OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Yes, how dare those young women sing along with music? Everyone knows music is only truly appreciated by boys.

hang on, didn't we do the exact opposite of this one last week?

ok, someone (*ahem*) shared that there is a notably bad Lorde review and I think I found it, but can anyone corroborate

i already regret posting about it

This is all starting to feel like the thing in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, except it's a pile of dung.

i wasn't a fan of the one that wondered if she was being held back by being a pop artist...

generally there have been a lot of lorde thinkpieces

I don't know if it's the one Brad was thinking of, but the one on Uproxx is by someone who should be kept away from keyboards for at least a decade.

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

I hear there is a really great Father John Misty interview out there!

Katherine otm though

some young women need editors who aren't themselves

tbh everyone needs editors who aren't themselves

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

https://68.media.tumblr.com/0ae4a458b02b1705c96dd846493e2aad/tumblr_inline_n3ghj9J3u91qcklud.gif

that whole movie is a cringefest

― leprechaundriac (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, May 31, 2017 5:15 PM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just makes me feel grateful that the planned Robert Zemeckis Yellow Submarine remake got scrapped. Small mercies.

I don't know, as a general rule I would rather prevent old dudes from writing about Lorde than young women

― sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Monday, 19 June 2017 22:39 (yesterday) Permalink

ok the piece still sucks tho

Piece on Lorde that no one will link to and ILM can't reach a consensus on where it was published is definitely the worst piece of music writing ever.

otoh if this guy hates it, there's probably some merit

o lorde tupac mansplain to them

i'm issuing subpoenas to everyone on this thread, give up your sources on the Lorde review!!!!!!!

tick tick tick

ilx melodrama

ilx d-d-d-d-dynamite

Wasn't really sure if it should go here or not but I think the 'hats of, chief' is worthy of it.

This is apparently in Q magazine.

http://i.imgur.com/Fk9phey.jpg

Whew! Close one.

I certainly can't remember the likes of Baby Ford or A Guy Called Gerald sawing up fenders back then, was that really a thing?

wallop! etc

same guy as this dude? Worst Thing In This Daily Telegraph "10 ways Britpop changed modern manhood" Article

tbh, everyone needs editors who aren't themselves

― maura, Monday, June 19, 2017 6:12 PM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I certainly can't remember the likes of Baby Ford or A Guy Called Gerald sawing up fenders back then, was that really a thing?

― calzino,

I dont recall anyone doing that

Guitar Music means Stars of the Lid and Oren Ambarchi, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVG9u_nxWBI

^^^my dance hero

It's not entirely imaginary - there was an ad for The White Room with Cauty and Drummond in mining gear showering sparks by taking hand grinders to a couple of guitars which Sounds also issued as a poster.

This Facsist Kills Machines

Lorde: Melodrama (Lava/Republic) Having achieved world renown as a 16-year-old innocent with a throaty voice, a head on her shoulders, and the nerve to dissent from a style of upward mobility invented by black people a pole away, she returns four years later as what else—a pop property with a sex life. Thus her chief musical collaborator is Taylor/Sia/Carly Rae helpmeet Jack Antonoff rather than New Zealand svengali Joel Little, and it's Antonoff plus the extra grain in her voice that make the difference here. For me, the most meaningful line is "Put my hands under your T-shirt," because it suggests someone who's thought about how this sex thing works. Deep, no. Real, in theory. Sex life, presumably. Pop property, absolutely. B PLUS

gross

Lorde: now with shoulders AND a head!

What's the record sound like? Who cares! Lorde's having sex (probably)!

Think that's the point of the review.

to write about how awesome Lorde is for inspiring a male fantasy

Not too awesome, only a B+! Not being devils advocate or anything but he's criticizing the disc for compromising/stereotyping a promising& unique talent or something like that.

or something

"a pole away" strikes me as very... off

Should be "across the Indian Ocean" ?

a hemisphere away

excited to find out black people invented vulgar materialism

hardly controversial to suggest Royals plays on a type of materialism associated with successful black artists, iirc Beyonce is name checked

Dude's such a fucking creep

Lol @ "hardly controversial"; ILM argued the point for a month iirc.

one reason i can't be bothered to reargue, also i suspect niels was commenting without reading the review clearly

A lifetime of witty irrelevance behind him, self-proclaimed Dean aims for - and achieves! - for par on this creepy course. B-