That sentence
↓
OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?
xp
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:28 (four years ago) link
the creative types at pitchfork suffer from an ever rarer form of synesthesia where they feel compelled to translate audio into incomprehensible sequences of words
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:29 (four years ago) link
I understand the rhetorical conceit of introducing the concept of synesthesia and then using it to describe the music but... it's not particularly helpful
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:35 (four years ago) link
you guys are making me want to read Pitchfork again
ok not really but
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:36 (four years ago) link
I understand the rhetorical conceit of introducing the concept of synesthesia and then using it to describe the music
what color is "bad"
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:37 (four years ago) link
olive-brown with bright orange and puce flecks
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:38 (four years ago) link
Red because when we are angry our face will be change in red colour.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:39 (four years ago) link
See also: gammons.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 January 2020 16:44 (four years ago) link
I know that complaining about October is beyond the scope of this thread — but this is currently promoted on Pfork’s home page, and it’s sooooo dumb: https://oct.co/articles/5-types-craft-beer-drinker
― Don’t yell ‘Judas!’ in a crowded theater (morrisp), Saturday, 11 January 2020 23:00 (four years ago) link
oof. that's kinda fascinating for the existential crisis it raises - maybe there's just not enough meaningful content about beer to have a whole website devoted to it.
― enochroot, Saturday, 11 January 2020 23:16 (four years ago) link
A first-day Buzzfeed intern would be embarrassed to hit publish on that.
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Saturday, 11 January 2020 23:33 (four years ago) link
Most of us remember that it doesn't really matter what you're drinking, as long as you're enjoying it.
Oh good, there was an utterly banal point to all this.
― jmm, Saturday, 11 January 2020 23:36 (four years ago) link
I like how one of the knocks on the stout enthusiast is basically that he’s fat.
― Don’t yell ‘Judas!’ in a crowded theater (morrisp), Sunday, 12 January 2020 00:23 (four years ago) link
I resemble that remark
― Paul Ponzi, Sunday, 12 January 2020 00:31 (four years ago) link
Is this... “humor”?https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/22-musical-predictions-for-the-2020s/
― dad genes (morrisp), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 14:51 (four years ago) link
it sure tries
― culture of mayordom (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 15:16 (four years ago) link
Apparently: https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/tags/humor/
― jaymc, Tuesday, 21 January 2020 17:52 (four years ago) link
A seldom-used tag, but gold every time
― dad genes (morrisp), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 17:55 (four years ago) link
losing my mind thinking about the person on halsey’s team who had to tell her she just called for the collapse of one world trade https://t.co/eJJmK0KyQ7— ben kesslen (@benkesslen) January 23, 2020
― culture of mayordom (voodoo chili), Thursday, 23 January 2020 17:15 (four years ago) link
That explains the lingering influence of artists once written off as angry women: Shania Twain, Alanis Morissette, and pre-acrobatics P!nk.
Ex-squeeze me(?) Shania, an "angry woman"?
― dad genes (morrisp), Thursday, 23 January 2020 17:22 (four years ago) link
This review is hilarious
Though Manic features Halsey’s take on a handful of different genres—broody pop-R&B reminiscent of her early work; alt-rock-lite that is an aesthetic match to her persona; twangy country-pop sure to find a home on certain segments of pop radio—much of it has the same reflective surface and, at some points, the depth of an oil slick. The Morissette collab “Alanis’ Interlude,” which features a reference to John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” is almost too irritating to endure: “Your pussy is a wonderland,” the pair warbles, infinitely more times than necessary. It is a low point for someone who is at times a clever songwriter.
There's so much shade in this paragraph that I keep finding albinos under it
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 23 January 2020 17:36 (four years ago) link
Wow <3
― Montegays and Capulez (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, 23 January 2020 18:21 (four years ago) link
The "miserable Lyft ride" dig at Halsey reminded me of this Matty Perps tweet.
Can we give this stuff a more specific genre name, like Ubercore, since it's the music you always seem to hear in a ride share https://t.co/Us03SdPTZA— Matthew Perpetua (@perpetua) December 31, 2019
― jaymc, Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:25 (four years ago) link
wow another strike for twitter embeds
― american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:32 (four years ago) link
ILM got there first
― dad genes (morrisp), Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:42 (four years ago) link
I typically like their 6.5's better than their BNMs so maybe the Halsey is for me.
― billstevejim, Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:54 (four years ago) link
pick me up at 6
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:01 (four years ago) link
btw "Alanis' Interlude" is hilarious
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 23 January 2020 21:13 (four years ago) link
I'm listening to the entire Halsey album and so far its biggest sin is... it sounds like all the other music Halsey has released?
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 23 January 2020 21:52 (four years ago) link
Halsey IS...Halsey.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 23 January 2020 21:59 (four years ago) link
she's certainly the most successful version of the "bananees" and "avocadees" indie-girl voice, correct?
― culture of mayordom (voodoo chili), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:00 (four years ago) link
what?
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:15 (four years ago) link
from this: https://youtu.be/8SU0gFPMwP8
― culture of mayordom (voodoo chili), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:16 (four years ago) link
oh
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:17 (four years ago) link
isn't that basically just Billie Holliday
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:18 (four years ago) link
(by which I mean a bad approximation likely passed down through idk Macy Gray or something)
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:19 (four years ago) link
there's a whole category of poptronica/spotifycore songstresses who use that vocal mode, but im pretty sure that's a direct reference to cocorosie
― culture of mayordom (voodoo chili), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:26 (four years ago) link
who probably copped it from Karen Dalton
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:29 (four years ago) link
idk maybe this calls for an a thread equivalent to the old-man-hat-voice thread
I think there actually is a thread for it?
The real sin with "Alanis' Interlude" is orthographic... If you pronounce the "s" after the apostrophe, write the "s" after the apostrophe! Don't be thrown.
― dad genes (morrisp), Thursday, 23 January 2020 22:30 (four years ago) link
as they say, 0.0 jet reviews can’t melt steel beams
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Thursday, 23 January 2020 23:42 (four years ago) link
i'm no p4k purist wishng for a return to the olden days, but ... why are they reviewing of Halsey album? does she barely slide in under the imaginary credibility bar they've got over there?
― alpine static, Friday, 24 January 2020 01:04 (four years ago) link
reviewing *A* Halsey album
she has hits
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 January 2020 01:07 (four years ago) link
they'll review any major-label pop album regardless of artist credibility or number of hits (incl. if zero) if they can craft a quippy tweet out of it that'll generate lots of #engagement
for example they reviewed the flop/widely-mocked liam payne album recently, i guess b/c they couldn't resist joining in on the fun
presumably they'll limit that somewhat so as not to completely crowd out coverage of 'credible' releases that are (were?) their bread and butter, but as far as what's fair game to cover in the mainstream, it seems to be just about anything short of the most whitebread of adult contemporary artists
― dyl, Friday, 24 January 2020 01:30 (four years ago) link
a couple things I should mention as correction:
(a) Pitchfork has writers who grew up with 1D as phenomenon. Why would they pitch a review to generate lots of #engagement?
(b) I pitched a review of Liam Payne's album b/c I wanted to know what the one of the lesser known members might come up with.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 January 2020 01:39 (four years ago) link
fair points -- as someone with zero professional/journalistic experience i have no real idea of what kind of consideration goes into ultimately selecting releases to cover
but it does seem more frequent these days that their tweets linking to reviews of mainstream stars' records are packaged with 'shady' one-liners that are sure to be retweeted far-and-wide (including by those who won't even bother to click the link/read the review)
― dyl, Friday, 24 January 2020 01:52 (four years ago) link
Speaking as a writer and a onetime editor who managed writers a couple decades younger than me, I can assure you the pay is so shitty and their hopes so beaten already that they're not thinking LOL #pitchfork WILL SURELY QUOTE THIS RAPIER OF A LINE AGAINST LIAM. Every writer at every time hopes to be read and hopes to write memorable prose; it's unfortunate how social media has made reviews marketing weapons.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 January 2020 01:55 (four years ago) link
as the asker, i'm just circling back to say: i did a little poking around and my bad, i knew they had started covering most mainstream pop but i guess i thought they still weren't touching *some* stuff ... i seem to recall a Whiney thread about this? ... anyway, it appears i'm wrong and pretty much anything is fair game. which is fine. now i know.
― alpine static, Friday, 24 January 2020 01:56 (four years ago) link
and I don't deny the financial advantages in the last five years to covering most mainstream pop. I'm just saying: the reviewers aren't cynical.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 January 2020 01:58 (four years ago) link