ITT pitch your concepts for horrible '70s album titles/covers in the style of I've Got My Own Album To Do

Martin's face printed on a condom

Shades of...

https://img.discogs.com/NfW6H3hg7_F-V7O30CVznHfA_Bo=/fit-in/600x604/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(90)/discogs-images/R-2581883-1363315105-3321.jpeg.jpg

Now I'm envisioning a bass-feature record called "Back to Bassics" where the artist has actually never released anything other than stream of basic bass-feature records.

Sadly the only record of that title on Discogs seems to be some minimal techno thing.

Martin Handy - Keep One Handy

i'd honestly prefer the title "comes in handy" and the cover art is just the artist fucking his clone with a strap-on, that way it can be on two threads

Oh god. Definitely the follow-up.

Hit the Pavement

Malkmus, Spiral Stairs, and crew are lying on the road, having been severely beat up. Possibly by their clones

Bill Callahan returns to the Smog moniker with "They Oughta Do Something About The Smog" -- cover is Bill coughing in a polluted urban streetscape

The Doors "Those Swinging Doors" etc

IMHO The Doors definitely missed a trick by not by having more opening/closing puns in the titles of their six LPs.

The first post-Morrison album should've been: "One Door Closes...Another One Opens!" With a cover pic of Manzarek et al walking out of a funeral chapel arm-in-arm and laughing. Back cover: an urn.

"A Byrd in the Hand is worth Two in the Bush!"

Folk duo Flaherty and Burke stand shrugging in front of a sign saying Tree Fellers Wanted

Clearly there needs to be an album titled "Hot Takes" where the cover involves a studio reel-to-reel machine in some way.

I am sort of torn between having the reel-to-reel in flames vs having the artist doing that gesture where you put your finger on something and pretend it's really hot and make a cheeky face

The first post-Morrison album should've been: "One Door Closes...Another One Opens!" With a cover pic of Manzarek et al walking out of a funeral chapel arm-in-arm and laughing. Back cover: an urn.

― some infected evening (Matt #2), Thursday, May 28, 2020 7:05 AM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

hahaha ok yes

Tiny Gets Waxed

front cover: Tiny Tim is stretched out on a chaise longue in the middle of an old-timey recording studio; only the upper half of his body is visible. the horn of a wax cylinder phonograph is positioned a few inches from his face, and a sound engineer is standing by to oversee the recording process. Tiny is presumably singing into the horn, though you'd swear by his gaping mouth and furrowed brow that he was yelping in pain.

the scene continues onto the back cover, where we see that Tiny is naked from the waist down. his dick is exactly as big as you'd expect it to be. a beautician is peeling a strip of orange-pube-encrusted wax off of Tiny's pasty crotch.

(the record itself is a collection of bawdy ballads dating back to the 1890s and 1900s. it's one of the rarest and least sought-after LPs in existence)

Clearly there needs to be an album titled "Hot Takes" where the cover involves a studio reel-to-reel machine in some way.

I am sort of torn between having the reel-to-reel in flames vs having the artist doing that gesture where you put your finger on something and pretend it's really hot and make a cheeky face

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, June 1, 2020 4:11 AM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Needles slammed up into the red on the VU meters and the cartoon smoke from the cover of Loaded coming off the machine.

Metallica The Black Album Revisited (2032)

An old man's hand (wrinkled, liver spots etc) opens a black leather photo album with various sepia-tinted pictures of the Metallica members, each dressed in black.

Six month's later, Chad Kroger's "Look at this Photograph" is also released, featuring old chad kroger holding an infinite recurision of the younger chad kroger meme

Max Boyce - Boyce Keep Swinging

Welsh language close harmony David Bowie covers album, on the front is Max as Ziggy on a swing in a playground, on the back cover is a parody of the Heroes picture with a giant leek between his hands.

It feels like a wasted opportunity that when The Sweet were reduced to a trio in 1979, they never managed to release an album called Three Piece Sweet

Album cover would've been three jigsaw puzzle pieces, with candies on them.

Derrick New - Out With the Old...

Cover is a very elderly man walking through a door marked “OUT” and the artist walking through one marked “IN”

James Archibald - Self Driving Car

cover is a selfie of the artist driving a car

Had an idea for an updated version of this concept. Record is called “Guitarists HATE Him”

Aging UK DJ puts out record called "Bangers 'n' Mashups" - cover is bangers and mash plated on a vinyl record

actually that one would be perfect for DJ Food

https://i.imgur.com/uMfLH0S.jpg

well done

Winner

Robin Zander solo record - '...with this one weird trick'

lol @ Robert Culp

an extra horrible one came to me tonight -- the cover is a paycheck resting on a scale that is going down a playground slide, and the title is "Pay on a Sliding Scale"

Status Quo/Spinal Tap rockers Rusty Spanner - Kicked in the Crotchet.

The Hipgnosis cover involves semi nude possibly underaged model fighting back against medallion-clad Peter Grant resembling sleazy attacker wearing musical note spangled trousers. Too hot to stock on American shelves so replaced with typographical cover in a blackletter typefece. Band is too minor for label to bother renaming it to wordplay Americans would find meaningful, leaving heshers to ponder if it has something to do with yarn.

https://scontent-lcy1-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/934849_10152808096340571_1583611673_n.jpg

Clearly Brian Setzer needs to take advantage of this cultural moment and release an album called "Hard Setzer"

https://i.imgur.com/3skK8ee.jpg

still waiting on Robert Culp's sophomore LP... Mea Culpa

and his collab record with his buddy, Two Guys One Culp

One Culp and It's Gone

supergroup concept

https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/p526x296/273376936_10165975995735304_2650424967268006406_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=IdOZYISqnJYAX_Ccggj&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AT-OQLzV31PCf_FhGmC3tgcvIAgqOf6ElgBPVNa_ykiZjg&oe=6203CD20

Hahaha

lol

https://i.imgur.com/j0RYMTL.jpg

sorry

can you repost your Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe thing, man alive? the fb link seems to be expired

This thread is causing me fits of uncontrollable laughter.

https://i.imgur.com/mskEIWq.png

Here you go
https://i.ibb.co/Qcg8kpd/dch.jpg

although totally just a result of laziness and not thought out in advance, I like that Dewey Redman is red.

One Love is really getting me on revisiting

what about an album of David Crosby covers played on xylophones etc entitled 'If I Could Only Marimba My Name'

A super hot/fast country guitar pickin’ record called “Save Some Notes For The Rest Of Us!”

Lubomir Melnik should use that one...

Bruce Hornsby and the Range: A Range Of Different Musical Styles

Cover is an oven range and there is a pot or pan on each burner, and inside each pot or pan is the name of a musical genre (Blues, Jazz, Rock, Soul). And each is also in a different terrible typeface and different bright color.

David Van Day and a reformed Dollar: Another Day, Another Dollar

album by a smooth-jass guy entitled SAX OFFENDER, on the cover he leers & pulls open his raincoat to reveal the saxophone slung at crotch level

a young woman dressed for some reason in benny hill show style "sexy nurse" gear recoils in theatrical shock

Sequel: he is clocking in with a punch card to a stereotypical jazz club, prominently holding his sax, album title BLOW JOB

lol!

An album called “There’s Nothing Left To Live For”. The star is in the middle, to his right are several beautiful women, a sports car, stacks of cash, booze, etc, and to his left is a boring looking office desk with some bills and forms, a desktop computer etc.

Drum battle record featuring drummers Jim Black and Jim White called "Black and White." Jim Black is wearing white, and Jim White is wearing black.

Follow-up record is called "It's Not Black And White" and features neither of them.