pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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Rush are unique among galumphy prog-rock bands in that they lack a single song (you know, like “Roundabout,” “Court of the Crimson King,” “Freebird,” “The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway”) you could play for someone to try to convince them of the band’s import.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:51 (six years ago) link

i totally like roxy music more than solomon burke. that guy otm.

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:52 (six years ago) link

Imagine being so much of a piss-smelling D&D fatty that you think any of those songs are better than "Tom Sawyer"

we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:53 (six years ago) link

i would just play them "xanadu". instant fan!

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:54 (six years ago) link

What songs did Rush even do? It's unknowable...

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:55 (six years ago) link

i totally like roxy music more than solomon burke. that guy otm.

― scott seward,

yeah I think that blurb was otm actually

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:55 (six years ago) link

i totally like roxy music more than solomon burke

I do too tbh, just boggling at the fact that he doesn't even try to make any connection between the two, just briefly notes Burke's existence and then writes a paragraph explaining why he digs Roxy Music

soref, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:56 (six years ago) link

This sentence about Patti Smith, citation needed

She also reinjected Van Morrisonian levels of exaltation and ecstasy to the music, which then lived on in the work of R.E.M. among others.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 14:58 (six years ago) link

that solomon burke blurb is hilarious

nxd, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:11 (six years ago) link

they shudda done that for every entry, a one sentence mini-biography followed by a paragraph on roxy music

nxd, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:13 (six years ago) link

i'll be honest, i'm kinda mad that i didn't think to do something like this. it's so pointless in the exact way that i enjoy being pointless.

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:13 (six years ago) link

i'd read scott's version any day

especially if it's mostly asides

mh, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:21 (six years ago) link

I do too tbh, just boggling at the fact that he doesn't even try to make any connection between the two, just briefly notes Burke's existence and then writes a paragraph explaining why he digs Roxy Music

― soref, Wednesday, May 2, 2018 7:56 AM (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's easy to understand, it's because he doesn't know anything about Solomon Burke! though "happy warrior" and "openhearted soul singer" are very solid shortcuts to describe artists of a certain specific genre you're ignorant about, i guess...

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:22 (six years ago) link

"A graceful, elegant presence over decades" is a great way to describe Ray Charles if you don't know him from much more than his appearance on Super Dave

we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:26 (six years ago) link

idk Solomon Burke = Hubert Humphrey is a weird comparison imo

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:29 (six years ago) link

certainly the women he worked with thought Ray was a graceful, elegant presence at all times

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:30 (six years ago) link

Its really sad for the editors of Vulture to take advantage of and not properly edit a *googles* 57 year old man like this

we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:30 (six years ago) link

still grimacing about what he said about Depeche Mode tbh

mh, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:36 (six years ago) link

“Mama Said Knock You Out” is almost his One Great Song. But I don’t believe a word he says in any other track he’s ever recorded. I was surprised to read that he had actually made the short list several times. The guy on the Grammys wearing the funny hat and nattering on about “Grammy moment” this and “Grammy moment” that — that complete industry tool in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:37 (six years ago) link

*grimaces harder*

mh, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:38 (six years ago) link

A sui generis blues boogie stomper, often slowed down to barbiturate levels. I like Hooker, but why is his oddball shtick lauded while those of so many others ignored?

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:44 (six years ago) link

scott will never top his ayreon review tbf

that said, they've got a new one out! get on it

imago, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:53 (six years ago) link

it was all downhill after that.

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:54 (six years ago) link

even the ayreon guy liked it. he e-mailed me.

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:55 (six years ago) link

“Mama Said Knock You Out” is almost his One Great Song. But I don’t believe a word he says in any other track he’s ever recorded. I was surprised to read that he had actually made the short list several times. The guy on the Grammys wearing the funny hat and nattering on about “Grammy moment” this and “Grammy moment” that — that complete industry tool in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

― we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, May 2, 2018 10:37 AM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

alks;jdfp;laskjhdgfoashdgilsadf

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 15:56 (six years ago) link

https://youtu.be/0ilMpknVt2k

how's life, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 16:00 (six years ago) link

Gee how to turn a really good idea into something absolutely vile and terrible. And I say this as someone who's spent his life escaping the sound of Queen.

Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 16:09 (six years ago) link

Careful, Queen are right behind you, watch out!

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 16:12 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc4lnoZFD9Q

Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 16:17 (six years ago) link

I was prepared to defend a music writer’s right to be catty in a low-stakes listicle about how all our favorite acts are basically awful as both artists and people, but even by the opening paragraph - “the idea of a bunch of self-satisfied music-industry fat cats in tuxedos having rock stars assemble for a command performance in the Waldorf Astoria Ballroom once a year is precisely the sort of thing rock was created to be the antidote to” is just “this glossy bop-pop was the indifferent aristocracy to punk rock's stone-throwing in the late 70's” for an era where you can’t come out and say that.

You're all losing so many points on your progress bars (Champiness), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 16:43 (six years ago) link

a bunch of self-satisfied music-industry fat cats in tuxedos having rock stars assemble for a command performance in the Waldorf Astoria Ballroom once a year is precisely the sort of thing rock was created to be the antidote to

doesn't seem like chuck berry would have a problem w/this...though do the inductees perform for free? he wouldn't like that

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 17:24 (six years ago) link

popular musicians tend to like recognition and adulation and validation. and awards. and people clapping for them. and a good steak dinner.

scott seward, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 17:28 (six years ago) link

i would get inducted into the rock n' roll hall of fame every day if i could

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 17:38 (six years ago) link

if I got free steak and cocktails, sure!

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 18:02 (six years ago) link

we need to con someone into an ilx awards sponsorship so we can all just go somewhere to have steak and cocktails imo

mh, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 18:05 (six years ago) link

it should really just be called the popular music hall of fame, thank you for taking the time to read this insightful post

marcos, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 18:06 (six years ago) link

alfred i'd be honored if you would give my induction speech you will get your meal comp'd and get to meet jeff ament from pearl jam that's my promise to you

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:20 (six years ago) link

Most bullshit part of that NWA thing is that Niggaz4life is probably a better album than Straight Outta Compton. And wasn't NWA & The Posse the first official release?

niggaz4life had a studio budget but does not have any good songs. NWA & The Posse is a re-release of their first single, with 8 songs by other acts added to it to become a compilation album.

dude gets extremely mad at the inducted Rolling Stones members including founder Ian Stewart, because Andrew Loog Oldham thought he wasn't fuckable enough, but not at including three separate rhythm guitarists from different lineups. "It seems obvious to me that the Stones insisted on it and the hall didn’t have the balls to say no." lol

later on he gets repeatedly indignant about one of Pearl Jam's several drummers not being inducted*, then objects to Robert Trujillo being in for Metallica, but not to Dave Mustaine being out.

*elsewhere he slags off another one of the Pearl Jam drummers without mention of his earlier vendetta, for having been inducted, as a former member of another band.


Melle Mel's name is mispelled, above a blurb about respect for the Furious Five being faked.


He is now a rock elder, not exactly pompous but a little overeager to share his (intelligent but numerous) thoughts about anything.

you just wrote 214 opinions about rock musicians


Johnny Cash (1992)

A gracious albeit haunted presence to the end.

vs

Ray Charles (1986)

A graceful, elegant presence over decades.

weird that he or the Hall go with eg 'Joseph "Grandmaster Flash" Saddler', but not 'Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson'


With lots of help from producer Rick Rubin, they made their mark with extreme brattiness married to highly artful and meaningful samples

uh sure


Mnemonic device: The guy who doesn’t have a beard is named Beard.

he has had a beard for years now



LL Cool J. ... But I don’t believe a word he says in any other track he’s ever recorded.

oh I ABSOLUTELY believe that "Bikini: small. Heels: tall."

Lots of these blurbs are kinda fun though, and I like the actual HOF history seeded throughout.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:24 (six years ago) link

niggaz4life had a studio budget but does not have any good songs.

truth

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:27 (six years ago) link

LL Cool J is the type of guy to say the puddin' is delicious I stake my life on it

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:29 (six years ago) link

niggaz4life was huge for a minute but out of all the massive rap albums from that time, it's aged the worst for so many reasons imo. it sounds like a really awkward halfway point between SOC and The Chronic, i mean i get the style it was going for but i don't think it's good. I'm kind of agnostic on the post-NWA Dre sound anyway, idk.

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:31 (six years ago) link

LL Cool J rules

Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:37 (six years ago) link

who are these ladies and why would anyone think james is cool? such falsehoods

mh, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:50 (six years ago) link

niggaz4life was huge for a minute but out of all the massive rap albums from that time, it's aged the worst for so many reasons imo. it sounds like a really awkward halfway point between SOC and The Chronic, i mean i get the style it was going for but i don't think it's good. I'm kind of agnostic on the post-NWA Dre sound anyway, idk.

― omar little, Wednesday, May 2, 2018 2:31 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The DOC's No One Can Do It Better is the missing link here, better than N4L or SOC

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:53 (six years ago) link

i listened to mama said knock you out and that album really holds up very well

farmers blvd is so funky

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 19:54 (six years ago) link

The DOC's No One Can Do It Better is the missing link here, better than N4L or SOC

kinda true but Eazy-Duz-It, Livin' Like Hustlers, Supersonic, the Michel'le album, and We're All In The Same Gang (plus 100 Miles & Runnin', which is great) are all in that missing link period too, dude was developing his skills and working in a range of styles. The Last Song totally sounds like a proto-Chronic jam.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 21:40 (six years ago) link

I also adore how he sticks in a dig at Daryl Hall and John Oates when possible; those digs are as frequent the Roxy endorsements.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 21:41 (six years ago) link

everything is dulcet

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:06 (six years ago) link

Wait, was that a joke, or does that writer really dismiss LL? That's the downside of being a young prodigy, by the time you make it to the halfway mark people start forgetting why you were practically legendary from the start. It would be like dismissing Big Daddy Kane as a hack best known for posing in Playgirl and appearing in Meteor Man.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:16 (six years ago) link


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