♫ Your NOMINATIONS for the best songs under 2 minutes poll ♫ (nominations close MARCH 1ST)

but first i would probably turn back time to other moments that were more consequential for the rest of humanity and attempt to make some changes

as i continue through the thread, i'll list the songs i have to kick off. for those who missed my mid-thread post, i'm using spotify as the arbitrator of song length, just to have some sort of concrete judge.

X - we're desperate (there are several versions on spotify, all at 2 or above. just missed it by a second or two. sorry)
Solomon Burke - Got to Get You Off My Mind (almost all the versions on spotify are 2:36. there's an edit that's 1:57 on one release (soul clan), but it doesn't seem right to include it)

it pains me to remove this, but almost every version of it is over 2 minutes, except for some obscure choral renditions

henry mancini - pink panther theme

teenage fanclub - what you do to me
2:01 on spotify

Slide the pitch control to +1 on your turntable, it’ll sound basically the same but will have a run time of 1:59, problem sorted

It's 1:59 on the 4,766 Seconds compilation. But if consensus is the original is too long that's fine.

on a related note, i am angry that somehow the batman theme is longer than 2 minutes

way late here (and past the deadline), but:

Link Wray and His Ray Men - Batman Theme (1:55)
The Who - Batman Theme (1:21)
The Jam - Batman Theme (1:30)

(and also, The Mekons - 32 Weeks (1:38))

Also prob too late, not mad if it doesn't stick, but

Dennis Challen Brown & Chuck Lorre - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme (1:28)

(yes, that chuck lorre!)

I can't read, let's try that again

Miles Doppler - Heroes In A Half Shell (1:28)

per the wikipedia -- The soundtrack was composed by Dennis Challen Brown (credited as "D.C. Brown" and later as "Dennis C. Brown") and Chuck Lorre. Lorre recorded the theme song (and performed the spoken parts) and became a successful television producer. The performer of the song was James Mandell (aka Miles Doppler).[21] To date the soundtrack has never been released for retail.

mookie i had to remove hot snakes (mystery boy) and elvis costello (no action), at 2:00 and 2:01 on spotify, respectively. rules chaotically settled upon halfway through a process are rules

Morrissey - I Know Very Well How I Got My Name (1:59)*
Perfume Genius - Hood (1:58)*

2:02 and 2:00 on spotify, therefore banished. i am sorry.

if it helps, i'm thinking another optional subpoll will be something like "best songs that are actually under 2 minutes but didn't qualify for this poll because of spotify"

Frankie Cosmos - Fool (1:59:99)
This is p borderline so i understand if it’s thrown out but I make it just under two minutes removing the silence at the end.

i believe you, but 2:04 on spotify so banned

but a fine contender for the "<2 minutes, arguably" subpoll

Fantastic song that I could nitpick over--how long the actual song is vs. what it's listed as--but I won't bother: the Jamies' "Summertime, Summertime." I know there are a thousand songs just like it that are going to miss by a second because of this gray area.

1:58, in

Pulp - 59 Lyndhurst Grove (1:46)
can't find a version of it less than 3 minutes, suggest banned

Marathons - Peanut Butter (1:57)
everything on spotify a touch over 2 minutes, sorry

going to bed. ETA for voting thread: friday night/saturday afternoon, usa time

i'm 1450 songs into the nominations, of which 1204 are on the spotify playlist

omg 'duck' by bill wells/maher shalal hash baz has killed me dead, i am dead

i didn't think a 1-minute instrumental would have me in floods of tears but here we are

great tune, isn't it? and only 1 minute long.

Yeah, I'll def vote for 'Duck'.

Two double entries I have spotted in the spreadsheet:

Beastie Boys - Funky Boss
Eddie Cochran - Summertime Blues

There are also a couple of bands with and without the indefinite article "the", eg The Ramones. Maybe it would be a good idea to sort the spreadsheet alpbabetically by artist and song. Thanks for the tremendous work you are putting in this, "Karl.

https://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/teenage-fanclub/bandwagonesque/

https://www.discogs.com/Teenage-Fanclub-Bandwagonesque/master/6041

Teenage Fanclub - What You Do To Me (2:00)
^definitely worth fighting to include this song IMO

https://www.discogs.com/composition/451cd8d7-b6ba-4e3c-abda-0b6c43663ecf-What-You-Do-To-Me

you are right that is a great song but even on the discogs website it is 2:00 and that is one second too much.

i need to start a spreadsheet with my favorite new discoveries to talk about in the campaigning thread.

Maher Shalal Hash Baz has several of these iirc, they’re all very cute. That albums with Bill Wells ls golden.

I like the versions on Osaka Bridge better than Gok.

oh 2:00 exactly doesn't count? Kinda dumb rule

Yes, let's go over that again.

(reads OP)
oh it's mookieproof's fault

I want him to go over that again and again for all of eternity until he learns the consequences of what he has done

Two double entries I have spotted in the spreadsheet:

Thanks! I’m surprised there aren’t more - I haven’t done any cleanup whatsoever on it yet, as I’m waiting to do the basic entry first before sorting and looking for little mistakes.

Guided By Voices - "Dropping the Bomb" (1:30)

imo hold the poll until every eligible gbv song is nominated

They get written faster than we can add them. There's been 3 new GBV songs since your post, imago

we should just do a quick 24 hour poll of all the nomd GBV songs and only the top 3 are eligible for this.

i went through several more hundred today. about 350 more to go, i think.

i sent these songs to hell:

crystal stilts - love is a wave (2:00)
vashti bunyan - find my heart again (2:01)
vashti bunyan - 17 pink sugar elephants (2:49)
the nerves - when you find out (2:01)

for those who have missed it, playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/user/weinventyou/playlist/5NYa3dBthFiDcftI0ObtC3?si=n2br2BTtTceH5v0JuKNYyQ

thx for all your work
lxy and i were listening last night and she xsaid “what if these were in order by release date?” not sth for you to do karl obv but an interesting thought exercise
also bunker hill wtff wow

Approaching the end of the playlist. Fortunately I was paying just enough attention to terminate Frank Zappa's Pound for a Brown before I'd listened to all SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY SECONDS.

the nerves - when you find out (1:58)
https://www.discogs.com/composition/32c97e51-fb26-432b-ba9f-23e0924452ca-When-You-Find-Out

Are we still nominating?

oic, n/m

Approaching the end of the playlist. Fortunately I was paying just enough attention to terminate Frank Zappa's Pound for a Brown before I'd listened to all SIX MINUTES AND FIFTY SECONDS.

― large bananas pregnant (ledge), Wednesday, March 6, 2019 3:21 AM (four hours ago)

That's the wrong version, the original on Uncle Meat is 1:29.

I'm surprised nobody nominated any pre-"Cooky Puss" Beastie Boys tracks. (I just heard them for the first time last night.)

I forgot to nominate anything because I was too overwhelmed with my own personal list of candidates but the overall nom list is like a billion times more overwhelming (and has 90% of what I'd thought of) so no matter

I am psyched for the madness

vashti bunyan - 17 pink sugar elephants (2:49)

― Karl Malone,

Wait a minute:

https://open.spotify.com/track/0oyRMmcAE31mHIM9NdempL?si=lxDD1XBCQGa6i6oe0ul4IQ

It’s 1:52 on spotify... which one are you looking at?

It’s also shorter than 2 minutes on youtube and discogs and rym... I want to know which version is this that amounts to 2:49 because I want to hear it and also I demand 17 Pink Sugar Elephants to count because it’s one of my fave songs ever. I protest.

treasure your <30-second songs: https://qz.com/1563588/4-songs-on-when-i-get-home-may-earn-solange-no-money-from-spotify/

Moka I’ll check it again when I get home - it was late at night and I was very tired so it’s possible/very probable that I was just doing something silly