So, Should I fly to London in late February to attend the Killing Joke Anniversary Shows at the Shepherds Bush Empire....?

(i woulda met up if if i'd seen this in time)

Good lord am I fucking tired. Yeah, this is another long one, but gimme a break. And there are pics at the bottom.

Alex Back in NYC reporting once again for Active Duty.

Got in this morning. My flight was chock-full of THREE British high school classes combined on their way to a big communal visit to NYC. It was like flying over the Atlantic in a massive fucking school bus. Mr.inNYC was NOT at all pleased. They were fine, though, for the most part. On the way off the plane, who should be greeting me as I cross the threshold but Mr.RICHARD BRANSON, VIRGIN CEO himself! Actually shook the man's hand. Stranger than fiction.

....and then things got shitty again.

I was pulled over -- quite unexpectedly and frustratingly inexplicably -- by U.S. CUSTOMS. That's right, MY OWN FUCKING COUNTRY decided that it needed to have a little chatty-chat with me. Going through the motions at the custom's gate, the decidedly unsmiling man behind the desk drew a BIG YELLOW LINE down my declaration card and told me to "see the gate clerk." Not clued in that something was up, said clerk said "go see Number 15!". Okay. I walk over to Number Fifteen (despite the good-natured entreaties of clearly bored Number Sixteen, a jovial black gent). Oh no, I went with equally unsmiling Number Fifteen, a true jarhead with a buzzcut and a bad attitude. At this point, I *STILL* haven't realized that something is up. "Have you ever been in trouble with Customs before, sir?" he barks. "Umm.....what do you mean before? Am I in trouble with Customs NOW?" "Just answer the question, sir!" Fuck. "No sir.""Have you ever lived in Seattle?" "Ummmm....no, I'm a native New Yorker and always have been --- and have lots of documentation to support it". "What do you do for a living, sir?" "Ummm...I'm a journalist, I supp..." "LET ME SEE YOUR PASSPORT NUMBER IMMEDIATELY!" By this point, I'm getting alarmed. "Ummm....is something wrong?" I'm panicking now, as I didn't declare the six little jars of fancy mustard I bought at Fortnum & Mason for my mother-in-law. But, somewhat surprisingly, they don't look in my bag. Lots of frowning, typing, brow-furrowing and suspicious staring. Finally, some stamping of my passport and I'm given a "comment card". "Am I in trouble, officer?" I ask...sounding worryingly like Shaggy in 'Scooby-Do'. "I'm not allowed to tell you, sir, but if you contact the address in the document I just handed you, perhaps they can elaborate. With a last name as common as yours......" he trailed off. And waved me off. And off I went, shaken and paranoid.

Anyway, enough bellyachin'....herewith some piccies....

Thursday night:

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.27.26%20-0800/Image-ABEB1B78891611D9.jpg

me walking around on Friday...hungover and somewhat lost...

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF4E453891F11D9.jpg

Nice shot of ye olde Thames...

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF4EE5C891F11D9.jpg

Friday night...
http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF5387F891F11D9.jpg

Check out that guy's hawk!
http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF6234D891F11D9.jpg

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF63911891F11D9.jpg

The Kilburn tube stop...

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DFCACDA891F11D9.jpg

Customs always make you think you're in trouble even if you're not. That's what they're hired for.

Now THIS is really *honouring the fire*!

in a welsh tourist shop i once found some beer-flavoured mustard!! not a good idea

Now THIS is really *honouring the fire*!

haha, well part of the deal for me to come to London involved my mother-in-law flying up from Texas to stay with my wife & the baby, so some sign of gratitude/compensation/tribute was truly due. And she loves that fuckin' stuff.

Incidentally, if I never set foot in Piccadilly Circus again (or the surrounding area), that would be absolutely fuckin' fine with me. It makes Times Square seem sparsely attended.

Seriously, with a last name as common as your actual last name, there are probably plenty of people with your exact full name.

http://www.studio-c.co.uk/maliciousdamage/graphics/mdbutt129-f2.jpg

Ummm.....could this really be something that would set off a customs agent?

Piccadilly Circus again (or the surrounding area), that would be absolutely fuckin' fine with me. It makes Times Square seem sparsely attended.

Funnily enough, when we visited Times Square, I was surprised at how quiet it seemed. Now I know why...

It's full of Americans, that's problem!

Hope she enjoys the mustard. Is there room for it alongside "the shortbread biscuits my son in law bought me when he went to see Throbbing Gristle" and the "Slayer teddies in national costume"

Hmmm ... so why Seattle? Is that the new hotspot for the terrorists?

Seattle held the G8 conference in 2000. Maybe the Customs officer thought Alex looked like an Anti-Globalization protestor.

however most likely on comment card: scruffy rocker needs to smarten up ;-)

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF5421E891F11D9.jpg

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DF656B1891F11D9.jpg

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2005-02-27%2016.45.31%20-0800/Image-7DFC6804891F11D9.jpg

That's a fellow Gatherer, my absolute not sober self, and Raven after the show on Friday night. Hooray for alcohol.

About the customs thing, my opinion is don't bother. If they really had something on you I can't imagine why they would have left you up to your own devices to contact whoever anyway. And the way you tell the story you make it sound like they only told you to contact someone for an answer to your question, not because THEY specifically wanted you to contact someone. The way you tell the story, it just sounds like a lot of scare tactics to me.

actually jars of food like that are the perfect thing to get caught at customs for, as they're commonly used to smuggle drugs (masking scent for the dogs, icky stuff for the customs agent's hand). don't ask me how i know.

i'd bet, given your last name, there's somebody on the big "no flight list" with the same or a similar name. good thing your flight didn't get turned around. but don't worry, ted kennedy's on it too!