OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

What if someone texted these Run DMC lyrics to real sucker MCs

you say "are you kidding" but if it turned out an actual publication actually commissioned this sort of thing, would anyone really be surprised

seems more corny than gross to me, i mean the punchline is "do you guys realize that bryson tiller is kind of a creep" but written in "we're down w/ the kids" memetalk via text messages ... its bad content but im not sure i see how it's 'gross'

i guess the execution is kind of unintended-ly gross for making you think abt the poor people on the other side? but still it's clearly positioned to be mocking bryson tiller

the suggestion that your exes are guinea pigs you could subject to a mind-fuck social experiment in the name of #content is gross

sure? idk what kind of person reads this & goes away thinking "i should try this on my ex"

like the message is clearly "this would turn out badly"

idek why im arguing this point, we all the think the article is bad

there's also the angle of (probably-)white dude using rap lyrics for his hilarious idea of a "self-deprecating" prank

i mean, its more white dude stealing the concept from black people on twitter, where it's a longstanding joke where ppl express their *self awareness* about the douchey-ness of the lyrics by pointing out how no one would talk like that irl, drawing attention to the role of music like tiller's as a kind of therapeutic or emotional "its ok to feel it but not to act on it" kind of thing

no one (w/ a moral compass) would talk like that irl

obviously those jokes can also be interpreted in other ways, like there's a subset of dudes who send those texts to their exes just to get funny responses (which is gross) & there's probably a subset of weirdos who dont get the joke, but the overall thrust of it is supposed to be: the way bryson tiller talks is not how healthy people in relationships talk to each other

point being as i said before: there are problems with this bad article, but i think you're misinterpreting it

there's something about how the female voice is being subtly mimicked and mocked here too, i think...some of the replies as written are i think meant to be self-deprecating to the author but come off the other way a bit.

this has little to do with the quality of the piece, I admit, but just the sheer arrogance of it, how women are called clingy bitches if they even so much as think about contacting an ex once or, like, go to an event in their neighborhood or whatnot

(and then how something like this fits perfectly into the ironic-acceptable ex behavior overton window)

Could you imagine being an adult media professional and either having or pretending someone is in your phone as "ex-bae" even jokingly

point being as i said before: there are problems with this bad article, but i think you're misinterpreting it

board description

lol i felt bad about that post. was kind of dickish

if they sent the lyrics to people on tindr it coulda been ok i think

oh god

http://www.avclub.com/article/ice-cube-becomes-global-media-mogul-has-good-day-249009

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven, seven—even Back Door Little Joe.

smh

That Complex article seems to have been taken down.

not for me

(although thanks for making me send it one more click I guess)

I think Father John Misty's long-winded explanation of his new album could fit on this list. http://pitchfork.com/news/71106-here-is-father-john-mistys-incredibly-long-incredibly-awesome-explanation-of-what-his-new-album-is-about/

i'm not reading that. you read it. give it to mikey, he hates everything.

i had to check:

"Born May 3, 1981 (age 35)"

ouch....

I could barely read it, it was mindless pap

fuck this guy

shit, dude was born the week after me :/

OH KIDS THESE DAYS!!

http://ritholtz.com/2017/02/weve-got-no-protest-music

lol, no preamble or anything. Just straight into "1. Mariah Carey".

welcome to lefsetz land

If only there was an embraceable anthem, akin to those of NWA and Public Enemy of yesteryear. I remember during the Rodney King riots realizing everything Ice-T said was right. But now that Trump’s in office and white man power is at its zenith, I can’t point to one hip-hop song that nails it.

if only there were a song that told Donald Trump to fuck off...

Waiting for people to do the heavy lifting and send him relevant songs

We used to sit around and sing Beatle songs, playing the chords on our guitars. I haven’t seen a group of kids sitting around playing today’s music…ever!

lol must have never been to a fuckin' bar on a Friday night or to any dorms ever.

ugh this board is at its worst when people think it's fun to joke about shit like Alzheimer's

If only there were some meme depicting an old man, say, yelling at a cloud or something

quite the conundrum

it’s become self-referential, kinda like metal. You can’t understand today’s metal unless you listened to decades of it before.

It's a special kind of agony when Lefsetz says something you kind of agree with.

Stopped clock etc

I'm missing the part where anyone joked about Alzheimer's

Yeah, I missed that too. Maybe a post landed in the wrong thread by mistake?

I think that was supposed to be a joke? As in, don't make fun of this guy, he can't help himself, "senior moment," etc

that's how I read it anyway

bingo

Does this count

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQUSEiwl_zY/

i like it

Though the following exhibit came out in 2013, I maintain that it is the worst piece of music writing ever committed to pixels:

http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/what-if-you-dont-like-beyonces-album/

When I was standing in line to validate a parking ticket after American Hustle, “Pretty Hurts” was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t get it out, even after sitting in a theater honed in on another piece of media for nearly three hours. Those are the moments that matter, and they never happen immediately. That’s how I was proven wrong.