pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

***long sigh***

I wish I could listen to bands like Iron Maiden and not laugh uncontrollably.

(i understand this makes me a horrible person)

no, what makes you a horrible person is your lack of allegiance to Satan

otm. Satan's pretty cool.

wtf, I heart satan?

Iron Maiden definitely have a front-to-back great album, it's called The Final Frontier.

Hmmm. I want to argue but I think I have to agree. Even their best albums are like 1/3 filler. They're the Tom Petty of metal.

Piece of Mind was the album that clicked first for me, for better or for worse. It was when I first heard "Quest for Fire" and sort of did a double take when I realized it was indeed a hilariously literal tale of cavemen hunter gatherers battling each other and dinosaurs. That's when I recognized the band was super silly and lovably so for it. It's also the Iron Maiden song I play for people who think Maiden is some scary metal band and not a goofy prog vehicle with ott vocals, and also for people who are big Tenacious D fans who don't recognize what Jack Black is aping.

I'd like to be the Tom Petty of ambient music.

Tom Petty at low volume in the background is probably very comforting.

he's pretty clear on the fact that he won't back down, however

See?

It's not a bad gig!

i'm free
free falling
*airy ambient beat subtly fades in*

So, you're sayin' you wanna collab on sumthin`, Z?

i want to be the iron maiden of ambient music

So, what? Like, the Tom Petty of ambient (which will now be known as TPoA going forward), but with, like, more ridiculous everything?

i'm free
free falling
*airy ambient beat subtly fades in*

Surely this is already a vaporwave track

https://oct.co/essays/ariana-grande-tattoo-artist-mira-miriah-beer
Beyond parody

One of the questions in this article on Pitchfork's Anheuser-Busch InBev-sponsored beer vertical about Ariana Grande's tattoo artist collaborating on a beer with Wicked Weed is "Would you call yourself a feminist?"

Whiney and Champiness performing heroics by clicking on the absolute dregs of P4K to keep this thread stocked up.

Whiney post = essence of Williamsburg in 2018

Alexa, what is neoliberalism

Pitchfork's Anheuser-Busch InBev-sponsored beer vertical

almost an underrated aero username here

it's hilarious to me that Budweiser has snatched up all these craft breweries across the country and they sponsor a section of Pitchfork's website while at the same time they run commercials on TV about how fancy beers are for sissy boys. amazing.

gotta work both sides

So for anyone who misses talking about Greta Van Fleet on this thread, here's an interview with the guy who wrote the p4k takedown review:
http://www.switchedonpop.com/97-greta-van-fleet/

questions should come in the format of post-game interviews with the winning team

after an epic year of writing, features, and great music, you've just delivered your long-awaited [Greta Van Fleet takedown review]. what was going through your mind as the [review] went live?

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, December 12, 2017 4:31 PM (eleven months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Z, if you ever need any proof of your own brilliance, please click the "Bookmark" link next to the above message and reference as needed.

I don't usually complain about Pitchfork scores, but that 6ix9ine album has too high of a score for an album with nothing redeeming about it.

Taking Sides:

Tekashi 6ix9ine v. Greta Van Fleet

oh cool now they're just straight up promoting their own products (re: Slowdive reissue)

HOW DARE THEY

Vinyl, Me Please is one of the absolute corniest ventures going and I can’t imagine how or why P4k would agree to this since they steady either only do cool stuff (ie that museum thing, Primavera, etc) or sponsored stuff where someone presumably throws a giant bag of cash at them

all the accoutrement that comes with VMP releases (cocktail recipes) are corny as fuck but they do a good job with the records themselves. I heard the first year's batch and they all sounded & looked great which is more than I can say about almost all vinyl reissue companies

I don't know anything about the records they reissue (no turntable, no interest) but I've written a couple of things for their site and enjoyed that experience.

I'm not 100% sure how I feel about it from a business strategy perspective, but I ordered the Slowdive LP reissue for one of my friends for Christmas, and unless they totally screw up the reissue, I can't see it being a bad decision.

That may come down to Pygmalion being an all-time favorite album, but still.

I don't know anything about the records they reissue (no turntable, no interest) but I've written a couple of things for their site and enjoyed that experience.

― grawlix (unperson), Friday, December 7, 2018 4:43 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah they've had some great writing on the site

don't miss their reviews! they usually update with a few on weekdays, plus a special one on sunday

whiney otm.

Anybody know if the demos on the cd Pygmalion reissue sound better than the ones that circulated on the net??

Taking Sides:

Tekashi 6ix9ine v. Greta Van Fleet

― ilxor, Friday, 7 December 2018 20:52 (yesterday) Permalink

Tekashi ruins some great beats

They’re feeding him beats from the best producers in the game

And greta van fleet as I understand it is a Led Zeppelin tribute band?

Also 69 is a sex criminal

Led zeppelin is a sex criminal

Seen through the prism of indiedom, Black Sabbath's Paranoid is a mere 9.5. Bah.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/black-sabbath-paranoid/

If that’s not a 10, what is?

I guess they docked off 0.5 because of the lyrics to 'Fairies Wear Boots'.

Wait'll they get ahold of the equally problematic "Evil Woman, Don't Play Your Games With Me"

Lol

Tbf fairies do wear boots esp when dancing w dwarves

So, I went to the doctor, see what he could give me
He said, 'son; son, you’ve gone too far
'Cause smokin' and trippin' is all that you do'