And a ladyshave for the other leg.
B'dum Tish.
A friend of mine had this variant back in the day: Paul McCartney went down on one knee this week. Or, as the rest of us know her, ...
― Acme (acme), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 13:38 (nineteen years ago) link
Gee, you knit?
― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:56 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:08 (eighteen years ago) link
"Me best leather waistcoat!" howls Adam Clayton, "The Edge you're more beast than man!"
Haha, that's great. We need more of this fake U2 dialogue.
I love how Bono actually does refer to The Edge as "The Edge" instead of just "Edge" in conversation, as in, "What are ye doing over there with that guitar, The Edge?"
― PB, Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:21 (eighteen years ago) link
both suck without cream.
― matlewis, Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:28 (eighteen years ago) link
Jerry smiles serenely and says "Give me a guitar, so I can play 'Truckin'' one last time!"
The elder nods his agreement and then turns to Eric. "And you, what is your request?"
Eric grimaces and says "Kill me before he plays that f#*&ing song!"
― Nackles (Nackles), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 18:27 (eighteen years ago) link
Cause there are twenty of them.
― Viz (Viz), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 19:00 (eighteen years ago) link
cause there are 60 of her
― larvasauce, Tuesday, 5 July 2005 19:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 19:22 (eighteen years ago) link
He looks up to see a beautiful young woman peering down at him. "Yes," he says, "I am Thom from Radiohead. Who might you be?"
Before she can answer, the young woman morphs into 50 Cent, and he starts performing a club-friendly song from his latest collection of commercial rap crossovers.
― barfy johnson, Tuesday, 5 July 2005 19:26 (eighteen years ago) link
― bg (creamolafoam), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 08:13 (eighteen years ago) link
Who are Hansel and Gretel's favourite band?
And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Bread
― Tech Support Droid (ForestPines), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 10:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 10:30 (eighteen years ago) link
Earth, Wind, and Youre Fired!
― GET EQUIPPED WITH BAD JOKE (ex machina), Thursday, 29 December 2005 05:42 (eighteen years ago) link
― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Thursday, 29 December 2005 05:58 (eighteen years ago) link
-- rentboy (rentboyd...), September 29th, 2004.
That reminds me, I read in some music publication (perhaps even via ILM) that Stevie Wonder likes to do a little party trick where he'll have someone tell him about a particular party guest's outfit and then he'll go over to the person and compliment them on how great it looks on them.
― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 29 December 2005 06:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― gear (gear), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:48 (eighteen years ago) link
Q: What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?A: "Excuse me, but you're in my son."
― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:52 (eighteen years ago) link
Q: What's the difference between Dashboard Confessional and the Donnas?A: One is for fat chicks and the other is four fat chicks.
*Ducks*
― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:54 (eighteen years ago) link
You hear they made a Jeff Buckly documentary? It's called Finding Nemo.
― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:56 (eighteen years ago) link
― Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:57 (eighteen years ago) link
Q: Why did the music critic write mean spiteful jokes on the internet about famous people he's never met.A: Because he has crushingly low self-esteem and has to ridicule other people to validate himself and give himself the illusion of control.
― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Thursday, 29 December 2005 07:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 29 December 2005 08:04 (eighteen years ago) link
― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Thursday, 29 December 2005 08:05 (eighteen years ago) link
A: Endless Love
― musically (musically), Monday, 11 September 2006 20:52 (seventeen years ago) link
For some reason when I imagine "you're totally hired" in a Mark E. Smith voice, it comes out in the voice of Snake from the Simpsons.
― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 11 September 2006 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link
― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Monday, 11 September 2006 21:18 (seventeen years ago) link
(I went through a period of a week or so where I thought jokes about the Doors not having a bassist were hilarious. Don't ask.)
― bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Monday, 11 September 2006 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link
― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Monday, 11 September 2006 21:28 (seventeen years ago) link
― bernard snow (sixteen sergeants), Monday, 11 September 2006 22:58 (seventeen years ago) link
― everything (everything), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 03:44 (seventeen years ago) link
― Monty Von Byonga (Monty Von Byonga), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link
― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 08:29 (seventeen years ago) link
― avery keen-gardner (avery keen-gardner), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 10:51 (seventeen years ago) link
― musically (musically), Saturday, 7 October 2006 18:10 (seventeen years ago) link
― Øystein (Øystein), Saturday, 7 October 2006 18:48 (seventeen years ago) link
A. They both come on small crackers.
― monocle (Sean Miguel), Saturday, 7 October 2006 18:56 (seventeen years ago) link
Q: What do vegetarian worms eat?
A: Linda McCartney.
― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Sunday, 8 October 2006 00:41 (seventeen years ago) link
What major top selling pop group masturbates together just before going on stage, ejaculating at precisely the same moment on a towel supplied by their management?
'NSync
Why did the Red Hot Chilli Peppers cross the road?
They were running away from the rehab clinic.
Why do the Red Hot Chilli Peppers wear socks on their cocks?
Because they've lost all bladder control.
― Matt Olken (Moodles), Sunday, 8 October 2006 01:28 (seventeen years ago) link
q. what's brown and rhymes with snoop?
a. dr. dre
― musically, Thursday, 24 July 2008 17:46 (fifteen years ago) link
lulz
― Joseph McCombs, Thursday, 24 July 2008 17:52 (fifteen years ago) link
Some 1978 zine said this joke was making the rounds in NYC punk dives:
What has ten legs and kills its girlfriend? Squid Vicious.
― dad a, Thursday, 24 July 2008 18:28 (fifteen years ago) link
more neil hamburger barbs:
what do you call a senior citizen who can't refrain from showing her genitalia in public? madonna.
what's the difference between courtney love and the american flag? it'd be wrong to urinate on the american flag.
― andrew m., Thursday, 24 July 2008 18:54 (fifteen years ago) link
more Hamburger
What's Elton John and a Sabre Toothed Tiger got in common
Hell Knows but I would'nt let either of them near my ass
― sonnyboy, Thursday, 24 July 2008 19:52 (fifteen years ago) link
I heard that Dr. Dre one recently.
F3rg's Sparks joke still wins thread as far as I'm concerned (followed closely by "Endless Love"). Got a big old guffaw outta me, that's for sure.
― Just got offed, Thursday, 24 July 2008 20:36 (fifteen years ago) link
Your favourite jokes about David Guetta
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Thursday, 24 July 2008 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Q: what did the deadheads say when they ran out of drugs? A: god, this band sucks.
― will, Thursday, 24 July 2008 21:18 (fifteen years ago) link
Q: What did the Star Wars droid change his name to when he joined the New York No Wave scene?
A: R2 Lindsay!!!!!!!!!!
― the next grozart, Monday, 16 March 2009 14:57 (fifteen years ago) link
What do you call a rapper who's been ritually slaughtered and bled?
Halal Cool J!
― chap, Monday, 16 March 2009 15:01 (fifteen years ago) link
Have you heard about that white rapper with the sinus infection?
His names Ebideb.
― the next grozart, Monday, 16 March 2009 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link