Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was murdered

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I hear Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was JUST A KITTEN!

Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you think that Kurt Cobain killed himself?

GORDON: Yes I do think that Kurt Cobain killed himself.

UNCUT: Do you think that Kurt Cobain was murdered?

GORDON: Yes I do think that Kurt Cobain was murdered.

UNCUT: So who did it?

GORDON: Jon Poneman.

UNCUT: Weird.

GORDON: Yeah.

billstevejim (billstevejim), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

please tell me that was actual published in uncut.

Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

The real mystery surrounding Last Days is that video of Michael Pitt's band that comes with the DVD.

billstevejim (billstevejim), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kurt killed himself. Can you?

GORDON: I don't even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don't think that he did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Bean Cobian is Jojo?

GORDON: I do, yes.

discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

Apparently Kim Fields is about to hold a press conference where she plans to announce that Kurtwood Smith gave JoJo Cobian a government-created dose of the clap.

Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

dude that was the least coherent post I've ever read and I've been here a while and shit

just sayin'

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kurt killed himself. Can you?

GORDON: I don't even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don't think that he did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that JoJo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling is loosely based on Richard Pryor's own life?

GORDON: I do, yes.

gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:12 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: penis

GORDON: Flash, aa-aaaah! He saved every one of us!

UNCUT: sausage

GORDON: Trust the Gordon's fisherman.

Fellow Player Alonger, Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:16 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Shall we go, then?

GORDON: Yes, let's go.

They do not move.

Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: You're forgetting one thing

GORDON: What's that?

UNCUT: Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: I am uncut.

GORDON: Me too.

UNCUT: Do you believe a theory?

GORDON: I have evidence.

BEAN COBIAN: I am jojo.

GORDON: Your dad was murdered.

discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

YAKOV: IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MURDER DADS YOU!

UNCUT: That is very fascinating

JOJO BEAN: I AM DOGFACE BOY

JOE PISCOPO: smell my panties

GORDON: FUCK OFF

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

GORDON: I WAS THE ONE WHO MURDERED.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:59 (twenty years ago)

GORDON HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE

discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:01 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: So, after all that has happened, who do you think murdered jojo's father?

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

dying here

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

JOJO Gordon-Bean: YOU ARE UNCUT.

UNCUT: I am, yes.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: But setting that aside, what do you think really happened?

JJG-B: YOU ARE UNCUT

UNCUT: ok you got me

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

Kim Mathers and actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("Third Rock from the Sun") have apparently united in an effort to educate the public about the fact that beans can lead to suicide-by-AIDS.

Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

In a story that may or may not be related, Gordons Gano and Shumway have given an exclusive interview to Bikini that reveals their shared belief that Lil' Kim sent a harmless AIDS-o-Gram to Kurt Schilling (sic).

Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:13 (twenty years ago)

GORDON: Eww, it looks like a pig in a blanket.

UNCUT: ;o(

amon (eman), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: S

>GORDON goes south.

>You are in a stately mansion. Exits are N and W. You see: COBAIN, a SHOTGUN.

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN

>What do you want to kill COBAIN with?

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN with shotgun

>GORDON shoots COBAIN

zebedee (zebedee), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

This thread is murder. Launch a criminal investigation already.

Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

xpost, ha ha Infocom.


UNCUT: LAUNCH criminal investigation

> I'm sorry, I can't do that right now.


Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you want to come back to my place?

GORDON: I thought you'd never ask.

Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

This is an ex-thread.

Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jerzbear.com/media/music/images/17648f.jpg

Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Kurt was killed by someone else?

GORDON: It was Il Duce in the loft with the shotgun!

UNCUT: By deuce you've done it again, Holmes.

Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

hey, this thread got way better.

Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

jesus i'm crying

Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

"I didn't do it!"

http://www.nrk.no/img/376318.gif

(#1 google image search result for "courtney love", btw)

Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

she needs an adams apple

Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

lolz

rentboy (rentboy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

yeah he definitely killed himself

gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

*collapsing in tears of laughter*

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: 'twas beauty who killed the beast.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

KIM GO-GO Jordan: or...er, perhaps not.

UNCUTE: yeah.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

UNCUT: Do you believe Mojo Jojo killed Mojo Nixon?

GORDON: I do, yes.

UNCUT: WATERGATE.

jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

"Didn't do it! Nope!'

http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/courtney_love/kurts_mistake/scary_courtney_07.jpg

Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

"Tell me, was it Courtney?"

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

it's really too much, I shouldn't read this in public!

Jacobs (LolVStein), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

Kurt Cobain's childhood dream that Kim Gordon is his mother comes true in Heaven.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

"Mommy you won't let them kill me, will you?"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:21 (twenty years ago)

"Darling, they already have..."

Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

(cue eerie music)

Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

"So my daughter CocoBean has been taking to a...g-g-GHOST!?!"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

Buzz around the magazine industry is that the upcoming issue of Sam Goody's in-house magazine Request will contain a controversial interview where Courtney Cox reveals that she believes that NASCAR legend Jeff Gordon kidnapped her daughter, Coco Cox-Arquette, and filmed a D.I.Y. "AIDS is good for you" PSA with rock spawn Kim Stewart.

Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

"Of corz I dinnint do dat, no?!"

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/images/content/101530.jpg

Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Friday, 11 November 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

ten years pass...

I've settled into being agnostic when it comes to whether or not Kurt was murdered, thinking about it just puts me in a bad mood... I think there are equally compelling arguments on both sides. But these new pictures of the gun he used are really fucking me up... Look at how long that thing is. How the fuck do you shoot yourself in the head with that thing without using your toe? (he had his shoes on...)

http://nypost.com/2016/03/18/kurt-cobains-suicide-gun-revealed-for-the-first-time/

flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 16:40 (ten years ago)


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