pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

your lips to god's ears

I said this in 2014, but no one listens to me

Iggy Azaelia talks like Nicole Kidman IRL but raps in Young Dro voice

Are we post-racial or just mostly unaware that this is kinda sus?

— Christopher R. Weingarten (@1000TimesYes) May 19, 2014

Despite my statement above, I must admit would very much enjoy reading "dorkus malorkus" in an album review

It is absolutely insane that Post Malone, a white man – born in New York, raised in Texas, groomed in Los Angeles – can jack the *FLORIDIAN* AFRICAN-AMERICAN regional slang term "jit" and then casually use it in the Number One song in the country.

— Christopher R. Weingarten (@1000TimesYes) June 13, 2018

wtf why does Willow Smith need to show you "who she really is"?

because reviewers still cling to bizarrely outdated assumptions about how music's purpose is to give us a window into the soul of the artist or some such bullshit. I hate this angle, and it's omnipresent.

subjecting us to the word “nut” 15 times in under three minutes.

^ my favorite line from the iggy azalea review

would never go to this website if it weren’t for this thread tbh

see also related unspoken assumption that an artist's output is supposed to follow some sort of identifiable path toward them becoming/revealing their "true" selves

xp

like, man by the time I got to Dylan's 12th solo album I really felt I had connected with the *real* Bob Dylan and surely that was the reason I had listened to all that music up to that point

I'd like to see a musician reveal his/her true self and it turns out they're a shape shifting cat

Like Coltrane?

lol

"Dorkus Malorkus" sounds like the name of a great lost Blue Oyster Cult album.

I think what the world really needs is a collaboration between the four women reviewed by Pitchfork today. At the very least I'm pretty sure Lingua Ignota can turn Willow Smith to the dark side.

Did you forget about Jada's metal band?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdbmhTVr8Cs

This line made me laugh too, the scolding, disappointed tone: "Name a major artist—Halsey, Snoop Dogg, the cartoon character Peppa Pig—and Iggy has entangled herself in some sort of feud with them." Like gosh, imagine a rapper so gauche & clueless that they would actually feud with other artists rather than support & uplift them. Truly sad.

― “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Thursday, July 25, 2019 12:39 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is one of the (many) things that bothered me about the piece. Again, I have no dog in this fight, but by following the hyperlinks I learned the following:

1. Halsey drew first blood, clearly trying in that piece to clown on what she viewed as some low hanging fruit, and was imo totally out of line; Iggy didn't take the bait and responded with more maturity and class than I might have if it were me

2. Snoop trolled her about her looks and then called her a bitch when she, err, clapped back. I really don't get how it's Iggy who gets painted with the 'nagl' brush here rather than Snoop

3. This so-called feud is clearly a joke, with both parties clearly benefitting from the press on what must have been an excruciatingly slow news day. The PF reviewer would have you thinking it was some humorless Eminem-wants-to-actually-fight-a-fucking-puppet situation when in reality it was just some soft PR cross promoting new releases

I can't believe I'm on here defending Iggy Azaelia, whose music I'm not sure I have ever actually heard, but this is exactly the kind of review that makes me want to avoid this website

You've got them there. Name another major artist.

Did you forget about Jada's metal band?

Did you know that Kamasi Washington's pianist, Cameron Graves, was in Wicked Wisdom?

Her really damaging "feud" was the one with Q-Tip

also setting aside the origins or mechanics of the feuds themselves its just a really dumb thing to criticize a rapper for. Next this goof will tell me that some of the music on some of these rap albums is actually 'samples' of other people's songs!

"Nas has managed in his short career to run afoul of almost everyone: Jay-Z, Young Jeezy, Tupac...even Jesse Jackson! And if that weren't bad enough, there are whispers among those in the know that much of the music on Nas' albums is provided not by working musicians at all but by sampling machines. We can only assume that Nas, the son of an actual jazz musician, was raised better than that. Our advice? Straighten up and fly right, 'Nasty' Nas!"

i know this is gonna sound condescending and dickish as hell, but sometimes I wonder if a lot of people uhhhh think they “love” music but don’t really “get” music and don’t experience much actual joy or rapture when they hear it

not on ilx, just like, some of the bad reviews that get posted here

some people just like pairing IPAs with things, ok????????????

lol

caught up in the rapture of foam

Personally I wish all works of criticism regarding any artform opened with an itemized list of the creator's cancellable offenses, it'd save the writer, reader and subject a lot of valuable time

WTF is a “jit”?

still got it

As Tolstoy once said "Nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut nut."

https://i.ibb.co/RzVJyKp/Screenshot-2019-07-26-Pitchfork-The-Most-Trusted-Voice-in-Music.png
condenast.png

omg Diagonals is my all time jam - that track at apocalyptic volume is untouchable

― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, July 21, 2019 5:35 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've always loved this one as well, but listening to it recently on headphones, I was disappointed to notice for the first time the weird effect on the lead vocal that makes it sound like a bad mp3. I hope the remaster sorts this out

I've heard it, but it sounds deliberate to me. The rest of the track is so well recorded (that bass!) it seems unlikely to be a glitch.

Yeah, I thought the same thing. Mary's vocals don't have the same effect, and I also noticed it seems most prominent toward the middle of the track (and seems to disappear at the end). I've heard this song a hundred times, but never noticed it until I listened on headphones, and now I can't un-hear it. It's a weird choice. Like a filter-y, vibrato effect.

Reminds me of when I noticed this weird Tupperware-lid-popping sound in Wedding Bell by Beach House. It doesn't line up with the music at all and lasts the entire time. Very distracting to notice an annoying production mistake and/or unfortunate decision whatever the reason.

Hmmm.

https://pitchfork.com/features/photo-gallery/pitchfork-music-festival-2019-street-style/

A couple years ago pitchfork said chance the rapper had released the 4th best mixtape of the millennium, ahead of 50 Cent is the Future. Now his new album — a maturation in many respects — isn’t as good as 4th rate 50 cent knockoff pop smoke. The mind boggles

I hadn’t seen that Pitchfork “best mixtapes of the millennium” list, so I googled:

https://pitchfork.com/features/lists-and-guides/9908-the-50-best-rap-mixtapes-of-the-millennium

This is GREAT! A primer for a mixtape-know-nothing idiot whiteboy like me. Pitchfork should do more articles like this.

xpost Another continuity error! A no prize to whoever can explain

xpost That was a good feature. I've only heard a couple of those and no way am I catching up on 50, but it was a good read.

Slow news year; an article on a random Urban Outfitters–exclusive vinyl reish?:

https://pitchfork.com/news/destinys-child-announce-the-writings-on-the-wall-vinyl-reissue/

tbf, I think the hook is more "Beyonce" with that one, but your point stands

The ringtone crew has some bad news about that mixtape list

Complex has one that while not perfect at least doesn’t say Danny brown and chance the rapper mixtapes are better than 50 cent is the future

A couple years ago pitchfork said chance the rapper had released the 4th best mixtape of the millennium, ahead of 50 Cent is the Future. Now his new album — a maturation in many respects — isn’t as good as 4th rate 50 cent knockoff pop smoke. The mind boggles

can't believe Sally Pitchfork changed her personal taste in three years

I blame Sally getting really into craft beer.

can't believe Sally Pitchfork changed her personal taste in three years

― quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, July 31, 2019 1:43 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

im aware, i ... wrote for the site. but this isn't just a matter of two different reviewers liking two albums slightly differently, you're talking abt someone stamped as like a Pitchfork Artist, who got Best New Music & headlined their festival, being turned on completely for an album that is hardly some radical departure

slaves to the narrative, must force all artists to conform to scrappy upstart > triumphant breakthrough > commercial peak > bloated decline storyline.

and then... the comeback!

(if they're lucky)

He'll drop another album -- or ahem, 'mixtape' -- shortly, which people will also hate, and then about two years from now, after a series of great records that nobody pays attention to but are actually dope, he will make a mediocre album everyone will say is great. https://t.co/LYKemXzpu0

— Paul Cantor (@PaulCantor) July 29, 2019