amanda palmer's open poem to jonathan chait (and other crimes)

o'brien or the barbarian?

O'brien - based on how much he seemed to thrive off of fame in the doc. I mean he's super nice to his fans, but he needs that *fix*

I just feel like a therapist could help introduce Palmer to useful words like "jealousy" so she doesn't have to call it "Fucking Joan" instead

lol

Beyonce or Madonna really didn’t throw me into a panic — i would never make those choices

thanks for this, i'd been wondering why amanda palmer wasn't beyonce and it's reassuring to know it was her choice

i used to hate this thread and in this new context it's a pleasant respite from the world outside to step inside the impenetrable sphere of self-regard that is ap

I'd love to hear a Beyoncé Knowles/Edward Ka-Spel collab

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lest you believe the hype, the porta-potty is to the left just off-camera (even thurston moore had to use it)

honestly, some of that was very insightful and worthwhile reading

granted, I only read about 15% of it

I would probably pee next to a dumpster before using a toilet Thurston just left
fwiw it's been less than a month since I last pissed on a bar dumpster, though

Thurston's a human toilet

that ps

there's a live show with ka-spel on here:

http://concert.arte.tv/fr/amanda-palmer-edward-ka-spel-maifeld-derby-2017

when reading that excerpt, the line " none of these three above projects were a huge commercial success" made me go back to make sure she'd listed three albums and wasn't including her baby

she hadn't

I think I'm gonna bow out of this

hahaha

I always enjoy when she makes these sorts of list and makes sure she calls out her "lovers" a la Will Ferrell & Rachel Dratch on SNL

The baby bit was a decent self-aware joke by AP standards

this imagined scenario starts off as super-plausible imo but quickly devolves from there

i also starting using this embarrassing mental trick in which i tried to flip the fictional script and i’d imagine fiona apple or regina spektor thinking about me and getting annoyed.

i’d try to imagine fiona apple sitting on a chaise lounge surrounded by wonderful plants and colorful furniture and pretty clothes staring into the sinking L.A. sun and thinking: “why am i making this goddamn 12-song record? i should be more like amanda palmer and have a patreon, so I could do whatever I felt like whenever I felt like it and know I’d be supported and free from record company interference. i am terrible. fucking amanda palmer.”

or i’d imagine PJ Harvey looking over the edge of a wind-swept cliff in dorset, clutching the leashes of a couple forlorn greyhounds, thinking “ughhhh…i wish I could give a TED talk about how irritating the bloody music industry is. fucking amanda palmer.”

or tori amos sitting in a woodland mansion somewhere, surrounded by exotic birds, rare concert grand pianos and herbal teas, musing about whether she should have started a band with just a drummer, then taken off her clothes more often while learning to play the ukulele.

i knew that these fictional scenarios were bonkers.

just a lonely girl thinking baout tori amos surrounded by exotic birds and herbal teas

markers otm idk why u guys pay attention to her. the only reason I'm even aware of her is because of this thread

it's like the first half of the article was all a setup for a "keeping up with the Jonis" pun and then we didn't even get it

"Joan" indeed Iaskyou

http://concert.arte.tv/de/amanda-palmer-edward-ka-spel-maifeld-derby-2017

this is excellent, total catnip for any Legendary Pink Dots fan, where has Patrick the violin dude been hiding all these years and how can we get him back into the Pink Dots?

"this" = 1st 7 minutes or so

file under "and other crimes":
http://amandapalmer.net/drowninginthesound/

and you’re trying to help
and you’re clicking for change
and you’re calling it out
and you’re adding your name
and you’re marching for peace
but you’re lynching the bitch
that got up in your face
how else they gonna to take you seriously?

south by south west
two miles from town
i can’t get out
i can’t look down
if you can hear
if you’re around
i’m over here
i’m over here
i’m watching
everyone i love
drowning in the sound

and your body is a temple
but the temple is a prison
and the prison’s overcrowded
and they know about the flooding
and the body politic is getting sicker by the minute
and the media’s not fake
it’s just very
inconvenient

do you ever feel that this should be officially the end?
and that you should be the one to do the ending but you can’t?

and do you ever feel that everyone is slowly letting go
do you ever feel that…incredibly alone?

You're supposed to sing this to the tune of "Mr. Brightside," right?

"Fucking Joan, turning saints into the sea..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-5y7sCDxYw

"I am certain her heart is in the right place" vs *reads title* "HARD PASS"

I've been quietly sitting here waiting for someone else to comment first because I'm still just staring at the title/cover image

maybe the cover would be better if I turned the contrast way down and the figure in the back faded out

jfc

dear everybody. channel your anger. if you have time today, make some art. anything. you don’t have to show it to anybody and it absolutely does not have to be good. make sounds. paint shapes. write something. take plants and arrange. anything. make some art. love, amanda

— Amanda Palmer (@amandapalmer) September 30, 2018

eh, this seems harmless all things considered

Imagine if she commanded her minions to make farts

“dear everybody. channel your anger.” seems like solid username material

xpost

https://goo.gl/images/bkZdKp

(I am simple.)

The publishing landscape can be bleak but Neil Gaiman RTing people who are trying to crowdfund enough money to cover the entrance fees to Neil Gaiman’s for-profit Phoenix University class feels like a new low pic.twitter.com/toPwRimXdK

— Kim O'Connor (@shallowbrigade) February 1, 2019

didn’t feel like this was worth a revive a while ago but since we’re in yikes territory

nothing more revolutionary than sliding your ex an unexpected late night phone call after not talking to them for several months or years pic.twitter.com/G56Xsw9h4d

— Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) January 27, 2019

a friday night call, when most people are winding down or being social after a work week, from someone you haven’t heard from in a while would convey an odd sense of urgency to me, but

https://uproxx.com/music/amanda-palmer-trump-punk-rock-great-again/

“It’s been a really scary time in America. I don’t know how it’s felt over here [in Australia] for the past few months, but it’s a total sh*t show over there. Especially if you’re an artist, a woman, a minority, gay — anything but a rich white man — it’s really very scary. But being an optimist … there is this part of me — especially having studied Weimar Germany extensively — I’m like, ‘This is our moment.’ Donald Trump is going to make punk rock great again. We’re all going to crawl down staircases into basements and speakeasies and make amazing satirically political art. If the political climate keeps getting uglier, the art will have to answer. We will have to fight. It’s already happening — the artists in my tribes have been like, ‘Alright. This is not good.’ We are sharpening our knives for a large buffet.”

Directly following this assertion, Palmer shared that she and her husband, a 56-year-old British writer named Neil Gaiman, will be living in Australia for the duration of Trump’s term. The Australian government has granted the couple distinguished talent visas good for five years, so they will be living in the country during that time.

According to Palmer, the couple applied for the visas long before Trump emerged:

“We started this [visa application] process long before the specter of Donald Trump, before his orange head was even a speck on the horizon of our lives. We have a brand new baby, who’s a year old, and I’ve been looking around at the world, the political climate, the art scenes, my friends, our whole situation, trying to figure out where we should land. And Australia does look pretty tasty.”

Yeah the revolution's gonna be so great you guys, I'd be there with you but y'know, the flight's already booked so, like, have fun resisting or whatever.

They have working visas valid for five years; neither of them are living in Australia, though they have both visited for work.

since the article’s from 2016 wouldn’t it be the case they have working visas that *were* good for five years but have three and some change years remaining?

please let me have this, it’s the closest I’ll get to cornering you on a fact

I forgot this person existed. Sounds like she winters in Australia. From a year ago:

I’ve come to Australia almost every winter for the past 10 years,” Palmer says. “I absolutely love the place: I love the food, I love the strong flat whites, I love the art, I love my friends. I’m in a long-term non-monogamous relationship with the country.”

It’s an open relationship that even the Australian Government has been happy to make official, recently granting Palmer and author husband Neil Gaiman five-year ‘distinguished talent’ working visas.

https://www.adelaidereview.com.au/arts/performing-arts/amanda-palmers-open-relationship-australia/

Warning: in the article she refers to herself as, among other things, a "full-time social media commentator."

since the article’s from 2016 wouldn’t it be the case they have working visas that *were* good for five years but have three and some change years remaining?

please let me have this, it’s the closest I’ll get to cornering you on a fact

sorry man, but it's the type of visa that's good for five years (if you leave and come back - it is actually good for indefinite residence otherwise)

Sounds like she winters in Australia.

"spending three months of leisure in a place every year" is not the same thing as "going to multiple cities on a continent several times, for two weeks of work, and staying with friends for an extra week or so between gigs twice. and then only going once in five years."

and "performing one tour between Trump's election and inauguration, that was already booked before the election" is not the same as "moving to Australia and staying there when Trump was elected"

I’ll get you one of these days

I believe in u!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpugp6DIb3I

I fee like the amount of time Palmer & Gaiman have or haven't spent in Australia might be a little beside the point, it's the sheer arrogance of casually mentioning she can fuck off whenever she likes, a privilege many others will not have, i.e. those she imagines will be creating all this incredible art in response to their lives being turned to total garbage.

It betrays a staggeringly narcissistic, self-absorbed world view that does not acknowledge people without her advantages even exist.

Her biggest crime is still the Bowie Prom though. What a shitshow.

Also, if she paid even the slightest attention, she might have noticed that we in Australia are hardly glorying under an enlightened govt right now.