"Maroon 5 is band you're going to be hearing a lot of for many years to come!"

Just heard this quote on VH1 by some stooge from Entertainment Weekly in regards to their video, "This Love". Now, while I'm sure they're perfectly nice guys, doesn't the notion that Maroon 5 have a long, successful career in front of them seem positively laughable? I mean, Maroon 5 are just this year's Third Eye Blind. Or am I missing something, and they really are the fuckin' second coming?

Yeah, I was wrong about a few things.

Second coming indeed.

one of the best thread-title typos

Yeah everyone knows it's Moron 5.

Saw a funny Neko Case post about last night. Something like "fuck all of you for making such a big deal about half of Janet Jackson's nipple when that greased pig was allowed to perform on TV."

The other funny thing I saw was someone saying Adam Levine looked like he was starring in a remake of Memento if all of his tattoos were reminders of where he left his Juul.

Super Bowl halftime nipple rules feel inconsistent

— Katie Nolan (@katienolan) February 4, 2019

Every woman at the Superbowl party I hit yesterday was drooling over this syphilitic shoe lace

hahahahaha

when he was tossing his clothes into the crowd I shouted "throw the mic next!!!"

https://i.imgur.com/l2wb358.jpg

He's like the singer from Buckcherry with a better manager and, I assume, a worse falsetto.

Adam Levine is the Shia LaBeouf of music.

he has a truly awful voice, like a pan-pipe playing in a bucket

xxp not so much falsetto, more 'knackers caught in gears of a 14 speed racing bike'.

Every woman at the Superbowl party I hit yesterday was drooling over this syphilitic shoe lace

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

you shouldn't hit women

ordinarily i'd agree but

i'd say i am not even willing to joke about that but i think i just did, so...

lol imagine travelling back in time 15 years and saying, "Brady is gonna win a Super Bowl in 2019 and Maroon 5 will play the halftime show"

"lol imagine travelling back in time 15 years and saying, "Brady is gonna win a Super Bowl in 2019 and Maroon 5 will play the halftime show"

― frogbs"

'and wait until you hear about our president!'

Doc Brown: "OK future boy, so who plays the Super Bowl halftime show in 2019?"
Marty: "Maroon 5"
Doc Brown: "Maroon 5!?!"

Doc Brown: "...so who's President then, Pee Wee Herman?"
Marty: "Ah, actually not someone that qualified..."

Reading the first posts in this thread is like going back to 2015 and reading people dismissing Trump's chances

He's like the singer from Buckcherry with a better manager and, I assume, a worse falsetto.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, February 4, 2019 9:42 AM (seventeen minutes ago)

read this as "worse fellatio"

I heard that was their original band name.

Every time this thread gets bumped, I think about the first time I saw the video for "Creep" by Radiohead and how I confidently told my cousin, "we'll never hear from this group again"

Maroon 5's longevity is way more impressive though, they went from having one song to like...having two

xxp well they do suck bad

Tbf they have been hiring hitmakers for some time now. Right?

Every woman at the Superbowl party I hit yesterday was drooling over this syphilitic shoe lace

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

you shouldn't hit women

― The Elvis of Nationalism and Amoral Patriotism (rushomancy), Monday, February 4, 2019 9:45 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ordinarily i'd agree but

― Calgary customer Elvis Cavalic (bizarro gazzara), Monday, February 4, 2019 9:46 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was imagining a "snap out of it" 1940s movie cliche type thing

maura's piece kills it:
https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/maroon-5-at-the-super-bowl-a-game-everyone-lost/

maron 5

maroon 5 if they were from jersey

how is that guy remotely considered hot

In every Google Image Search result he looks like a douchebag.

i.e. a bag filled with douche

Could come in handy on the go

One of my most sex positive friends posted on FB that seeing Levine grind on his micstand made her put her vagina on suicide watch.

how is that guy remotely considered hot

It could be the muscle tone, the tattoos, the brunette hair, his ability to turn you off. Any of those things could be what makes him hot.

You were an unforgettable Peter Pan. You must play it again soon.

It could only have been your natural timidity that kept you from mentioning it.

https://www.ritzcinema.com.au/SharedContent/ad2c2182-273b-47c9-a3a8-e3f76e73f8b7/gkAvkRf-JkGjpAHixVZVMQ.jpg

with short hair, adam levine looks like he could go into a phone booth and emerge as liev schreiber. watched with a friend that saw maroon 5 open for OAR may years ago in college, and she kept shaking her head, saying "I don't understand. They played all of these songs back then."

imagine having your OAR show, the super bowl of college rock shows, ruined by maroon 5 only to have your super bowl halftime show, the super bowl of halftime shows, similarly ruined 15 years later!

i guess that ew guy was right

.

how is that guy remotely considered hot

how is that guy remotely considered hot

female heterosexuality is a disease with extremely unfortunate symptoms

Also saw the diaper ad he did w Legend. Urgh.

_how is that guy remotely considered hot_

female heterosexuality is a disease with extremely unfortunate symptoms

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would open up a chain of sushi restaurants in laundromats.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would buy a really big trash can to throw all his smaller trash cans into.