, idiotic rant.

- I have an instinctive mistrust of any review that uses the phrase "cutting edge" in its praise of a band.

― Joe, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yet one more joke crushed against the brutal shoals of ILM literalism.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

U&K: establishment of canon for best sneezer per genre.

― Tim, Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"effective" - at either boring me to distraction or resembling mutant giraffosaurs: tell me which one, U cockfarmer!!

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Worst word ever = '*that'?

As in "Here on the G2 women's page we'd almost forgotten Liz Hurley - a far cry from the days when she caused an, ahem, flutter with *that* dress".

In fact that sentence is a compendium of crimes.

― *that* pinefox, Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"pseudo-" -- because YOU Mr. Critic can see THROUGH the FACADE, right?!?

― Clarke B., Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Re: '*that'

Didn't I say this on the "the whole [xXx] thing" thread. Also, add '*so', of the same American brandage.

― david h(owie), Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I find "'nuff said" completely unbearable.
Thank You. I second that motion. It hated it whenever it came out Stan Lee's mouth and hated even more whenever Lester Bangs would repeat it.
And whats worse, Bangs never had the audacity to end his reviews with "Excelsior, True Believers! Make Mine the Monkees!"

― Lord Custos III, Thursday, 27 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

Canon

― Indieholic Anonymous, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Eponymous"

EXCEPT when used by people unaware of the word's meaning. I seem to remember Jo Whiley would always use this to describe someone's first album

― chewshabadoo, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ha ha & once i heard this kid describe nirvana/kurt cobain as "prolific" & he obv thought it meant approx. "seminal", i adopted that for a while it was so great.

btw can someone tell me what things i use too much? there must be tons of annoying ones but of course one only really notices that shit when it's someone else doing it.

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Underrated.

― Colin Meeder, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Duane - you slag off the Dead C too much.

― Andrew L, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

oh c'mon i never do that any more!

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

band being reviewed = 'band x' meets 'band y'
If this were true, we could stop the review right there.

― Vinnie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah & they've usually already "met" anyway

― unknown or illegal user, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This opens itself up to meltzerian madness and beauty. aka:

Imagine X meets Yazoo on the moon and they take crack. The guitars are more angular than ever before in their prolific careers, and they chime, atmospheric in the arid sky. The music they scribe is willfully perverse, rising above their pre-packaged boring workaday ouveres. Now imagine you go fuck yourself.

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Quick, all professional published music critics within the sound of my voice, adopt the word Pseudoesque...use it in your next review...and see if your editors notice!

― Lord Custos III, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry. I was just making that word easier to read...it is NOT, repeat NOT a hyperlink. So stop clicking on it.

― Lord Custos III, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

custos invents the combo noun-less prefix-suffix

― mark s, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

"Gang of Four."

― Jody Beth Rosen, Thursday, 29 August 2002 02:05 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

PUNCTUM

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 6 November 2002 11:08 (twenty-three years ago)

eight months pass...

"X in Y shocker!"

Please stop.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 10 July 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

JtN in OTM shocker. I used this the other day and then felt bad about it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 10 July 2003 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

what words are we allowed to use?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 10 July 2003 08:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The word which is making me crazy at the moment is "relevant".

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

what words are we allowed to use?

other ones

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i hate swearing in journalism when not a direct quote... (i allow the word "shit" to be used in hiphop writing but that's it) see magazines that say "cool/catchy/XXXX as fuck". i have had these things written *into* my work and it is really annoying... i know i sear a bit on ilx, but that's more like a conversation, so ok in my book, but not in writing, please...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

... so what words am I allowed to use?

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

what words are we allowed to use?

other ones

& zeroes, p'haps...

(?(mark s: "no,no,no - use other zeroes please!"))

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"oh no, something, OH NO!" is cringesome.
"bukkake" i don't really understand.
"dude".

― sean g, Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude do's and dont's

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Supergroup, as in, "Although one hesitates to apply the overused term 'supergroup', drawing members from Zumpano, Maow, Destroyer and other unheard of bands makes them a sort of indie rock supergroup."

― Curt (cgould), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

Congrats, you now have no critical terms left! Fucking hell, lighten up -- yer public doesn't read as obsessively as the writers, they're much less likely to get het up about use of 'formally daring' or whatever. You don't get plumbers noncing on about their rivals' grouting being 'tired, played out' do yer. I get more bothered about well-worn (itself a cliche term) quotes, 'children of marx and coca-cola' or 'nobody's perfect', whatever.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Scrupulously avoiding clichés is a cliché. Writing should look effortless, and that means it should have the occasional cliché, they're the drop of vermouth in the gin.

― H., Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Writing should look effortless

Look brah, no hands!!

― enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Effortless is maybe the wrong word, but writing should be free flowing, it shouldn't look forced. I defend the occasional use of clichés.

― H., Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

duane makes a useful point, and in new zealand, i guess we really don't know what people in London get bored with conversationally, but then as duane says, generally nobody in places like this reminds people that they're really doing something annoying. please tell me in my case too.

(i often think i'm being too verbose or unlazy in computer posting becasue i seem to post more than other people sometimes)

― george gosset (gegoss), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't slag the dead c too much do i ? it's just that here in nz it's too much of a fun thing to bitch about them, and too small a country for the dead c to be bothered avoiding quite happily participating in the "dead c joke" where appropriate

if another nz band as good (at times) as the dead c popped into view, everybody in nz would be bitchily joking, with in most cases the band joining them

i don't thing anbody who i know that enjoys music and has nz connections really dislikes the dead c

― george gosset (gegoss), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I am sick to death of clichés! The only music journo. I can STOMACH these days is written in Gaelic (I think it is music criticism anyway). It is a WHOLLY EXCITING and PHONETICAL experience to these ears. I is like nothing I have ever read and remains so to this day! If you ever want to re-evaluate your perceptions of boring old music I suggest you pick up this book that I have. I don't remember what it's called, but you will know it when you see it because it is blue and a seminal mind-f**k, let me tell you. Now here is the problem: I project into the future that the sheer LIMITS of my understanding will eventually cause me to become jaded with regard to the genius of Gaelic music criticism. I mean, how many times can you read the phrase "sljdnneo ssmeiofmmm" anyway, without wanting to puke? I mean, come ON. What happens then? Well, I'll tell you what happens. I have begun my seminal work where I completely revolutionize the music criticism industry itself by myself writing IN GAELIC about all the bands of today. "It's been done", you scoff (and you'd be right). But wait. This is no ordinary Gaelic. This is a new kind of Gaelic you've never seen before because it's IN BRAILLE. (Hint to budding music journos: a ballpeen hammer, an awl and a sheet of aluminum) So far, my eponymous efforts have been rejected as "too heavy" by the establishment at the post office, but believe me, they will come around because this is like The Strokes, revolutionizing the foundations of music to a whole 'nother level.

― jazz odysseus, Thursday, 6 November 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew that Paul Morley wd come back one day!

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

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