amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

eh, this seems harmless all things considered

Imagine if she commanded her minions to make farts

“dear everybody. channel your anger.” seems like solid username material

xpost

https://goo.gl/images/bkZdKp

(I am simple.)

The publishing landscape can be bleak but Neil Gaiman RTing people who are trying to crowdfund enough money to cover the entrance fees to Neil Gaiman’s for-profit Phoenix University class feels like a new low pic.twitter.com/toPwRimXdK

— Kim O'Connor (@shallowbrigade) February 1, 2019

didn’t feel like this was worth a revive a while ago but since we’re in yikes territory

nothing more revolutionary than sliding your ex an unexpected late night phone call after not talking to them for several months or years pic.twitter.com/G56Xsw9h4d

— Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) January 27, 2019

a friday night call, when most people are winding down or being social after a work week, from someone you haven’t heard from in a while would convey an odd sense of urgency to me, but

https://uproxx.com/music/amanda-palmer-trump-punk-rock-great-again/

“It’s been a really scary time in America. I don’t know how it’s felt over here [in Australia] for the past few months, but it’s a total sh*t show over there. Especially if you’re an artist, a woman, a minority, gay — anything but a rich white man — it’s really very scary. But being an optimist … there is this part of me — especially having studied Weimar Germany extensively — I’m like, ‘This is our moment.’ Donald Trump is going to make punk rock great again. We’re all going to crawl down staircases into basements and speakeasies and make amazing satirically political art. If the political climate keeps getting uglier, the art will have to answer. We will have to fight. It’s already happening — the artists in my tribes have been like, ‘Alright. This is not good.’ We are sharpening our knives for a large buffet.”

Directly following this assertion, Palmer shared that she and her husband, a 56-year-old British writer named Neil Gaiman, will be living in Australia for the duration of Trump’s term. The Australian government has granted the couple distinguished talent visas good for five years, so they will be living in the country during that time.

According to Palmer, the couple applied for the visas long before Trump emerged:

“We started this [visa application] process long before the specter of Donald Trump, before his orange head was even a speck on the horizon of our lives. We have a brand new baby, who’s a year old, and I’ve been looking around at the world, the political climate, the art scenes, my friends, our whole situation, trying to figure out where we should land. And Australia does look pretty tasty.”

Yeah the revolution's gonna be so great you guys, I'd be there with you but y'know, the flight's already booked so, like, have fun resisting or whatever.

They have working visas valid for five years; neither of them are living in Australia, though they have both visited for work.

since the article’s from 2016 wouldn’t it be the case they have working visas that *were* good for five years but have three and some change years remaining?

please let me have this, it’s the closest I’ll get to cornering you on a fact

I forgot this person existed. Sounds like she winters in Australia. From a year ago:

I’ve come to Australia almost every winter for the past 10 years,” Palmer says. “I absolutely love the place: I love the food, I love the strong flat whites, I love the art, I love my friends. I’m in a long-term non-monogamous relationship with the country.”

It’s an open relationship that even the Australian Government has been happy to make official, recently granting Palmer and author husband Neil Gaiman five-year ‘distinguished talent’ working visas.

https://www.adelaidereview.com.au/arts/performing-arts/amanda-palmers-open-relationship-australia/

Warning: in the article she refers to herself as, among other things, a "full-time social media commentator."

since the article’s from 2016 wouldn’t it be the case they have working visas that *were* good for five years but have three and some change years remaining?

please let me have this, it’s the closest I’ll get to cornering you on a fact

sorry man, but it's the type of visa that's good for five years (if you leave and come back - it is actually good for indefinite residence otherwise)

Sounds like she winters in Australia.

"spending three months of leisure in a place every year" is not the same thing as "going to multiple cities on a continent several times, for two weeks of work, and staying with friends for an extra week or so between gigs twice. and then only going once in five years."

and "performing one tour between Trump's election and inauguration, that was already booked before the election" is not the same as "moving to Australia and staying there when Trump was elected"

I’ll get you one of these days

I believe in u!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpugp6DIb3I

I fee like the amount of time Palmer & Gaiman have or haven't spent in Australia might be a little beside the point, it's the sheer arrogance of casually mentioning she can fuck off whenever she likes, a privilege many others will not have, i.e. those she imagines will be creating all this incredible art in response to their lives being turned to total garbage.

It betrays a staggeringly narcissistic, self-absorbed world view that does not acknowledge people without her advantages even exist.

Her biggest crime is still the Bowie Prom though. What a shitshow.

Also, if she paid even the slightest attention, she might have noticed that we in Australia are hardly glorying under an enlightened govt right now.

a cheap holiday in other people's misery

The government did seem slightly more strong & stable in November 2016, five months after Malcolm bought an election by one seat, than (checks watch) five months after Morrison rolled Dutton in the middle of knifing Malcolm to a minority government

Strong and stable, maybe, but fascist-leaning, refugee-bashing, science-denying too.

It occurs to me at this moment that although I have burned into my skull this revolutionary woman's revolutionary facial expression as she handed the rose of revolution to an imaginary passer-by in her revolutionary TED talk, I have yet to hear a note of her music (or I have entirely forgotten what I have heard). Is it good? Any Youtube link shows her holding a ukulele and my internet automatically disconnects when there are ukuleles

Is it good?

it's that facial expression rendered in music, basically

It would be a cool twist if it was unfortunately amazing

crystallised narcissism made audible

my internet automatically disconnects when there are ukuleles

hmm, same deal over here

The first I ever heard of her was when Coin Operated Boy by the Dresden Dolls came out on the radio. I actually liked it pretty well. A snappy little novelty number to break up the endless spins of Boulevard of Broken Dreams and American Idiot.

I checked out a smattering of her stuff after that, but never found anything I enjoyed.

I had not at the time seen the music video with full mime routine and eyebrows.

I don't get why you would crawl down the staircase to the basement tho, is it a special kind of staircase with very low clearance or is it a thing punk rock people do? can't put my finger on it right now but i feel like i've seen photos of punk rock people standing descending staircases in upright posture

why you would crawl down a staircase to the basement, based on 20+ yrs of punk rock experience:

1. you are highly intoxicated and your legs gave out
2. you are wheelchair bound and it's the only way to get down the stairs
3. avoiding excessive smoke inhalation from a fire

for attention

Doesn't Doubletree also give you free cookies?

― DJP, Sunday, 23 June 2013 20:17 (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink

hoos u motherfucker im callin u out

someone did that damn coin operated fucking song at karaoke a while back and it was mortifying

not as bad as "sex and candy sang sultrily" but definitely up there

i asked for a cookie at the desk and got two

warmed

hoos i beg u forgive

About five years ago someone I worked with put on the first music of the day, which was all 5.5 minutes of her Ukulele anthem. Not a morning person at the best of times but that was brutal

I’ve stayed at a doubletree a few times the past year, close to a concert venue, and luckily never had to pick between active picket line and hot cookie hospitality

the media is flailing.
artists are scrambling.
the music business - after everything it should’ve learned post-napster - is still screwing artists & the public is none the wiser.

but bold art will surface to the top.

pay attention.
the revolution may well be crowdfunded.

— Amanda Palmer is about to tour the UK/EU (@amandapalmer) September 3, 2019

gil scott patreon has spoken

I am not certain what she expected the music industry to do to/with artists post-Napster?

gil scott patreon lollll

Lol maura

Absolutely perfect.

"whitey on the moon" stretch goal

Well here's a thread.

In recent months I have been dealing with a bizarre situation with Amanda Palmer. I blocked her years ago, I think we had a spat about that tour where she offered to pay musicians in hugs and beer. She recently became fixated by this and asked her 1m fans to find out why I had.

— Laura Snapes (@laurasnapes) November 21, 2019

so out of character

what a psycho

that sucks/palmer sucks

so, this sucked. i was about to do a huge tour of britain and ireland - one of the most extensive UK-centered tours of my career, including four hard-to-sell-out shows in london. losing this press ally was going to be a major pain in the ass.

let it go, amanda, let it go.... pic.twitter.com/PcdjBPb37H

— Amanda Palmer Is Touring Europe & the UK (@amandapalmer) November 21, 2019

and i let it go, but i still thought, WHERE IS MY NEW YORKER PROFILE? WHY IS THE ATLANTIC NOT BANGING ON MY DOOR TO WRITE A TWELVE-PAGE PIECE ABOUT MY INCREDIBLE COMMUNITY? i was sad.

let it go, amanda. let it all go....❄️❄️ pic.twitter.com/upr3rbuXPc

— Amanda Palmer Is Touring Europe & the UK (@amandapalmer) November 21, 2019

Good god.

In positive news, glancing through recent photos of her, she seems to have switched to a natural eyebrow look. Not sure how recent that is, but it's a major improvement. Hate to talk about a woman performer's appearance rather than her music, but those eyebrows were like a 1990s edgy teen haircut phase carried on for the better part of two decades.

WHY IS THE ATLANTIC NOT BANGING ON MY DOOR TO WRITE A TWELVE-PAGE PIECE ABOUT MY INCREDIBLE COMMUNITY?

Err, if you have to ask...

known feminist

of course i’m not entitled to coverage. but when a known feminist does a tour to 20,000 in your area, talking openly about miscarriage & abortion in a way that nobody is currently doing & you claim to be a progressive, feminist paper, that’s your choice to explain to the people.

— Amanda Palmer Is Touring Europe & the UK (@amandapalmer) November 21, 2019

where is all of the attention that i obviously deserve